ONE WORD AND FIFTEEN MINUTES

Going to try the one word post again. It turned out pretty well last time, but I have no idea how it will work out today. The words you guys offered up are written down on pieces of paper in my black sequin-covered top hat. Yeah, I have one of those. I bought it for my one and only choreographed karaoke number, Hey Big Spender. Ah... the good old days. Thank you, Liza, for contributing five words or the selection would be very slim. Hopefully, this will spur you on to give me more words in your comments;-) I also pulled this clip so that you might get an idea of what you're in for with this exercise (don't forget to turn off the sound on my music player at the bottom of the page):




This is going to be fifteen minutes of me puking up whatever comes to mind on whatever word comes out of the hat. Okay, I am shuffling the words and pulling out a word now. The word is: discombobulate.

Good Lord. Well, that is appropriate. If there is anything that I have been this week it is that! It seems like this week has been very discombobulated. As in upside down, topsy turvy, everything gone awry. Sorta feels like I have been riding down the road on the wrong side with my head on the floor board and my feet driving the car. Yeah, like that. Barefoot, no less. And, I have not been wearing a seat belt either. I have also been cranky. Little Miss Cranky Pants at your service here.

They should give you a brochure when you file bankruptcy that it will very likely make you cranky. Not real fun to be around. Hmmm. Maybe they just assume that you are smart enough to anticipate that ahead of time. Yeah, probably. Well, I didn't. I thought it would be a big fat relief. That was dumb. I am still waiting on the relief to begin to flow. That relief can start happening at any second.

Turns out that my medication is really messing with me. Who knew? Yeah. Shocking. They starting messing with your meds and it might actually make you a little bit crazy. Turns out. Huh. Well, they have increased one of my meds (and still are) ~ they call it titrating it up until it hits max effectiveness for the fibromyalgia. Well, it is working for the fibro, which is good. The bad is that it is also an anti-depressant, and I was already taking an anti-depressant. Well... all of that anti-depressant has made me manic depressive. Yeah, they have turned me into a bipolar person.

Now, that is crazy right? Funny huh? When I am manic, like now, I think it is hilarious. They took a person with all kinds of medical problems and actually added one more. That is a laugh riot. The downside is when I come off this high, I feel suicidal. Yeah, I actually feel suicidal. I think about killing myself for several days before the mania kicks back in. Isn't that downright jovial? So, I am now titrating down on my other anti-depressant to try and get some of the anti-depressant out of my system. We shall see if that works. My mother says that if I kill myself with the pills when I am in the suicidal down phase, she will have them revive me somehow just so that she can kill me again. That is her way of saying that she loves me very much and that it would kill her if I killed me. Isn't that sweet? Barring that, she threatened to then kill her own self with my pills if I did myself in. Well, that sucks lemons. Who can kill themselves even at their most suicidal knowing that their mother is going to jump down the rabbit hole after them? I guess she was making her point. God bless her.

Those doctors. When they say they are practicing medicine. Believe them. They are not lying. They really are practicing medicine. On you. On me. And I am beginning to think that they really have no idea what they are doing. We are all just test subjects. Like rats. Rats in a maze. My time is almost up. It's a good thing because I think I smell some cheese. I'm outta here.


image found at www.photobucket.com

ONE WORD SUNDAY

Going to try something new and different today. I have no idea how it will work out. That is what makes it new and different. I took the words you guys offered up, wrote them down on pieces of paper, and them tossed them into my black sequin-covered top hat. Yeah, I have one of those. I bought it for my one and only choreographed karaoke number, Hey Big Spender. Ah... the good old days. Thank you, Liza, for contributing five words or the selection would be very slim. Yenta Mary, I googled "happify" and the online OED couldn't give me a definition for your word, so if it gets pulled that will be interesting. And very likely incorrect usage of the word will ensue. Since, the words were lacking, I pulled out my thesaurus, opened it up, pointed four times with my eyes closed, and produced four more words. Hopefully, this will spur you on to give me more words in your comments;-) I also pulled this clip so that you might get an idea of what you're in for with this exercise (don't forget to turn off the sound on my music player):




That was only thirty seconds. You watched it and thought "train wreck or totally cool." Either way, it could go like that. Or, I might actually latch onto an idea with your word, producing something cohesive with my fifteen minutes of writing time. Anyway, I am mixing up the words and pulling one out now. The words is....shop.

I know a lot of people really like to shop. I am not one of them. When I was a teenager I loved to shop. For clothes. For me. It was really all about me. Me and my clothes. I really wasn't interested in shopping for anyone else. In fact, when I would go shopping with my best friend in high school that about drove me nuts. I loved her to death but shopping with her was a nightmare. She is a Libra. It was constantly, "Should I buy the blue one or the pink one?" It was always a debate. It could go on like that forever. I was like get them both for crying out loud. Whatever. It was the Libra. The scales. "But I really like this one. But I also really like this one." Egads. Somebody shoot me. Usually I would just grab one and say, "Buy this one. We're leaving." I'm Aries. I don't have time for that crap. Just choose already. Yeah, probably not the nicest friend. But I did pick the one that looked the best. Moving on...

Shopping. I still don't like shopping. I really don't. Not even for me. I really don't like it. I went through a phase of catalog shopping. I got a gadzillion catalogs just to avoid shopping. The mall. The worst of all shopping. If I never went into another mall I would be a very happy person. My last mall trip was with H-Girl to a Build A Bear Birthday Party. Awful. Terrible. People everywhere. Where do all the people come from? They are all insane. It was around Christmas and the insanity was dripping off of people like sweat. Eeeks. Terrible place.

I do sort of like Kohls. And Target. But it has to be in and out. My mother says that I should spend time at Lowe's and Home Depot if I want to meet a man. I should just walk around and look lost. Well, I can master that easily enough. I have that look down pat. Lost in a home supply store. Done. Woman without a clue. Except I did sell maintenance supplies for ten years so I sort of have a clue. I just don't know exactly how to do the job, but I do know what a lot of the stuff is and the general concept of how to do the job. But I can act clueless really well.

My best case of clueless is at the air fill up for your tires. There I really am a woman without a clue. I cannot do that no matter how hard I try. I have that down to an art form. I can stand at an air pump at a gas station ~ any gas station ~ for a matter of minutes and look helpless enough and some man will help me. I mean he will put the air in my tires. Sometimes it is because he wants to use the air hose, but still it will happen. It is surefire and without fail. I have never in 42 years put air in my own tires and that is no lie. I am excellent at looking clueless at the air hose station and it is because I am truly without clue. I let more air out of the tire than in. I hate that air hose thing. It must radiate off of me. My disdain for the air hose filler.

What were we talking about? Shopping. Have you ever noticed how cold it is in the grocery stores? I hate that. In the summer I always forget to bring my jacket in the store and then I freeze the entire time I am in there. My teeth are chattering by the time I hit the checkout. I am sure my lips are blue. You would think it would just be the frozen foods area, but it is everywhere. Cold cold cold. In the winter it is so dang hot that I am sweating to death. What is the deal with that? I think that they are trying to make people sick. Just a thought.

I still have two more minutes and not really anything more to say on shopping. I still don't like it and avoid going whenever possible. Make that one minute because I became lazy and stared at the keyboard. So, do you honestly like to shop? If so, you are demented. I mean someone to be admired. Time's up. Yay!

**Well, that was fun. I didn't go back and do much fixing by way of grammar and such. Just let those run on sentences run on. It was part of the process. Let me know what you thought of the exercise and throw some more words my way. I will add them to the hat. It, once again, has a purpose. It is thrilled to no longer be tucked away in the corner on the top shelf of the guest room closet.