Sunday, June 6, 2010


Sometimes I don't actually have a handle on my own thoughts. My novel is always somewhere on my backburner. I do believe that I have mentioned The End being problematic. Well, it is sitting there on simmer and waiting for me to work it out.

I had a revelation today when the noticeable lack of comments came in on yesterday's post. Except for my faithful commenter, Chris. Shout outs to Chris who pretty much always posts something. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

That song and my book were intertwined somehow. Something about that song was niggling me. A person doesn't troll 50 pages of youtube for no reason. The problem was I didn't get the song. Not really. I needed help. So, I posted it here. But, I didn't ask for help. I just threw it out there. Well, if you don't ask for help, you don't get it.

Normally, when I don't understand a song, I watch the original music video and that clears it up for me. The artist's interpretation of the song often is that huge "aha" moment. Well, let me tell you that in this case the original music video CREEPED ME OUT. I didn't even post it for you to watch because it was so freaking creepy.

So, if you go back to my post IS THAT ALRIGHT WITH YOU, I started with Bones and Booth video. It is the one at the bottom. To help you out with this, she is a scientist at the Jeffersonian and he is an FBI agent. They clash sometimes because she is all science and he operates on instinct. It is also what makes them a good team. I know that is why the creator of this video picked the first clip BUT it doesn't really fit with the rest of the footage. Yes, that is my way of saying I would have put this vid together differently because I know what is going on here. So, here is what I would have done: It would have opened with her saying she isn't going to his funeral. Cue the music and roll the footage of him taking the bullet for her. And what looks like him dying. And then the funeral. And then pick up with her and Sweets on the stairs where this vid maker has it and go from there. And that part where he is talking about a list. Well, that is him saying that he created a list of people who were supposed to know he wasn't actually dead and she was on it. Sweets decided who got to know and he chose to allow her to think Booth was dead. That's the story. Now with that little bit of story... which I know and now you do, too ... I listened to this song.

Okay, I was totally in. There was guns and shooting and people dead, but not really. And lying and cover ups. So, I am intrigued. The next one I find is the Grey's Anatomy video. It is all about sad moments on Grey's. Again, people dying from accidents, wars, mistakes, etc. It's also about painful moments in friendships and other relationships. Okay, what is going on here? I think the next ones I found were the Vampire Diaries vids. Three of them. I hit you with one. All of them about a relationship that isn't. Weird. But there is sexual tension there. Okay, then there was the Buffy/Angel/Faith/Spike video. It was a twisted way of looking at all of those relationships. But after watching it now about ten times, I think the interpretation is about cheating and the gun becomes phallic. Then there was the Supernatural video that went someplace else entirely.

If your head is spinning right now, welcome to my world. I do believe I mentioned living in the land of crazy. Overthink things much?

My first thought was that this song had a "bigger meaning" and it wasn't about cheating and relationships and the gun wasn't just a polite word for penis. However, now I am not so sure. Is it about people leaving guns/messes around that become too heavy and allowing other people to walk into them and/or expect to clean them up? Or is it just a haunting melody that is really about cheating?

What's the verdict peeps? I am going to post the creepy original to my other post. You can watch it at your own peril.... And you can comment on either post.

As for my book.... if this is just about cheating, it doesn't help me at all. If this is about leaving messes for other people to clean up. Yeah, that helps. I suppose that it has helped grease the wheel in my brain either way. But, I have to get this song out of my head! And I need to stop thinking about it. Thank you in advance for the avalanche of comments!!!!


  1. It's about cheating yourself. The gun is a symbol of's loaded, and they are giving it to someone they don't necessarily trust, they are selling themselves out. Your gun in the hands of a person you don't trust is a dangerous thing. The singer knows it and still does it. People do it all the time. And in doing so they not only harm themselves they harm the people they love.
    That is how i took it.

  2. Thank you! I KNEW it had a bigger meaning. I could feel it in my bones, but I couldn't quite figure it out. Of course, the videos weren't really helping because they were all other people's interpretations and they weren't really "on it" either. None of them nailed that idea. Well, this doesn't help with my book at all, but it gives me piece of mind with this song. I still love it, but I can now let go of it. I don't have to keep listening to it again and again trying to wrap my brain around it. Of course, you are right. People do give their power away all of the time to people who haven't earned their trust. Even to people who have blatantly shown that they don't deserve it. Wreaks terrible damage. And, no, it's not alright.

  3. I loved the Buffy video... although it was somewhat disturbing to watch basically all the clips of sex and violence in the show summed up into one video... yikes.

  4. Oh Robin I'm so sorry I didn't get to comment yesterday! You surely deserve tons of comments...not only do you take so much time searching and putting those video's on but you feel a connection to them as well!
    Thank you for the comment you left is hands down one of the best comments I have ever received.
    You are such a great person and I personally love the way your brain thinks!


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