Wednesday, December 8, 2010


Quite clearly, I am still a bundle of sickness. I know that I am always a heaping mass of migraine. However, I am still down with this cold. It is terrible. Back in the early 90s, when I lived in Savannah, my family doctor ran some bloodwork and told me that I tested positive for mono. She then asked me when I had mono. I told her that I had no idea, which gives you an idea of how sick I was as a kid. I had mono and didn't even know it! She just raised her brows a little and said that whenever I got an infection or cold, basically anything that knocked down my immune system, I shouldn't be surprised if I feel the mono symptoms again. Well, that explained a lot.... like why I always got thrown to the floor every time I got sick. It drove my then-boyfriend crazy. "Why is your sick so much worse than everyone else's sick?" he'd complain. Well, I finally had the answer.


Honestly, with the migraines and my host of other problems, I haven't even thought about the mono in a long time. Well, I have been barely able to get out of bed the last few days. I suffer from Chronic Fatigue, too. That is exhausting all by itself. Throw some mono in on top of that and... who's that guy who slept for years at a time? That could be me.

Yesterday, I had my appt with the doctor that social security assigned me to go see. I have no idea how it went. I felt terrible. The dude really didn't seem to care. Of course, he wasn't supposed to care about my cold, but he came off as a very cold fish. He also didn't seem to have any compassion about my migraines or other problems. Of course, my stepdad says that he is instructed to be dispassionate about my condition. I don't know. I think that some people think that migraines are just another headache. Even doctors. Muscle and joint pain from fibromyalgia is kid stuff. People should just toughen up. In other words, I think that a lot of pain has to be experienced in order to be appreciated. Someone who has had a migraine relates completely differently to a migraine sufferer. Someone who has fibro relates differently. Anyone with chronic pain relates differently. If you have never experienced it, you are judging that which you do not know. I am humming along to the chorus of Beautiful again. And wanting to trade shoes with that doctor. I am sure he would have thought I was insane had I asked him his shoe size on the way out. Good thing that is only occurring to me now.

Thursday is not shaping up well for tomorrow at all. I have not been reading your posts. You know this, because I have not been commenting on your posts. Why? I have been sleeping. All of the time.

Rip Van Winkle.

That there is the dude I was trying to think of earlier. My mind is working on sloooooow. It doesn't have that many gears to begin with and none of them are oiled well. I keep stopping and starting. My eyes are at half mast and my pillow is calling my name. I was hoping to stay awake more than three hours, but it isn't looking likely. I have to go on facebook and send out some gifts or I have people on there who might start sending me mean messages. They want their stuff. Sick or no sick.

Now, that's COLD.


  1. hey, hope you get enough rest. feel better soon. and thanks for the comment on my has always been mental for me. lolol. (obvious aint it)

  2. I thought you might still be under the weather. My Grandson is sick as well. I hope everyone gets to feeling better soon and can enjoy the Holidays.


  3. Gosh Robin, I do the same thing. I sleep all the time when I am really sick - and unfortunately, I have been really sick for about two weeks. It seems everything - mentally and physically is just whooosh down the hill. Blah Blah Blah..

  4. :( I hope you feel so much better soon Robin! You are so right when you say that sometimes people have to actually experience something before they feel even a touch of compassion but still, a doctor? You'd think he'd show a little!

    Hope that somewhere in the midst of all this you manage to have a really good day!

  5. Here's to YOU, Thursday:

    Several years ago, I took part in some fibromyalgia studies as a healthy control subject. They were testing how the brain reacts to various degrees of pain by doing fMRIs while pressure was applied to the thumb. The hypothesis was that the brain of a fibro patient would light up in pain areas even with slight discomfort, because of hypersensitivity. Ultimately, they were hoping to develop a diagnostic tool, rather than just the current assessment of a collection of data. So then your less-than-warm-and-fuzzy doc could have sent you for this definitive test and said, "Aha! She DOES suffer from pain! We need to take care of her." Instead of the "Yeah, whatever, this is all subjective" attitude so prevalent in the medical world ....

  6. No gift = mean message? With that attitude, even Bob Cratchit and Tiny Tim would never get gifts from me.


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