A Time For Dying.

Hello friends. My dad passed away Friday morning at 6:20am. My mom and I got into town Thursday evening about 9:30, but we decided to wait until the next day to see him because he was having a pretty good day on Thursday. At first, I was just wrecked that I missed my chance to see him one last time. And then I reminded myself that I deliberately had made a decision not to see him like this... that I wanted my memories of him alive to be of him in March. He knew we were coming and I think he chose to go. He took that choice out of my hands. Dad always knew my heart.

We did go see him shortly after he passed and he died so peacefully. His hands were crossed over his stomach and he was clearly asleep. His soul leaving his body wiped every single line from his face; it became as smooth as a newborn baby (albeit a bit rough). I made note to self: make sure someone continues to moisturize my face when I am old and dying so that my skin is soft when I go.

We talked about dad's favorite things, and one of those was casinos. He moved out to Vegas for a while he liked them so much. So, we woke up very early this morning and drove for a couple of hours to go to Cincinnati and the casino Hollywood. We had a great time and I felt my dad's energy every time I hit it. I had a really good day. I think he was pulling some strings for me from high places:-) Normally, I would call him after some of those wins. In this case, I just talked to him right there at the machine. It is nice to know you can do that.

Tomorrow we meet with the funeral director to discuss the details. The funeral will be Wednesday. Because he is a veteran, he will get a military funeral with the 21 gun salute and the flag, etc. I know that I will cry through the whole thing. I cry through those when I don't even know the person, so this will be a gusher.

Thank you all for the support. I don't have easy access to internet here, so I apologize if your comment doesn't show up right away. I will get it and I do appreciate it. I love all of your feedback. Especially now. Thank you for continuing to show up.

Here is a small scoop.

I have been working for hours trying to put up a Thursday post and it is just not happening. It has been one computer malfunction after another. I finally uploaded the newest version on Internet Explorer because it kept crashing on me when I would switch over from the Edit to Compose mode on here. That did resolve that problem. However, now I can't do anything in the Compose mode. So frustrating. For instance, I can't even get my mouse to highlight any portion of text for any reason. It is midnight and now it is Friday. Technically Friday. I am exhausted in every possible way that a person can be tired. I will get that post out tomorrow. Sometime this weekend I will update you on my dad. And OH YEAH there is lots to tell there. Hence, the overwhelming exhaustion. All of your comments have been so loving and from the heart. Really can't tell you how much kind words mean. Kindness is the one thing we can offer in the face of devastation and loss. Actually, so many times it is the only thing we can offer. You guys have it in abundance. Thank you for showering it on me. I have felt it and appreciated every word. Truly.

Well, I never could get the PUBLISH button to actually publish last night. And I finally gave up. Today, I decided to try and actually finish the "real" post on my step-dad's computer. His computer won't transition between the edit and compose without shutting down, either. Egads. However, I bet this post will publish. I am not giving up. I have a Thursday post and I will find a way to finish it and get it published. I am hoping it is today.

Have you ever noticed that it is feast or famine? When it rains, it pours? That sometimes your life really is a country song? I hear David Allan Coe callng my name....