Thursday, August 16, 2012

The Good Stuff

Things went into overdrive insane around here prior to our trip to Ohio and I just couldn't write. I really hate when that happens because then all of the writing just piles up. Then I am totally overloaded with stuff to tell you. And then I feel like I am back to the bullet point post in order to get it all out. Good thing I know you just LOVE them.

  • Okay, so a long time ago my parents came to the obvious conclusion that this house had to go up for sale because it was just too much house, too much mortgage, simply too much. The question was where to move? And when to put it on the market? All that stuff.
  • The problems where many. But the biggest lie in that my mom really wants to move back to very south GA (bordering on N. FL), very close to where we used to live and my step-dad has decided he likes it right here. There really isn't a compromise there.
  • I also want to move back to the FL area.
  • Just before the vacation the whole thing came to a head. That would be a blow-out argument in the kitchen for the inquisitive minds. Step-dad yelled that he was staying here. Mom calmly said okay. And then it was over. She did add that we were going, though.
  • And it has been very odd since then. I honestly have no idea what will happen.
  • When we went to Ohio, we were strongly thinking about changing our plan and moving there instead. The reasons to go are many. All of the family is there. Mom is turning 70 this year. We have friends there, too. The reason against is that winters are brutal. Amazing that the con can have so much influence, but I really can't imagine doing that again.
  • I hate winter. And mom isn't a fan, either.
  • However, my old drama teacher from high school, who I loved loved loved, is back to selling real estate and she showed us some houses. We had lunch with her on Monday and looked at houses on Tuesday. It was so much fun.
  • I think I am skipping ahead....
  • Our first stop was actually Akron. We had a lovely memorial service for my aunt, who died earlier this year from cancer. It was nice for those who couldn't make it and those who could. It was at a private room in a restaurant. Lots of storytelling and laughter. Minus all the sadness and grief. It was good. Then we spread her ashes in a river that ran by a covered bridge that she loved.
  • My mom and uncle stood up on the road. My mom said, "There she goes." My uncle said, "She always did like to swim." Yep. That was the kind of day it was. Full of awesome sauce.
  • Not all of the ashes went in the river that day. A couple days later, my aunt, uncle, mom, and I trekked out to the cemetery where my grandparents are buried to put some in the flower holder of their grave. She decided she want to be buried next to them.
  • That didn't really work out, so this seemed like a good alternative.
  • That cemetery takes *forever* to get to, for the record, and I thought this day would never end.
  • Also, it reinforced for me that your loved ones are not there. I felt absolutely no sense of my grandparents at that place. It was a lovely cemetery, but they were not there.
  • While in Akron, mom and I stayed with her best friend from h.s. and her husband. That could be a blog all its own. My mom's friend has Parkinson's, and has had for years.
  • Watching her ongoing struggle and determination not to give in to this disease is inspiring.
  • Watching her husband be the support system that he is, despite the fact that they overdosed her with medication at the onset, and she no longer remembers him, is also inspiring. She remembers everyone else, but not him. The psychiatrists say that is not uncommon to lose the person you love the most in this sort of situation.
  • Fortunately, since they got her meds back on track she is able to rebuild new memories. She thinks of him as a nice man and excellent caregiver, but not her husband. And he is okay with that.
  • He also taught me how to juice with his amazing juicer. It was an item that he bought when his wife was dealing with liver cancer (yes, she appears to have beaten that without chemo or radiation). Anyway, we had great fun whipping up concoctions in the juicer every day.
  • Now I really want one for my very own. His was about $300 back when. I don't have any idea what they are running for now. I am a bit scared to price them. The key is that it is a cold system. No heat involved. Or so he was telling me. Anyway, it made fantastic juice.
  • Then I went to a Family Reunion where I didn't hardly know anyone. Those are always fun. But I did reconnect with one person that I did actually know, so that was good:-)
  • Now, we are back to my hometown and looking at real estate, which I already covered. See how I skip around...
  • And we stayed with my mom's friend. She is always so much fun. Last time I was there she had no internet. So, imagine my surprise when she had an IPAD and internet. She leaped right into the technological age with both feet and LOVES it. It was hard to pry that thing out of her hands!
  • Plus, I had wireless for my laptop. Yay. But that meant I got nothing done on my WIP, which I dragged along.
  • I also met up with a friend of mine from high school that I hadn't seen in 16 years. We were in drama together. You can only imagine what that was like. Well maybe not. But there was no silences. Let me tell you. Talk talk talk talk. And tons of laughter.
  • Oh, and she took some seriously goofy pictures of us, which I have yet to see, but I expect to pop up on my facebook any day now.
  • And, did I tell you that I cut my hair and donated it to Locks of Love? I have been meaning to write an entire post about it, but I have been a total slacker. My hair was all the way down to my derriere, so I pulled out the ruler and started measuring.
  • It was the only thing I could think of to do to show support for my friend's little boy who has cancer. All of the family that I have who had cancer cannot benefit from the gift, but so many other people can. Not everyone can give the gift of 11" inches of hair, but I could, so I did. And I still have hair to spare.
  • My DNA may suck and my blood would likely be sent back because of my negative antibodies, but I can donate hair. We do what we can DO.
  • Lastly, this was a really good trip for reconnecting with my brother and sister-in-law. We are getting along so much better now. Since I last saw them, I have worked really hard to forge a good relationship with my SIL and it is paying off. I text her, call her, etc. and things were really good this trip. So, the whole trip felt like a raging success.
  • The only negative thing I can possibly say is also a positive thing. There is a girl who treated me really badly in junior high school (but we were good friends, prior) and she really hurt my feelings. This deep hurt forced me to find other friends. Because of this "catastrophe" I found my best friend, who I will always treasure.
  • That catastrophe was a blessing in disguise. Anyway, this old "friend" still lives in the area and we reconnected as adults and things seemed better. I constantly tell myself that people do grow up. So, I have made a point of seeing her when I visit. Anyway, I really thought things were different.
  • Things got confusing on facebook (don't they always???) and I asked her about it. She responded. I misunderstood, responded, reread what she said, responded again indicating I misunderstood and apologized, and I never heard anything back from her.
  • Her wedding happened while we were there.
  • I never heard from her before I left for this trip, even though I sent her several emails. There were no emails back to get together to help her get ready for her wedding, definitely no wedding invite, nada.
  • Ironically, in her initial message she called me one of her "oldest and dearest friends." I sure hate to think about how she treats her enemies.
  • Anyway, it was NOT spending time with her that made it possible to reconnect with my drama friend. And I am so glad that happened.
  • It also reminded me that our definitions of friendship are most likely not the same. These are always good things to know. Sometimes it has to look like pain in order to open your eyes to what actually is.
image found on facebook, of course


  1. Wow, every time I read one of your 'bullet' posts I think of how much we are alike. :)
    I hate winter too, etc. etc.
    I also recently reconnected with an old friend from the neighborhood and I felt she might have changed for the better. After only a little bit of interaction she was right back to where I found her to always be when she treated me badly. Oh well, some people grow up and change and some just never do...
    Hope all is well with the moving and selling plans. I can tell you from experience that the real estate world is absolutely crazy right now. So many pitfalls, etc. I have chosen not to write about my experience yet as I am hoping to find a happy ending!
    Always good to see a post from you!

  2. Well dear one, you know how I feel about winter...I'm one of those crazy people who really loves winter. Not the bitter cold that bits right through you, but the cool weather, the ability to wear bulky sweaters, boots, jeans, sweat shirts...that type of winter. (normal Louisiana winter) You have definitely been a busy girl, and I just love the way you write out your matter how you write them; bullets or no, they are always 100% true blue you....from your heart...So much love for you sweetie...Big hugs, xoxo

  3. WOW on your list. Sounds like you have been busy. Enjoyed reading your post. Oh and btw... I don't like winter either. :/

  4. Winter? What's that? We never got one last time around so I'm hoping for a good, long, cold one this year. And a long chilly fall! I'm sick of the heat! You know, all you can be is sorry. After that, it's their choice which way to go.

  5. I like your posts....they remind me when I used to sit down and THINK. These days I am so busy, I can't BUY time....but I should carve it out anyways. Locks of love, we do what we can. Amen.

  6. You need a vacation from your vacation. I am happy to hear some good things came from the trip. You are an interesting gal.

  7. Oh, so many adventures! And so much drama! And so much fun! You're back into the throes of life, aren't you??? Although it'd be great for you to be closer, the midwestern winters would be hard for you; even though we had a mild winter last year, that's not the norm. And it's still cold. And I worry about you ... :) And you are SO right about the definition of "friendship." You think it's a fairly standard thing, and yet .... My friends are like family, my friends need me, my friends are there for me ... I think it's a basic concept. Someone I used to know would refer to a "best friend" who left abusive voicemails, who didn't help with a move, who never visited or called during hospital stays and recuperation periods ... um ...??? Not a friend, in my book - "friend" is a term of honor that needs to be earned ....


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