Hey You, Get Off Of My Cloud

I woke up this morning and thought, "Oh dear, I should post a blog today."

Okay, truth time.... I thought about my blog after I shook off this horrible dream I had.

I am still reading the Unlearn Your Pain book and going to therapy. Turns out that there is a lot of crap that I simply internalized. Now, all of it (most of it? some of it? plenty of it?) is dragged out in the open so that I can look at it. Yikes. It is not pretty.

I thought I already tapped out this bad junior high school experience with a teacher. Apparently not. I woke up reliving that experience and then yelling at him about how teachers aren't supposed to bully kids. We got enough bullying from our classmates. And on and on and on. It was ugly. My head pounded with a horrible migraine. You just can't tell me that pain isn't thoughts. It is thoughts. On the plus side, I think it was cathartic, to a degree, to tell him (okay, scream at him) how I really felt about the whole thing. But, it was adult me doing the screaming. Would it have been more healing if it had been kid me? I don't know. The adult in me already knows it was wrong. Bad. Horrible. No teacher should act this way. But, the kid I was didn't SAY anything. Hmm. I guess this is a conversation for the therapist the next time we meet.

Anyway, I didn't really want to blog about my therapy... even though it is eating a lot of my mental and physical energy.

On an unrelated note, I finally finished my rough draft. I know that it needs SO MUCH WORK. But still. It is done. I have something to edit. I can revise something that already exists. I spent all day Sunday walking around and patting myself on the back. It is good to appreciate each accomplishment. 

On another unrelated note... or maybe related to the initial topic of what to blog about... Tara Tyler at Tara Tyler Talks gave me the Liebster Award. I received this award in the past, BUT I stopped keeping up with awards in my sidebar (and am thinking of eliminating them entirely to clean up said sidebar). I lacked material for today, so I decided to answer the questions. I am supposed to thank the person who bestowed the award on me (Thanks Tara!), answer her 10 questions, create 10 questions and pass it on. I am fudging on the last part, but I'm a rebel!

These are Tara's questions:

1) What was your favorite subject in school?
English.

2) Do you believe in love at first sight? (do your characters?)
I believe in Like At First Sight. Sometimes that like leads to love. I believe in meeting someone and feeling like you've known them forever. It has happened to me a handful times in this lifetime. Those connections are very special, whether they turn out to be good friends or SOs.

3) What genre do you write and why?
I write what most would call women's fiction (or just fiction since I have guy reading it who likes it....) with supernatural, mysterious, and romantic elements. Is that a genre???? I chose it because I enjoy reading it. I am currently reading a lot of YA so that I can write it somewhere down the road. I think you have to read A LOT within a genre before you understand it well enough to write it.

4) What advice would you give new writers?
I am a new writer. What advice do you want to give ME????

5) How long have you been blogging and what made you start?
2010. I was so sick in 2010. Migraines took over my life and I felt like I was contributing NOTHING to the world. Blogging was the vehicle I saw to better myself. It started out as the place for self expression to try and understand how I'd landed at this terrible place. It turned into a chronicle of the journey. Now, it's a mish mash of everything.

6) Morning, afternoon, or evening writer?
I tend to read and post blogs in the morning. Then I write. I like to relax in the evenings. Of course, all of that could change soon...

7) What's the hardest part about writing for you?
Do I have to pick JUST ONE thing? Frankly, it is all hard.

8) What movie would you like to be an extra in?
I spent ten minutes thinking about this and have come up with nothing. However, I would have liked to have been an extra for the TV show Moonlighting. I loved that show. Or maybe M*A*S*H. That one was great, too.

9) If you could go anywhere or any when for research, where/when would you go?
Scotland. I find that country fascinating. Pick a time. If I could time travel, I would leap through the centuries to see it all.

10) Did you always want to be a writer?
Yes and no. I always loved writing. Actually, that isn't true. I am like Dorothy Parker. At least, I think it was Dorothy Parker. Anyway, someone said, "I hate writing. I love having written." It's always been like that.

I am going to break the rules and NOT hand this out to specific people. If you are lacking blogging material and want to take a crack at the following ten questions, I would love to read your answers. If not, well that's fine, too:)

These are my questions:

1) Have you ever met someone famous?
2) What concert would you pay a "ridiculous" amount of money to see? The person or band can be dead or alive.
3) What personality trait do you like best about yourself?
4) If you could meet a character in a book, who would you choose?
5) If you won the lottery, how would you spend the money?
6) Do you believe that there is such a thing as "having it all"?
7) Have you ever had a paranormal experience of any kind?
8) What is the most important trait for a person to have in order to achieve success in their life? Job? Relationships? (It can be one trait that ties them all together or separate ones...)
9)  What is holding you back from achieving your dreams?
10) What is your favorite time of day?


Well, this post turned out rather long for someone who had no idea what they would write when the woke up.

Have you ever experienced physical pain from things that happened to you in the past or present? Do you understand the idea that pain is thoughts? Do you celebrate your large and small accomplishments? If you want the award, run with it and make a blog post. If you want to just take a stab at all or some of the questions here... well, I want to read it.

Bullets and Ribbons

I am going to shoot some bullets at you and then celebrate my bloggy good fortune with you.

• Shelby, my dog, is doing oh so very well after her surgery. They removed her leg all the way up to the shoulder. Her incision was very long for such a little dog, but she was a champ. It took her a few days to find her new center of gravity and then she was good. She is now running, jumping, playing, etc. I find that I have much to learn from her resiliency.
• My parents are in therapy (that now makes all of us), separately, but there you go. It appears to be working. They are actually talking through their issues. There. And at home. And there have been no more instances where-in I have felt uncomfortable. However, I am prepared should that happen again. Funny, how just knowing what you WILL do takes the nerves away.
• I got botoxed for my migraines on Thursday. Yikes. I cannot see the pleasure in doing that for fun. We are now waiting and seeing. If it makes a difference in my migraines in the next two weeks, it will be considered successful. If not, it won't. Simple as that.
• I happened to catch the end of Kenny Chesney's concert on youtube. It was the kickoff for his new record: Welcome to the Fishbowl. I have seen him actually live in concert two times.
• The first time was at a fair in Michigan when he had maybe one song on the radio. No one really knew who he was. He was the Opener. I do remember someone yelling some off color remark to him from the floor and he blushed so hard that I could see it from my first row cushy seat just under the awning. I thought it was the cutest thing I had seen.Ever.
• I was thinking about that blush when I saw him the second time at the Columbia Civic Center for his No Shirt, No Shoes, No Problem tour. I don't remember how many times he had been named Entertainer of the Year at that time. The Center was huge. It had a huge screen for those in the nosebleed section. And he came up in an elevator under the floor. Women were throwing their panties at him. He would catch them and throw them backstage, and never miss a beat. I sighed and quietly said a goodbye to the boy who blushed all those years ago. He was long gone. Fame had worked him over good.
• Anyway, I still enjoyed that concert. He is doing a lot more writing I think. His stuff really comes from the heart. He likes writing about that boy he was, the man he is now, and how he got here.

Okay, I guess the rest can wait. If you missed my very long V-Log. You can backpedal through here and watch it. If I ever do that sort of thing again, I will learn how to EDIT so that it is much shorter. There is definitely such a thing as too much Robin. If you want proof of that, ask my mom. She will tell you.Now, let us move on to the bloggy portion of this event.

Gossip Girl over at ~~Whatever~~ honored me with an award. These are the rules.

1. Post the rules on your blog.

2. Name five of your most fabulous moments, either in real life or in the blogosphere.

3. Name five things you love.

4. Name five things you hate.

5. Pass the ribbon on to five other bloggers. (Leave them a comment to notify them of their win.)

5 of my most fabulous moments, either in real life or in the blogosphere...

1. Every single time I have been onstage for a show. I can't really differentiate one show from another because they are all fabulous. But when I am onstage, I know I am alive.

2. All of the time I spent at summer camp. That was like soul food.

3) The moment my junior high school bully came up to me the first day of high school like we were buddies because she was lost. It was a big high school. She had intimidated the crap out of me for three years and she blew it in one day because THAT DAY I saw her for who she really was and she lost all of her power over me. In fact, they all did. They were all just insecure people trying to feel bigger. For the first time in three years, I was FREE. They only had power over me because I gave it to them. That day, I took it back. It was AMAZING.

4) The day I read ILLUSIONS by Richard Bach. It totally changed how I saw the world.

5) The day my first boyfriend said, "You're beautiful." I had been told I was pretty on the inside and had a great personality, etc. But he was the first person who ever said I was actually pretty on the outside. Until he said it, I didn't believe it. I think it is sad that you need one other person to say it before you can accept it as a truth about yourself. However, until that moment I believed all sorts of things about me but that was NOT one of them. I will always love him for that.

Name 5 Things You Love

1) A book that you cannot put down and must read in one sitting.

2) Just about any Joss Whedon series.

3) Just about any game (card, board, etc.)

4) I am still Jonesing for Marshall Mathers. Is he ever going to put out a new record????

5) Pretty much anything that touches my heart and makes me laugh, cry, feel inspired. This can come in pretty much any form and that is what makes it so great. The world is full of inspiration and hope and love and beauty. I love all of it. I want to eat it, swim in it, pour it over my head, pet it ( if it's my dog), hold it close, and let it go.

Name 5 Things You Hate

1) Cruelty

2) Disrespect

3) Lack of compassion

4) People who take advantage of those weaker than themselves. Manipulators. Liars.

5) Arguing over politics and religion. You're just asking for trouble.

Pass this on to 5 Other Bloggers.

1. Liza at Middle Passages. She is in a writing thing and needs blogging material.

2. Jasmine at Yellow Rose of Texas. Just because.

3. Chris at A Deliberate Life. To help her get back into the blogging thing again.

4. Mary the Food Floozie. Because I would like to read about something other than food...lol.

5 Mary at Spilled on the Kitchen Table. This is actually up her alley:-)