Sunday, August 29, 2010


Going to try the one word post again. It turned out pretty well last time, but I have no idea how it will work out today. The words you guys offered up are written down on pieces of paper in my black sequin-covered top hat. Yeah, I have one of those. I bought it for my one and only choreographed karaoke number, Hey Big Spender. Ah... the good old days. Thank you, Liza, for contributing five words or the selection would be very slim. Hopefully, this will spur you on to give me more words in your comments;-) I also pulled this clip so that you might get an idea of what you're in for with this exercise (don't forget to turn off the sound on my music player at the bottom of the page):

This is going to be fifteen minutes of me puking up whatever comes to mind on whatever word comes out of the hat. Okay, I am shuffling the words and pulling out a word now. The word is: discombobulate.

Good Lord. Well, that is appropriate. If there is anything that I have been this week it is that! It seems like this week has been very discombobulated. As in upside down, topsy turvy, everything gone awry. Sorta feels like I have been riding down the road on the wrong side with my head on the floor board and my feet driving the car. Yeah, like that. Barefoot, no less. And, I have not been wearing a seat belt either. I have also been cranky. Little Miss Cranky Pants at your service here.

They should give you a brochure when you file bankruptcy that it will very likely make you cranky. Not real fun to be around. Hmmm. Maybe they just assume that you are smart enough to anticipate that ahead of time. Yeah, probably. Well, I didn't. I thought it would be a big fat relief. That was dumb. I am still waiting on the relief to begin to flow. That relief can start happening at any second.

Turns out that my medication is really messing with me. Who knew? Yeah. Shocking. They starting messing with your meds and it might actually make you a little bit crazy. Turns out. Huh. Well, they have increased one of my meds (and still are) ~ they call it titrating it up until it hits max effectiveness for the fibromyalgia. Well, it is working for the fibro, which is good. The bad is that it is also an anti-depressant, and I was already taking an anti-depressant. Well... all of that anti-depressant has made me manic depressive. Yeah, they have turned me into a bipolar person.

Now, that is crazy right? Funny huh? When I am manic, like now, I think it is hilarious. They took a person with all kinds of medical problems and actually added one more. That is a laugh riot. The downside is when I come off this high, I feel suicidal. Yeah, I actually feel suicidal. I think about killing myself for several days before the mania kicks back in. Isn't that downright jovial? So, I am now titrating down on my other anti-depressant to try and get some of the anti-depressant out of my system. We shall see if that works. My mother says that if I kill myself with the pills when I am in the suicidal down phase, she will have them revive me somehow just so that she can kill me again. That is her way of saying that she loves me very much and that it would kill her if I killed me. Isn't that sweet? Barring that, she threatened to then kill her own self with my pills if I did myself in. Well, that sucks lemons. Who can kill themselves even at their most suicidal knowing that their mother is going to jump down the rabbit hole after them? I guess she was making her point. God bless her.

Those doctors. When they say they are practicing medicine. Believe them. They are not lying. They really are practicing medicine. On you. On me. And I am beginning to think that they really have no idea what they are doing. We are all just test subjects. Like rats. Rats in a maze. My time is almost up. It's a good thing because I think I smell some cheese. I'm outta here.

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  1. It's true. They are just practicing... I'm sorry it's making yo feel crazy though.

    I think my new birth control has made me very prone to vicious anger over trivial matters like dishes. And I sit there thinking rationally I shouldn't be this mad over dishes, but I can't stop being violently angry over it no matter how much I rationalize.

    Oh and I just wanted to thank you for your comment on my BOTW tonight. It really made me smile.

  2. have you ever seen apollo 13...there is a part on the movie where one of the astronauts is getting a little fuzzy. He puts a NO on one of the buttons that would jettison one part of the space craft. He didn't want to while he was out of his mind, so he put no on it. I am thinking something similar may be in order.
    Hang in there.

  3. Sorry, but all words lead to "pissible"...Cancels out all the other fancy stuff and pretty much says it all!

  4. Ah, welcome to the wonderful world of the human chemistry experiment. A smidge of this ... a pinch of that ... add a bit more of that one the next time ... oops! too much! sorry 'bout that. It's all just a crap shoot, unfortunately. But it's a crap shoot that can work fabulously, when it works. May it happen sooner rather than later for you ....

  5. I hate messing with medications but it seems inevitable everything seems to effect them.

  6. Huh! I'm going to have to go look that word up ;-)

    I'm not on any medication, but for the past week or so I haven't really wanted to smack someone - no-one in particular, just anyone - full on in the face. What is going on?!?!


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