Sunday, July 11, 2010


It's been one of those kind of days. You know what kind of day I am talking about. To post or not to post. I have been back and forth on this for the last two hours. In the meantime, I have been scrolling youtube. Yeah, that is what I do when I can't make up mind.

This place ~ blogland ~ is anonymous and still so intimate. We know each other in ways that our friends that we bump into on the street, and maybe have occasional lunches with, do not. That is just hard to process sometimes. I have conversations with my mother about my various blog friends and she can't keep you folks straight. Well, it's hard for her, because she isn't doing the blog reading, and she doesn't have a face to put with the story. I follow more blogs and there are more stories to tell. She is thoroughly confused now. It has gotten to the point that I have stopped sharing with her because we are starting to sound like The Odd Couple. I have enough stress. And, so does she.

I read a blog today that emotionally kicked me back in time to a blog I read not so long ago from another blog friend. When I read that blog, I read a comment left by another one of my blog friends that threw me for a loop. They both traveled an emotional rollercoaster for a while. Then, another blog friend wrote about cleaning out chicken coops. Painful stuff. Eventually, it led to a really good thing. Healing. Sharing. Freedom.

I accept that no one gets through this life unscathed. I do believe I blogged about that here. I think that there is a Grand Design and I accept that. It is just that right now ~ in this moment ~ I am having a tough time reconciling all of the damage. Rationally, I know that people who survive the most crap and come out stronger, healthier, and with their humanity intact have valuable gifts to offer. There are so many people in need of those gifts.

The first time I went round with this I dedicated the video Fighter on a HERE'S TO YOU THURSDAY post. Well, Thursday seems very far away right now. I have listened to Fighter so many times that I am ready to throw something. No offense. I have found it is possible to actually get tired of a song if you listen to it enough times. I thought about the Dark Angel version and one of the Lost versions. The thing is this: usually when I find the right video it speaks to me. I bet that sounded really crazy. So many of you have commented about how surprised you were that I picked a specific video for you. How did I know that you liked that TV show? How did I know that was your favorite song? The answer: I didn't. I just had a feeling. When I found the footage, it spoke to me. That is sometimes why it takes so long.

So, no Fighter. Yeah, that means I listened to that song for almost two hours for no good reason. It hurts me way more than it hurts you. Trust me. This is for my blogwriting friend from today. It is also for my blogwriting friends who have already opened up their hearts and poured out their pain.

Don't forget to turn off my music player at the bottom of the page.

And this is a really fabulous final destination for everyone. The song is from the same CD. It is one of my favorites (though it never got radio play). For you non-TV watchers, this is a Lois and Clark video.


  1. The lois and clark one didn't load for me...
    I know when your in the midst of your sh*tstorm it's hard tosee what good can come of it. It takes time coming out of it for the good to come, for the lesson to reveal itself. Give it time.

  2. In the case of my blogging friend, the storm has passed and she has come out on the other end for the better. I am just blown away by the number of people who have been blasted by the "bad." I know I shouldn't be surprised anymore, but I am. Each time it still packs an emotional punch.

  3. being on what's called "the bottom" myself, I know that writing about it is not only good for the person who writes (because it's therapeutic. Unless you whine too much about it, like I do most of the time...haha), but also for others - there's always the possibility that one person reads your blog and realize that: wow, it is possible to overcome depression, drugs, whatever - and it's always worth writing even for this one person :)

    (on a different note: thank you - probably again - for your really motivating comments. You should be a motivational speaker!)

  4. When it looks like your blogger friends are being blasted by the "bad"... it's just change and growth. Uncomfortable, weird, fantastic, horrifying, sad, joyful change and growth.

    We don't go anywhere but up in life, no matter what it looks (and feels) like. The storm has passed for me but somebody (wink wink) once called me a lighthouse and so I am at my best and most useful during storms.

    I hope our new blogger friends finds that one day not only is she standing safely on shore but that she was a lighthouse this whole time as well - just like you and I.

  5. Robin- EXCELLENT video choice "Calling All Angels"!!!!!!!!!!! I understand the thinking that we shouldn't be surprised anymore; but it still surprises me when I hear of all the "bad" in the world. I guess my mind as well as my heart has somehow managed to relentlessly hold on to the innocent beliefs.

    While there are times when "bad" does win out; if we just lift our eyes up to the sky's and "call on all the angels"...we will truly "pass through the storm and come out on the other end"

    PS. I totally agree that we sometimes know more about our blogger friends and are more connected with them than "real life" friends. Maybe that is what makes them all the more special to us.

  6. There is so much bad in the world, but there's something to be said for people like you who balance out the bad with the good. And I completely agree with the: knowing the blogger friends better than your real friends, sometimes. :)

    I hope you have a great day!!

  7. I've been thinking a lot about this subject lately. I'm not sure if all this anonymous intimacy is as healthy as it is satisfying.


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