Many of you had LOTS to say about J1 in the last Battle/Soundtrack post. And you were all right. And all wrong. Dontcha hate it when that happens?!?!
You were right in the fact that I should've told him how I felt. If he didn't care, I should've told him adios and farewell. But, I didn't. And that is the part of the story we should all take away here. This is MY soundtrack. J1 is merely a supporting player.
Even though he "treated me mean and treated me cruel," I still loved him. And wanted to see him. And looked forward to the day when I'd see him again.
Those days didn't come as often as I wanted. I do remember him driving to see me after the Christmas break and once more a few months later.
The thing was it was always fantastic when he was there. It always felt horrible after he left. And worse yet when he stayed gone.
For anyone who's been in a relationship where you feel way more invested than the other person.... well, chances are you're way more invested than the other person.
I think J1 was completely overwhelmed by his life. His family. Trying to please his dad. And he cared about me, but not enough to really make me a priority. However, whenever he came around I dropped everything.
Yeah, it wasn't healthy.
There was never an official Break Up. But, after that second visit things changed. I got tired of the unreturned phone calls or the calls that were supposed to come that didn't. I got tired of always coming in last. So, we never officially said "this is it," but I stopped going out of my way to try and make him notice me. Not saying that it didn't hurt or that I stopped loving him (because that would've been way too healthy!), but I stopped initiating. And when that happened, he disappeared off my grid... until he didn't. But, that's another blog bit.
WHY DON'T YOU LIKE ME WITHOUT MAKING ME TRY?
I TRIED TO BE LIKE GRACE KELLY
BUT ALL HER LOOKS WERE TOO SAD
SO I TRY A LITTLE FREDDIE
I'VE GONE IDENTITY MAD!
I COULD BE BROWN
I COULD BE BLUE
I COULD BE VIOLET SKY
I COULD BE HURTFUL
I COULD BE PURPLE
I COULD BE ANYTHING YOU LIKE
WHY DON'T YOU LIKE LIKE ME?
WHY DON'T YOU WALK OUT THE DOOR!
WHY DON'T YOU LIKE ME?
WHY DON'T YOU LIKE ME?
WHY DON'T YOU LIKE YOURSELF?
BUT YOU ONLY WANT WHAT EVERYBODY ELSE SAYS YOU SHOULD WANT
HUMPHREY, WE'RE LEAVING!
If you're enjoying these posts, feel free to share your own Soundtrack. This isn't a hop. No requirements at all, but a suggestion to do it one song at a time. (If you participated in the hop several years ago, you can still do this. Just post them one song at a time, with the freedom to add more songs if you'd like.) I'll link to all participants at the bottom of each of these posts:
StMcC Presents BATTLE OF THE BANDS
Cherdo on the Flipside
Holli's Hoots and Hollers
THE DOGLADY'S DEN
Mean Who You Are
Wrote By Rote
