Heroes

We are rolling up on another Memorial Day. Funny how they keep coming like clockwork. Just like birthdays. Like Christmas. Time just keeps ticking on.

It is a hard holiday to celebrate. You can spin this one all sorts of ways. You are celebrating death. However, it is the deaths of people who gave their lives in the causes of Freedom. That makes it go down somewhat easier. It just seems sad that the battle seems so never-ending. It started with a Civil War and still rages on today.

They are heroes, to be sure, the men and women who sign up for our military. They know we are not at peace. Heaven forbid people stop signing up and we should have to begin the draft again. That didn't work out well before.

I could say what I think (it is time to start recalling our soldiers home in a safe fashion), but I know that as soon as you start opening your mouth on this sort of topic people immediately get all angry. And want to tell you why you're wrong. And, I say to you who think that all of our soldiers should be off fighting in foreign countries, "You are entitled to your opinion. Just let me have mine."

So, let's take a moment for the real life soldiers who are out there doing their thing. Wish them well. Send a prayer and some positive energy their way.

And now I am going to share with you some clips from one of the best TV shows out there. I love this show because the characters are just so darn good. And they believe in what they are doing. Each episode they fight to get to the truth of the death/murder of someone in our military. Of course, it is about the science, forensics, and all of the details of the murder stuff. But that isn't what makes the show great. It is always the characters that make a show great. And greatness always trickles down. As does moral bankruptcy.



They couldn't have cast this show any better. Mark Harmon plays the leader of this team. Everything about this man has always said strong moral fiber to me. Always. And it still does. Without making you want to throw up in your mouth. He is quiet and unassuming. He just IS. He doesn't have to force people to follow him. They want to follow him. And that is what makes a leader. This clip illustrates Gibbs and his Rules. It is a compilation over many seasons.



Now, this clip is specifically from Season 6. Yes. Season 6. No one really knows where the rules comes from until RIGHT NOW. This episode takes Gibbs back to his hometown and he gets lost in a memory of the first time he talked to Shannon. This is the woman that he would marry. She would always be the love of his life. She, along with his daughter, would be murdered. However, it takes the writers six years to unravel the character of Gibbs enough to let you know that until you understand THIS, you aren't even close to understanding the man. I cry every time I watch this scene because it is just so SWEET.



Now, Gibbs is a man who puts pictures of men he doesn't know on his desk. Cases solved. Justice obtained. It doesn't bring anyone back to life, but it brings closure to the families, and that is the best he can do for them. I like to think that there are real-life Gibbs' out there doing the job. Heroes. Just doing the job. It's not a great job. But, it's something that they can give back at the end of the day for the people who died here at home that served their country.


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Let's Kick This Around

I've been a bit distracted by all of the Crazy in my world, so I haven't been keeping you up to speed on my other stuff. My Less Crazy. Or just Ordinary Stuff. Or even mildly interesting or even Somewhat Off The Wall Ideas that I sometimes get. Those are kind of fun.

I did determine from talking to my PCP that I am going to have to go back to my neurologist at the Headache Center. When I first saw him over two years ago, I thought he is *awesome.* That was back before I had good insurance and we couldn't actually do anything to implement any of his great ideas. Then, I actually got good insurance and he no longer thought they were good ideas. In fact, he said he no longer recalled even saying them. Uggghhh. I was hoping to change doctors when my SSD came through, but it turns out that there is nowhere to go. They are the PRIMO outpatient care facility for people with migraines, which is what I need. And when I say PRIMO, I mean ONLY. At least in this area.

So, I am trying to figure out how to make him think this is his idea all over again. Because it was. And can be again. I just really pissed him off a couple of times in the last couple of years with self diagnosis. Doctors don't like that crap. However, when you have a migraine for ten years, you kinda know it's a migraine. And when you have side effects to a medication and it's the only new thing, you kinda know it's that medication. They just don't like it if they prescribed it. I would think they would be used to being WRONG at some point. Guess not. So, I am working on this one. Planning and all.

Meanwhile, back when I was in group therapy for chronic pain they talked a lot about slowing down your breathing to help with the pain. So, I do that sometimes. Ironically, until you slow it down, and start breathing deeply, you don't realize what shallow, fast breaths you are taking. The other thing my therapist mentioned in our second session is not thinking about the pain at all. Imagining yourself somewhere else. Somewhere pleasant.

So, I was in the Think Tank yesterday thinking about the above stuff when I also started thinking about the TV show Fringe. I watch it on DVD, so I haven't watched this entire season... yet. Anyway, they do a lot with Fringe Science. Ta Da. That was a big reveal. It is actually one of the coolest shows on TV. Anyway, I started thinking about what if there was a way to facilitate this process of making a person focus on that pleasant place. Sometimes I get stuck because I get "hung up" on a detail. If I am in my childhood bedroom I can't remember where something is and it frustrates me. And then I can't maintain the "illusion." Or if I am at the beach I can almost smell the salt in the air, but not quite. I can't quite push past the pain in my head. But, what if Fringe Science hooked up an electrode of some kind into the memory area of my brain and stimulated it? And I could see/remember everything clearly, so clearly that it was truly like I was there. And then they were able to just barely tap the pleasure center of the brain during that memory the entire time I was under. Like the wisp of a brushstroke. For most migraine sufferers, if you could keep them under twenty minutes the blood vessels that constricted in the neck that caused the migraine would have had time to decompress. When they came out of it, the migraine would be gone.

Stress is the root of so many other health issues, I can't help but wonder what this sort of therapy would accomplish for heart patients, etc.

I just finished the last book of The Hunger Games trilogy, Mockingjay. By and large, I don't remember YA books being so good when I was that age. As always, I hate coming to the end of a series. Makes me a bit sad. Like saying good-bye to old friends.

And you say to me, "The characters were onions all the way through. Real or not real?"

Without hesitation, I reply, "Real."

Thank you Suzanne Collins for keeping it real.


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Stepping Out

It seems like everything on this blog has been weighty and stressful. One big fat *ugghh* at each reading.

The band Train came out with their new album, California 37, in April. I have been psyched about this ever since it arrived on the scene. I even downloaded it on my IPOD immediately. Every song on it is amazing.

I first discovered Train when I was dragged to one of their concerts by the ex-husband. He wasn't an ex at the time. They were playing right here in our hometown, the concert was outside, and it was fairly inexpensive. That meant we were going. This man was willing to travel several states away to see a concert. So we were going. I didn't even know who Train was at the time. I was less than thrilled. However, as soon as they started playing, I was hooked. And I mean seriously hooked. I bought a T-shirt before we left. He didn't. I still have it. I also made a point of buying their CDs after that. I became a FAN.

So... when this album came out, I got on the computer and looked up the tour schedule. Sure enough, they are on tour. And they will be in the south this fall. I bought tickets. The venue is outdoors, which is much more tolerable for migraine sufferers. And I am hoping by then that I have it better under control. I haven't been excited about a concert in YEARS. Mostly because they are painful. But I am optimistic. And excited.

So, what is the fuss about? Some of you may be scratching your heads. Train who? I don't know whether to enlighten you by way of their old stuff or their new stuff. Heck, it is all awesome. This is a new song, not yet released, that I think is just wonderful. It is live.




This is the new single, obviously the video. Professional job. Very cool. Awesome song.




This is something from the studio sessions for the new album. Gives you some insight into the band.




And this was the song on that first tour standing in the audience when I knew it was love. I can't remember if there were tears running down my face or not. But there probably were. Because that is just who I am.





It's good to have things to be excited about, things to look forward to, etc. And when I talk about Train, it feels really good not for it to be in the context of riding on the Crazy Train... lol. I am learning that people do need these things in their lives. (these positive things to focus on) I think that these are the things that help us get through the days. If all we have are the bad things, the negative things, the scary things, then we have nothing.

It is slowly occurring to me that my life has become so insulated by doctor's appointments and migraines and things that I cannot do because of illness that I don't have positive things to look forward to that are actually substantial. As in real. I have things that I want to happen. Things that I envision happening someday. But not much that is on the books. I need more on the books. I now have a Train concert. To some of you that may not seem like a whole lot. To me that is major progress. It is huge. No one ever made it anywhere without taking that first step. I haven't stepped in a long time. Hello world. This is me stepping.


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