Saturday, August 7, 2010


I know this will come as a HUGE shock: I was up until 1am fiddling with my music player on here and then I blasted off onto YouTube. I had two things going on. One was a migraine that was making sleep difficult anyway. And the other was insanity. It was brought on by the migraine. My initial line of thinking was that I would go through my existing music, delete some, and then add some. The problem with that line of thinking is that I liked everything I put there in the first place. Duh. So, there was no deleting. There was just adding. I now have 125 songs on my player. I just discovered that only 100 will show up on here. I guess that means that my playlist randomly selects which 100 pop each time you folks drop in. Interesting.

If you will recall, today is supposed to be inspirational song Saturday. I have come to the conclusion that this is not going to work for me. I can go with music Saturday. Or sometimes inspirational song Saturday. Or inspirational to me song Saturday. Music is near and dear to my heart. I love it. I really can't imagine being deaf. I really don't know how Beethoven managed that one, and still managed to write not just music, but one of the most amazing pieces of music of his entire life. He never got to HEAR it. People can be freaking amazing. I am not putting the Hallelujah Chorus on here, although that is very inspirational. Maybe another day.

Last night, while I was scrolling through music on the playlist for my eclectic selection, I had to include Eminem. Those are five words I thought I would never type. I had to include Eminem. There, I typed them again. So, I put his name in the search, along with Not Afraid, and it came right up, and it got added. I also added Airplanes 2. I then added a WHOLE BUNCH of other stuff. I was winding down, and then for the heck of it, just put his name in to see what would come up. One of the songs that came up was with this one: I LOVE THE WAY YOU LIE feat. Rihanna. So, I pressed play to give it a listen and... I have no words, people. I listened to it again. I added it to my playlist and logged out. That was when I switched over to YouTube.

It turns out there is a video for this song. This has to be a new video because I was just on YouTube on Wednesday picking up footage for Bath (Not Afraid) for HERE'S TO YOU THURSDAY, and this song was not there. I would have noticed. With trepidation, and some excitement, I pressed play. I had to watch it again. After the third time, I was done. In some ways, the video is distracting. I was glad I listened to the song first, without all of that video action. However, before you watch the video, I want you to think about some very important things.

1) They hired big-shot actors and actresses for this thing. Megan Fox and Dominic Monaghan.

2) This is one of the flip sides of physical abuse that I haven't talked about (make that two): with some couples it goes both ways. The girl usually gets the worst end of the deal, but she gets her licks in, too. The second thing is that no matter what happens some people can't walk away no matter how ugly it gets. They just can't.

3) I love how honest Eminem is about the rage this guy is feeling. This song is about social activism. It is a wake up and smell the coffee song. I applaud him for being so damn honest. When he mans up, he means it.

Don't forget to shut off my music player at the bottom of the page.

Okay, I am going to assume that you watched the video. I have to say that the end with the fire business totally freaked me out. It was a little bit like watching my dreams come to life. Except not. Still, the first time I watched it, my eyes about bugged out of my head. It is still weird, but that is my personal weird and nothing to do with the video. So, getting back on track...

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife
In my windpipe
I can't breathe
But I still fight
While I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right
It's like I'm in flight
High of a love
Drunk from the hate
It's like I'm huffing paint
And I love it the more that I suffer
I suffocate
And right before im about to drown
She resuscitates me
She fucking hates me
And I love it
Where you going
I'm leaving you
No you ain't
Come back
We're running right back
Here we go again
It's so insane
Cause when it's going good
It's going great
I'm Superman
With the wind in his bag
She's Lois Lane
But when it's bad
It's awful
I feel so ashamed
I snap
Who's that dude
I don't even know his name
I laid hands on her
I'll never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

You ever love somebody so much
You can barely breathe
When you're with them
You meet
And neither one of you
Even know what hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah them chills
Used to get 'em
Now you're getting fucking sick
Of looking at 'em
You swore you've never hit 'em
Never do nothing to hurt 'em
Now you're in each other's face
Spewing venom
And these words
When you spit 'em
You push
Pull each other's hair
Scratch, claw, bit 'em
Throw 'em down
Pin 'em
So lost in the moments
When you're in 'em
It's the rage that took over
It controls you both
So they say it's best
To go your separate ways
Guess that they don't know ya
Cause today
That was yesterday
Yesterday is over
It's a different day
Sound like broken records
Playin' over
But you promised her
Next time you'll show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave
Out the window
Guess that's why they call it window pane

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Now I know we said things
Did things
That we didn't mean
And we fall back
Into the same patterns
Same routine
But your temper's just as bad
As mine is
You're the same as me
But when it comes to love
You're just as blinded
Baby please come back
It wasn't you
Baby it was me
Maybe our relationship
Isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens
When a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is
I love you too much
To walk away though
Come inside
Pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity
In my voice when I talk
Told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed
I'll aim my fist
At the dry wall
Next time
There will be no next time
I apologize
Even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games
I just want her back
I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to fucking leave again
I'mma tie her to the bed
And set the house on fire

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

The lyrics are powerful, no? In the end, he says it best. I know I'm a liar. She does too. And still, at the end of the video, you see that they are still together. He says all of the classic abusive stuff. It was you. No, it was me. I apologize. I can't live without you. I am sincere. Then he threatens. Then he says the next time I get mad I will hit the wall. Then he says there will be no next time. Then he says that he knows he's a liar. And he tops it all of by saying if she ever tries to leave again he'll kill her. In other words, this crazy relationship has gotten so crazy, that he really has lost his mind.

Not all abusive relationships are women walking around on eggshells. Some are like what you saw right here. She is abusive, too. She is probably on drugs and is an alcoholic (not Megan Fox, but the woman in the video). She doesn't realize the fire she is playing with could get her killed. So, she fights with him, spits at him, slaps him, goes out and plays pool with other guys to either purposely (or not) make him jealous. Even though she gets the raw end of the deal each time they go round, she still goes. Eventually, he will go too far, and she will want to leave, and that is when there will be trouble. She's tried to leave twice in this video. Once out the window and once out the front door. She will very likely end up dead at this man's hands.

Do you feel less sorry for her because she fought back or egged him on (however you see it)? Let's say because the abuse ran both ways? The only difference is she was always in the weaker position. Does that make her more or less of a victim if she ends up in the burning bed? Or would it be more of a tragedy if she never fought back, didn't go to the bars, and just tried to escape and got caught? Is one situation more tragic than the other? Does one situation make him more guilty? Less guilty? Or does tying a woman to a bed and burning her alive just make you a monster no matter how many times she spit at you? The last question was rhetorical. I am not really looking for an answer on that one.

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  1. OMG, are we twins because I was just going to blog about Eminem! I think this song is amazing and he is sooo talented. I swore I was the only one that liked him!

    When it comes down to it, it's like I tell my toddler, "Hitting is NOT okay!"

  2. I have been listening to this song on repeat for the past two weeks. It's freaking awesome.

    Two more important things:

    4) Megan Fox donated her video appearance fee to an abused women's shelter. Which kinda makes me like her now, dammit.

    5) I'll remind everyone that Rihanna was also in a very public abusive relationship with that f@$#ker Chris Brown where he slammed her head into a car window (and it wasn't the first time he'd hit her or she'd put up with it). She broke away from that relationship and gets to put her own voice in this song which I think is one reason why Eminem wanted her to be involved. It's amazing to hear both their voices singing about their points of view in such a volatile situation.

    And yes, the video is incredible.

  3. Nothing to do with this post, but I just wanted to let you know that I emailed you!

  4. I tellyou, he has changed. You can see it when he talks
    I had a moment where I didn't like him very well a few years back. When I heard 'im not afraid' I knew he had grown up.
    It's good to see.
    And yes, there are abusive relationships that run both ways. I spent 9 months watching one in an apartment complex. It's insane.

  5. Hi ya Robin!!

    As for the Over 40 List, you are permanently on the list for as long as you have the Over 40 button on your blog, but for the Follow Friday 40 and Over Blog Hop, you have to add your blog every Friday if you want to be on that list!

    Thanks for stopping by and for the compliment...:) You are very pretty too!!

  6. Oh, I made a blog entry about this video too, haha. I've got mixed feelings about it but I'm not going to write about it here because that would be basically writing my blog post again. :) So, as for Beethoven - he did hear the stuff he composed. Kind of. He had amazing ability called inner hearing (at least in my language!) and he basically could imagine all these tunes so well in his head that it was possible for him to compose. It would've been impossible if he'd been born deaf, naturally. As for Eminem - don't praise him that much yet for his honesty - have you heard his song "Kim"? It's about how he murders his wife. Whose name was really Kim. He didn't murder her irl, of course but this songs gives a nice insight into his honesty. Go and listen to it. The whole "Marshall Matters LP" is filled with his honest anger and, trust me, "KIM" will make you think twice about his motives for being honest. Angry Eminem sounds pretty awesome, it also sells really well.

  7. well, you can easily find this song on youtube. just type in 'eminem kim' and there's plenty of videos.


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