AN ADDENDUM: MARSHALL MATHERS, I AM TALKING TO YOU!

Obviously, this is bugging me or I wouldn't be writing this. This is an addendum to this blog that I wrote earlier today (COULD YOU BE THIS HONEST?). It was actually a follow-up to this blog from the day before (I LOVE THE WAY YOU LIE). I am only posting the links so that you can catch up if you are reading this and thinking, "What in the world is she blathering on about now?" It should bring you up to speed.

I felt pretty good about my first blog, I LOVE THE WAY YOU LIE, until someone more knowledgeable than I on the person of Eminem pointed out some things. I was impressed that he had taken time off from the business (it was actually five years, not three), went through rehab for himself, and not for anyone else, and came out a stronger person for it. And I said that he was honest about how abuse can go down. It's ugly. And he really manned up in that video. In other words, he had intimate knowledge of the subject matter and he still threw it out there. However, the way he did it was in such a way that it was very clearly saying that it was NOT OKAY. He was also saying that too many people can't break free from abusive relationships no matter how bad it gets. Or at least that is what the video was saying. And that is THE TRUTH. I like honesty. Give me honesty over bullcrap any day of the week. So, what I said in that blog was ABOUT THAT SONG. The only other reference points I had for Eminem were his songs NOT AFRAID, which is also off the new album (and is amazing), and the song AIRPLANES 2. That is it.

The problem when you don't know your history on someone is it distorts the view. I don't know if that is better or worse. In the case of that blog, I think it was better because I wasn't talking about the man, I was talking about the song. Could I tell that he knew something about abuse from the lyrics of that song? Yes. Rage? Yes. Has he maybe been on both sides of that coin? Maybe. I don't know. Whatever. Veering off the course.... I said in today's blog that Misery posted a comment about who he is as a person that might not make me think so highly of him. That sent me slogging through what I could find out about the guy. I wanted facts and not rumors. You know what the truth is? Confusing.

I think I got it right on the blog I posted today, but maybe not all the way right. Hence the addendum. Do I admire the Marshall Mathers III before he went into drug rehab (for himself) as a person? He went into drug rehab before that for other people and it didn't take. It never takes until you want to do it for you. It doesn't take until you admit that you can't beat it. That the drugs are controlling you. For someone in hiphop (macho image yada yada) to say that was big. Huge even. That was when he reclaimed his life. Maybe when his real life started. Someone on drugs and someone not on drugs are two different people. Back to my question about MM III before he went into rehab... do I admire that guy? No. However, even then he lived his life honestly. Like I said in my earlier blog. It wasn't always pretty, but it was honest. Sometimes it was scary as crap.

Lira posted a comment about his dual personas: Eminem and Slim Shady. I don't even know what that means. That is how little I actually understand Marshall Mathers. But, as much anger as I have seen him throw at his ex-wife, I have never seen him throw anything but love at his daughter. And then he has gone and adopted at least one other girl. There is more here than meets the eye.

Since I was married to someone who was verbally abusive, I have been asked more than once if I think people who are abusive can change. My answer to that has always remained the same. Only if they really want to change. Only if they recognize that they have a problem and they decide that they want to change for themselves ~ not because someone else is threatening to leave them, etc. It is when they look in the mirror and decide that I want to do this for me. If you have a life-altering experience that changes the way you see everything, yes, I think you can change. But you have to want it. More than you want anything because it is going to be hard.

The bottom line here is that I can't judge the man. I don't even want to judge the man. I have seen a live interview that he gave that was very impressive. He admitted his drug problem and that his first stint in rehab was for other people. It wasn't until he almost overdosed and died that he realized that he had a serious problem. He could not quit. That moment changed his life. When he went into rehab that time it was for himself and he came out a different person. The music seems healthier. The man seems healthier. However, I am never going to be your go-to person on what the celebs are doing because I just don't read the rags. Now, you have got me making an exception...



So, Marshall Mathers, you are now on my radar. I got my eye on you, and I am so hoping that you do me proud and keep your priorities straight. And it would be really nice if you didn't drop the FBomb so much all the time when you're talking. I mean, I know you got an image and all, but the kids are listening!