Monday, March 8, 2010


I am still suffering with the sinus crud. Apparently, all of that vitamin C didn't ward off the infection that was bearing down on me. I had another night of crazy dreams and waking up on the hour. In the wee hours of the morning, as I was coming awake, I realized that Dream Me and my Grandma were lying down together having a nice chat. Unfortunately, the closer that Real Me got to Grandma, the more she faded away, meaning I was waking up. That was so frustrating that I woke up crying. Dream Me got a really nice conversation with Grandma that Real Me doesn't remember at all! I took more vitamin C, some allergy tablets, busted open some Airborne chewables and went back to bed. My rescheduled doctor's appointment was for today at 1pm, so this COULD NOT be one of those days where I lied about in bed with a migraine.

I woke up an hour later, still miserable, and decided that enough was enough. I had just filled a prescription for an antibiotic when I went to see my PCP last week, and suspected that this was where I was going. In any event, I knew I would land here eventually. (Today's appt was with my "lady" dr.) I dug around until I found it, took one, and went back to bed. At 11am, mom comes in to tell me I need to think about getting up. I am awake but I CANNOT MOVE. I have one of those migraines that wakes you out of a sound sleep, and you literally cannot lift your head off the pillow. I send her off for a granola bar so that I can take pain meds. They don't go down well on an empty stomach. And then I wait. At noon, I can't say that I am doing "well" but I am dressed and able to leave the house.

On the way to the appt, I tell mom that I should have known this was going to be "a day" because the last time I had to reschedule a doctor appt destiny wasn't kind. Is this fate telling me I need to be more on top of things? I am sure there is a message in here somewhere! The doctor appt actually went better than I thought it might. This particular doctor is a little rough around the edges, and I prefer a little softer. Her energy was better today. I started to think that maybe I was wrong.

Our next stop was my PCP's office to sign medical authorization release forms so that she could get all of my medical records. Dontcha know we even got a top notch parking spot. I was starting to go into shock at our good fortune. My PCP is *the best* and I am so thankful for her. She is getting all of my medical records from all of my previous doctors/hospitals because they would charge me by the sheet for the information, and they have to give it to her for free. In turn, she is going to photocopy it and give it to me for free. I need all of this history to fill out my Social Security Disability paperwork. They are detail-oriented. They want facts. So, I filled out the authorization forms and got that ball rolling.

On the way back to the car, I fell off the curb. You heard me. I FELL OFF THE FREAKING CURB INTO A HUGE OIL SPILL. Hand abrasions on both hands trying to catch myself, a skinned left knee, and an oil spot on a new pair of my favorite pants. Oh and my butt hurts. It took the focus off of my migraine for about two minutes. Then everything hurt. Then I started sounded like Jack Bauer on 24. Damnit. Damnit. Damnit. Damnit. Mom offered up hand anti-bacterial stuff, which burned, and reassured me that she had cleaning stuff that would take out that oil stain ~ no problem.

My mind mentally leaped back to that summer in Colorado when I was selling books door-to-door, and I fell off the curb, and I skinned both knees really badly. I still have the scars. There was embedded gravel and lots of blood. I had to knock on a stranger's door with all that blood and ask for bandages. She was a really nice lady. Cleaned me up and sent me on my way. At least there was no gravel this time. Or blood. All that blood really made me queasy last time. And picking that gravel out of my knees almost made me throw up. What's a skinned knee and an oil stain compared to that? Still, I made a mental note to be more careful around curbs. Apparently, this could become a pattern.

We took a break for some lunch, which was mostly uneventful. Then we stopped by the pharmacy. It, too, was largely not blogworthy. On the way back home, we were reviewing the day and just talking, and somewhere in there I unintentionally invented a brand new word: pissabilities. I meant to say possibilities and it came out wrong. However, once I said it, I realized that given the day I had "pissabilities" really was more accurate, and I was going to start incorporating it more into everyday conversation when appropriate.

I looked up the definition of possibilities and it means: chances. prospects, odds. Therefore, pissabilities, by my definition means: diluted chances, melted prospects, leaky odds. Pissabilities. Use it frequently, but always in its proper context. It is my contribution to the English language.


  1. Love the new word. When you're having a bad day, it seems that the world is filled with limitless pissabilities!

  2. Pissabilites-
    I have been through so much in my little life--so much illness and constantly being sick. Ihave had miracles happen, but have been trying to change my life recently. Learning that my anxiety and that depression also takes away from our immune systems and really trying to turn my entire life around. I wish you health. I know it sounds funny but I was told to make an affrimation and put it on the mirror, I thought it was silly but I read it everyday and now am believing it.


  3. Great new word!

    I think my eyes are playing tricks on me today... I was reading this post and *thought* it said you were going to get a prescription for PCP... I quickly realised that wasn't very likely and managed to take in the rest of the post accurately! ;o)

  4. I love this word.

    I also thought the beginning of this post was amazingly sad. I am a fan of sad things, apparently, even though I joke about so much stuff. The idea of waking up crying from a dream is one of those great, sad things I love.


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