Love Is In The Air ~ Just Say Yes

Have you checked the date? It's February 14. Valentine's Day. It is FINALLY here. ::raucous whistle blowing::

Some of you have elaborate plans that I hope you share, simply because I have NO plans and I fully intend to live vicariously through you. You don't mind, right?
 
This is the LAST Love Is In The Air posting. I know that MANY of you are thinking, "Thank God. This is the worst series she has run on this blog. I was over it two weeks ago. Make that the second worst series. By far, the worst series was that debacle on fictional crushes. The only good thing about that atrocity was that it didn't last as long." (You can read about it here and here and here and here and here  and here if you missed it.) Here's the thing: I have noticed that you haven't been around. No reading. No commenting. And... I've missed you, too. Seriously. That wasn't my usual snarky sarcasm in play. I have missed you!

Some of you have faithfully clicked on most of these posts and commented (Hello Alex, you are the bomb) even if you didn't watch my clips.   Some of you have been Hit and Miss (Robyn, Dianne, Susan, Steven, Stephen, Julie, and that list goes on). I am now almost certain that Brianne P. and I are the only ones who will miss these posts when they're gone. Three cheers for my new blogging buddy Brianne! Sometimes we really do find one another at the BEST times.

Wherever you fall into this spectrum, I want to take this moment and tell you that I SEE YOU. I miss you when you're not here and I love it when you are. You are important to me. You are important. Period. Valentine's Day is about Romantic love, true, but I think it is also about just letting people know that you see them, hear them, appreciate them. Thank you for making my world a little bit brighter with your comments and posts.

Happy Valentine's Day friends!

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I am tagging all of these Love Is In The Air (even though the hop is over) and the following is a list of all the posts with links, so that you can watch any of your favorites that you missed.

Moonlighting 

Roswell - Michael and Maria

P.S. I Love You

The Gilmore Girls

Buffy/Angel and Firefly/Serenity

Grey's Anatomy (dedicated to Unicorn Bell)

Lois and Clark (Smallville) and Some Kind of Wonderful

When Harry Met Sally and The Way We Were
The Princess Bride and Serendipity 

Castle and Firefly 

Gossip Girl (Chuck and Blair) and 10 Things I Hate About You 
Veronica Mars and The Notebook 

Felicity 

Alias and Fringe 

Lost 

Ghost 
Grey's Anatomy 
What Dreams May Come and The Vampire Diaries 

The O.C. (Seth and Summer) and Crazy Stupid Love 

Everwood, The Vow, Jerry Maguire 

Private Practice 

Moonlight and He's Just Not That Into You

Back at the beginning of this thing I asked YOU to share what you think are the most romantic moments on the big and small screen. Thank you to everyone who has commented with your favorite romantic scenes. I have enjoyed watching them on YouTube. I no longer have time to post them in this series, but I *might* include them on the HERE'S TO YOU post;)

Speaking of comments, some of your comments crack me up! Once I ran all movies and several of you indicated you'd never seen those TV shows. Hahahaha. I realize I must be more clear about what I am posting, since I am doing both.

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This scene is from a TV Show. Actually, it is from one of my favorite TV shows. I am always astounded by the extreme lack of footage available on YouTube from this show. Ally McBeal is the show in question. I have written about this show on several occasions and the post Take Me To The Car Wash is actually one of my most-read posts of all time. Ironically, I think that this post is a better one.  That indicates that a significant portion of the rest of the world misses this show, too. Anyway, that show really hit its stride when they brought on Robert Downey, Jr. to play Larry Paul (Ally's love interest). And when RDJ relapsed with drugs and went to jail (and left the show, of course) it was devastating. Obviously for RDJ, but also for the show. Ally, as a character, never recovered and the show didn't recover either. Fortunatley, RDJ did recover and has gone on to bloom with his career.  But, getting back to Ally McBeal and Larry Paul...

Roll the footage...
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Doesn't Robert Downey, Jr. look so young???? He was such a cutie. That isn't to say he isn't a handsome man now. Okay. I am stopping. I have rambled enough.

Calista Flockhart (Ally McBeal) went on to play Kitty in the TV Show Brothers and Sisters. In that show, she fell for Senator Robert McCallister (Rob Lowe). I love this clip for two reasons.... one is that it is hilarious and the other is that it actually takes place on Valentine's Day!

Roll the footage...



I love the repartee between these two. Just makes me smile.

My last clip to close this day (and series) out was going to be from The Movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding. However, YouTube didn't have anything that I felt was "big" enough to be a finisher... even though that is an excellent romantic comedy... and you should watch it if you haven't.  Instead, I am leaving you with footage from This Movie...

Roll the footage...

I'll take that as a Yes.

H IS FOR HERO

You have no idea how many ways I could go with this post.  I could ramble on about my love for Bonnie Tyler and the song.  I could tell you how awesome said song was in the movie Footloose, and how I can still picture in my mind's eye Kevin Bacon, as Ren McCormick, on that tractor with his shoelace caught in the pedal in a very scary game of Tractor Chicken.  All the while, this song was blaring in the background.  Man, I loved the Footloose soundtrack.  Heck, I loved the movie.  Knew I would love it as soon as the shoes went tapping across the screen at the movie theatre. 

Or, I could relate an obsession with superheroes that started when I was just a kid.  Show me a cartoon and it better have a superhero in it.  The Justice League was my favorite.  And I thought I would die when Lynda Carter played Wonder Woman in the 70s.  Die of spinning in circles, that is.  I really thought I might turn into Supergirl if I spun around long enough, despite the fact that I wasn't an Amazon, and didn't grow up on Island full of women with special powers.  Go figure.

The thing is that all of these things did influence my way of thinking.  I bought into the Idea of All of it.  Even though in my world NONE of it was true.  I didn't actually have any good role models to base relationships.  My grandparents had been married forever, but my grandfather treated my grandmother horribly.  He was a verbal and emotional abuser to everyone in the family.  My other grandmother was divorced five times (as was her mother before her).  That was practically unheard of in those days!!!  My father's side of the family seemed to be looking to set some sort of record.  Not really sure.  They were the "we aren't taking any crap here crowd."  While my mom's side took nothing but crap.  And my parents rarely spoke to one another.  It was all very civil.  There were weeks that they could speak to one another and say nothing more other than, "What's for dinner?" or "Pass the salt."  And I am not joking.  So, I had abuse on one side.  We don't take no crap, we just divorce your ass on the other (pardon my language, but it does get that way sometimes here).  And the happy medium was total shutdown: the way to get along is not speaking.  Total non-communication.  And just for kicks and giggles, my dad was a social worker.  He helped OTHER PEOPLE sort through their problems.  I never got that one since my parents' solution was NOT talking.

So... it isn't surprising that my first boyfriend had verbally abusive tendencies.  Before that, he inflicted other sorts of pain that I just kept coming back for... don't ask me why.  However, the first always explains the latter.  It took me seven years to leave that relationship.  Yeah, that is a head scratcher.  Then, it was almost seven years of what I call "Seinfeld dating."  Those dates were virtually one or two time dates.  Why?  Because the guy did something that annoyed me like eating his peas one at a time at dinner.  Yeah, like that.  Seinfeld dates.  I would just sit there thinking, "Can I spend the rest of my life like this watching this bonehead eating his peas one at time?  This is driving me bananas."  So, the answer was clearly no.  Did I ever explain why there was no second date?  No.  Just moved on...

And then I realized I was in my mid-30s and Robert Downey, Jr. got thrown into jail over drugs.  That caused the Ally and Larry relationship on Ally McBeal to go off the rails, and Ally never recovered.  Ally spun out completely, and so did I.  I know that sounds insane, but that is how that went down.  And the next yo-yo that asked me out and drove me insane with all his junkola... I continued to go out with him.  Previously, I would have ended it.  It made me Crazy.  I knew that he had more going on in the Minus Column than in the Positive Column, but I was 32.  30 freaking 2.  I wanted KIDS.  My.Clock.Is.Ticking.Like.This.

And all of that Holding Out For A Hero that I had been doing went right out Window.  Instead, I married my Grandfather.  Obviously, not my actual Grandfather, but someone just like him.  A verbal and emotional abuser.  Oh, the damage we weave when first we settle.  Yeah, I know I changed the saying. 

Did I know that he was going to be as bad as turned out to be?  No.  Did I think I could handle the situation?  Maybe even change him?  Yes.  Most importantly, were their signs as to the content of his character before the marriage?  Yes.  I would say more so after the engagement than when we were dating.  But, there was time to call it off.  I had alarm bells ringing in my head for months.  You can call those alarm bells, or that Inner Voice, or Your Gut, whatever you want.  Personally, I think it is God.  I believe that God talks to us every day if we only open our ears and listen.  And God tried for months before I said I DO to get me to rethink that position and say I DON'T. 

However, I was determined to take the class.  And my ex-husband was a very hard teacher.  It's just a shame I didn't get the entire lesson plan, because I had to take the class AGAIN with another teacher.  You will hear more about that when we get to the letter "W."  Life lessons are really hard (which is why they are called lessons and not good times). 

Listen to your Inner Voice.  Being alone with someone else is worse than being alone by yourself.  If you are in an abusive situation, get out now.  I eventually learned the power of "No."  That one took a long time.  Taking back your Personal Power is one of longest roads a person who has been abused (verbally, emotionally, and/or physically) will have to walk to get back to themselves.  However, it feels incredible.  And now, I truly am...  

image found on facebook... naturally.


Did you have good role models in your family to form healthy relationships?  Have you ever been in an abusive relationship of any kind?  If so, what did that relationship teach you about yourself?  Have you forgiven yourself for allowing yourself to go down that road?  Have you ever identified or even over-identified with a character on TV or in a movie?  Did your dating years ever feel like a TV show?  Did you ever settle for a wrong relationship simply because you were tired of looking?  Have you learned to listen to your Inner Voice?  Have you ever gone through a process of taking back your Personal Power?  How did that feel?

DAY 24: JUST MAKING IT UP AS I GO ALONG

As promised, I took a look yesterday at today's letter topic. I was less than thrilled when I saw that it was the person who gave you your favorite memory. I seriously began to question if the person who made up this list was 16 years old. Seriously? The person who gave you your favorite memory? I would have had a difficult time with this one at 16. I can't even see 16 in my rear view. In fact, should I be spontaneously catapulted back to the age of 16, it would be disaster. Thinking beyond everything I have forgotten about higher math, I would have no clue about my locker combination, and I don't need any more challenges.

Therefore, I was still stymied about this post when I was in The Think Tank (aka the shower) where I do my best thinking. I began the mental review of my life, and was affirming everything I already thought about this post idea (it's really dumb), because most of my closest friends have been talked about, or had letters written to them. All of my major relationships have been covered. They had their good and bad points. Okay, some of them just had bad points disguised as good points, but it took a while to figure that out. And then it hit me like a bolt of lightning. Ally McBeal meets The Seinfeld Years. That is what I call that bleak period from 1995-2001. It would have and should have been longer if I had said "no" when my ex-husband asked me out. But, alas, it isn't and wasn't.

How does this end up being my favorite memory? It doesn't , really. It just gives me something new to write about. And I loved Ally McBeal. That is a favorite memory. I also really liked Seinfeld. So, it counts, too. Let's trek back to my thinking process in the shower when it hit me that this is where this letter should go....

Well, then there was that time after I broke up with My First Love that I became infatuated with country line dancing. It was a phase. I go through phases. I loved it. I went practically every night. I became really good at it. I never drank alcohol, because the key to the dancing is remembering the steps. What made me good at it is that I have an excellent memory. Well, I had an excellent memory pre-migraine. Anyway, I made lots of line dance friends and we would all sit together. There was this guy who kept coming over and talking to me. Kept asking for my number and I wouldn't give it to him. One night he tells me that he has figured out why I won't give him my number; it is because I am running from the IRS, because I am dodging paying child support. I couldn't quit laughing. I told him he was wrong. He asked for my number again. I wouldn't give it. He was convinced I was a mom who'd ditched her kid(s) and was on the lamb from the IRS. That is why I call them The Seinfeld Years.


When Ally McBeal came on, I was hooked. It was like looking at my life on the TV. I know that it wasn't the same. I was now in commission sales. She was a lawyer. Her First Love broke up with her. I broke up with mine. She had to work next to hers. Mine was in another state. The thing in common was that we both had this "plan" for our lives and it wasn't happening. Instead we were living The Seinfeld Years. We ended up on screwy dates with bizarre people when we finally would go out with someone. She said and thought the things I thought. I didn't have hallucinations, but I felt all of the feelings.

And then the *magic* happened. Larry Paul arrived and we both could breathe again. (That is Robert Downey, Jr. for the non-Ally watchers.) I know that it is crazy, but I thought that if someone with as many issues as Ally (and me) can find someone who gets her and it works out, then all is not lost. There is hope here. Maybe The Seinfeld Years are coming to an end. Maybe the years of going out with someone and having them say things like this, "The guy behind us stopped in time. But I waited until the last possible minute to hit my breaks so that he might hit us. Had that happened, you should say that your neck hurts even if it doesn't. If you don't say your neck hurts at the scene, you can't sue him later." WTF??? Obviously, first and last date... the dating pool is terrible, peeps.

So, yeah, Larry Paul gave me hope. It was like pouring oxygen into a room that had been really flooded with too much carbon monoxide for way too long. And then he got arrested for drugs. Robert Downey, Jr. Not Larry Paul. However, that prevented Larry Paul from staying on the show. The courts were nice enough to allow the show to give him a chance to make a storyline exit. Not a good storyline exit. It was a heartbreaking, painful, and wrenching storyline exit. Ally never recovered from that devastation. Me either. They brought on Bon Jovi to try and revive her and she was like meh. I didn't get Bon Jovi. Ironically, though, that was my ex-husband's first attempt to get me to go out with him. He asked me to a Bon Jovi concert. I already had plans. I had forgotten that until just now. He asked me to see Bon Jovi and I was meh.

So, I suppose in a twisted sort of way Ally & Larry gave me some of my favorite memories, because what they gave me was hope. I was living The Seinfeld Years. Every date I went on was one epic disaster after another. Every guy I met was bizarro strange. I began to feel like a magnet that attracted the crazies and oddballs. I watched Ally do the same thing for years until she finally got a Great Guy. That was huge. I was beginning to think that they were all married, gay, or my parents' age.

If there is any wisdom to be had from this post, it is this: don't give up and settle. Hold out for that person who makes you happy, smile, shares common interests, someone you love and respect, someone who shares the same values. These things are important. That is how you will get the best memories for yourself. I am counting on the fact that MY best memories are still to come!

Here is some Ally and Larry Paul action:





image found at www.photobucket.com

TAKE ME TO THE CAR WASH

You are going to be thrilled to discover that this is another Random Post from me. This one might be even more random than most. I can actually feel your eyes glazing over. Scary. The problem is too many topics rolling around in my brain. Of course, that is usually the case with these random posts. If I could settle on one thing it wouldn't be random.

I started reading THE OUTSIDERS today. I can't believe how much I forgot. The feeling I remembered, but most of the actual plot, I forgot. I am about halfway through.


I had a really terrible migraine yesterday that kept me in bed most of the day. I kinda sorta dozed. I thought a lot about my celebrity crush who shall go unnamed. I haven't had a celebrity crush since I was teenager. Fictional crushes. All of the time. Pretty much any book I am reading, there is some sort of crush going on at least until the book ends. Characters in movies, TV shows, etc. But not the actual person. It's the character. For instance, I crushed on Angel for ten years. And now I have a crush on Sealy Booth. Yes, they are both played by David Boreanz, but my God, could they be more different? No way. And the crush pretty much lasts the duration of the show and then I forgot them until next week. Why is this? Well, because Clark Kent, Dean Winchester, McSteamy, McDreamy, and Alex Karev are all taking up space in my brain in between now and then. I think you get where I am going with this. They all get their hour in the sun and then lights off until next week.

So, it was me, my migraine, and my celeb crush. You know what I discovered? My fantasy life sucks. Do you remember that scene in WHEN HARRY MET SALLY, and Harry and Sally are discussing fantasies? And he asks if she has them and she admits she does, but then says the only thing that distinguishes one from another is what she's wearing. It's her outfits. Yeah, mine were kinda like that. I think it's why I kept falling asleep. My fantasies were boring me. Well, it could have been the medication and the migraine. But still...

I am fairly certain that I have not confessed on here my personal connection to Ally McBeal. I felt like that was the show that "got me." Ally and I were the same. For the most part. In the ways that counted. I didn't have hallucinations, I was never a lawyer, I didn't have to work with my first love (and his wife), but we felt the same way about things. In other words, we were financially independent women whose lives were one dating disaster after another. She just had more sex and she said what she thought. I just thought it. So, I related to her in a fairly major way. Getting back to yesterday...

Anyway, after I got up last night all groggy and really annoyed. And still migrainey. I took a shower. For those of you not in the know, it is also called The Think Tank. While I was in The Think Tank I remembered the season opener (at the time I couldn't recall if it was 2 or 3) of Ally McBeal when she comes into the office all wet over the weekend. Turns out she went through a car wash. The kind where you are supposed to stay inside the vehicle. Well... there was this really hot guy in the car wash giving her the come hither look, so she got out of the car and they had sex in the car wash. She never knew his name but she looked really.really.really.happy. Of course, that didn't last. She ended up taking this case for some woman and won it. Woman was so happy that she asked Ally to be a bridesmaid. Ally is walking down the aisle and guess who the groom is? You can see this coming now, right? Car wash guy. Of course, Ally speaks up at the point where you can stop the wedding and it all goes down the tube for the bride and groom.

One would think, that would be the end of that. It was either the next episode, or a few later, they reappear. The car wash guy shows up at Ally's office asking her to try and convince the bride that it meant nothing (or something like that). Well, they end up having sex again in her office. Jeez. This time, Ally is the one saying let's keep this on the down low. In the end, Car Wash Guy and Her Client got married and Ally attended the wedding, but not as a bridesmaid. However, the best part of the show was the end ~ and I cannot find it on the Internet anywhere ~ which stuns me. Of course, I can't remember it exactly. However, it is total Ally. She and Renee and Whipper are talking about this crazy wedding and Ally's involvement with Car Wash Guy. They know that she slept with him twice. And Ally says something like, "After thinking about this for a while I have decided that he wasn't so fantastic in bed after all." Renee and Whipper just stop and stare at her like she's nuts b/c Ally has gone on and on about what great sex this was. Ally continues, "I have decided that it was me. I am amazing in bed and he, you know, kept up."


On the positive side, I think I have completely let go of the man formerly known as Right Guy. Since he clearly is not Right Guy, his handle will have to change. I am thinking Mr. Electric or Speed of Sound. You can cast your votes on that one. How did this happen? I implemented my plan like I would for forgiveness. I just had a strong desire to let him go, and I woke up one day and realized that it had happened. It feels good.

As for me and my fantasy life, I think I just have to use the aforementioned above plan and see what happens. I hope I don't catch on fire. ;-)Laters peeps.


all images found at www.photobucket.com

JUST CALL ME ALLY

The newest facebook trend is changing your profile picture to reflect the fictional character with whom you most identify. It would have been easier had they said "admire," but that wasn't the case, it was identify. With admire an entire slew of fictional characters would have been vying for the honor. I would have been hard pressed to choose between a literary, TV, or character from the silver screen. Who wouldn't want to be Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Wonder Woman, Elektra, Veronica Mars, Lois Lane, or either one of The Gilmore Girls ? But did I really identify with any of them? Nope.

I already knew that the contest was going to come down to Ally McBeal and Meredith Grey. I also knew who would win. Ally and I went through our late 20s/early 30s together. Even though we didn't share the same career (I wasn't a lawyer), we shared a belief that women could have it all. Ally was an optimist in the face of pretty lousy odds. Single women don't have it easy. And it only gets worse the older you get. I think that I identified a little too much with Ally, to tell the truth. Every time she went down in flames (and I am talking the really serious hits to the heart) a little piece of me went with her. It was so bad that when Robert Downey, Jr. left the show (and Ally) because he was jailed for his drug problem I was more than a little angry with him. Ally never recovered from that relationship and neither did I. And the show took the hit, too. It was like being on the Titanic, figuratively.

Ally gave up on men and left Boston after flirting a bit with Bon Jovi. I gave up on men and got married, flirting with disaster. It was like being on the Titanic, literally.