Tuesday, June 7, 2011

It's All A Brain Game.

Mrs. B featured my blog on her blog. She is participating in a hop. I don't have the energy for a hop. In fact, I think I need to go back to the bullet point style. I can feel my brain about to go into the crazy loop.

  • Whew, such a relief. I can now just fritter around like a hamster on a wheel and it is totally cool.
  • Sadly, I feel a lot like a hamster on a wheel.
  • Running and getting nowhere.
  • Well, I did go the library, pharmacy, and grocery store today.
  • Sadly, the pharmacy said that there was an hour wait on Rxs, so I just left. I could have cried or something, but I had nothing left. So I left.
  • I think I have two more pills left so it isn't a total emergency. Yet.
  • I actually did go on youtube for a few minutes and look up some Ellie footage. Why don't we have a looksee? Roll that footage, blogmeister:

  • If you click the bottom right it will enlarge it to fill your screen. The escape key will bring it back to normal size.
  • If you didn't understand why I love Ellie so much before, I bet you have a better handle on it now. She totally goes to battle for the people she loves. I am down with that.
  • I have been distracting myself with facebook and this game on there called Gardens of Time. I like it because it is a memory game. It is kind of like Where's Waldo. You have to memorize the scene and you play it over and over.
  • Why is this important? With my chronic fatigue and migraines, my memory is terrible. It is actually stretching and working my memory muscle.
  • Before all this went down with my dad, I started doing beginners yoga.
  • I am a very odd case. Even though I have fibromyalgia (which means aching joints and muscles), I was super flexible as a child. So, I am still more flexible than average as an adult.
  • So, I have a high flexibility, even though everything hurts like crazy. So, I can do yoga. It just hurts. And, I don't do some of the postures very well (aka downward dog).
  • My doctor says just to do the best I can without straining.
  • Right now, I am not doing at all.
  • I am mentally trying to get there again.
  • It is all a brain game folks. That was something that I already knew, but reading Chris's blog, A Deliberate Life, reinforced.
  • Do you feel like I have I haven't really said anything? Me too.
  • There are a few ideas that swirling around in my head. Mom and I listened to a portion of a book on CD on the drive. One of those ideas was "there is no stopping an idea whose time has come."
  • I think about that a lot with regard to my Big Idea. I have an idea for a non-profit that I have shared on here. If you want to know more click on My Idea in the sidebar.
  • He also talks about Inspiration. Inspiration coming from God. And when you are in tune with your Inspiration that is when Action happens. Things just start rolling out. There is no stopping an idea whose time has come.
  • And then I think about that pastor who said that I was blessed by God.
  • And hearing a voice telling me that this is what I was supposed to be doing.
  • I know that I need to get past all of this grieving so that I can get inspired, so that I can get well, so that I can get into alignment with my idea.
  • Because there is no stopping an idea whose time has come.


  1. That is most definitely a stream of consciousness. Hang in there! Like your little doggie in the header.

  2. You actually said a lot in this post. Unfortunately, you just can't hurry grief. It takes time and then, I don't think it's something we get over it's something we learn to live with a little better...at least, it's that way for me.

  3. And if I could add to your last point with a bullet of my most very own:

    There is no stopping YOU.

    I know sometimes you might feel tired, or tapped out. But you have so much inspiration flowing through you that I know there is no stopping you. I just know it.

  4. It's a decision only you can make. Be well.

  5. There is no stopping an idea whose time has come, but only if you nurture yourself and move slowly through the pain (emotional, physical, the collection you seem to have not been blessed with) to take care of yourself, too, while taking care of the grand plan ....

  6. Ideas are like Rome... there are many roads that lead to their realisation. Just when you give up on them, they may rain on you unexpectedly.

    Kisses for your bullets!

  7. I get that you are coming back around after another time of being knocked of the proverbial horse yet again, out of this post.
    You are sort of sneaking back into being yourself and you will do it. You're right you can't be stopped. You will succeed. Look at how hard you keep trying no matter what gets in your way.
    I don't watch sitcoms really, but I like your character Ellie. Reminds me of how my husband has been known to actually count down 3,2,1... and then enjoy watching me rip somebody a new one verbally. Too bad I rarely remember exactly what I've said. That would be fun, and I have a great memory otherwise.
    To your question on my blog: Amid the latest political scandal, I was just mostly commenting on the fact that not only can men be true degrading scoundrels but women seem more than willing to participate in actions that bring other women down or at least take crap from men as a matter of course. And I despise that...

  8. Sweetie... Grieving takes as long as it takes. By no stretch of the imagination are you any where finished with grieving... it took me a while just to get to the place where I no longer cried about the loss of my Mom, or my Dad...

    Now when I think of them, I smile and still wipe away the occasional tear... you just do.

    Yoga is a great idea...

    You are going to be better. Just honor your Dad...


  9. Don't worry about participating in the hop my love.... All you needed to do was be your beautiful self so that others could see in you what I always have. (as well as all of the good people who make it a part of their day to read and comment here, BTW)

    Grief is one of those things that makes it's own timeline, sweetie. It has it's "steps" and nobody experiences them in exactly the same way. Our grief is as individual as we are. I'm thinking that yoga is very much the same. If you get something nurturing and fullfilling out of it, you'll go back to it when you're ready.

    You are very much an "Ellie". You are a fierce champion of all that you hold dear. No matter what the delivery system, that is an amazing way to live your life. It's the reason we all love you so much.

    Gentle Hugs to you my dear friend...

  10. I know you know I lost my Mom - it was five years ago on the 8th. I still grieve for her now - more so now I've had Grace. I really wish there was something I could say that would be you even a tiniest crumb of comfort, but I just don't know what to say. Huge hugs, Robin.

  11. FYI—“Pay it Forward” is posted. I hope you’ll be able to participate. I’m hoping to build “Pay It Forward” up to be a meaningful event, but I need your help to do it. If you can find the time to join in, it would really help to grow the effort!

    Time and time again, I’ve wanted the blogging world to meet someone I’ve met, or read something I’ve read. That’s what this blog meme is all about, “Pay It Forward.” Instead of keeping all these great finds and great friends to myself, or you keeping your great finds and great friends to yourself, we spread the LUV. Sharing the Good News, great tips, wonderful prayers, fabulous photos, scrumptious recipes, hilarious humor, unbelievable books, stories of goodwill, or whatever good knocks your socks off … with one another. I’d love to have you join in the fun, “Pay It Forward,” to those you admire and appreciate, and I hope we’ll get to know each other along the way.

  12. Same here, I love gardens of time too. Sometimes if I am stress, I play this game and after that I feel better. :)


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