ONE WORD AND 15 MINUTES: SO MUCH FUN

I used to do this writing exercise called one word and fifteen minutes when I lacked blog topic ideas, or I just wanted to see what was rattling around up in the noggin'. So, I am going to try the one word post again. As usual, I have no idea how it will work out today. Most of the words you guys offered up, some I got from opening the dictionary with my eyes closed and dropping my hand on a word, and it got thrown in. They are still written down on pieces of paper in my black sequin-covered top hat. Yeah, I have one of those. I bought it for my one and only choreographed karaoke number, Hey Big Spender. Ah... the good old days. As always, I hope this will spur you on to give me more words in your comments;-) I also pulled this clip so that you might get an idea of what you're in for with this exercise:



This is going to be fifteen minutes of me puking up whatever comes to mind on whatever word comes out of the hat. Okay, I am shuffling the words and pulling out a word now. The word is: tile.

Who would have thought that I actually do have thoughts on tile? Since I have been thinking about building houses A LOT tile is something that is on my brain. Every bit of the process of house building is on my brain. I am still in the complete visualization process of all aspects of this project, and that includes stuff like tile. Who knew? Ceramic tile gets chippy. People could be in wheelchairs, etc.

It is funny because I never thought much about things like tile before. I never thought much about any of the details of house building before. I really wasn't interested in HGTV before. I am actually not watching much HGTV right now. I am spending a lot of time in my own head. And I read quite a bit. And I work on this blog. I really need to get my sorry butt onto the task of getting my site onto a hosting website. I even have decided which one I am going to use (and no one give me more suggestions, because it is only confusing, and not helpful). I know that you are trying to be helpful, but seriously, it isn't. That is what has held up this process so long as it is. Too many choices and no knowledge. That is a dangerous combination.

I read you people's blogs every day and you have the nifty tabs at the top. Things that say Home, My Recipes, My Awards, etc. and it makes me freakin' insane. You know why? Because I cannot find anything in the template design thing for tabs at the top. I have looked and looked and looked. And nothing. So, I have no tabs. And this is the kind of crap that worries me seriously about me being the person to design this very important website. I cannot even create tabs on blogger. Everyone in the freaking free world seems to be able to do it but me. I bet I could set up a ten year old on this site and he or she would have it figured out in under fifteen minutes. I have been using this site since January and I am still a woman without a clue. I have still tried. It isn't like I have given up on the tabs. I look admiringly at your tabs and think to myself, "If she can do it, by golly, so can I." Then I spend 20 minutes in the design layout section breaking every cursing rule I have, and working myself into a migraine that knocks me out the rest of the day. That makes me so mad that I then lie in bed and curse at blogger while it is off. Yeah, I can stay pissed for a long time about things like tabs. I then make a pledge that I will NEVER revisit the tabs issue again. Until I see someone else who has cute little tabs at the top of their page and it makes me want them and I get on that same dumb ride at the amusement park.

For me it is the round and round rides. You know, like the teacups. They make me puke every time. I am sick as a dog. I am useless the rest of the day. I am dizzy. My inner ear equilibrium is all thrown off. I can't ride anything else. My ticket money is wasted. I just want to go home and go to bed. I discovered this when I was like seven. So, it is non-migraine related. Anything round and round is bad news. I can ride the swings on a good day, because I mentally convince myself that isn't really round and round, because the circle is wide enough. I lie to myself until I believe it. Yeah, that sometimes works. So, on a good day I can ride the swings. Teacups? Never. Hate the damn teacups.

Love the rollercoasters. I can ride them all day long. This is becoming a parallel for my life. I feel it. I keep marrying the teacups and/or dating the teacups when I really should stick with the rollercoasters. They are what I like. They are fun. They last longer. And they are really my kind of ride. I didn't see this post going this way. Hmmmm. But it's true. I really don't like the ones that go upside down. I would much rather ride a smooth roller coaster with a long drop than go upside down. Upside down must be too much like the teacups. Except I can tolerate it because it happens quickly. It just isn't my favorite. Cedar Point has the best rollercoasters of any amusement park anywhere. Of course, I don't think I could tolerate any of that crap right now. Are we talking about coasters or men? Uh oh. Time's up.

ONE WORD AND FIFTEEN MINUTES: THIS IS HOT

I am going to do another one of my 15 minute one word rambles today. I thought about doing Pay It Forward Tuesday, but one of my people from last week still hasn't checked in and gotten her links. And I haven't gotten any feedback on it, so I am setting it aside for a week. I think I might not be a very good matchmaker. That's okay. We all have gifts. That might not be one of mine. I can deal.

The latest real news is that my parents arrived home safe and sound from their vacation. My mom has a cold. Ick. The dogs are thrilled. Yay! And I did go to the doctor. First time ever that it was an in and out visit. I was wrong about the weight. 113. Well, I said my pants were loose. That is true. I am thinking that tomorrow I might pull up all of my skinny pictures with clothes that I miss the most and put them on here. It can be my a picture tribute to the clothes I miss the most. You can let me know what you think about that idea in the comments.


I also still need words from you people to put in the hat. Give me words please. In the comments write down words and I will add them to the hat. As much as I enjoy randomly opening up the thesaurus with my eyes closed and dropping my finger onto a word, I would prefer you to throw your words into the mix. And no more words from the OLD ENGLISH DICTIONARY. I don't care if you want to bring them back to the English language. I still want people to start using the word that I made up and contributed to the English language: pissabilities. However, it hasn't attained the status of common usage. I am not hearing it at the supermarket, on TV, at the mall (well, I don't go to the mall), but you get the idea.

I am not posting the funny Gilmore Girls video today. If you want to watch it go to yesterday's post.

The word today is: planter.


Well, I was asked to water all of the plants in the planters while my mom was on vacation. That is as close to any planters as I have come in years. I am just not a flower person. Or a plant person. I don't do well with plants. They don't talk or bark so I forget about them. Then they die. It is when they turn that horrible shade of brown that I remember that they need water. Uh oh. Well, by then it is really too late. I do okay with desert plants because they don't need much water. They can exist for long periods of time with no water. I tend to kill those less often. They, in fact, are pretty hard to kill. That isn't to say that I haven't done it. Because I have. There is no plant that I can't kill by sheer neglect. Yep. If it doesn't talk or bark, it is likely to die under my care.


Planter. I suppose I would do okay if I had an actual planter to take care of my plants. In that case, I would want a really good looking one. You know strong and cute and likes to walk around without his shirt on. That kind of planter. I might even sit outside in the heat of the day to watch that kind of planter. Definitely would. There is nothing going on at this house, so that would be the only entertainment I would get. So, there is 100% chance I would drag my sorry ass outside to watch. Ooops. We just left a comment about cursing. By we, I mean I.

I have tried to leave cursing of all kinds out of my vocabulary. Shit, damn, and ass have crept back in. I want to push them back out.

Now, back to my cute planter. That was hot. In a good way. Yeah, we have a porch swing thing out there. It doesn't really swing. No, it is more of a glider. That would be good. And there are ceiling fans. I think a lot of really cold water would be necessary, too. I think that a planter of that sort would really go a long way towards helping my migraines. Something to think about besides a really bad headache. Of course, we don't have anything going on in our backyard right now, so it would be a really big job. A time consuming job. I bet he would have to be here every day. For hours.

I have to get off this topic. I am feeling a bit dizzy. And my mouth has gone dry. Like I have been sucking on cotton. That can't be good. But my brain is a total blank. It is full of planter man. Planter man who doesn't exist. Well, there is a reason our backyard is void of everything. It is because of the dogs. We have three dogs. You can't plant anything out there because they will trample it good. They tear up a yard quicker than you can fix it. My step dad does have a little food garden going. We have gotten some veggies out of it. There is also an herb garden out there. I think the dogs have stayed out of that. But they would destroy bushes and flowers. So, no planter man is necessary. Dogs defeat the purpose of planter man. Oh well.

Speaking of fantasies. Or really more like things on the brain. What hasn't been on my brain is my novel. I am stuck there again. That is frustrating. What is on my brain is Marshall Mathers. Still. People that I can't figure out stick in my head. He is like this puzzle that I can't figure out, so he is stuck in my head using up what little brain activity I have. I don't particularly like that. Mostly because there are no answers there. The one thing that I have figured out is from Lira. He has personas. That is like glamours or characters that you play that aren't really you. So, that means he draws from personal experience to play these characters. But, who is actually the real guy? And that is what has my brain spinning. Sort of like a hamster on a wheel. Marshall Mathers isn't any of those people and he is all of them.



It was more fun thinking about imaginary planter man.

Time's up. Don't forget to give me some words.

ONE WORD AND FIFTEEN MINUTES WITH A TWANG

Going to try the one word post again. It turned out pretty well last time, but I have no idea how it will work out today. The words you guys offered up are still written down on pieces of paper in my black sequin-covered top hat. Yeah, I have one of those. I bought it for my one and only choreographed karaoke number, Hey Big Spender. Ah... the good old days. Thank you, Liza, for contributing five words or the selection would be very slim. Hopefully, this will spur you on to give me more words in your comments;-) I also pulled this clip so that you might get an idea of what you're in for with this exercise (don't forget to turn off the sound on my music player at the bottom of the page):




This is going to be fifteen minutes of me puking up whatever comes to mind on whatever word comes out of the hat. Okay, I am shuffling the words and pulling out a word now. The word is: twang.

Oh God. I don't know how I am going to pull this off. I think about twang and I think about country music, and that really isn't fair, because so much country music isn't full of twang anymore. Granted some of it is. The old stuff was because of the instruments. I think that they wanted it to have that sound. The twang. I don't know. Anyway, it is kind of an old fashioned word because it goes with old fashioned music.


Twang. Rhymes with Tang. Now there was a terrible drink. Right up there with Kool-Aid. Of course, I am now drinking Gatorade. Whatever. I drink it for the electrolytes. Someone who gets migraines told me to drink Gatorade because it helps. I don't know if it really helps or not because my migraines are constant, but I figure that the electrolytes can't hurt. So, I drink me some Gatorade every day. Now I drink the G2.

Speaking of which, I am losing weight again. I am sure that all of my friends who are on the weight loss plan will love to know this. I am not trying to lose weight. It is just happening. That is a side benefit of constant migraine pain. Weight loss. You don't want to eat. You eat very little. You lose weight. And there it goes. My all-time migraine low weight? Anyone want to to take a guess? 102 pounds. Yep. I looked bad. Really bad. I looked a bit better after I moved to FL and did some walking on the beach every day and got some sun. Before that I was just a very pale 102 pounds. Gaunt. Bad.

I am not sure what I weigh now. But I am going to the doctor tomorrow. I will know then because they weigh you. Every time. Without fail. You get weighed and they take your blood pressure. I hate that blood pressure thing. It about squeezes your arm off. Man, I hate that. I have really low blood pressure, so if they use a cuff that is too big, it squeezes really tight, and then it can't find my blood pressure anyway. I need the child size cuff. Just give me the child size cuff to start. Just hurt me once for crying out loud. Take the note down in the file. Egads. When I was in the hospital, the morning nurse kept taking my blood pressure repeatedly because he wasn't getting anything. I finally told him that I was dead and my body hadn't figured it out yet. He didn't' think that was funny. I thought it was pretty hilarious for 5am. I didn't want to be awake at 5am. So, it was damn funny.


Anyway, I suspect I will weigh in at about 115. Maybe 114. I am not sure. My pants are getting loose. And that really sucks, because I didn't think I was going to do this again, and I gave all my size 6 pants to the freaking Goodwill. I suppose that means I am going to have to go back to the Goodwill and buy more Size 6 pants. It just makes a person pissy. Who has the space to store multiple sizes of pants because you keep going up and down. And the other thing that sucks is that I am moving back into a small shirt. I gave some of my favorite small shirts to the Goodwill thinking I would never see a small again. And now... I am about to be back in a small shirt. All of my mediums are going to be slightly too big. Larges are going to be nightshirts. Who has time for this sort of drama? Really? If I had known this was going to happen, I would have packed them in a storage container, and marked them small and put them in the guest closet. Boooo.

I know what you're thinking.... as soon as this temper tantrum is over, my weight will start to gain. You are probably right. I shouldn't complain. I like being a size 6 and a small actually. I just wish I had my old clothes back. Time's up. Thank God.