Friday, February 19, 2010


When I feel the need to preface one of my blogs, as I do now, you know that you're in for it.  That could be good or bad.  It all depends on your perspective.  Do you ever have this problem that just circles round and round in your head, and you don't know how to solve it, so your brain keeps coming up with different scenarios, and then it starts invading your dreams ,and then it even manages to make its way onto your TV screen?  Finally, you're throwing pillows at your television screaming, "Enough already!"  Well as the pillow was making contact with my television I decided that thinking time was over and writing time better start or glass might start breaking.  So, here we are.

As usual, the idea started in the shower where I do my best thinking.  It was there that I realized I had been on a path of self destruction ever since I saw the movie THE WAY WE WERE back in junior high or high school.  I can't remember which it was.  We had HBO and I only saw the movie once.  Who could take it more than once????  It was on a Saturday afternoon and it finished right around the time my mom was putting dinner on the table.  It was the first time I had experienced the unhappy ending.  I cried all the way through dinner to the disgust of everyone else at the table and I couldn't stop saying, "But it was just wrong.  They truly loved each other.  I don't understand how it couldn't work out if it was true love."  Of course, I had just spent two hours watching exactly why it hadn't worked out despite the fact that it was true love.  The real problem was that I resonated way too much to this movie.  That was my shower revelation.  I was in vibrational harmony with love not working out.  Oh boy.  This explained a whole lot about why my love life totally sucked and why I picked unattainable men and was not interested in the ones who were. 

My next shower revelation was the Brad Paisley song "Letter To Me."  It's this cutesy little country song where he sends a letter back to his younger self reassuring him that all would be well and helping him avoid minor pitfalls.  Well, I had major pitfalls and all is not well.  I should get the damn letter.  So, now my mind (I am still in the shower, probably lost in a shampoo that has gone on forever) is constructing a letter that my 16 year old self would actually believe and follow.  What to say?  Under no circumstances ever watch THE WAY WERE WERE, LOVE STORY, or anything sad about romance gone awry.  Just avoid avoid avoid.  In fact, don't read romance novels they just make you think one thing when it's all crap.  In fact don't read at all because you might stumble across something that you will resonate to that will completely screw you up.  Wait. Wait. Wait.  I love to read.  And I can't send a letter to 16 year old me anyway.  Cut. Cut. Cut.  Hair is clean anyway and I think I have soap in my eye.  Ouch.

And I wanted to leave it there because the truth is I already watched THE WAY WE WERE and I already resonated.  And same went for LOVE STORY and all of the rest and it was all a long time ago.  So, I am watching SEX IN THE CITY on  DVD and get to the end of Season 2 and Mr. Big (who I really dislike and never learn to like and really hate even though they ultimately end up together) breaks Carrie's heart AGAIN by marrying Natasha and the girls are talking about it and they decide at the cafe that Carrie and Big are just like Katie and Hubble from.....THE WAY WE WERE (get ready for the pillow throw) and they relive the lines where she runs into him and tells him his girl is really lovely and cue up the music.  Carrie then leaves the cafe and walks home going by the site of the engagement soiree and has a face to face with Mr. Big and can't help herself.  She asks them him why it wasn't her, and he has no good answer.  And she does it.  "Your girl is lovely, Hubble," and does the famous hair stroke.  Of course, he is clueless and says, "I don't understand."  And she replies, "And you never did."  And if that show could have left that relationship there maybe I wouldn't have thrown the pillow.  No, I would have still thrown the pillow because that was about my own struggle with resonating to bad bad bad relationships, and it was being thrown in my face ~ again.

The thing is that I can't unwatch or unread anything.  After that show I clicked over to youtube to pull up that last scene of the movie.  It was all of six minutes and I will post it for you.  You can watch or not.  I bawled my eyes out, and it's not because I'm watching the movie all of the time and still resonating to it.  It was six minutes of a movie that I haven't seen in over twenty years.  I am still resonating right here in the now, and I can't figure out where the stop button is.  If my more knowledgable future self would send me a letter, I think we could knock out this problem.

1 comment:

  1. This always kills me, why people can't just freakin' Work.It.Out.

    Then I remember that sometimes we don't make movies or read books to give us the perfect ending. We read them and watch them so that we are reminded that we are all fallible, that not everyone gets a happy ending, and that sometimes heartbreak leads to bigger and better things.

    Mr. Big never really did get it...


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