WEDNESDAY RAMBLES AND BULLETS

Peeps. I am tempted to just not post today. However, I am here. I read your blogs. Commented on most. I might try this bullet point style. That is new and different for me. Crazy Texas Mommy does it all the time on Wednesdays and it works for her. Not sure it will work for me. I am me. She is her. I will still try it.

*I woke up at 6:22am with a bone crushing migraine.
*I wish I could say that this is an unusual occurrence.
*I can't.
*However, this one was bone crushing to the max. I was thinking about axes and how much I would like to sever my head from the rest of my body. Yeah, it was that kind of bone crushing.
*This is not my favorite way to wake up. I used to think that the alarm clock was cruel and unusual punishment. Now, I think that the alarm clock is a freaking bowl of cherries with whip cream on top.
*After I registered the thought about the axe, and that I didn't know where one was, or how I could possibly use it on myself, I went for the pain medication. There was also the problem of lifting my head from the pillow. With bone crushers, that is a feat in itself. Next problem: try to figure out in the dark which medicine bottle contains pain medication.
*Since I can't read in the freaking dark, I tapped my light once, for minimal light, and found the medication. I then closed my eyes and tapped it three more times to turn it off. Then, I opened the top drawer of my nightstand for my stash of granola bars. Pain meds are never good on an empty stomach.
*Usually, it takes about twenty minutes and I can feel the teeth start to let go. I will probably still have the tap of the migraine, but it won't be a jackhammer.
*20 Minutes Later and I was still thinking about that axe. And I was starting to do that throw up thing in my mouth. That is always fun. Don't you like to start your day like that?
*Well, that meant getting up and going for the phenergan. I am not going to live with that sh*t any longer than necessary. Took my pill and went back to bed waiting on that sweet relief.
*It.Did.Not.Come.
*What the fuck is up with that? You heard that right. When you live with a bone crushing migraine for six (count them six) hours before you can take more pain medication you are entitled to say fuck repeatedly.
*At noon, I realized I was out of Rx medication. What THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT? I took my over the counter pain meds, went into the kitchen and cried on my mother's shoulder, because I was on the cusp of a serious breakdown. I didn't literally cry because that would only give me a sinus headache on top of my migraine.
*She called the pharmacy. They said I had no refills left. What THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT?
*I told mom that I dropped off the Rx the previous month and if they will check their computer they are just sitting there waiting to be accessed. CVS is so fucked up right now. I miss Walgreens, but there is not one anywhere close to where we live.
*She called them back. Sure enough. It was right there in their system if ANYONE HAD BOTHERED TO CHECK. What a bunch of dumbasses. It was a good thing mom was handling this, because I was still thinking about the axe that we don't have. Well, we might have one, but I don't do the yardwork. Finding out where it is probably isn't a good idea.
*But we do have steak knives and I might have used one on that CVS idiot on the other end of the phone. Dumbass.
*At 6pm, I got another round of pain medication, and started to feel human. That doesn't mean good. Just human. I have stopped thinking about ways to use an axe to separate my head from my body. So, we are making progress.
*And Misery sent me some pics of Marshall Mathers via the email that made me smile. However, she can't remember where she found the one where he was really smiling. And she noted after looking at LOTS of pics that I am right about his never smiling for pictures. It is totally true. He never smiles for pictures.
*However, I think I might have the email still where she told me she found the initial picture. When I feel better I will look for it.
*I don't know the status of my novel. Can't take that pain today.
*Whenever I read your blogs (all of you), I am amazed at how smart you are. Seriously smart. It makes me wonder why you read my rambling thoughts. I probably shouldn't have said that.
*Now you will be questioning your judgment about why you read my rambling thoughts, too.
*That can't be good.
*Some people just don't know when to shut up.

image found at www.photobucket.com

WHY MY FANTASY LIFE SUCKS AND MY REAL LIFE ISN'T ANY BETTER

This is not a typical post. That means it has no real topic matter. However, it does mean that I actually made it out of bed, and got caught up on a lot of blog reading. I didn't comment on all of them, but I made lots of progress. Woohoo.



I am very unhappy about the virus that killed my laptop. Apparently it was big and bad and nuked everything. I always seem to get socked with the Big Bad of Whatever Comes Around. Anywhoozle. Near as I can tell, the guy who repaired my computer said that he saved everything salvageable into my c-drive, including stuff off of my favorites. Well, that was a lot of material people. The emphasis is on WAS. There is nothing that was in my favorites in my c-drive, so that leads me to believe that it was all destroyed. On top of weeks of miserable migraine, that was disheartening. I had some very cool stuff ~ as in my youtube crack cocaine footage ~ in that favorites and it is all gone now. That did nothing to ease my migraine.

Also, all of my pictures are gone. Yeah, that would be the pictures that I found as I tooled around on http://www.weheartit.com/ and thought they were cool, so I saved them. It would also be all of my crush photos of Marshall Mathers. Misery actually found one of him smiling (sort of) that I really liked and it is now in the wind. Dust. Smoke. Ash. Gone. I am totally kicking myself in the ass for not saving it into photobucket or someplace more safe than my computer. Really kicking myself hard.



Clearly, this is not the picture. See how sad Marshall looks. He shares my unhappiness over the lost photo....

Well, then there is my book. I do believe that most of it is on my flash drive. And when that got full a CD. I think I saved The End onto the CD. I just can't bring myself to look, because if it isn't there I know that I won't be able to bring myself to go back and write it again. I will trash can the whole project. Yeah, it is over 100,000 words and I will just trash can it. Because The End is like 25,000 words that I wrote a long time ago and I didn't print onto a hard copy (like the rest of the book) and I just don't have it in me to rewrite it. So, if it is truly gone. It is done. All of it. Done.



Besides, I have bigger fish to fry. Once I get this stupid migraine under control. I have to get onto a hosting site, my email out, and get my website working. I don't have time to cry about my novel. Or my pictures. Or my favorites. Or everything else that just got wiped off my computer. None of it. No time for crying.

On the positive side, I managed to read enough of your blogs to have HERE'S TO YOU THURSDAY ready to go. It is only Tuesday. I am very proud of that. I have no pictures to post with this post. Yet. But, I have Thursday wrapped up with a freaking bow. It is 8:30 and I haven't eaten dinner. That isn't so great. I should probably take care of that. Pictures first. Then dinner. And tomorrow I will check on the status of The End of my book. I know that is procrastinating. I can only take so much bad news at one time. Right now I am hopeful that I saved it. I want to cling to that for one more day.



One last thing: last time I was out of the house with my friend Anthony, we went to the bookstore and I bought Marshall Mathers' autobiography. Read it in one night. Learned a lot. I am sure I will read it again. Watched 8 Mile. I was kind of disappointed. Marshall was good in it. I just didn't really like the ending. It felt authentic and all. I guess I wanted something more concrete for Rabbit at the end. It was too open. I don't know. I also have thoughts about that sex scene in the factory, but I should probably keep them to myself. Aw hell. I don't keep anything to myself. I sure hope that he lasts longer than a minute in real life or that is damn disappointing. I know that it has done horrible things to my fantasy life. I guess that is why I really didn't like 8 Mile. It has totally screwed up my fantasy life. One minute sex just doesn't do it for me. Like I said, very disappointing. On the plus side, if that was his real butt, he has the cutest bubble butt. Seriously. He totally hides it wearing those athletic pants that are three sizes too large. When a man has a fine behind, he really should make use of it. My ex had NO rear at all. He was flat back to knees. It was sad. When you have a nice round tush, work it. Although, I repeat, that one minute scene in the factory is competing hard against the cute butt. I am not sure which image is winning. Actually, I am. The one minute thing is something I would love to erase from my mind.



I never was a big watcher of The Nanny, but I do remember this one line where she said, "Just give me a minute to get that thought out of my head. (dramatic pause) Nope. I'm just gonna have to live with it." I thought that was hilarious. And I have been known to use it if the occasion warrants it in real life. And that pretty well sums up me and the factory scene. Are you bored with this yet? Me either. But, I will stop.

Okay, I am really needing to eat something. So, I am about to go on a picture hunt. Then I will spell check. Then I will post. You will know that I am not dead, but I am somewhat deranged. In other words, everything is pretty much same old, same old.


all images found at www.weheartit.com

FOOTLOOSE DREAM ZONE

Some of you may have noticed that all was quiet on the southern front yesterday. That is my quippy way of saying that I didn't blog. I did read a couple of blogs, but not many. My head was killing me and it just didn't let up. Usually I can squeeze a few good hours out of a day, but the last few days... make it the last week or couple of weeks, it has been challenging. And it has been manifesting itself in every aspect of my life. The migraine meds just don't work for me, so it has all been pain mgmt via pain pills. Well... I know that too much of that stuff is bad for you.

I have been living on pain medication for years, so I really try to not take it unless it is necessary. Well... for the last couple of weeks my migraines have been so bad that they have been waking me out of a sound sleep between 3-5am. Ladies and gentlemen, this is not good. This means that I am taking meds all day long; as soon as the medication wears off, the migraine kicks back in. Not surprisingly, the last few days my stomach has really been hurting. I have no doubt that it is a response to all of the pain medication. I sent off an email to my doctor today. Fortunately, she is excellent about replying.

Normally, I don't post this kind of crap on my blog. No one wants to hear about your medical junk. Besides, I know many of you have medical junk of your own. I am also a big believer of negative builds on negative and positive builds on positive. So, I really try to throw positive stuff out into the universe because that is the foundation that I want to build on. I believe in positive comments, positive thinking, positive visualization, asking for what you want, believing you will get it, and that there truly is a Grand Design (no matter how messed up everything looks at any given moment).



Yesterday was supposed to be my magical music day. That didn't happen. It was my spend the day in bed day. Yuck. And my laptop is at the computer fix-it place being wiped. That has me less than happy. All of my wonderful youtube footage saved in my favorites for later are very likely lost in space. *sigh* Ironically, I didn't even have an 80s group picked out because I was feeling so bad all week long. Yeah, it was really that kind of week. So, now I am sitting at my step dad's computer and thinking about how I might accomplish this mission without totally annoying my mom. She is at the next desk, which is only a few feet away. I love listening to youtube music. It drives her up the wall. I have nothing saved and no ideas. It is entirely possible that she might kill me, even though she loves me like crazy, and I am her only daughter. It would be a crime of passion. Totally an "in the moment" thing. I know that she would feel terrible later.

Well, I will try doing some listening and see what happens. If she gets that look in her eye and goes for the iron skillet in the kitchen, I might have to switch gears and do something else.

Well, this turned out to be easier than I thought. I strongly encourage you to listen to the inspirational song for today. You will probably look at the name of the song and band and scratch your head. The only reason I am familiar is because this song came out at a time when I was actively watching CMT. Why CMT? Because if I felt cruddy and only could stand 10 minutes of TV it was no big to turn it off. There was no emotional investment in a "show." However, as soon as I saw this song I LOVED it. However, I never heard it on the radio... of course. Because it was awesome. Probably not country enough for country radio, rock enough for rock radio, etc. Basically it just didn't fit in anywhere. In other words, it was awesome. So, give it a listen even if you hate country. It may never rank up there with your faves, but it is a very cool song. Definitely inspirational.

Click here to watch the video. It would not embed.


I have been thinking that I wanted to do an 80s soundtrack for a while. My original thought was to take a successful soundtrack and pick a couple of songs that had particularly interesting videos. Well, that isn't how this post is going to work. However, that idea is still on the backburner. Instead, I am going to go with an 80s artist that had two REALLY successful songs on two DIFFERENT soundtracks. In both cases, this artist shot the videos using footage from the movies. That was brilliant. Had the movies been duds, that would not have been a good idea. However, both of these movies were box office blockbusters and this was a case of a song using MTV in yet another visual way. The movie, the song, and MTV all were using each other to ride each of these separate, but interlocked, entities to success. People watched the video and then had to see the movie. People watched the movie and then loved the video. People loved the video and had to buy the soundtrack. It was one more unanswered question of which of these caused the other to become the unparalleled success that it became. Who knows?

The only thing that was certain was that the fans were glued to MTV, buying the soundtracks as fast as they could, and hearts were palpitating all over America for Kevin Bacon and Tom Cruise. Yep, the artist we are talking about was Kenny Loggins. In the 70s and early 80s he was "speaking" to our parents. In the mid-80s, he jumped the generational gap when he became the musical voice for FOOTLOOSE and TOP GUN. Yep, Kenny Loggins jumped back on the musical rollercoaster and became a hot property. If you don't remember, or doubt what I am saying, just watch the footage. Kenny Loggins knew when to step in and when to step out and it put him back on top. Yeah, he was, once again, a top gun.... lol.







I have to admit that both of those movies were HOT HOT HOT back in the 80s. And Tom Cruise was the sh*t before he lost his freaking mind. Kevin Bacon still is the sh*t. I have a funny story to tell about high school, but today isn't the day. One day when I am lacking material I will share it. Well, it was funny then... maybe not so much now. Maybe it was a had to be there story. I don't know. But, Kenny Loggins always was classy to me. I always loved that song that he wrote for his father THIS IS IT. At least, I understood that it was for his father. As I understood it, his dad had cancer and was mentally giving up. It was the kick in the ass song that Kenny wrote for his dad. It was him drawing the line in the sand letting his dad know that he had a lot of fight left in him and no one else was giving up. It makes me cry every time I listen to it. So, yeah, I think Kenny Loggins is hardcore. In his soul. Where it counts. And I think he knows something about walking in the Danger Zone. Not necessarily where there is artillery and gunfire (I don't know about that), but fighting the good fight. Yeah, I think he knows about that. And he isn't a quitter. I like that.