BOTB Results and What Is Happening Here

I am late on the Battle of the Bands recap. Sorry. The song was I Won't Back Down and Tom Petty nearly swept your votes with 17. Ryan Star only got one.

JJ The Disconnected Writer said this in the comments:

Robin: I love this segment, but this is the toughest one yet. I knew the Tom Petty version, of course, but I also like the Ryan Star version. Here is why I vote for Tom Petty.

In my lifetime attempts to achieve peace and harmony, I recognize that conflict is a part of life, and I always attempt to avoid it at all costs. However, in our lives, we must occasionally dig in. The Tom Petty version arrives at that time and his heels are dug in as he approaches the upcoming battle. He cannot be defeated.

In the Ryan Star version, the singer has already engaged in battle, and not very successfully. However, despite the beating, he cannot be defeated.

My choice has nothing to do with artistic talent. Like most people, music moves me, and I choose not to believe I can be on the losing end of life's struggles.

I thought that was a perceptive way of interpreting the song. It explains why I really like both versions. When I am feeling on top of my game and ready... I love the Tom Petty version. It was my favorite song on that album for many, many years. When I first heard the Ryan Star version I was already nine years into my battle with chronic migraines and still not seeing any sort of end in sight. Or hope for that matter. But I still believed that it would get better. So, it was all about how I felt. When I first heard that Ryan Star version I felt like I'd been through what was bordering on a 10 years war with no reprieve and I got my butt whooped in every single battle. But, I was still singing the song. I still wasn't backing down. Let's just say my position wasn't fortified, but I refused to accept defeat. I think it is beautiful. It is the song of the extremely weary person who stands facing a stacked deck and still says, "You can stand me up at the gates of hell, but I won't back down." I cried when I heard it the first time. So, even though Ryan Star lost again, here... he is a winner with me (not that it matters, because it only brings his vote count to 2).

If you voted, thank you! We will do it again (different song) on the 15th.

Some highlights of what is going on in my world, bullet-point style:

•  I strained my rotator cuff  in my left shoulder about a month ago. The first time dancing, the second time I nearly fell in the shower and caught myself by wrenching that shoulder (again), the third time dancing, the fourth time I nearly fell in the garden... I think you see how this is going.
• I was told to go easy on it, take anti-inflammatory medication and do my level best not to tear it. A tear involves surgery and possibly/probable loss of motion.
• Since I keep straining it, I think my dancing is about to get pared down to the bare minimum. I hate it, but I am tired of my shoulder hurting all of the time.
• Since I changed my schedule and work on my novel in the morning and blogging later, my edits are coming along much faster.
• Remember my numerology post... well, I have changed several reactions of my MC based upon what her numerology chart says about her. I like how that is developing. She feels more real to me with each change.
• I was surprised and pleased by all of you who sent your information for numerology charts. I am running behind with all of this other stuff, but I will get to them!
• My garden is actually producing this year. Last year it was in a shady spot, so we moved it. Last year, we also planted a month too late, since we were on vacation during the planting time. 
• Ergo, last year our garden produced no tomatoes, no cucumbers, and very late in the season... a few peppers. It was a huge disappointment. Or learning experience, depending on how you look at it. I choose learning.
• This year, it has produced like crazy, but we have fought the bugs every step of the way. I started picking the tomatoes green or they would be eaten. I sprayed with an organic spray that did not slow them down and dusted with seven about a week ago (good-bye organic garden), but that has made a difference.
• We have one banana pepper plant that is producing like crazy. I wish I knew the secret so that I could make all of them act that way.
• Last, but not least, our choir at church is on hiatus so each week someone does special music. I am slated for a solo two weeks from yesterday. I finally chose my music yesterday.
• I am going to include a video if you want to hear it. Of course, it won't sound like this. The pianist will accompany me (so imagine that instead of all the string instruments) and my voice is not as good as hers. And I won't be doing all that humming.

  

Biting Bullets aka Raging Against The Machine

Another Tuesday is here. Once again, I don't have any Big Ideas for a blog post. Let's go with bullets, shall we?

• Last week over at Unicorn Bell they asked for submissions of Inspiring Stories. I debated whether I wanted to jump into that pool and decided that the worst that would happen was I'd get wet. So, my story is up over there today. If you feel so inclined to read it, well that would be awesome! If you like it, that would be even better:) You can click the link...
• My garden is thriving. Mostly. My dog runs through it on her way to the back gate. Aside from that, so far so good.
• My migraines have been troublesome. Again. I think I might be approaching the core of my issues. The closer I get, the more my brain wants to distract me. Excruciating migraines do the trick rather handily.
• I am now finished with my A to Z posts through the letter "R." I can see the Finish Line. Good thing because April 1 is almost here.
• Retired accountants "work" at the library on Saturdays for free before April 15. Since I have been on disability, tax hasn't been an issue for me. Heck, I am living below the poverty line and must live with my mom just to survive. Anyway, I used my inheritance from my dad and withdrew money from my IRA last year to make some much-needed repairs to this house.
• I expected the Energy Credits to offset whatever the IRS would charge me for withdrawing the money early.
• Not so. I got no Energy Credits because I had no taxable income (remember that part about living below the poverty line), but was assessed a penalty of just under $700 for withdrawing the money.
• Oh, and I lost my Energy Credits because they don't carry over if you aren't able to use them. So, even though I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to get better and back to work, the IRS is not going to give me the energy credits when I am working again. They are just gone.
• I concede that this debacle could have something to do with the migraine that has plagued me since Saturday.
• Do you ever tell yourself things like, "It's just money. No big deal. You shouldn't sweat the small stuff. In the scheme of things this really is small stuff, it just seems like big stuff." So do you? Does it work?
• I just had a bit of a revelation as I typed this last bit. Every time my migraine cranks up it has something to do with my core issues: feeling abused, trapped, loss of voice, loss of confidence, and not good enough. If you read my IWSG post then you know this hotbed of crap started in junior high school, reappeared when I was married, and stuck around for the duration. Each time I made progress, I was hit in the face with one or more of these feelings.
• Let's take a quick look at how I felt on Saturday. The taxation system of the government in disallowing my energy credits but insisting on my penalty even though my income was extremely sub-par... yeah, I felt trapped, abused, unable to voice my *valid - I think* complaint, bullied, but not confident about gaining any traction in turning this around. I suppose that not good enough doesn't apply, expect for the fact that one of the workers told me I was ignorant for not being aware of how this would all turn out. She said I would have been smarter to take out a loan (because that is just what I need - another payment every month). 
• But, I didn't say anything. I just took her dressing down because that is what you do with your elders. Right? Even though inside I was raging against the machine... and her. At least the guy who worked with me on my taxes felt badly about how this all turned out. (She was the person who checked over the numbers, verifying it was all "correct.")
• So, compared to her I was definitely not good enough and sorely lacking in the Smarts Department. And I kinda got the feeling that she enjoyed my having to pay that $700 for being such a dimwit and not taking out the loan I couldn't afford.
• And there it is. Rage. My core issue that I really don't want to face. Rage. Rage. Rage. 
• People pleasers, like myself, don't rage inside like a volcano on the verge of eruption. We nurture. We love. We give and give and give and give until it hurts by golly.
• Well, that was unexpected. Sorry about that. I truly didn't see it coming. It just poured out like water breaking the dam. If you got wet, my apologies. 

Where Are My Keys?

I see from your comments that many of you skipped on over to Unicorn Bell to check out the kissing scenes.  I told you in my last post that I submitted one of them.  For the curious, mine was #4 Out of Touch.  My novel is actually a Paranormal Mystery/Romance.  That was a bit of the romance.  All submissions won a copy of C.D. Coffet's novel Wilder Mage.  This week Unicorn Bell is critiquing 1,500 word submissions.  Yep.  I submitted again.  However this goes down it will be illuminating.  In other words, I need all of the help I can get!

I just posted a blog bit about Vampires, Zombies, Superheroes, and all things Supernatural over on my TV blog, TV Junction Function.  If you are into that sort of thing you may want to add your two cents.

In two days the next Battle of the Bands will be taking place.  I hope to see you here with your ears on and ready to vote!

No big news here.  I am about to start a gardening project despite the fact that my gardening experience borders on nil.  I figure there is no time like the present to learn.  Maybe I will post a picture when it is finished...

Remember that bridge I told you about that was hit by the large ship and is out of order?  Well, it's still out of order and making traffic miserable.

Just for the heck of it, we went to a car tent sale a few days ago.  I ended up test driving a few things.  I haven't bought a vehicle in a long time.  Honestly, we don't need another car yet.  But, I am hoping that soon we will.  Of course, we are looking for something used, compact, good gas mileage.  Blah blah blah.  As a former salesperson myself, it is always supremely interesting to watch another salesman at work.  I drove THREE vehicles and the guy was determined to sell me one of them.  I wasn't crazy about the price tag of any of them and I didn't immediately fall in love.  Yet, he was certain that I would buy.  I told him that I hadn't driven enough makes/models to know what I wanted and this was just investigation.  He asked me which of the three cars I liked best, so I told him.  He then used this analogy about keys.

Him: Have you ever misplaced your car keys?

Me: Yes.  (shakes head lost in the memory and frustration of said experience)

Him: Once you find them do you continue to look for them?

Me: Well, no.

He then hands me the keys of the "favorite" car.  ::light switch moment::  I laugh.  He is trying to sell me on the fact that I have found my "dream car" and don't need to keep looking.  It was pretty good IF I had actually found my dream car.  I hadn't.

However, I like the analogy.  It can be applied to many things other than buying a car.  Or buying anything.  Are there times in life when we have the answer but keep looking anyway?  Absolutely.  If we don't like the answer we are getting, we continue to prowl around seeking out another alternative.  I have done it to my detriment and to my well-being.  The key is knowing the difference.

On a side note, every so often I get a comment in a HERE'S TO YOU post about how great these posts are, but that no one ever posts anything for me... and that is wrong somehow.  To show you how my brain works, if I were to read this post on someone else's page, I would have gone looking for this and dedicated it to them in the HERE'S TO YOU post for next week:





Can you think of a time when you figuratively continued to "look for the key" when the answer was already yours?  Or a time when pressing on for another solution made the situation better?