The Soundtrack of My Life, The Little Train That Could

Last Friday featured an Aha Moment! replete with the taste of victory. The party isn't over this week.

I went into high school with very specific intentions. (Please note that I think Life works better when we direct our energy with Intention.)

1) Maintain a 4.0 GPA
2) Sing with Girls Glee in 10th grade, Girls Glee and Concert Choir 11th grade, and Concert Choir and Swing Choir (a select group requiring audition and the pinnacle of the singing possibilities at my high school) 12th grade. (To do this I NEVER had a lunch period for the last three years of my high school "career.")
3) Take Drama class, Audition for and Be in Plays (2 a year), and in 12th grade be in the Select Ensemble (another audition group)

How did all of that living with intention work out?

I graduated with a 4.0 GPA.

I surprised myself by getting a lead role in the play Up The Down Staircase my junior year. Two leads my senior year.

I was a part of the Select Ensemble my senior year and the Swing Choir.

That hottie in the yellow boots is me (Mammy Yokum). I has spoken!

The aspects of my life that I focused on with intention ALL happened. I also became friends with many people I went to junior high school with (the richies) because they shared similar goals. Instead of being divided over economic difference, we were united in achieving goals. So, I got along with the smart kids, the drama kids, and the choir kids. Quite frankly, I didn't know how good I had it (or that living with Intention is the key to making your dreams come true). It's somewhat sad that I peaked in "smarts" after the 12th grade... Just sayin'.

Since I loved the show Fame and this song sums up my feelings about this time period, it's only fitting. I can do anything better than you can! Just stand aside and watch me fly!




Have you ever noticed that when you live with Intention you are the driver of your car, the captain of your ship, the shaper of your destiny? When you live with Intention, anything is possible!


If you're enjoying these posts, feel free to share your own Soundtrack. This isn't a hop. No requirements at all, but a suggestion to do it one song at a time. (If you participated in the hop several years ago, you can still do this. Just post them one song at a time, with the freedom to add more songs if you'd like.) I'll link to all participants at the bottom of each of these posts:

StMcC Presents BATTLE OF THE BANDS

DAY 2: DEAR CRUSH

Dear Marshall,

I have spent the last month trying to separate the man from the personas that you have created. I have read up on your story, listened to lots of your songs, am planning on watching your movie, but I think people continually evolve. You caught my attention with your most recent songs Not Afraid and I Love The Way You Lie. I understand that Airplanes 2 is also a recent recording. When I compare those songs to the earlier songs, I can see how much you've grown. Although, Lose Yourself, which is from 8 Mile, indicates that you were already beginning to move in this direction.

I understand why the songs that launched your career were so angry (Slim Shady), and contrite (Eminem), and moderated (Marshall Mathers). You explain that in Lose Yourself. "What if you had just one shot, one chance, would you take it?" You needed all of that to take your shot, and it worked. You were punching through the floor, instead of walking through the door, because you weren't invited into what was an all-black hip hop club. You had to work 10x harder to prove you were as good as they were. And you did it. In fact, I think you exceeded your own expectations. I don't think anyone knows what the downside of fame is going to feel like until it arrives on their doorstep. You weren't prepared. Your wife wasn't prepared and no one is writing a handbook. By the way, I am a writer. If you want to work on that project together, that would be totally cool. HOW TO DEAL WITH FAME: A BEGINNER'S GUIDE. I can see that wouldn't be your kind of title. HOW TO DEAL WITH FAME: KNOWING WHEN IT'S TIME TO TELL PEOPLE TO TAKE IT THROUGH THE MIDDLE FINGER. Yeah, the title is a little too long. We can work on it.

Anyway, the music was awesome. You were being paid to do what you loved. You had lots of anger issues from your childhood and it was therapeutic letting it out. But then the fame itself generated crap all on its own. Your marriage went to hell twice and that made for more anger than you could handle. You started doing drugs to take the edge off, because it was all just too much. And you had to have been thinking, "When did the dream turn into a nightmare?" And still you wrote because you had to or you would explode. The hate was so intense. The only love you had in your heart was for your daughter and your ex-wife was making that relationship hard on you. Nothing was coming easy.

Life was teaching you so many lessons and they were all bad. Trust no one. Love no one. There is no such thing as loyalty. Everyone screws you over in the end. Count on no one but yourself. The public will love you as long you are successful, but they will turn on you like wolves. Everyone is out for number one, so you better be out for number one, too. Screw forgiveness. You tried that with Kim and she just screwed you again. Fool me once, shame on you . Fool me twice, shame on me. Friends are only your friends based on your success rate. You really are in this thing alone. The only person who loves me for me are my daughters. That is it. That is the only part of my heart that is open. Everyone else can keep the hell out because I don't trust you, don't need you, don't want you, and don't believe you. The need and want part might be a lie, but the don't believe part is true, and makes the need and want part too scary.

I know a little bit how you feel. Friends have let me down. The last three relationships I have been in have been horrific. Well, two out of three anyway. But they were all very painful. You do that enough times and you get scared of even trying again. It's easier to have superficial relationships than to have a relationship with someone real. A real person has the capacity to hurt you. You and I are a lot alike. We are both on this road of reclamation; we are in the process of reclaiming our lives. You have already come so far by going to drug rehab, for you and no one else, and owning that. However, in order to really gain any ground, you have to go all the way. You have to spend some time digging out your pain, looking at it, and letting go. That is how you get your life back. Eventually, you will meet someone, hopefully not in the fame business, who is a real person and you will be cautious about the whole thing, but you will let her in. And it will be a beautiful day to start out the rest of your life. I am hoping for the same kind of thing for myself. It's not healthy going through this world alone. However, it isn't healthy jumping into something before you have mentally and emotionally "cleaned house."

Wishing you much happiness,
Robin


image blatantly ripped off from Miss Angie at My So-Called Chaos