It is 6:30 and I am just starting my post. I thought about not posting at all today. Misery made a strong point about blogging every day interfering with the progress on my novel. However, I did make some headway on that yesterday. Today, I would like to blow some smoke about my time being spent on novel writing, but that would be a lie. It was actually spent on novel reading. Yep. I caved in to the lure of a novel calling my name. And it was soooo good for me. Actually, I have read more novels in the last two weeks than I have since I started my writing. I thought it would interfere with my "process," so I quit reading. I think ~ now ~ that was an idiotic decision. The best way to learn what makes a good novel is to read one. And not to read just for the pure deliciousness of the read, but mentally taking notes of why it is good. Why is it working? How is the writer achieving "goal" with the storytelling?
I swear sometimes that I think I am the most retarded person I know. That implies that I know myself in the third person or something. Whatever. There are some things that I know instinctively and other things that I seem to always discover the hard way. Or by luck. If you read Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series, I find good writing ideas the way she catches her FTAs. In other words, she gets there in the end, but my God, what a horror show.
Well, I only intended to blab on for a sentence or two about what I've been doing with my waking hours these last few days. It just got away from me. Shocking, I know.
What I meant to blog about was the kids. That would be C-Man and H-Girl. For those of you not up to speed, they are not my kids. They are my ex-husband's kids. However, they are as close to kids as I will ever get, so I do try and maintain some form of contact with them. Ironically, I talked to them more when I was in Florida than I do now. I think I spent more time with them then, too. They would come down for a week at a time on holidays and during the summer, etc. Since I have been back here, I have felt so lousy that I have barely seen them. We talk some. And that is where I was going with this post....
I thought of it when I read this post. It was a truly lovely post about mothers and daughters. Of course, in this case, all mothers and daughters are grown-ups, and in that stage where you are now able to be friends.
I called the kids' cell, which is primarily H-Girls, about a week ago. C-Man answered it and we had a really nice conversation. However, this is not unusual. C-Man has not been problematic. He and I talk easily. That boggles me a bit because when they were little it was the other way around. C-Man was the one who constantly gave me grief and H-Girl was the one who wanted to spend time with me. She was the one who was no trouble. Well.... we had been talking for quite a while, when H-Girl yells from her room that C-Man needs to get off the phone, b/c he is using up her minutes. I knew that they were at my former mother-in-law's house, and I would have called on her landline, except the last time I did that I was told to call on the cell, because I was in their Top 5Faves, so I didn't use their minutes. I asked C-Man to ask H-Girl if I was in the Top 5 Faves (of course, I can hear everything).
The answer: Not anymore. I was removed to make room for one of her friends. Uggghhh. So, I told C-Man that I would call him on the landline and hung up. I did and we talked some more. I then talked to H-Girl for about 5 minutes. She couldn't think of more than 5 minutes worth of talking points before handing me back to her brother. Again....UGGGGHHH.
This was a Saturday night and they do go to church in the morning. (This is to prepare you for what is about to happen, but what has not yet happened.) C-Man asks me if I remember this dream that I had about him back when we lived in the old house. I remember it vividly. I am surprised that he remembers it at all. However, C-Man surprised me then with the things that he was paying attention to that I said (when I thought he was totally ignoring me) and continues to surprise me now.
For some of you this dream is going to have you thinking that I have lost my mind. That is okay. I think so too, some days. But not because of this dream. Others of you are going to think that... You know what? Just go with it. Open your mind to the world of possibility and the fact that we don't know it all and go with it.
Now, there is what I know to be true and what I told to C-Man. Those are two different things. Sometimes you have to go with that, too.
What I know to be true:
I was astrally projecting. We do that quite frequently when we dream. I was on The Other Side. Also known as Heaven. We go there quite often because it is Home. I was in The Hall of Records. We go there quite frequently, too, to check out our life path and the life path of people in our lives. I was looking at C-Man's lifepath in the record book. I think it must have been the first time I had done this. His lifepath was Important. Big. I read it and felt this weight of responsibility. This kid had to be okay because what he was supposed to contribute to the world was Bigger.Than.All.Of.Us. When I woke up, I couldn't remember the details. I didn't know what IT was. I remembered standing in the Hall of Records. I could see myself turning the pages. I could even see finding his name. But the actual information that came after...gone. All I had was the knowing. The certainty. The feeling that I had when I read it.
What I Told Him Then:
I don't know. I probably stuck to the basics of the dream. Left out words like astrally projecting, Other Side, Hall of Records, but kept the rest in. I probably told him at a time when I felt like he needed to hear it.
What I Told Him Sat Night:
Pretty much the same thing leaving out the same words as before. We were halfway through it when his grandma started hollering that he needed to get off the phone NOW. (He had church in the morning and he needed to take a shower and get ready for bed, etc.) Of course, he needed to hear the rest, so I told it. He got in trouble (I'm sure) for it. If it were me, I'd take a scolding to know what was underneath my name in The Book if it says that I am going to do something so important that it changes the world for the better. Yep, scold away.
