At last post, things are looking good in high school, no?
All of the things I knew I wanted (and had specific ideas on how to achieve them) happened.
Did you see the movie Constantine? (I really like this movie if you haven't watched it!) One of the (many) things I loved: There's always a catch.
So, what's the catch?
I really wanted a boyfriend. In fact, I felt tremendous pressure about the whole thing. My dad's mother quizzed me on it every visit. And if it wasn't a quiz, it was the comments thrown out as hooks, "I bet you're beating the boys off the porch."
Nope. No boys. No porch incidents. (Unpretty remember? Oh, the things we think we leave behind, want to leave behind, and Look! There they are!)
There was, in point of fact, one cute boy my senior year. When the reality of dating collided with the theory of dating, I panicked and broke up with him. Real mature I know. (I'm laughing to myself right now.) There were several truths at work here. The false truth that I wasn't really pretty, kind, or good enough to have a boyfriend. The actual truth that I had NO CLUE what to do with a boyfriend. (And that has somehow remained true... hmm.)
Anyway, for all of the amazing, excellent, wonderful things manifesting in my life... I felt very alone. It was an aloneness that actually extended beyond my lack of a boyfriend. There is aloneness that exists in which you feel like no one will ever really understand you. That kind of alone. I didn't even have words to express that feeling until THIS SONG.
Some friends of mine loved this duo and gave me a mix tape of their songs. As a child of the 80s, it was NEW to me. And wonderful. I have no words for how much I loved them then (and now). I bought their record (yes, I said record) Sounds of Silence and listened to it constantly. But, it was the last song on Side B that stabbed me where I stood. Or in my case, at least most of the time, laid. The song before it was We've Got A Groovy Thing Goin'. That song made me dance around my room singing into my hairbrush (if you've not done this, you are so missing out!). But then THIS SONG came on and I just dropped onto my bed. When it was over, I would pick up the needle and play it again. And again. And again. I can still remember my mother yelling from another room in our house, "Robin, please play something else. I can't stand it any longer."
It was like a mix tape wherein all of Side A was THIS SONG. (Yeah, I'm looking at you, Stephen T. McCarthy.)
Have you ever felt that no one would ever really get you?
If you're enjoying these posts, feel free to share your own Soundtrack. This isn't a hop. No requirements at all, but a suggestion to do it one song at a time. (If you participated in the hop several years ago, you can still do this. Just post them one song at a time, with the freedom to add more songs if you'd like.) I'll link to all participants at the bottom of each of these posts:
StMcC Presents BATTLE OF THE BANDS
Cherdo on the flipside
