CAN WE PRETEND?

I have posted before about my insomnia. Nothing new there. Well... I think that I mentioned that one of the things that I have recently tried is cutting the TV down to "3" (volume) and changing the channel to HGTV. That would be Home Garden Television for those of you not in the know. My mom loves that channel. It has been fairly effective at knocking me out. At that time of night, they usually run back to back episodes of HOUSE HUNTERS. If I can focus in on the show, and shut out my mental craziness, I will often nod off.


Well, I had a particularly bad night earlier this week. I was up until REALLY LATE. So, that meant that I didn't wake up until REALLY LATE. If I am not up by noon, my mom is knocking on my door. She has this fear that I might accidentally overdose myself in the middle of the night. It is actually a valid fear. When you have a rager of a migraine, you can forget what meds you have taken and how much. I used to scare myself sometimes when I lived alone. Hence, the notepad and the need to write this crap down. However, when you aren't thinking clearly sometimes you forget to write it down. It's a crazy circle. Anyway, at noon she knocks on my door to check if I am alive. Sometimes she waits until 12:30. Whatever.

I think that this particular day it was more like 12:30 and I was alive. I felt terrible, but I was breathing. Terrible migraine. But still here. HGTV was still running on my TV. I took my pain meds, grabbed a granola bar out of the nightstand, ate it in bed, and waited. A half hour later, the world looked much more promising. And then the most amazing thing happened. You aren't going to believe this sh*t. Actually, this isn't going to have quite the same impact because I haven't complained on here about HGTV the way I have in the "real world." BORING is the word that I trumpet the most loudly and frequently.

INCOME PROPERTY came on. Scott McGillivray comes in and assesses someone's house (at their request), if they have extra space that they want to turn into a rental, and he (and his team) does the renovation. I turned the volume up to "9" and was transfixed. Start to finish. Was the renovation cool? Absolutely. Did I learn a lot? Oh yeah. Was Scott so hot he set my television on fire? Definitely. You are thinking very loudly, Purple Cow. I know I am having a mid-life meltdown. Let me enjoy it.



I've discovered that INCOME PROPERTY comes on weekdays at 1:00 pm and weekends at 11:30am, so I have to plan accordingly. Well, today, after INCOME PROPERTY, I got sucked into two episodes of DESIGNED TO SELL, and there were NO hot men in sight. That was an entire hour of just digging the whole remodeling crap. Uh oh. My mom's favorite show on HGTV is HOLMES ON HOMES. He is not a hottie, but he is handy. They ran several ads for his show while I was glued to the TV today and they started to look good. The show... not the guy.



I am pretty sure it's official. I am turning into my mother. Pretty soon we will be hanging out in the living room together on Sunday nights waiting for HOLMES ON HOMES to come on and discussing things like plumbing. And that wasn't sexual innuendo ~ I mean plumbing, as in for reals. And fixtures. Heaven help me.

Now that doesn't mean I am not going to ogle Scott on INCOME PROPERTY for thirty minutes every day. You bet your sweet your a**, I will definitely be doing that. People, I have to ogle something! And he is HANDY. He knows how to use a hammer, wrench, and all of those other manly tools. Right Guy was HANDY. He was/is a mechanic. Yeah, I like a man who knows his way around a shop and knows what to do with his hands. Unfortunately, I am fairly certain my chances of re-jumpstarting my relationship with Right Guy are only slightly better than my chances with Scott. And that is nil, because Scott is newly married. Right Guy slept through his plane and he missed it.



Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now. Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now.

And it seems like yesterday it was just a dream, but those days are gone, they're just memories. And it seems like yesterday it was just a dream, but those days are gone.

Cuz he never risked shit he hopes and he wished it, but it didn’t fall in his lap so he ain’t even here he pretends that…
Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now. Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now.

ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO CARRY THAT?

Okay, this blog is about to become all about my nocturnal activities. I tell you something... that would be much more exciting reading if I had a boyfriend!

Well, it is what it is.

Last night at approximately 9pm I was actually feeling tired. My first thought was to put a movie in the DVD player and then be ready for bed at my usual time ~ 11pm. My second thought was: why wait? If I am feeling sleepy now, why not just go on to bed? You might actually get a decent night of sleep.

Isn't that hilarious?

At 11pm, I was wishing I had watched the movie. At midnight, I listened to my meditational CD again. When it clicked off and I was still wide awake, it is a reasonable assumption that I was ticked. I was also thinking about Purple Cow's onions in the bowl suggestion from a previous blog, but didn't feel like cutting onions in the middle of the night. Plus, I couldn't remember the rest of the instructions. Grrrrr.

Plus I was hot. I really like to sleep in cooler temps than my parents. Plus, I always have the misfortune to end up in the hottest room in the house. How does this happen? It was that way in FL, and it happened again here. What up with that?

So, I opened my door (not so keen on that) and waved the cooler air in and went back to bed. I turned on the TV, cut the volume down to "2," and noticed that my TV was still on Soapnet. Clearly, I hadn't watched anything since Friday. I watch General Hospital at 10pm on Soapnet during the week. It is my winding down time before bed. If One Life To Live is particularly good, I wind down one hour earlier. The thing is that All My Children comes on at 8pm weekdays. It hasn't been good enough in a long time for me to wind down that early. I have my book and my blog, so All My Children just hasn't been "grabbing" me. It isn't that I don't know who the characters are or what is happening. I see the commercials during my other shows. And I have watched it in the past.


So.... at 12:45 All My Children from Monday is on Soapnet. Perfect, thinks I. This should be a snoozefest. I roll over with my back to the television. Remember the volume is on "2," so I can barely hear it. JR comes in yelling at Annie to kiss him. What the hell? I sit straight up in bed, crank the volume up to "4" and watch the two of them yell at each other, followed by several bouts of kissing and more yelling. What just happened says me to me? The show cuts to other scenes. Blah blah blah. Then commercial. More blah blah blah. Finally it comes back to JR and Annie who are still yelling and kissing. That is punctuated by his leaving with a slammed door and then his cousin, Scott, walks in shortly after. Annie boohoos about JR ruining her time with Scott, but says she "told" JR to leave. Say what? Then more blah blah blah. That was when I realized that this was Monday's show. In a few minutes, Tuesday's show would start and they would keep coming until they got through Friday.

I immediately dug around for the channel changer. *Danger Will Robinson.* I had to get off this channel. I would be up all night on this channel. I clicked until I found HGTV. House and Garden TV. My mother loves this show. It knocks me right out. I set it back to "2." When I felt myself getting woozy, I turned it off.

Right now, I find myself eyeballing the clock. It is ten minutes to eight. Do I really want to get sucked back into All My Children? Not really. Although, I do have to admit that JR is one of the more compelling characters on that show. In fact, I have been thinking about him on and off all day today. Not so much that scene with Annie that I watched last night, but this other time. Back in 2005, I watched AMC for the first time. It was JR that lured me in then, too. Back then he was involved with Babe. That is really not a great name btw, but the actress was really something. And they were electric together. Anyway, I was still working, when I could at that time (I was in sales and spent a lot of time in my car), and I would listen to my soaps on the radio. I was driving down the road when they aired these scenes (the ones below). In fact, I never even saw them until today. Anyway, JR hit me in the heart that day SO HARD that I started crying and couldn't stop. I had to pull over because I couldn't see to drive the car. Yep, that's some pretty serious crying. Oh yeah, you have to turn off my music player at the bottom of the page....








Anyway, if you watched the videos you know that it was all about forgiveness. Forgiveness is a powerful thing. It's a beautiful thing.

So, did it make you cry? Did you fall in love with JR just a little bit? Did it make you want to run out and tell someone that you're sorry? Did you realize you were carrying a heavy load hauling all that anger around when you watched that? Didn't it make you want to put it down?