Battle of the Bands Results AND Monday Bullets (aka The Dirt)

First up, Battle of the Band Results. I've got my theories, but this was the least voted battled I've posted in a while. Don't know if you just didn't care for the contenders, the battle was overlooked in our never-ending quest to Get Things Done, or what... BUT, for a Brief Moment this was a very tight battle between Sir Mix A Lot and Richard Cheese. And then it wasn't. (BTW, the song was Baby Got Back) and I think both versions are hilarious and iconic in their own ways. In the end, Sir Mix A Lot ran away with it. Final tally:

Sir Mix A Lot: 11

Richard Cheese: 7

Anyone else notice that if you reverse them you get 7-11? There was a day when I loved 7-11 (as in the convenience store). Let's all say Big Gulp, because I know you want to. As for me and my vote, I'm sincerely torn in this battle. I think the original by SMA is hilarious. If you haven't seen a group of skinny white chicks karaoke this song, you haven't laughed nearly as hard as I have. Funny, funny stuff. On the other hand, the arrangement by Richard Cheese also seriously tickles my funny bone. I guess I 'll vote with the majority on this one for Sir Mix A Lot (my vote doesn't count for anything anyway), but it was a tough call for me.

In other news...

• Thank you, Bryan, for pointing out in my comments on the last post that if I were a terrible or "wanna be" writer he wouldn't bother CPing for me. Ironically, that little gem infused me with some much needed inspiration to tackle my WiP again.
• However, I think there is something to be said for taking a break from your novel when you're in the very unproductive state of writing and deleting. Maybe that is a good time for thinking. Or reading a book by someone else. Or both.
• I just finished Paper Towns by John Green. I'm not sure I can continue to read his books. I'm consistently awed and amazed by how good he is. I then go a through a period of self loathing, wherein I can never write anything even close to that good. Followed by a period of telling myself that we all write differently and no matter what "I will never be John Green" and "the world doesn't need two John Greens anyway."
• My blogging has just sucked. My blog reading has sucked. I wish I could explain this in a satisfactory way. Alas, I cannot.
• I'm strongly considering going back to camp this summer. It sounds innocuous and not a bit scary, right? Wrong. This is a camp I grew up at. Loved. Haven't been to since 1992. It terrifies me on so many levels that I'm not sure I can even list them all. I wanted to go back about five years ago, but didn't because of my migraines. I'm still very worried that the pace of camp will be too much for me and that my migraines will flare up and I will be DOWN. I also fear that it won't be the same magical place I remember. Heck, I know it's changed. I've been to their website. It's changed. Yet, it's still the same. If that makes any sense at all.
• So, I've been dreaming about camp (literally and figuratively), thinking about camp, and trying to work up a strategy to 1) get through camp, while 2) loving going through camp. I'll keep you posted on this one. If I do go, it will mean three weeks this summer of no cell phone, no computer, no internet, no TV, no nothing. Me. Nature. God. Kids. Fun. That's it. It sounds freakin' wonderful, doesn't it????
• I wanted C-Man and H-Girl to go to camp. For one week. They couldn't live without their cell phones that long. Sigh. I wanted to say, but didn't, that they both say they believe in God and Jesus, but they weren't willing to give up their phones. Yet Jesus gave up his life. However, if it takes guilt to get them there, I'm not willing to do it. Jesus wasn't guilted into dying for us. It was a gift. You can either accept it or not. Simple as that. However, it made me think about the things I've been (and not been) willing to give up in my own life. Which makes it tough to throw any stones at anyone else.
• However, the disappointment remains that they will never have the great life-changing camp experience I had. Not because they couldn't have it, but they didn't want it. 
• Last, but certainly not least, we are about to find out who is right about the man in my mother's life. Yes, I'm talking about the one she's been emailing with for the last six months or so. The one I'm sure is a scammer and she's sure is about to be her next husband. He's FINALLY saying he's leaving Australia (where he's been "trapped" by various and sundry issues that I only have vague notions regarding, because I wanted to stay out of that loop). Yesterday she tell me his flight is booked and he'll be here Wednesday night. This morning, she tells me that he said he went to pick up his boarding pass at the airline and was told that me might have some taxes to pay in order to leave. I was like "That is the biggest pile of bologna (thank you Oscar Meyer, or I'd never remember how to spell that word!) I've ever heard." Mom seemed to see the sense in my statement, but still has faith in the dude. Whatever. I'll eat a paper plate if he shows up. My money is on him needing money (from her) to "leave" the country.
• Alas, as you can see, there is disappointment aplenty to be had here. At our meals we pass the fried chicken and the disappointment. You don't get one without the other.

And that is the all the news that is fit (and unfit) to print.

Tuesday With Bullets

When I don't have a specific thing I want to talk about, I used to employ the bullet point method. That way I covered a fair amount of ground without elaborating too long on any one thing. After staring at this screen for half an hour and not coming up with a "topic" the bullet point idea looks pretty darn good.

Here we go...

• On Saturday I planted my vegetables in our newly created garden space. 
• None of my vegetables grown from seed were among those planted.
• I killed all of the cucumbers when I transplanted them to larger pots. Adios. And my tomato seeds should have been planted back at the end of December, but I didn't get started on my in-house project until the end of January. So, the tomatoes at Lowe's were much sturdier than my poor plants. 
• The good news: I know now that Florida has three planting seasons. Spring. Summer. Fall.
• I plan to plant my tomatoes grown from seed for the Summer planting... assuming I don't kill them when I transplant them.
• I also planted two tomato plants in Topsy Turvy upside down planters.
• Last year, I planted too late for spring (April) and too early for summer. End result: all of my cucumber plants died. No tomatoes, either. By fall, I finally got some peppers.
• In other words, if we had to rely on my garden, my mom and I would be dead right now.
• I am hoping for better results this year.
• I am, once again, godawful sore from my heroic planting efforts.
• And yesterday I woke up with a migraine from hell. It lasted all day, all night, and I still have it now. Given the fact that it started raining during the night (Sunday). I think that the barometer may assume some blame here. The weather is supposed to clear this evening. I hope that my migraine does, too. You know... back to tolerable.
• My mom met a man using the Christian mingle website. And when I say "met" I mean that he lives 6 hours away, so they talk all the time on the phone or IM. On the one hand, he sounds like a very nice man and I'm happy for her. On the other hand, I am worried that when they meet in person, it will all go Blah. Anyone else have dating stories from friends, family, or your own experience of meeting someone through a dating website?
• I try not to be the "wet blanket," but my relationship meter is set on Extreme Caution. I suppose that hasn't been conducive to actually having one. Hmm.
• A friend from church and I are planning to go out to lunch on Friday and maybe see a movie. So, after church I said, "Oh, the new Captain America might be out." High excitement on my part. She looked blank. I expanded, "You know, Captain America from The Avengers." She said, "I didn't see it." Say what???? I then said, "Have you seen either of the Thor movies or Iron Man?" She said, "No." Hunh. I changed tack. "Did you watch the Veronica Mars TV show when it was on? The movie is out in the theatre now." This is a HUGE DEAL for me. I can't wait to see this movie. She said, "No." Hunh. She then said, "I mostly like comedies or romance movies." Well, I like those, too. I can't think of any that are playing right now that I want to see. I suggested seeing A Winter's Tale a month ago, and she agreed, but it just didn't happen. So... this will be interesting.
•  I set out to read my finished rough draft start to finish on Saturday. I couldn't get past Chapter One. It was awful. Terrible. The worst. So, after making all sorts of notes and marks and slashes, I reworked it on the computer. The new version is Chapter One Take Three. 
• On the one hand, I was thrilled that it was terrible, because that meant my writing improved. On the other hand, I couldn't help wondering how long I was going to slog through this thing before I began to think, "Okay now, this is actually better." If Chapter One is any indication, it could be a long time.

And that is the fluff and bother that is going on here. What's been happening in your world?

Hey You, Get Off Of My Cloud

I woke up this morning and thought, "Oh dear, I should post a blog today."

Okay, truth time.... I thought about my blog after I shook off this horrible dream I had.

I am still reading the Unlearn Your Pain book and going to therapy. Turns out that there is a lot of crap that I simply internalized. Now, all of it (most of it? some of it? plenty of it?) is dragged out in the open so that I can look at it. Yikes. It is not pretty.

I thought I already tapped out this bad junior high school experience with a teacher. Apparently not. I woke up reliving that experience and then yelling at him about how teachers aren't supposed to bully kids. We got enough bullying from our classmates. And on and on and on. It was ugly. My head pounded with a horrible migraine. You just can't tell me that pain isn't thoughts. It is thoughts. On the plus side, I think it was cathartic, to a degree, to tell him (okay, scream at him) how I really felt about the whole thing. But, it was adult me doing the screaming. Would it have been more healing if it had been kid me? I don't know. The adult in me already knows it was wrong. Bad. Horrible. No teacher should act this way. But, the kid I was didn't SAY anything. Hmm. I guess this is a conversation for the therapist the next time we meet.

Anyway, I didn't really want to blog about my therapy... even though it is eating a lot of my mental and physical energy.

On an unrelated note, I finally finished my rough draft. I know that it needs SO MUCH WORK. But still. It is done. I have something to edit. I can revise something that already exists. I spent all day Sunday walking around and patting myself on the back. It is good to appreciate each accomplishment. 

On another unrelated note... or maybe related to the initial topic of what to blog about... Tara Tyler at Tara Tyler Talks gave me the Liebster Award. I received this award in the past, BUT I stopped keeping up with awards in my sidebar (and am thinking of eliminating them entirely to clean up said sidebar). I lacked material for today, so I decided to answer the questions. I am supposed to thank the person who bestowed the award on me (Thanks Tara!), answer her 10 questions, create 10 questions and pass it on. I am fudging on the last part, but I'm a rebel!

These are Tara's questions:

1) What was your favorite subject in school?
English.

2) Do you believe in love at first sight? (do your characters?)
I believe in Like At First Sight. Sometimes that like leads to love. I believe in meeting someone and feeling like you've known them forever. It has happened to me a handful times in this lifetime. Those connections are very special, whether they turn out to be good friends or SOs.

3) What genre do you write and why?
I write what most would call women's fiction (or just fiction since I have guy reading it who likes it....) with supernatural, mysterious, and romantic elements. Is that a genre???? I chose it because I enjoy reading it. I am currently reading a lot of YA so that I can write it somewhere down the road. I think you have to read A LOT within a genre before you understand it well enough to write it.

4) What advice would you give new writers?
I am a new writer. What advice do you want to give ME????

5) How long have you been blogging and what made you start?
2010. I was so sick in 2010. Migraines took over my life and I felt like I was contributing NOTHING to the world. Blogging was the vehicle I saw to better myself. It started out as the place for self expression to try and understand how I'd landed at this terrible place. It turned into a chronicle of the journey. Now, it's a mish mash of everything.

6) Morning, afternoon, or evening writer?
I tend to read and post blogs in the morning. Then I write. I like to relax in the evenings. Of course, all of that could change soon...

7) What's the hardest part about writing for you?
Do I have to pick JUST ONE thing? Frankly, it is all hard.

8) What movie would you like to be an extra in?
I spent ten minutes thinking about this and have come up with nothing. However, I would have liked to have been an extra for the TV show Moonlighting. I loved that show. Or maybe M*A*S*H. That one was great, too.

9) If you could go anywhere or any when for research, where/when would you go?
Scotland. I find that country fascinating. Pick a time. If I could time travel, I would leap through the centuries to see it all.

10) Did you always want to be a writer?
Yes and no. I always loved writing. Actually, that isn't true. I am like Dorothy Parker. At least, I think it was Dorothy Parker. Anyway, someone said, "I hate writing. I love having written." It's always been like that.

I am going to break the rules and NOT hand this out to specific people. If you are lacking blogging material and want to take a crack at the following ten questions, I would love to read your answers. If not, well that's fine, too:)

These are my questions:

1) Have you ever met someone famous?
2) What concert would you pay a "ridiculous" amount of money to see? The person or band can be dead or alive.
3) What personality trait do you like best about yourself?
4) If you could meet a character in a book, who would you choose?
5) If you won the lottery, how would you spend the money?
6) Do you believe that there is such a thing as "having it all"?
7) Have you ever had a paranormal experience of any kind?
8) What is the most important trait for a person to have in order to achieve success in their life? Job? Relationships? (It can be one trait that ties them all together or separate ones...)
9)  What is holding you back from achieving your dreams?
10) What is your favorite time of day?


Well, this post turned out rather long for someone who had no idea what they would write when the woke up.

Have you ever experienced physical pain from things that happened to you in the past or present? Do you understand the idea that pain is thoughts? Do you celebrate your large and small accomplishments? If you want the award, run with it and make a blog post. If you want to just take a stab at all or some of the questions here... well, I want to read it.

Where Are My Keys?

I see from your comments that many of you skipped on over to Unicorn Bell to check out the kissing scenes.  I told you in my last post that I submitted one of them.  For the curious, mine was #4 Out of Touch.  My novel is actually a Paranormal Mystery/Romance.  That was a bit of the romance.  All submissions won a copy of C.D. Coffet's novel Wilder Mage.  This week Unicorn Bell is critiquing 1,500 word submissions.  Yep.  I submitted again.  However this goes down it will be illuminating.  In other words, I need all of the help I can get!

I just posted a blog bit about Vampires, Zombies, Superheroes, and all things Supernatural over on my TV blog, TV Junction Function.  If you are into that sort of thing you may want to add your two cents.

In two days the next Battle of the Bands will be taking place.  I hope to see you here with your ears on and ready to vote!

No big news here.  I am about to start a gardening project despite the fact that my gardening experience borders on nil.  I figure there is no time like the present to learn.  Maybe I will post a picture when it is finished...

Remember that bridge I told you about that was hit by the large ship and is out of order?  Well, it's still out of order and making traffic miserable.

Just for the heck of it, we went to a car tent sale a few days ago.  I ended up test driving a few things.  I haven't bought a vehicle in a long time.  Honestly, we don't need another car yet.  But, I am hoping that soon we will.  Of course, we are looking for something used, compact, good gas mileage.  Blah blah blah.  As a former salesperson myself, it is always supremely interesting to watch another salesman at work.  I drove THREE vehicles and the guy was determined to sell me one of them.  I wasn't crazy about the price tag of any of them and I didn't immediately fall in love.  Yet, he was certain that I would buy.  I told him that I hadn't driven enough makes/models to know what I wanted and this was just investigation.  He asked me which of the three cars I liked best, so I told him.  He then used this analogy about keys.

Him: Have you ever misplaced your car keys?

Me: Yes.  (shakes head lost in the memory and frustration of said experience)

Him: Once you find them do you continue to look for them?

Me: Well, no.

He then hands me the keys of the "favorite" car.  ::light switch moment::  I laugh.  He is trying to sell me on the fact that I have found my "dream car" and don't need to keep looking.  It was pretty good IF I had actually found my dream car.  I hadn't.

However, I like the analogy.  It can be applied to many things other than buying a car.  Or buying anything.  Are there times in life when we have the answer but keep looking anyway?  Absolutely.  If we don't like the answer we are getting, we continue to prowl around seeking out another alternative.  I have done it to my detriment and to my well-being.  The key is knowing the difference.

On a side note, every so often I get a comment in a HERE'S TO YOU post about how great these posts are, but that no one ever posts anything for me... and that is wrong somehow.  To show you how my brain works, if I were to read this post on someone else's page, I would have gone looking for this and dedicated it to them in the HERE'S TO YOU post for next week:





Can you think of a time when you figuratively continued to "look for the key" when the answer was already yours?  Or a time when pressing on for another solution made the situation better? 

IWSG, BOTB, A Third Blog?, and Balance

Today is the first Wednesday of the month and that means it is time for an Insecure Writer's Support Group post. The link will take you directly to the group page.  There is a Linky List there for anyone who would like to participate to sign up.  This group is not just for published writers.  Nope. Anyone who is struggling with writing is invited to join.  Alex J. Cavanaugh founded the group a few years ago and it is now hundreds strong.  Yeah, that means that there are a TON of Insecure Writers out there.


As many of you know, I have been on vacation for the last two weeks.  We went to Las Vegas and then back to Augusta, GA, for a few days.  During that time I have contributed NADA to my WIP.  I returned home yesterday and all I had time for was to post my Battle of the Bands bout and vote on other people's battles on their blogs.  (If you missed that post, I really hope you will follow the link back and vote for your choice.  It is so much fun!!!)

It is safe to say that I am behind in Everything and my HERE'S TO YOU post is nonexistent.  And tomorrow is Thursday.... Yikes!

So, let me tell you about what I have been contemplating that is writing-related and get your input on THAT.

I currently have two blogs.  This one which I really like to use for non-writing things.  This blog was created with the intention of addressing things that I felt were relevant in my life.  I tend to believe that if it is relevant for me that it will also speak to YOUR human experience as well.  I really wasn't kidding when I subtitled it Blog Therapy.  My other blog, TV Junction Function, is all about things on TV.  Sometimes I post on current TV shows and other times I take a step back in time and look at things that have been cancelled.  If it was on TV (ever), it is possible that it may appear on that blog.

Since I have started writing (again), and following more blogs of writers, I now think that I just might need a THIRD blog.  Yep.  One that is strictly to promote other writers, acknowledge some of the great blogs or sites that I have found that help other writers, etc.  I suppose my question for you folks who ARE writers, is that a good idea?  Would you follow that blog?  Do you have multiple blogs that you use for entirely different purposes?  What has your experience been?

Most important... I don't want to be so consumed with blogging that my writing time dwindles down to nothing.  It is becoming very clear to me that I must establish a balance.  So, in addition to my question about the third blog, I am also willing to hear any strategies that have helped you to achieve Balance in your life.

Bring it on.

It's Not Always Clear In Here

Before I get started with my first contribution to the Insecure Writers Support Group, hosted by Alex J. Cavanaugh, I want to let you in on a little secret.  I have been following a wonderful writer since I started this blogging experience.  The first Wednesday of every month she would post something with the IWSG Logo.  Every month I went to her page expecting to see a sample of her WIP and every month I was disappointed.  Instead, she wrote about the process of her writing.  At the end of the post, she posted a link back to the IWSG and suggested that we see what other writers were doing.  Now, each month I thought to myself, "I don't want to read THEIR Work In Progress.  I want to read YOURS.  Every month I come to your page expecting to support you by giving you encouraging comments on your work and each month you write about your writing and then suggest I visit OTHER PEOPLE."  Mental head smack. 

It took me about a year to figure out that IWSG wasn't about supporting the writing, it was about sharing all of the stuff that goes on with the writing.  My friend wasn't doing it wrong as I had thought for so long.  Hahahaha.  As par for the course, I didn't understand the concept of the group.

I just started novel writing again.  I never finished my first one.  I didn't burn it or anything.  I am not sure that I will ever get back to it, but I decided to move on.  I vacillate between being frustrated with my writing and thrilled that I can put any sort of story together.  In my head I know that rough drafts are... rough.  The point is to get through them with the concept of the novel and then go back and polish it up.

I spend as much time thinking about this novel as I do writing it.  Some characters gel easily for me in terms of who they are, how they think, what they want.  Others are vague.  What helps you get a grasp on these sorts of characters?  More thinking time?  Or do you spend some time just writing and it comes out in a stream-of-consciousness-sort-of-flow?  This material is not necessarily writing that would be included in the novel, but gives you, as the writer, the sense of who they are.

I suppose this all comes back to being stuck and getting unstuck.  How do you unstick yourself when a character, scene, plot device, or any other aspect of your story is not moving for you?  What do you do?


Here is a link to the IWSG main page.  You can see a list of everyone who is participating in this event.  I hope that you will drop in and offer up some encouragement to some aspiring writers.  Lord knows we all need it!

K IS FOR KINDNESS

I know that many people blog simply because they enjoy writing, and this is one venue when others are clogged up, dried up, or feel like danger zones. Yeah, I am talking about those of us who really want to write that novel, but can't quite get a handle on it, so we blog in order to write something. At least that is how this whole thing started. I have discovered that there is a flipside to this blogging reality. And that, my blogging friends, is this: people in the real world are not very nice. There is a very real lack of kindness out there. Have you noticed?

If you have been blogging for any length of time, you may have met some people on here who are more friendly and kinder than anyone you actually know. It is comforting and discouraging, all at the same time. It is a relief to meet someone who is nice. It is horrible that they live in your computer.

I called a friend of mine who lives here on Christmas Eve, her birthday. Turned out not to be a good time. She said to call the next day because her family did everything on Christmas Eve. I called and got the machine. She promised that she would call me back. I left a message saying that I would be up until at least 10pm. Call anytime before then. Never heard back. That day or any day since. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I always was the one who called her. She never calls me. So, I am very undecided about what to do. So far, I am not calling again. Her son is good friends with my ex-husband. I called him (my ex, not her son) to talk about the kids this past weekend. Turns out he was at her house and it sounded like she was having a party. He also said he would call me back. Still waiting on that return phone call, too. There is definitely a part of me that is glad to not be at the top of my ex's priority list... However, common decency does dictate that I would like a call back within 48 hours. We are now well beyond that. And the fact that he made the guest list and I didn't on a party... well, that just sucks. No other word for that.

So today was my annual mammogram. Actually, my first ever. And it wasn't bad. Everyone should go if you are at that age. As in 40 or over. It was yet another dual lesson in kindness. After you get checked in, there is another small waiting room in the back. At a certain point, I knew that I was next. However, about four other women had come in. All of them got called before me and put into dressing rooms. At that time, the tech with my chart came in and saw what had happened. She became really angry because she knew what had happened. I had no idea, but I thought I was supposed to be next. She mumbled something about dressing rooms and said, "We're going to get you a gown and you can change in the room." And that is what she did.

As we got into the room with the machine, she handed me my gown. She told me that I was next in line, but the other techs were trying to beat me to the machine by getting their people into the dressing rooms first. She foiled their plan by taking the room with the machine and locking the door. Apparently, the unwritten rule is that if the person who is next is not "ready," then the following person on the list can supersede them. So, all the techs put their people in dressing rooms to see who could get undressed and into a gown first. It was like sharks in the water. It made my girl mad. Apparently, this was not a working environment where kindness reigned and co-workers looked out for one another. Where has all the kindness gone?

I was trying to explain this to my mom in the car while we were driving to the Sam's shopping complex. She had an exchange to make at Tractor Supply Company, and then we were making a fairly quick stop at Sam's Club. She never did quite grasp the situation. The idea that the co-workers were trying to jump each other in the line for the machines (there were two small plate, one large plate) was an alien concept to her. She simply couldn't wrap her brain around it. She is a "you do it the right way" person. Well, so am I. I would have had a tough time working there. Migraine city.

In the middle of all this, we were dealing with the interstate and merging into traffic. Some yo-yo was right on her tail and she got really upset about it. I was afraid we were going to have a repeat of what I call "the incident" from when I was in junior high. That would be the time some guy flipped off my mom in traffic, and it made her so mad that she rolled down her window, whipped out her middle finger, and shook it at him. She was screaming at the top of her voice, "To you too, buddy." I was holding a vanilla shake from McDonald's that I almost ended up wearing in my lap. That was as close as I had ever come to seeing my mom curse. Ever. My hands went limp and my whole body went into shock. I wasn't able to speak for nearly ten minutes. Like I said, we almost relived that again today. However, this time I was expecting it and I had no shake. A shake would have been nice, come to think of it.



image found at www.weheartit.com

ONE WORD AND 15 MINUTES

I visited a new blog today. That came out wrong. I visited a new-to-me blog. The blog has been around for some time. In fact, the reason I felt compelled to make the trip was that I kept seeing this fellow's witty comments on blogs that I was following. I always appreciate a comment with spark, so I finally took the plunge, or made the click. Whatever. Turns out he was just as tart and crafty with words on his own blog. Drats. Like I don't do enough blog reading. His blog today was supposed to be 15 minutes of noir writing (or something like that) just to flex his writing muscle. It was pretty long, really good, and I couldn't believe it only took 15 minutes. Turns out he spent an hour and a half on it. He surprised himself by how much he enjoyed writing it. Writers dig writing...love the process...the joy of writing.

Well, except for me. I like having written. That isn't completely true. There are those rare occasions when the synapses are rapidly firing that I know what I am writing is wicked awesome. In that particular moment of time/space, I love writing. The rest of the time, I motor through, edit, edit, edit, and love it when it's done.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand, which was this blog that I found....

It flipped my switch in another direction. Perhaps, I should use that 15 minute exercise on here sometimes. 15 minutes. One word. Everything that I can think about on that one topic and go. When the fifteen minutes is up, blog over. Well, I can go back and do spell check, but the writing part is finished.



Will it be the best writing I've ever done? Not likely. But that really isn't the point because it is an exercise. So, blogging buddies, bring on the words. I'll keep a list and each time I do the exercise I will ask for more. It will be like charades. I will write them on paper, fold them up, and draw them out of a hat, so it will be a mystery. Doesn't that sound like fun? Okay, it's dorky writer fun. Now, clap your hands like a seal. Gee. This is going to be super awesome freaking wonderful.

So, in the comments type at least one word. You guys are *the best.*

START ME UP

I think it must be the month of June. In my mind, it is the first month of summer. When I was a kid, school didn't let out until June. Now, kids get out in May, but when I was in school, we usually didn't get released from our parochial prison until June. So, I am thinking that it is June that is at work here.



What am I going on about? I am talking about the desire to kick back and laze around for three months. It was a pattern that you adjusted to for twelve years (and maybe more, depending upon how long you matriculated through the system). There was that initial rush when you breathed in freedom when they threw open the doors on that last day of school, and you knew that the next three months of nothing were yours for the taking. Nothing ran the gamut of playing with your friends, to splashing around in the pool, to family vacations, or weeks at camp. Nothing was fun. Nothing was sleeping in until noon.

It turns out that we long for that lifestyle even after it passes us by. So, June rolls around and subconsciously we long to do nothing once more. For three months. Instead, we write blogs about getting our butts into gear and getting back onto that diet. I read a riveting blog today about writing. It was from someone completely new to me. I was diverted there by another blogger who was also fairly new to me. She cut right to the chase. If you are a writer. You write. Every day. And stop using language that suggest that you are just playing at it. It was strong stuff. Basically, it was a real kick in the pants. I read another blog about a mommy who was going to get her act together and finally get that baby book done, even if she had to lock herself in the basement with every scribbling she could find on her kids' big moments!

I bet you're asking yourself what is going on at my house? Besides not sleeping in the middle of the night. Well, I have made tremendous progress on my novel and have broken through that writer's block on The End. I did suck it up and motored through it. I grappled with the fact that it would require some fairly major editing in the middle, but so it goes. This is the first novel I am actually going to complete start to finish. The fact that I made some mistakes... Well, big shock. The fact that it will need to be edited? Not surprising. Once I came to grips with that, mentally it got much easier. I settled into it and it began to flow again. So, I am back to it.

On other fronts.... I met with an attorney and I do qualify for a chapter 7 bankruptcy. Not exactly how I pictured my life going, but I need to reduce my bills for my dad, and that will be a huge help. The irony is that it comes to about $700/mo, but it is just more than he can afford on social security. My credit report was pulled to see if there were any "surprises." Nope. But I do have a credit score of 932. Can you imagine? I am filing for bankruptcy with a credit score of 932. Isn't that hilarious????? Life is full of irony.

One last thing.... the website that takes SSD cases is finally taking mine. They have a 98% success rate. They do it all. You don't have to fill out any forms. Nada. They handle all of the info with you by phone and fill out a lot of the paperwork by pulling your doctor records. They also file all of your claims. You just have to sign them. You also don't pay them unless they win your case. The thing is that most people don't win until the final claim, which requires hiring an attorney. It is the same pay percentage that these folks charge, and they are doing all of the work. It is a blessing. The biggest thing will just be getting the Medicaid, to get the health insurance, to get all of the doctor visits paid for, and all of the testing I need, etc. Anyway, I don't want to be on it forever. I just want it long enough to get better. So cross fingers, toes, send up prayers, and all the rest.


It might not look like much is going on here, but things are moving along. What is it like at your house? Do you need a kick in the tush or are you a busy bee already?

NOT ANOTHER RANDOM POST!

Okay peeps... did I just say peeps? I believe I did. And it isn't the first time. I used it once before a few days ago. When did this word creep into my vocabulary? These things scare me. Seriously. I have another random post day. I know I promised to distribute one of my awards today, but it occurred to me last night around 1am that weekends are not the best time for that sort of thing. I have noticed that people actually write less and live more on the weekends. Not sure what is up with that, but it is true. In fact, some Saturdays it is pretty bleak here in blogland. One of the only blogs I could count on was Chris's Saturday Snark and she is on vacation. I loved the Saturday Snark. Drats. I am going to go into a Snark deprivation. I suppose I could go into her blog and look at old ones. Moving on....

You might be wondering what I was doing up at 1am. Well, I have insomnia. Every night I go to bed at 11pm like clockwork. Then I lie in bed and toss and turn until about 1am. That is when I start to feel tired. Until then, my mind just has this internal chatter that I can't turn off. It is very annoying, in case you were wondering. Well, last night at about 1am things got interesting. I got the hiccups. Like my life wasn't already interesting enough. Hiccups. I started all of the traditional hiccup relievers, like holding your breath, when I remembered a suggestion that I got from a friend. A sure-fire cure. So I tried it. It worked. Now, I have your attention. I bet you are dying to know what it was. The only thing is it will make you look like an idiot. Of course, I was alone, so I didn't care. You ready? It requires that you talk to yourself. So that is what I did.


This is what I said: Okay. I dare you to hiccup again. Come on. Bring it. I bet you can't do it. Is that all you got? I am waiting. Still waiting. I am going to be dead before the next hiccup comes at this rate. This is freaking piss poor. How about I double dog dare ya? My goodness, this is the saddest case of hiccups that I have ever seen. I told you to bring it. Is this all you've got? I want to see some hiccups. This is pathetic.

It went on like that with variations for about five minutes. Not another hiccup. I even got up and paced the bedroom. I got nothing. I finally got back in bed. It was over. The case of the hiccups was officially closed.

On a more interesting note, I have been reading several blogs of late of fellow writers. I am learning so much. Simply writing well isn't enough. Sometimes you have to cut your teeth on four, five, six, seven novels before you hit the magic one that is the "idea." Sometimes it is finding the right agent. Mostly it is persistence. If you really love this thing called writing, and are willing to keep at it, the odds are that eventually you are going to nail it. Will it break your heart time and again before you get there? I am thinking that it just might. Will that make you a better writer? I am thinking that it just might. I guess my point is that I read fantastic writers right here EVERY DAY. I feel privileged to do so. Sometimes, one fantastic writer leads me to another. It is like this chain. That happened (again) today. It would happen more if I clicked on more links when I am on the pages of fantastic writers. Duh. Mental head smack. Skipping past me and my mental deficits and moving on to the writing deliciousness that I discovered...

While visiting one of my favorite reads BarMitzvahzilla (written by Linda Pressman), I clicked on one of her commenters, Debra L. Schubert, and discovered that Ms. Schubert has a lot (understatement) to offer as a writer. Whenever I visit a new blog, I read several posts to get a feel for what is going on. I am a picky adder to my google reader. Maybe I should call this the Saturday Snark, because that came out just a bit snarky, dontcha think? Anyway, as you know, I am not a big giveaway junkie. It really isn't my thing. However, this book looked pretty good. I read the interview with the author, and admit to being intrigued. So, I am posting a picture of the cover, and a link to Debra Schubert's page, so that you can check it out for yourself.

I WANT TO BE A ROCKSTAR

I have this really superb choral singing voice. I'm an alto, if you wanted to know. When I say choral singing voice, what I mean is that I am an excellent singer for a choir. I can harmonize and I blend. My voice doesn't have vibrato in it so that I stand out. This is wonderful news for a choir. Remember when I mentioned all that about wanting to major in music in college? Well, I still had these visions of me being Cher. That just wasn't going to happen. Cher stands out. Cher is a soloist. I can hold my own in a karaoke joint, which means people aren't going to throw things or run for the door like the place is on fire, but I'm not ever going to be Cher. I bet you're thinking that we covered this blog already with the hairbrush and curling iron. The thing is, I left out this cool graphic. See below. Isn't that awesome? I just wanted you know I always wanted to be a rockstar. Now we can move on.


I've also been thinking about what I wrote about my book writing a few days ago. Yeah, that conversation with my mom happened pretty much like I described it. But, here's the deal. Ever since my fingers started tapping on the keys, the book has been for me and no one else. What happened when mom and I had that conversation was this: pretty much everything in my life was derailing and I was having an anxiety attack. Have you ever had one of those? They don't happen unless pretty much everything blows up all at once. Well, they can happen to me if I'm having a bad migraine and am hit with a load of crap, but that wasn't the case. In this case, it was everything blowing up all at once. So, what I needed to do was start nailing things down one at a time. Basically, what that meant was gaining control over the stuff in my life one thing at a time. I started with my book. Yeah, I sounded nuts. And, I probably was a little nuts, but it was because it was the first thing I nailed down. Once I got that in place, it made it possible to start dealing with everything else. Unfortunately, some of the stuff was kinda out of my control. I just had to stop reacting to it. That is a toughie all by itself. Just stopping. Then I became proactive. I tell you what, though, it feels so much better to be proactive than reactive.

The other thing about me that is tough for people is this: the migraine. If you've never had one, you don't get it. Just like I don't get a lot of chronic pain that other people have. Or the weight loss journey that some of my fellow bloggers are on. I am encouraging them like crazy, but I don't get it like the other people who are also sharing that journey. The thing about my current migraine is this: it started in July 2009 and I don't know when it will end. I am living on pain pills. When I tell you that I keep track of pain pills on a notepad so that I don't OD, I am not joshing you. Imitrex, and drugs like that, only work at the start of a migraine, and mine started almost a year ago. There is not a chance of those drugs stopping it now. The last time I went through this, my migraine last four years. Four years. I want you to think about that and let it resonate in your head. It stopped when I moved to Florida and got on a drug and vitamin protocol and out of a stressful situation.

I know what you're thinking. Why aren't you back on the drug and vitamin protocol? I am. I am as destressed as I can be. It doesn't matter. The overwhelming allergic reaction that I had to the mattress/box spring nuked my immune system. I'm not whining and complaining and saying woe is me. I'm still hopeful. However, I think that the answer is time. My body needs me to keep doing what I'm doing and give it time to repair itself. In the meantime, I have a migraine all of the time and I deal. And I write. Sometimes I sing. I'm so glad I'm not a rockstar. It's so loud. I can't imagine what that would do to my migraine!

THE LAW OF ATTRACTION

When I was in the fourth grade I remember soliciting my teacher, Mrs. Noone, to be the delivery person for all of our valentines.  Each student had a bag with their name on it hanging at the front of the classroom for a week before the holiday and Mrs. Noone had announced that she would select someone to be the "mailman" at recess on Valentine's Day.  I really wanted to be the mailman.  I started out with what I thought were subtle hints, which I am sure they were not.  I do remember the last one, though.  I came up to her desk, not mentioning Valentine's Day at all, and told her I was fairly certain that I was going to grow up and be a mailman when I got older.  I really wanted to deliver those valentines!  You have got to be wondering why. I didn't want to mix them up or read them or pocket someone's valentines (in other words there was nothing nefarious going on here) and I would be giving up recess for this task.  So why did I want to do it?  I really wanted to be the person who got to deliver the love and joy.  That's it.  I could see myself doing the job as soon as she announced it in class and I HAD to be picked and that was all there was to it.

I got my outside sales job working for Rotanium products by the skin of my teeth.  Don Baggett was on the verge of hiring someone else when he got my name via referral.  He wasn't even willing to drive from Atlanta to Augusta to meet me.  We met somewhere in the middle in a hotel lobby for our interview.  It all was going really well until he asked me what my dream job was and without thinking I said wistfully, "I would love to be paid to write."  He gets this funny look on his face and says, "You do know this is a sales job," which snaps me back into reality and I nod and we move on.  The thing is I was really good at sales and I did really well with the rest of the interview and I suppose he saw my potential because he didn't hire that other person and it all worked out well, at least until it didn't.  But that had nothing to do with the job and everything to do with my personal choices.  Moving on....

Here we are in the present and I am still living in migraine hell and trying to figure out how in the world am I going to survive this????  A friend of mine reminded me of something that I already knew.  It's always funny when it works like that.  She says  figure out what you want and then use the law of attraction to make it work for you.  None of this is easy but all of it does work.  It took me a while to reconnect with the writing.  Sometimes you tamp a dream down so far it can be hard to find.  Once you find it, then you have to commit to it daily, which is where we are now.  I have to write something every day no matter what.  Short. Long.  Good.  Bad.  That explains the what I want part of the equation and the doing part.  I am still working on the how to get paid part.  (Hint: I believe I am falling down at step 3 ~ this will make sense soon.)

Some of you are going to get this right away.  Others of you won't.  Either way, it is okay.  All I ask is this:  I am sharing with you a personal belief system.  Personal belief systems are important because they have become a part of who we are.  When you take a hammer to someone's personal belief system, you become a bully.  So before you lift your hammer to mine, please think about that.  Even people with good intentions can do terrible damage.  Enough said.  The law of attraction says that you get what you think about ~ good or bad ~ so that means that whatever comes into your life, you brought.  Every thought is two thoughts, so be careful of how you think/pray.  When you ask, make sure you do it positively, because praying to not have something in your life is still focusing on what you don't want instead of what you do.  For instance, there is a big difference between praying for good health and praying to not be sick.  One focuses on good health and the other on sickness.  They are worlds apart from each other even though it seems like the prayers are the same. 

I feel like I have an impossible task.  I am trying to explain in a few paragraphs what took Esther and Jerry Hicks an entire book to map out.  The book, by the way, is called ASK AND IT IS GIVEN and I bought it on CD because I do better listening to this kind of thing repeatedly.  So, if we get what we think about and I understand that every thought has the potential to be two thoughts and I want to be paid to write, why isn't the money flowing in?  I am praying about this, aren't I?  Well, yes.  Is God listening?  Yes.  Where's the glitch?  Okay, here's the deal.  It's a three step process. 1) We ask. 2) God says yes. You heard me.  He says yes.  He always says yes.  I am getting to the why....3) We get when we are in vibrational alignment for that which we ask.  You are probably having trouble with vibrational alignment.  Let me try and put this another way.  Jesus asked people to have faith.  Let's use that word instead because you have a reference point for it and understand it.  You pray for something and have absolute faith it will come to you.  No doubts.  Seriously.  No doubts.  If you can do that, then it will come.  It has to come because you are in vibrational alignment to receive it.

You're probably wondering why I told you my fourth grade Valentines Day story.  I wanted to show you the law of attraction in action.  I had to have been really annoying to Mrs. Noone, but I saw myself as the mailman.  I had absolute faith that I would be the mailman.  I was the mailman.   You can buy ASK AND IT IS GIVEN by Esther and Jerry Hicks on CD or in book form at Amazon.com.  If you get the CD make sure to get Parts 1 and 2.  It will change your life.