BOTB Results and SOML ~ Promised Land

If you followed the voting (at all) on my last battle, you'll know it wasn't even close. Dave and Vanessa chocked the first two votes and that was it. Those votes saved them from a Shut-Out, because The Strokes ran away with it after that. I found The Strokes video first and the duet second. I wanted something different, which is why I chose the duet, but I also wanted something competitive. Different: yes. Competitive: not so much. I really like Dave Stewart in that duo, but didn't care much for Vanessa Paradis. From your comments, many of you felt the same way. Ergo, The Strokes took it by a huge margin. Oh, and Lou Reed got one vote, despite the fact that he wasn't in the contest. He nearly tied Dave and Vanessa... sigh.

Let's move on from that disappointing bit of business.

I'm going to do something fairly unusual for me and "nutshell" a big chunk of my NYC story.

J1 joined the Army and requested placement in Germany, which he got. We went through the letter fiasco, the him not calling, and finally the me calling him, followed by a brief meet during his layover in NYC. I don't know what would've happened if Desert Storm hadn't happened. Had he just remained in Germany (likely not calling me), I think the relationship would've just died a fairly quiet death. The ole out with a whimper versus the bang.

Instead, Desert Storm did happen. That generated terror all the way around. I lived in a constant state of anxiety to the point that I developed enough severe gastro-ntestinal issues to seek medical help. I can say with certainty that an Upper GI is no fun. Fortunately, I didn't require the Lower GI for them to see the problem. I also discovered therapy. As for J1, I suspect being in that high stress situation caused him to hold on when he might otherwise have let go. (No, it never occurred to me at the time that if not for his facing death on a daily basis, he wouldn't have been so interested in connection with me. Or, to put it more plainly, if he was just living it up in Germany, he might've met some nice German girl!) However, he wasn't meeting nice German girls. He was in the desert concerned about his next breath.

So, in the irony of ironies, this actually brought us closer. He used what phone calls he had to call me or his parents. I ended up calling his parents and becoming very good friends with his mother. J1 and I didn't talk daily, but I did talk daily with his mother. It sounds strange on paper, but the reality was it felt very normal. We were both scared to death for his safety and loved him. The bond formed easily.

As for my daily reality: I liked my job. I made some good friends at work. Sag, Jennifer the Second, and I liked living together (in Queens). In 1991, Jennifer the Second and I moved to Manhattan and Sag moved in with her boyfriend. That was also good. We spent a good deal of our free time in that Queens apartment playing cards and listening to music. The song that sticks with me is this one. I always thought of J1 when it played. I realize (now) that it took me a really long time to allow myself to be angry with him for his choices (choosing the Army, choosing Germany, choosing not to call me, etc.). It took even longer for me to accept I was angry with myself. But, it must've been there all along, because when this song played it resonated with me.

My blood is running dry, my skin is
My skin is growing thin 

For every time you find yourself
You lose a little bit of me 

Honey, from within 

It's just a raging cycle
Why can't we bring it all to the end of the line (I'd like to bring it to the end of the line)
From inside this existence, oh sweetheart
Time is not on my side

I'm lonely tonight, I'm missing you now
I'm wanting your love and you're giving it out

I'm not your promised land

I'm not your promised one

I'm the not the land of Canaan

Waiting for you under the sun

I'm lonely tonight

If you're enjoying these posts, feel free to share your own Soundtrack. This isn't a hop. No requirements at all, but a suggestion to do it one song at a time. (If you participated in the hop several years ago, you can still do this. Just post them one song at a time, with the freedom to add more songs if you'd like.) I'll link to all participants at the bottom of each of these posts:

StMcC Presents BATTLE OF THE BANDS

Cherdo on the Flipside 

Holli's Hoots and Hollers 

THE DOGLADY'S DEN 

Mean Who You Are

Wrote By Rote

Battle of the Bands/Soundtrack ~ The Wild Side

Once again, Battle of the Bands has collided with Soundtrack of My Life.

Let's begin with the story.

I lived in NYC from 1990-1992 and worked in the Publicity Department at St. Martin's Press. That department was full of some fun characters. It was my first experience working with gay men, and I must say that was eye opening. I'd go into a meeting just hoping to get through it and, more than once, one of the fellas would come up to me after the meeting to tell me he had an excellent idea for how I should wear my hair, fashion accessories that I really should try, or just general clothing advice. Sadly, I needed all three, so those tips were always appreciated.

Notice the fancy haircut AND the manicured nails! Not to mention... the DRESS!

We had one guy in our department (also newly graduated from college) who was not gay. His name was Len. He and I became very good friends. I think it's because I was so welcoming on his first day. Or that first meeting. Not sure which came first. But, he walked in and there was an open seat next to me. He paused and I said, "Sit down. I don't bite." I probably should've added most of the time, but it worked. He sat, and we became friends.

I'd like to say I taught him all sorts of handy things. Sadly, I think the reverse was true. Through him, I learned a whole bunch about hockey I never knew. Did you know it is the sport with the longest season? I didn't know that. He also took me to a Rangers game (which was super fun). He worked the "free stuff exchange" like nobody's business. He gave me some of the cassettes (yeah, I said cassettes) and CDs he didn't want. I also learned a wee bit about what it was to be Jewish. In short, he was one of the coolest people I'd met in my life, and I felt really privileged he wanted to be MY friend. We even exchanged mix tapes (on cassette). If you want to know where you rate on my scale, only people I think of as the "best of the best" get a mix tape. Through that experience I learned the way to end a mix tape is with The Beatles montage of Golden Slumbers/Carry That Weight/The End. In point of fact, whenever I hear those songs I always think of  Len.


In 1992, St. Martin's published the book A Low Life In High Heels: The Holly Woodlawn Story. The entire department was invited to the book party at a place called The Limelight.

The Limelight

Do you see the resemblance to a castle? Perfect for Halloween or a dress up party, no? Well, this was a dress up party. Holly Woodlawn is the Holly from A Walk On The Wild Side by Lou Reed. "Holly came from Miami FLA..." Holly brought all of his his/her friends to this book party. (Pronouns still are confusing for me when it comes to cross dressing.) Fortunately, I'd already experienced this phenomena several times already, so I was now a pro at this sort of thing. A few days ago, I sent an email to Len asking if he remembered this party. HE DID. He said the thing that stuck with him was seeing the people shooting up in the bathroom (and feeling so tame in comparison). I'm so glad I didn't see that. What I remembered from this party was a dude dressed like a lady in western wear, including the holster and toy guns. I was standing next to Len when this "cowgirl" raised her gun and shot it at Len. He grabbed my arm and said, "See that guy in the cowboy outfit. He just fired his gun at me!" Once again, I was the bridesmaid and not the bride!

Here is a picture of Len and I from one of our many nights out after all the work was done (but not the night of The Limelight party):

Other bloggers participating in the Soundtrack of My Life:

StMcC Presents BATTLE OF THE BANDS

Cherdo on the Flipside 

Holli's Hoots and Hollers 

THE DOGLADY'S DEN 

Mean Who You Are

Wrote By Rote


If you were paying attention during the story, you probably already guessed the song for this installment of Battle of the Bands. Walk On The Wild Side. Not including the Lou Reed version as it would run away with it, but I think I found two good covers.

The first is by a band called The Strokes.



The second is by Dave Stewart and Vanessa Paradis (don't watch if you are influenced by the video).


Please vote for the version of this song you prefer. If you want to get into the Ins and Outs of why you like one better than the other... I LOVE long comments!

For more Battle of the Bands fun, check out the other BOTB bloggers to vote on their battles:

• Far Away Series 
• Stephen T. McCarthy's Battle of the Bands Blog
• Tossing it Out
• DiscConnected (temporarily disconnected from BoTB)
• Mike's Ramblings
• Curious as a Cathy 
• Book Lover
• The Sound of One Hand Typing
• dcrelief ~ Battle of the Bands 
• Cherdo on the Flipside 
• Angels Bark 
• THE DOGLADY'S DEN 
• Jingle Jangle Jungle 
• Janie Junebug Righting and Editing
• NovelBrews
• J.A. Scott
• Quiet Laughter
• Holli's Hoots and Hollers 
• beReInVintaged 

The Soundtrack of My Life, I Think I Missed A Turn

Since I'm still at camp, I'm not going to burden you with a Battle of the Bands post. I have no way of listening to your posts. I'm out of (internet) for the rest of the month. If you missed the post in which I begged and pleaded (not really, but I am now!) for letters, here is the address at which you can write me:

Robin Richards aka Mergan

Stony Glen Camp
5300 W. Loveland Rd
Madison, OH 44057

What is a Mergan? It's short for merganser, as in duck. One of the things every graduating CILT (Counselor In Leadership Training) member does is pick a Bird Name. Yeah, a Bird Name. Well, I didn't want to be left out of that fun. No was was I going with "Robin," so for the weeks I'm at camp, I'm Mergan. I will be at camp until August 1. I hope to hear from you:)

Okay, so I totally skipped an important aspect of my personality that hit epic levels my sophomore year. For the record, I can't blame this on my parents' divorce or anything really. It was all ME.

I was geographically challenged. Always. I got lost in my hometown when I first started driving. Fact.

So, when Erika and I roadtripped to New York for the Fall Break I really should've known better than to attempt a solo trip from her home town to Princeton, NJ to visit one of my best high school friends. Erika's father gave me directions. It consisted of approximately four turns (or interstate changes). He said it was easy. Easy peasy.

I guess I blew by one of my exits and missed a crucial interstate junction. Missed it. Didn't have an atlas to correct the problem. Didn't really know I had a problem until I reached a sign indicating I was going through the Lincoln Tunnel into NYC.

Yep. The Freakin' Lincoln Tunnel. Into NYC.

I knew that was WRONG.

And that was when I hit the anxiety pedal hard. If you've never seen someone go from mildly upset (thinking that maybe, just maybe they've gone awry) to a full blown panic attack, I can assure you that switch flips in one second, so I was in full meltdown by the time I pulled up to the toll booth. Oh yeah, I was gonna have to pay to go to a place I absolutely did not want to go. The gal in the toll booth got the shock of her life when I pulled up. I could barely talk through the sobbing. I told her I was lost. I wanted to go to PRINCETON.

She said this was not the way to Princeton. I was going to New York City.

"But I don't wanna go to New York City," I howled.

She said, "Well, you're not backing up." And then she waived the fee and waved me on through.

I came to an intersection with the option of left turn (bad), right turn (bad), or straight into a parking garage. I opted for the garage. But parked right there on the sidewalk. No way was I getting lost in a parking garage. Still wailing, I crawled out of my car (really didn't ever want to get back in, but didn't want to stay either!). The parking attendant approaches me with trepidation (as well he should've) and I tell him my tale of woe with a plea for directions.

He says, "No habla Ingles." He politely waited until I detailed the problem in full before making this pronouncement.

No habla Ingles. Oh crap. But he said he'd find someone. At least, I was pretty sure that was what he said because he came back with a guy who spoke some English. And we worked it out in sign language and pig latin what my problem was. The solution was less clear. The upshot was I missed my turn. Shocking, I know.

I went back through the tunnel and finally made it to Princeton and my friend, turning a three hour trip into a five hour nightmare. (This trip is significant because for YEARS any time I would get lost I would downshift into full blown panic, whether it was reasonable or not. It would take a job requiring lots of travel in unusual places to cure me of this crazy phobia.)

Back to the story... So, I pull into the campus parking lot and my friend comes out to greet me and she says, "Thank God you're here. You wouldn't believe the day I've had!!!"

Well I came home
Like a stone
And I fell heavy into your arms
These days of dust
Which we've known
Will blow away with this new sun

But I'll kneel down
Wait for now
And I'll kneel down
Know my ground

And I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you

So break my step
And relent
You forgave and I won't forget
Know what we've seen
And him with less
Now in some way
Shake the excess

And I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you

Now I'll be bold
As well as strong
And use my head alongside my heart
So take my flesh
And fix my eyes
A tethered mind free from the lies

But I'll kneel down
Wait for now
I'll kneel down
Know my ground

Raise my hands
Paint my spirit gold
And bow my head
Keep my heart slow

'Cause I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you

Have you ever been really, really lost? How did you react? Did you get over your fear of being lost?

If you're enjoying these posts, feel free to share your own Soundtrack. This isn't a hop. No requirements at all, but a suggestion to do it one song at a time. (If you participated in the hop several years ago, you can still do this. Just post them one song at a time, with the freedom to add more songs if you'd like.) I'll link to all participants at the bottom of each of these posts:

StMcC Presents BATTLE OF THE BANDS

Cherdo on the Flipside 

Holli's Hoots and Hollers 

THE DOGLADY'S DEN