The Soundtrack of My Life, A Good Time to Assume

I don't normally comment on "stat stuff," but I noticed that this is my 800th post on this blog. Can you believe it???

This is still the summer of 1988 and I'm still selling books door-to-door in Colorado. This was a revelatory sort of job for me, though I wouldn't understand the ramifications for years.

So, there were reasons I was successful at this door-to-door sales thing, and they were thus:

I memorized well and could deliver  the presentation conversationally, AND when I made my pitch I sold the whole set. I never broke it up because if they were going to buy, they would buy it ALL.  

I am not going to bore you with every sale I made ~ heck I can't remember every sale I made.

I vividly remember going up to this blue house on a cul de sac (would you believe that I can still picture this house but I can't remember some of the names of my good friends ~ egads) and the mother of the household answering. It was a Saturday (prime day). I gave her my get in the door pitch and she responded like this, "I would love to look at your books but my husband is TOO CHEAP (this thrown over the shoulder in a very loud voice for the said husband's benefit)! He is SO CHEAP that he does things like this.." At this precise moment her two children come out the front door carrying their bikes. "He makes our children carry their bikes out the door because he doesn't like the wear and tear on the garage door opener." Again, all of this was not directed to me, but to the invisible husband.

I backed up fast and said something like, "Well, this isn't a good time. I will come back later."  I hastily got out of Dodge and made a notation in my notebook.

That isn't the end of this story.   

I was back in this same neighborhood trying to eliminate everyone from my list as either buyers or not.  I found myself back on that same cul de sac, and that blue house was the only one that hadn't gone one way or the other.  I was having a Terrible Day and decided to nail the lid on the coffin by going back to that blue house. The husband answered the door, the wife wasn't home, and I honestly never expected to make it off the porch. Wonder of wonders.... I got in.  Normally, I wouldn't go into a home where just the husband was there, but the kids were in a room that was visible from the kitchen, and I felt okay with it.  He was nice.  However, I was still caught up in the Bike Incident of that Saturday and Intimidated.  I was so convinced that he WASN'T GOING TO BUY that I only showed him three books out of the set.  I departed from my usual pitch, because I made the decision for him about what he would and would not buy.  I was trying to minimize my time investment in the call.  Big mistake.  Huge.  I got done and he never even gave me a closing argument.  All he said was, "Do you take a credit card?"  

Holy crap.  Yes, I did.  And while he was getting his wallet I was mentally kicking myself down the street.  Never ever assume what your buyer will buy.  In fact, go into every sale assuming that they will buy.  You assume it and more often than not... they do.

Only later would I look back on this very successful summer at door-to-door sales and understand that sales is my Ideal Career Path.  If you can make money in door-to-door sales, which is the toughest gig  going, commission sales on consumable goods is a cakewalk .  

Not everyone in our group, but some... (click to enlarge)

Now, I don't have a song to go with this story, though it's a darn good story. However, I do have one more song that I think of when I think of that summer. My father said that the song Baby Blue came out that summer I was in Colorado, and whenever he heard it he thought of me. The way he said it I think it was kind of sad for him. That was not so long after he and my mom divorced, and instead of coming home I opted out entirely to move across the country to sell books. And then it was pretty much straight back to college. I spent very little time "at home," and he probably thought I was pretty much all but gone.

This one's for you, Dad!

Did you have a job that you thought was just a summer job or short-term job, but ending up pointing you towards your ultimate Career Path?  Or a job that you learned a lot of Life Lessons from even if you didn't stay in it forever? Is there a song that one of your parents thought of as "your song?"


If you're enjoying these posts, feel free to share your own Soundtrack. This isn't a hop. No requirements at all, but a suggestion to do it one song at a time. (If you participated in the hop several years ago, you can still do this. Just post them one song at a time, with the freedom to add more songs if you'd like.) I'll link to all participants at the bottom of each of these posts:

StMcC Presents BATTLE OF THE BANDS

Cherdo on the Flipside 

Holli's Hoots and Hollers 

THE DOGLADY'S DEN

The Soundtrack of My Life, Don't Poop on My Parade

In the summer of 1988, for my summer job I was recruited by a fellow student at college to sell books door-to-door.  She had done it the previous summer and made a lot of money.  The books were educational types (though not encyclopedias, if you were wondering).  I don't know why I thought I would be good at this job, but I did.  The training lasted a week in Nashville, TN, which is where the company is headquartered.  They called that week training;  I now call it brainwashing. I still remember repeating things like, "Never go back to your headquarters during the day, " ad nauseum.  It should have been a clue that this job was going to be hard, as in really hard.  Mentally hard.  Physically hard. Okay... hard in every possible way.

About twenty other students from my school, and an equal number from a college in Louisiana and Tennesse combined, road-tripped out to Colorado where we would be selling.  I ended up living with a family in Littleton, Colorado.  Their daughter was selling books for the same company in West Virginia.  Not long after we arrived, it came to me that they moved you as far from home as possible to deter you from quitting.  It was a long ride home alone.  Even so, the number of kids who quit was HIGH.  Heck, I quit four times (at least) that first month.  I about drove my mom crazy.

Anyway, I worked the job pretty much the way they intended for two weeks.  I was exhausted, frustrated, and so many other things.  Then the miracle happened. You won't see this coming... I got diarrhea. Yep, you read that right.  And I had a reason to go back to my headquarters during the day.  I couldn't work like that.  It was sheer bliss.  I have never been before ~ or will ever be ~ as thrilled to have diarrhea as I was that day.  I got to REST... with the exception of the frequent trips to the bathroom.  I remember Ann, my recruiter and direct supervisor,  giving me grief at the end of the day when we did our nightly phone call reporting our sales. She was VERY ANGRY  that I hadn't taken Immodium and gotten right back out there.  Was she nuts?  I hoped it would last another couple of days. Immodium shmodium.  And that was the end of my relationship with Ann.  I became someone that she simply couldn't deal with and that was fine with me.

At one of the many national parks we visited on a Sunday

After I got over my Quit or Not To Quit and decided to stay, I decided to work the job My Way.  That meant I worked until I reached my Sales Quota for the day and then I knocked off.  I got to see a lot of Colorado in my spare time AND kept my sanity.

In the end, there was just me and a French girl named Valerie living at my residence (aside from the family).

Valerie on the right and another friend (who quit) on the left

Valerie was one of the most laid-back people I'd ever met. I remember the boys yanking her chain one morning (rather, trying to yank her chain). I can't remember where she got this bicycle, but I know it was free or darn near. She learned to ride it carrying at 30 pound book bag on her shoulder and fell off repeatedly in the beginning, but she kept at it. At night, she'd lean it against the fence. No chain. No nothing. So, back to the boys and their prank... One morning they yell up the stairs, "Valerie, come quick. Someone's stolen your bike!"

She peeks around the door, waves her hand, and says, "Lucky girl."

They were so disappointed. No one took that bike...

I learned a lot that summer, but I got to see in action what a Type B (or C) personality looks like. Nothing phased Valerie.

I look back on this time and am astounded at the amount of growing and changing that happened in just one summer. You could say I was on a Rocky Mountain High...

 

 

Have you ever had a job that was just really hard?  Did it burn you out?  Or maybe just a summer job that was really bizarre that you wanted to quit? Have you ever met someone like Valerie (or maybe you are someone like Valerie!)?


If you're enjoying these posts, feel free to share your own Soundtrack. This isn't a hop. No requirements at all, but a suggestion to do it one song at a time. (If you participated in the hop several years ago, you can still do this. Just post them one song at a time, with the freedom to add more songs if you'd like.) I'll link to all participants at the bottom of each of these posts:

StMcC Presents BATTLE OF THE BANDS

Cherdo on the Flipside 

Holli's Hoots and Hollers 

THE DOGLADY'S DEN

HERE'S TO YOU THURSDAY

I've been so busy with Soundtrack posts I haven't even thought about trying to put together a HERE'S TO YOU post. Seriously. I've been posting 3 days a week, doing BoTB, and HERE'S TO YOU has been shuffled to the backburner. It's not that I don't get video ideas as I read your blogs, but I tend to just post them on your blog vs. doing the feature. And then I read something tonight that ABSOLUTELY DESERVED to be in a HERE'S TO YOU. That triggered me combing your posts and seeing which posts made me think "video." And this is what I came up with.

Those of you new to this blog: once upon a time this was a (more or less) weekly Thursday feature. And then I sidelined it in favor of my Soundtrack posts. By the way, I just thought of something tonight that should've gone in sophomore year and didn't. I'm gonna have to just insert it late. I apologize for messing up the chronology (again).

Moving on to HERE'S TO YOU. Whether you're new or old to this, sit back, relax, and enjoy! HERE'S TO YOU!!!!

This one is for everyone:



This one is for Dixie at dcrelief ~ BATTLE OF THE BANDS:



This one is for Jeffrey A. Scott at J.A. Scott:



This one is for Holli at Holli's Hoots and Hollers:



This one is for Janie Junebug at WOMEN: WE SHALL OVERCOME:



This one is for Cherdo at Cherdo on the Flipside:

The Soundtrack of My Life, Unwinding My Romance

From the last post you can clearly see that things are headed toward Break Up with J2.

Here's how it went down:

We were both in a sorority and fraternity, and we both had semi-formals in the spring. So, probably several months in advance (one at least) I asked him to go with me to mine. If you will recall, this still felt like shaky ground to me. Nothing could be assumed. Imagine my chagrin when he didn't immediately reciprocate and ask me to go to his.

I remember the anxiety as the date drew closer. My formal was one weekend and his was the following weekend. We were down to one week before mine and nothing from him on this topic. Meanwhile, it's Friday (or Saturday) night and I'm at a party, and very likely well on my way to being smashed, when one of my guy friends from the second floor of my dorm asks me to go to his formal (one of my euchre pals). Obviously, this was dangerous territory. However, it was treacherous since his formal and J2's formal were the same night. In a moment of wild frustration (and plenty 'o anger), I said "Okay." I still didn't have a clue as to the many ways this could go wrong for me.

The "before" picture at my semi-formal

So, what happened?

The topic came up at the worst possible moment: the night of my formal. One of his frat brothers and his girlfriend (who were long-time steadies and OBVIOUSLY going to the semi-formal together) are hanging out with us. We got a hotel room and were all sharing it. So, his friend says, "Next week let's all go hot tubbing. That would be so much fun."

And there it was. The moment of truth. Now, I could've (and should've) kept my big trap shut, waiting for a moment alone with J2 to explain the uncertainty about his formal, the other guy asking, and giving him the option of speaking his mind and clearing up the misunderstanding. Oh, but no, that's not what I did.

I said, "You all can do what you want, but I'm gonna be at the Frater formal."

Well, you could've heard a pin drop in that room. Talk about conversation stopper. It got extremely awkward and I can't say that J2 or I had much fun the rest of the night. Ironically, he didn't say ONE WORD about it. Not a word. I kept waiting and nothing.

The "after" picture...

Another one of my friends was seriously dating one of his housemates so she was at his house the next day (the one after my formal and grand announcement). All the guys were out on the porch talking. She says to me that J2 just said over and over, "I can't believe she did that to me."

Well hell.

There are too many takeaways here to even list. I should've just come out and asked him if I was invited or not. I didn't because I was afraid I was NOT. However, that would've been better than the way events actually unrolled. Instead, I thought I was forcing his hand... making him see what was obvious to me... he hadn't asked me. He should've asked me. I thought, if he planned on us going to his formal together, he would've said something that night. That would've given us time to sort it out and I would've let the other guy know he needed to find another date. (I suppose my announcement that I was gonna be at the other guy's formal might've had something to do with that conversation not happening. I'm such an idiot.)

I shouldn't have assumed anything... from our dating status to what he'd do with my "news." Because it didn't happen even close to how I thought it would.

Instead, he was pissed. He never spoke to me again. Looking at it from his point of view, I can't say I blame him.

This will all fall down like everything else that was
This too shall pass and all of the words we said
We can't take back

Now every fool in town would've left by now
I can't replace all of the wasted days
The memory of your face, I can't help thinkin'

Maybe if we ever coulda kept it all together, where would we be
A thousand lost forevers
And the promises you never were giving me

Here's what I'm thinking

It won't be the first heart that you break
It won't be the last, beautiful girl
The one that you wrecked won't take you back
If you were the last beautiful girl in the world

So tell me one more time
How you're sorry about the way this all went down
You needed to find your space, you needed to still be friends
You needed me to

Call you if I ever couldn't keep it all together you'd comfort me
You tell me about forever
And the promises I never should have believed in

Here's what I'm thinking

It won't be the first heart that you break
It won't be the last beautiful girl
The one that you wrecked won't take you back
If you were the last beautiful girl in the world
Last beautiful girl in the world

It's over now, I've gone without 'cuz you're everyone else's girl
It seems to me, you'll always be everyone else's girl
Everyone else's girl

This will all fall down like everything in the world
This too must end and all of the words we said
We can't take 'em back

And it won't be the first heart that you break
It won't be the last, beautiful girl
The one that you wrecked won't take you back
If you were the last beautiful girl

It won't be the first heart that you break
It won't be the last, beautiful girl
The one that you wrecked won't take you back
If you were the last beautiful girl in the world

The last beautiful girl in the world
You are the last beautiful girl in the world
Beautiful girl

Have you ever royally screwed up a relationship that you really cared about out of fear? An inability to communicate? Or some other misunderstanding?


If you're enjoying these posts, feel free to share your own Soundtrack. This isn't a hop. No requirements at all, but a suggestion to do it one song at a time. (If you participated in the hop several years ago, you can still do this. Just post them one song at a time, with the freedom to add more songs if you'd like.) I'll link to all participants at the bottom of each of these posts:

StMcC Presents BATTLE OF THE BANDS

Cherdo on the Flipside 

Holli's Hoots and Hollers 

THE DOGLADY'S DEN

The Soundtrack of My Life, All The Things You Don't Say (and BoTB Results!)

I just tallied up the results for Battle of the Bands. I knew the vote was going back and forth, but I was SHOCKED when I saw how close this one turned out. For someone who puts these things together, a close vote is the absolute best result possible. It couldn't get any closer in this battle. The song was I'm In. The contenders were Radney Foster vs. The Kinleys. Honestly, I really like both versions. I could/would put them both on my IPod shuffle. BUT, I have to pick one because my vote actually counts in this match-up.

So, how did it turn out?

I lean slightly more toward the Radney Foster version. I think it might have to do with the fact that I've adored the guy for a really long time. I love Abra Moore's voice with his on this song. I just love it.

So here is the final tally, including my vote for Radney Foster:

Radney Foster: 15

The Kinleys : 15

Yep, we got ourselves a tie. I think this has happened once before on this blog, but I could be wrong about that! If you voted, thanks! Come back again on the 1st and we'll do it again with a different song, different singers!!!

In my last post I told you how J1 and were never an "item," but we talked all the time. Well, J2 and I didn't talk enough. I'm not sure exactly what happens in the brain when you decide you're dating, but it's like a trigger is pulled. I didn't want to be the insecure girlfriend, though I was totally the insecure girlfriend. I didn't want to tell him all the crazy things I was thinking. I guess I'd seen that work out not so well with Erika. Heck, even in hindsight I'm not real clear on what happened with this relationship.

But, let me try and pull it into some sort of focus. I suspect J2 was feeling really stressed. He was working, going to school part-time, and trying to date me (which, really, is a full-time job all by itself;). But, seriously, I think maybe he was embarrassed that his life was so hard, and he didn't want to unload his problems on me. What he didn't understand was that it would have made things so much easier if he'd just been honest with me about all the stress in his life.

Instead, I agonized over not hearing from him a week at a time. One of the girls across the hall posted an index card under my phone that read:

A watched teakettle (phone) never boils (rings).

She was so right. I'd spend hours not leaving my room hoping he'd call (he didn't) and then getting mad that he didn't call and that I didn't leave my room. Crazy thinking, I know. I even knew it at the time. But, I didn't want to call him. I wanted him to call me.

I think he was really much more mature about this whole thing and felt like we were good, we were okay, even if we only saw each other on weekends. He didn't feel the need to talk more often than that to feel like he was on solid ground. Little did he know who he was dealing with... or maybe he needed to tell me that's how he felt so I could feel steady, too. Truth was I felt anything but steady. It always felt like I was hours away from getting the Break Up phone call.

So, even though I had a boyfriend I really liked, I never felt confident. Or sure of where I was standing. I think if you'd asked him (before we hit that final straw) what he was thinking, it would've been this song. I have to say Life sure would've been easier if I'd known it was this song. He was always on my mind, too. And I would've done things very differently had I known I was on his...





Have you ever had a relationship fall apart with someone you really cared about because you didn't say all the things you should've said? You didn't tell them how you felt? They didn't know they were always on your mind?


If you're enjoying these posts, feel free to share your own Soundtrack. This isn't a hop. No requirements at all, but a suggestion to do it one song at a time. (If you participated in the hop several years ago, you can still do this. Just post them one song at a time, with the freedom to add more songs if you'd like.) I'll link to all participants at the bottom of each of these posts:

StMcC Presents BATTLE OF THE BANDS

Cherdo on the Flipside 

Holli's Hoots and Hollers 

THE DOGLADY'S DEN

The Soundtrack of My Life, Yakkety Yak Please Talk Back

It's only when I started putting together these Soundtrack posts that I realized how much happened my sophomore year of college. I think this might be the "busiest" year of my entire life in terms on pivotal things going on. I had no idea that was true until beginning this project. We'll see if time later proves me wrong, but there have been quite a few songs (significant events) for this year.

On my last BoTB post, I told you my initial meeting/first date story with J2. On the BoTB before that I told you the initial meet with J1, but I never told you the rest of the story.

Today you get the rest of the story for J1: Sophomore Year.

I would post a photo of J1 for this year, but I don't have one. That might seem odd, but it isn't. Not really.

So, if you'll recall our first meeting was odd. He threw open the door and screamed "What?" after my repeated knocking. Then, he came downstairs and played cards with us. You must want to know what happened after that auspicious beginning!

Turns out we really connected. He was another one of my "connect" people for sophomore year. It was a bizarre relationship. He had a girlfriend, who I never met. I was kinda/sorta in a very oblique sort of way dating his roommate. I can't really call it dating, but I can't call it not dating either. I think I was trying on the idea of a "boyfriend," and he wasn't really a good fit, so it stagnated in a place of sort of dating. Kind of reminds me of 6th graders and how they date. They "go together" but nothing actually happens. Now, I think J1's relationship with his girlfriend was more serious than that, but I also think my involvement in his life made it more complicated. ha!

J1 and talked. A lot. We'd play a game or two of euchre and then opt out and just sit and talk for hours. The lobby had furniture and "cubby holes," so you could easily just sit and talk. I'm not sure that his roommate thought much about it, though he should have, because who spends hours just talking??? Well, we did. We talked about Everything. Honestly, I can't think of a single topic that was off-limits. Well, I didn't ask him much about his girlfriend and he wasn't all that keen on discussing my non-relationship with his roommate, but other than that...

J1 and I had a lot in common. The best and worst was that we were equally broken. Equally ridden with holes. When you're full of holes no one understands better than someone else bullet ridden with holes. My parents divorced. J1's divorced when he was 5. His dad remarried very happily, but his relationship with his bio mom at that time was pretty much non-existent. Holes. J1 blew out his knee ending his aspirations for playing football and baseball. Baseball was the real kicker for him. I quit music and had no idea what I was going to major in. I was aimlessly taking CORE classes to try and find a new dream, a new passion, a new anything. Holes. I could go on, but those two subjects alone could keep us talking for days.

J1 didn't come back second semester my sophomore year. I don't know how it would've all turned out if he had. Probably wouldn't have started dating J2, so I'm kinda glad it worked out like it did. J2 was a really nice guy, even though it didn't end well. Getting there, people. Next post I'll tell you what happened with him! But, I didn't think I'd ever see J1 again after he quit school. Turns out I was wrong about that, but if you'd asked me in January of 1988 about J1 I'd have told you I was really sad he couldn't find a reason to stay.

The song I chose to describe this time with this person is Something About What Happens When We Talk by Lucinda Williams. Lucinda's voice is always raspy, raw, and a bit jagged. Kind of how I felt back then. This song talks about a relationship very much like the one I had with J1. And at the end when she says, "But all I regret now is I never kissed your mouth," I know just what she means. When I thought I'd never see him again I knew what it was to ache for something you never really had.

If I had my way
I'd be in your town
I might not stay
But at least I would've been around

'Cause there's something about what happens
When we talk
Something about what happens
When we talk

Does this make sense?
It doesn't matter anyway
Is it coincidence?
Or was it meant to be?

'Cause there's something about what happens
When we talk
Something about what happens
When we talk

And conversation with you
Was like a drug
It wasn't your face
So much as it was your words

'Cause there's something about what happens
When we talk
Something about what happens
When we talk

I can't stick around
I'm going back south
But all I regret now
Is I never kissed your mouth

'Cause there's something about what happens
When we talk
Something about what happens
When we talk

Something about what happens
When we talk
Something about what happens
When we talk

Have you ever met someone that made you feel this way? That you could talk to forever? 


If you're enjoying these posts, feel free to share your own Soundtrack. This isn't a hop. No requirements at all, but a suggestion to do it one song at a time. (If you participated in the hop several years ago, you can still do this. Just post them one song at a time, with the freedom to add more songs if you'd like.) I'll link to all participants at the bottom of each of these posts:

StMcC Presents BATTLE OF THE BANDS

Cherdo on the Flipside 

Holli's Hoots and Hollers 

THE DOGLADY'S DEN

Soundtrack/Battle of the Bands ~ I'm In

Today is the 15th and my Soundtrack post is once again aligning (quite nicely) with my Battle of the Bands post.

First, the story.

Still my sophomore year of college, for those of you only loosely keeping up with my Soundtrack feature. And this one features a boy. A different boy than the last Battle. I still have to tell you the story of how that one turned out (this year). Next post. I promise.

We're gonna call this boy J2. Yep, another "J" name. I told you they were prevalent. Not the same "J" name for the curious.

Anyway, it's spring semester and I can't remember exactly how I met J2, though I'm almost positive it was at a party at his house. Yep, he lived in a "party" house. Not an every weekend party house, but an occasional party house. Anyway, I really liked him and vice versa.

Our first date was something of a disaster, though. It was in the middle of pledging. I know I was very caught up in sorority stuff. And everyone in my pledge class and sorority were planning on going to this annual party the night of our date (it was a Saturday) called The Wild Irish Rose (maybe it was around St. Patrick's Day... that would make sense). Anyway, I really wanted to go to this party.

Even though our date was the same day as the party, I thought "no problem," because the date began early in the afternoon. We were meeting up with some friends of his. Turns out it was to play volleyball. I suck at all sports, including volleyball. I always stove my thumb. So, after I stove my thumb I opted out in favor of drinking. Yeah, it was drinking and volleyball. I thought I was a pro at drinking. Not so much. As you might imagine, I was wasted by five o'clock. Or somewhere around there. I'm pretty sure a dinner was involved, but it's all rather hazy on account of the "being wasted" I mentioned earlier.

As it approached eight o'clock and we were still nowhere near campus, I started to worry about The Wild Irish Rose. I'm sure I expressed this anxiety repeatedly. I was drunk, remember? However, that didn't hurry things along. We arrived at The Wild Irish Rose around 1:30 AM. I can't tell you what we were doing all that time. We were drinking. I remember that much. At least I was drinking. I think he was fairly sober, which makes me feel a bit sorry for the guy as I type this... he was really a decent fellow. And getting more decent by the moment.

The party was nearly empty and everyone still there was as drunk as I, if not more so. They served punch with Everclear in it. I'd been looking forward to this day for weeks, if not months, so you know I had some.... on top of everything else in my system. Frankly, I'm thankful at this moment that I didn't die that night. (an injection of humor, there)

Around 2:00 we venture back to his place. Not sure what he had in mind, but that wasn't what happened. He went inside while I stood out on the porch to "get some air." The next thing I know I'm throwing up from the porch into his bushes. Yep. Projectile vomiting. That's when he comes out to find me killing his bushes, (poor sucker) and then he holds my hair. Yeah, I know... so sweet. As I retched for the umpteenth time I was thinking, "Well, this is going to be one and done."

Turns out, he liked me enough to overlook that horrifying incident and we actually dated. So, J2 turned out to be my first boyfriend. In spite of vomit (which is a definitive buzzkill), he was still in... and so was I.

These are pictures of us at an annual dance called Fantasia. It was at this fancy hotel. I think you can tell I really, really liked him. I was so scared of the "L" word at this point that I think a person would've had to rip my fingernails off to get me to say it, but just because you don't say something doesn't mean you don't feel it. I was so in.

scanned photo

photos of a photo in my scrapbook

The song for today is I'm In. It was first written and recorded by Radney Foster. I've been a big fan of his for a long time. He's an excellent songwriter (and under-rated, I think). His singing career never really got off the ground. I think he was not country enough to get play on country radio, and not pop enough to get play on any other radio station. He gets an assist from Abra Moore. 





The second version is by The Kinleys. Radney Foster was a producer for the album this song appeared on, which is quite possibly why they chose it.





We've got so many new Battle of the Bands players that I'm having difficulty keeping up. (We post a new battle on the 1st and 15th of each month.) For those who've been following this feature/blog for a while now, can you believe that once upon a time -- for a long time-- there were only five of us??? Well, now the list grows each battle. So, if your name is not on here and you're participating, please leave me a message in the comments. Thanks for your patience!

 Also, please vote for the version of this song you prefer. If you want to get into the Ins and Outs of why you like one better than the other... I LOVE long comments!

For more Battle of the Bands fun, check out the other BOTB bloggers to vote on their battles:

• Far Away Series 
• Stephen T. McCarthy's Battle of the Bands Blog
• Tossing it Out
• DiscConnected (temporarily disconnected from BoTB)
• This Belle Rocks
• Mike's Ramblings
• Curious as a Cathy 
• Book Lover
• The Sound of One Hand Typing
• dcrelief ~ Battle of the Bands 
• Cherdo on the Flipside 
• Angels Bark 
• THE DOGLADY'S DEN 
• Jingle Jangle Jungle 
• WOMEN: We Shall Overcome 
• NovelBrews
• J.A. Scott

The Soundtrack of My Life, I Know You

In the last Soundtrack post, I told you about the best friend that wasn't. In this post, I'm going to tell you about the friends that were. (so much happier)

Do you remember way back at the beginning of this thing when I told you about meeting Jennifer the First in junior high school? She was the first person upon initial meeting that made me feel like I'd known her forever. I came to call this feeling The Connect. It's only happened a few times in my life, but it happened with three different people my sophomore year.

One was J1. I'll talk about that later because he has his own song.

Another was one of the girls across the hall: Jennifer the Second. The third was a girl I'd meet during this year's sorority rush: Sagittarius (not her name, but her birth sign). Jennifer the Second is/was a funny, funny person. In some ways (but definitely not all), I think of her as the female version of Stephen T. McCarthy. Why is that? Mostly because she was always fast on the draw with nicknames (I'm terrible at nicknames) and witty comebacks.

Jennifer on left, me in middle, roomie on right

Sagittarius was more serious, which sounds strange for those who know that Sags are the "Happy Go Lucky" sign of the zodiac. And she was that, too, but she was also someone you could have a really deep conversation with and then go out for beers. Or someone you had a really deep conversation with while drinking beers. Whatever.

Sag is second from left

Jennifer the Second belonged to a different sorority than Sagittarius, and I'm pretty sure she wanted me to join her sorority. But, I knew that Jennifer the Second and I would be friends no matter what. So, I joined Sag's sorority, which was a really good move for me. I didn't pick it because they were the most popular or the most cool. In fact, they were the smallest, most diverse bunch of people you'd meet on campus. Turns out that appealed to me enormously. Instead of trying to blend and fit in, I was embracing my individuality. And drinking too much. (Remember, I warned you that was a huge hole that I just kept falling into again and again.)

This was a big year for me. So much bad going on, but so much GOOD, too. It would be many years before I'd feel The Connect again. These people are special.





Run your car off the side of the road
Get stuck in a ditch way out in the middle of nowhere
Or get yourself in a bind lose the shirt off your back
Need a floor, need a couch, need a bus fare

This is where the rubber meets the road
This is where the cream is gonna rise
This is what you really didn't know
This is where the truth don't lie

{Chorus}
You find out who your friends are
Somebody's gonna drop everything
Run out and crank up their car
Hit the gas, get there fast
Never stop to think 'what's in it for me?' or 'it's way too far'
They just show on up with their big old heart
You find out who your friends are

Everybody wants to slap your back
wants to shake your hand
when you're up on top of that mountain
But let one of those rocks give way then you slide back down look up
and see who's around then

This ain't where the road comes to an end
This ain't where the bandwagon stops
This is just one of those times when
A lot of folks jump off

{Chorus}

When the water's high
When the weather's not so fair
When the well runs dry
Who's gonna be there?

{Chorus}

You find out who your friends are
(yeah, yeah)
You find out who your friends are

Run your car off the side of the road
Get stuck in a ditch way out in the middle of nowhere
(Well man, I've been there)
Or get yourself in a bind lose the shirt off your back
Need a floor, need a couch, need a bus fare
(Man, I've been there)

Man, I've been there
Oooh yeah.


Have you experienced The Connect? Have you ever hit the skids and found out who your friends were?


If you're enjoying these posts, feel free to share your own Soundtrack. This isn't a hop. No requirements at all, but a suggestion to do it one song at a time. (If you participated in the hop several years ago, you can still do this. Just post them one song at a time, with the freedom to add more songs if you'd like.) I'll link to all participants at the bottom of each of these posts:

StMcC Presents BATTLE OF THE BANDS

Cherdo on the Flipside 

Holli's Hoots and Hollers

The Soundtrack of My Life, Up A Lazy River

On my Battle of the Bands post, I promised to do some 'splaining about what happened at the end of freshman year that impacted sophomore year. We are finally to that point.

I was good friends (I was sure "besties") with this girl we'll call Erika, since that's her name and the chances of her reading this blog are nil. Anyway, Erika and I hung out all the time end of freshman year. She was one of those people who was liked by everyone. A whole lot of fun to be around.

I mean check out this face. This looks like a super nice person, right?

At the end of the year, you decide on who you want to room with the following year. We decided to be roomies. In the meantime, I turned down a whole bunch of other opportunities for roommates. In fact, I hooked two of the people up who asked me to room with them. Thus, when Erika backed out on rooming together at the last minute, because it might strain our friendship, it could've put me in a real pickle. Turns out, one of my "party" friends still needed a roommate, and we decided to give it a go.

Moving back into sophomore year, things with the actual roommate were working out very well AND things with Erika were also going very well. She and I still were "besties." Check out this sweet card she made for me in September:

click to enlarge

I also became much closer with the girl with whom I actually roomed. Our party friendship turned into a real one.

This person is actually a nice person:

me on left, roomie on right

Erika and I decided to roadtrip to New York for the fall break in October (she lived there). And then I was going to visit a high school friend of mine who was going to school at Westminster Choir College (it's close to Princeton).

Anyway, during the course of this trip, I made the mistake of sharing with Erika all of the "crazy" I felt about my parents divorcing. That's what best friends are for, right? Turns out we weren't best friends. In fact, after that trip, and my over-sharing of my feelings about my parents' divorce, we weren't friends at all. She couldn't handle my brand of crazy as evidenced by this note she wrote me right after we returned:

click to enlarge

That hurt for a long time, and that little bit of distance turned into an ocean. But, never doubt that there is a Bigger Plan at work, and she wasn't in mine.  Besides, if you can't handle someone's fears about their parents' marriage going up in flames, you aren't going to handle the tougher stuff that comes later. She was a shallow pond instead of a pool. It's always best to find that out sooner than later. Can you imagine getting that letter and still having to room with that person for the rest of the year? I was so thankful that Erika pulled the plug on the roomies thing in the spring. Otherwise, sophomore year would have been an endless nightmare.

This song, though, sums up how I felt about that relationship tanking when I needed it most.





With a sampled heartbeat and a stolen soul
I sold my songs to have my fortune told
And it said
You should know that love will never die
But see how it kills you in the blink of an eye

I know love is a hot white light
It knocks you down and then leaves you dry
Oh how can it be sweet mama tell me why
Why all love's disciples have to wither and die

Please sister, help me come on do what you should
Please give me something I’m not doing so good
I’m gone, done wrong is there nothing you can say
Please sister help me I’m not feeling ok

Give me belief that my time will come
And a toll free helpline if I find someone
But she said
You gave away what you never really had
And now your purse is empty I can see why you’re sad

Please sister, help me come on do what you should
Please give me something I’m not doing so good
I’m gone, done wrong is there nothing you can say
Please sister help me
Can you make me feel ok

So if it’s true, that love will never die
Then why do the lovers work so hard
To stay alive

Please sister, help me
Please give me something oh
Please sister, you know I do what I can
Oh sweet mama, please descent me a man
Cause I’m gone, gone
Is there nothing you can get
Please sister help me I just need some love
To live
Just a little love to live 

Have you ever mistaken a shallow pond for a deep pool? Been disappointed when someone you thought was a friend walked away?


If you're enjoying these posts, feel free to share your own Soundtrack. This isn't a hop. No requirements at all, but a suggestion to do it one song at a time. (If you participated in the hop several years ago, you can still do this. Just post them one song at a time, with the freedom to add more songs if you'd like.) I'll link to all participants at the bottom of each of these posts:

StMcC Presents BATTLE OF THE BANDS

Cherdo on the Flipside 

Holli's Hoots and Hollers

The Soundtrack of My Life, This Is What Marriage Looks Like (and BoTB results)

Before we get to the actual post for today, I've got some BoTB results to post for you. The song was Orange Colored Sky and the contenders were Natalie Gauci and Michael Buble. This was one of the most interesting battles here on this ole blog in a long time. For the longest time it was back and forth with the vote, but then Natalie Gauci pulled ahead and Michael Buble simply couldn't catch her. The final tally without my vote:

Natalie Gauci: 15

Michael Buble: 9

I'm with the majority on this one. I thought Natalie Gauci blew it out of the park. However, that isn't to say that I didn't/don't enjoy the Michael Buble version. In other words, no matter how this turned out, I'd have been fine with it. Two very fine versions of a wonderful song.

If you didn't read the last Soundtrack post, I suggest you back up one. This is really an extension of that one.

Okay, so you're caught up, right? It's sophomore year and my parents are divorcing. Here's the "rest of the story" that you really need to know for everything that comes down the line to make sense. I said in a previous post that I had no good role models for how "good marriage works."

My parents: My father was wonderful with my brother and I. Always willing to talk and listen. Not so much with my mom. I don't know when they quit trying, but I know it grieved my mother greatly. There were times she'd stand in the bathroom and cry while we were both getting ready in the morning. At the time, I was sure it was something I'd done (but I had no idea what and wasn't brave enough to ask). Turns out, it was just the gulf between her and my dad. One that she never could cross. He was distant and cold, and I suspect the harder she tried to bridge it, the faster he ran for higher ground. That would be Model #1 on Marriage.

My grandparents: My grandpa was horribly abusive to my grandma. In point of fact, abuse ran all the way down my grandma's family tree. Her mother, my great grandmother, had seven sisters. Every last one of them married an abusive man. Some were alcoholics. Others not. None of them nice. On visits to their house, I'd listen to my grandma give my mom the update on "the sisters," and it was one case of abuse after another. For my grandma, this was the "normal" way to live. She was surrounded by abuse and accepted it from my grandpa daily. It was very hard to watch. That would be Model #2 on Marriage.

My dad's mom (nanny) and that whole side of the family really: My dad's mother divorced five times. As did her mother (my great grandmother), which was unheard of in those days. My aunt was divorced for the third time (I think) most of my life. But she had boyfriends who came and went. So, it was the opposite end of the spectrum over there. There was a lot of kicking to the curb happening and a strict No Tolerance Policy of... well anything. I think the lesson was "leave them before they can leave you"... or something like that. That would be Model #3 on Marriage.

It's all really messed up. I know it.

Then there's my own takeaway on what love looks like: If it doesn't hurt, it isn't love. I guess I pulled all of those scenarios together, and that's what I decided on. How do I know this? Well, if it wasn't hurting me, I didn't trust it. Of course, when it hurt too much, I had to leave it. But, the only thing I had any faith in was the storm.

Like I said, messed up.

Now, given that, you'd think I'd hate this song, but I LOVE it. And the video is freakin' awesome.






Have you noticed how the relationships of those closest to you influenced your own choices? Were you lucky enough to have good role models or have you, too, been trying to overcome faulty belief systems?


If you're enjoying these posts, feel free to share your own Soundtrack. This isn't a hop. No requirements at all, but a suggestion to do it one song at a time. (If you participated in the hop several years ago, you can still do this. Just post them one song at a time, with the freedom to add more songs if you'd like.) I'll link to all participants at the bottom of each of these posts:

StMcC Presents BATTLE OF THE BANDS

Cherdo on the Flipside 

Holli's Hoots and Hollers

The Soundtrack of My Life, Going Through The Big "D" (and I don't mean Dallas)

If you participated in Battle of the Bands (June 1 post... and still time to vote!) than you know that we've slipped into my sophomore year at college.

My parents decided to divorce my sophomore year. When I originally wrote this post, the way I remembered it was that my dad sent me a letter letting me know that he and mom were divorcing. Turns out I keep a lot of shizzle, and when I was making scrapbooks I taped all of that shizzle in there... including the letter from dad. After reading the letter (again), I realized the letter was a follow-up to a phone conversation in which they dropped the bomb. But, all of these years later all I remembered was the letter. The brain is a weird place. If you don't believe me on that, you need to read some of my older blog posts. They confirm it.

Here's the proof that I did get a phone call and then a letter:

Click to enlarge

Here's the bizarre thing about my parents divorcing: I was expecting it. I'd known it was going to happen since junior high school and I watched the movie Heaven Can Wait. If you've seen that movie, do you remember the scene when the Warren Beatty character takes the Julie Christie character out to dinner? At the end of the evening he drops her off at her hotel. As she's walking up the stairs he calls from the parking lot, "My wife and I are getting a divorce."

She replies, "But you're not even separated."

He says, "Sure we are. It's a big house."

Granted, in that movie said wife was desperately trying to kill the Warren Beatty character for his money. It wasn't like that in my house. No one was plotting murder, and the house wasn't all that big. BUT, my parents lived very separate lives. In fact, there was a distinct lack of conversation. My parents could go for weeks without saying anything other than, "Pass the salt."

So, they didn't divorce because they argued all the time. They didn't. They simply didn't connect any more on any level, and even I knew it.

So, what was shocking about this turn of events? They did it before I expected. I really thought they'd wait until my brother graduated high school (and me college). So, I thought I had a few more years to adjust myself to the idea. I also thought it wasn't going to be "that big a deal" when it finally happened.

Boy, was I wrong.

If I thought I was in a spin freshman year, I learned what spin really was my sophomore year. I even wrote a research paper on divorce and why it happens. The whole world felt upended and my faith in the "lastingness" of relationships was at all-time low. Honestly, I'm not sure that it ever really recovered, because I still am amazed when someone says they're happily married after a whole lotta years. How do they do that???? What I learned in my research was that they do stuff together, take an interest in the other person's interests, and genuinely like one another. (You can understand something intellectually and still not really grasp it, if you know what I mean.)

What I'm trying to say is that knowing on a theoretical level what keeps people together and what drives them apart didn't change a whole lot for me. I was still messed up.

Just when you think that you know it all
You'll never fall and that it's all good
And you're gonna win again, it's a sin, that's gonna mess you up

Just when you think that you can't be touched
You're on your way up you think you're too much
That's gonna mess you up, it's your ego, your mojo, out of control

That's gonna mess you up, life has a way
To put you in your place if it needs to
That's gonna mess you up, leave yourself behind

Look around you'll find, it ain't all about you
In the end it's who you loved and who loved you
If it ain't the heart and soul stuff, that's gonna mess you up

Just when you thought that the girl was yours
She stuck it to you with a note on the door
Sayin' all take and no give, boy that ain't no way to live

She left you high and dry in the middle of the night
'Cause you didn't treat her right, that's gonna mess you up
You neglected, she rejected, should've expected

That's gonna mess you up, life has a way
To put you in your place if it needs to
That's gonna mess you up, leave yourself behind

Look around you'll find, it ain't all about you
In the end it's who you loved and who loved you
If it ain't the heart and soul stuff, that's gonna mess you up

That's gonna mess you up, life has a way
To put you in your place if it needs to
That's gonna mess you up, leave yourself behind

Look around you'll find, it ain't all about you
In the end it's who you loved and who loved you
If it ain't the heart and soul stuff, that's gonna mess you up

Have you ever been through a divorce? Your parents? Your grandparents? How did you cope?

Soundtrack/Battle of the Bands ~ Orange Colored Sky

Once again my Soundtrack series has run into Battle of the Bands. In the past it has resembled a crash. Today, it's more like a friendly merger.

So, let's start with the Soundtrack story. It's my Sophomore year of college. We're jumping ahead in time just a little bit, but at least we're in the right year! I lived in a coed dorm, the only one on campus, which is right where I wanted to be. My roommate situation became complicated at the end of my freshman year (which I'll address later), but ended up working out just the way it should. The girls who lived across the hall were complete strangers, though that wouldn't last, and they'd become good friends.

In point of fact, all four of us (me, my roomie, and the girls across the hall) all loved to play euchre. If you're from the north, you know of what I speak. If you're from the south, you're without a clue. I don't know about you western-living folk. BUT, it's a card game. In the north it's a wildly popular card game. Most everyone at my college played euchre. Turns out, there was a group of guys who lived on the second floor of my dorm who congregated in the lobby to play. After dinner, my friends and I (them that wanted to play, that is) would stop in the lobby for a game (or night) of euchre.

On this particular occasion, we didn't have enough people. So, I volunteered to go knock on doors on the second floor of the dorm to scrounge up some euchre players. I kinda sorta knew where these dudes lived, but not really. Anyway, one of the rooms had music blaring. (I mean blaring, as in really loud.) I knocked and knocked and knocked again. Honestly, I was stymied. Someone had to be in there because no one would just leave with their music turned up to 11.

This guy, who I'd never met, throws open the door and yells, "What???"

Two things were readily apparent. 1) He was annoyed. 2) He'd been sleeping. The latter threw my brain into a spin. Who could sleep through that racket????

I stammer out, "I was looking for R-------. We need someone for euchre." At this point, feeling really stupid and kinda scared. The guy was big (not fat), but football player-like big. Mussed. A bit like an angry bear.

He scratches his head and says, "Where you playing?

Okay, maybe this wasn't going to be a disaster. "The lobby."

"I'll be down in a few minutes." Door slams.

Why is this story even important? We'll call this guy J1 (guys with J names feature prominently in my life). He would also be my first Big Love. But not this year. There was a time when I thought this would be a story for the grandchildren. Alas, it didn't work out that way. But, it still makes me smile just to think about it. You never know who's lurking behind Door Number One.

If this were just a Soundtrack post, the song would be Orange Colored Sky by Nat King Cole. And you can listen to it HERE. But, you can't vote for it. He would run away with the vote. .

So, let's get to it. I punched in Orange Colored Sky on YouTube and listened to many versions. Honestly, I was a bit surprised at the number of covers. I'd never even heard the two I decided on for this battle until I began the search.

Do you have any First Meeting Stories you'd like to share? I'd like to hear about 'em!

First up is Natalie Gauci:



Next up is Michael Buble:



We've got so many new Battle of the Bands players that I'm having difficulty keeping up. (We post a new battle on the 1st and 15th of each month.) For those who've been following this feature/blog for a while now, can you believe that once upon a time -- for a long time-- there were only five of us??? Well, now the list grows each battle. So, if your name is not on here and you're participating, please leave me a message in the comments. Thanks for your patience!

 Also, please vote for the version of this song you prefer. If you want to get into the Ins and Outs of why you like one better than the other... I LOVE long comments!

For more Battle of the Bands fun, check out the other BOTB bloggers to vote on their battles:

• Far Away Series (not participating 6/1/15)
• Stephen T. McCarthy's Battle of the Bands Blog
• Tossing it Out
• DiscConnected (temporarily disconnected from BoTB)
• This Belle Rocks
• Mike's Ramblings
• Curious as a Cathy 
• Book Lover
• The Sound of One Hand Typing
• dcrelief ~ Battle of the Bands 
• Shady Dell Music & Memories (not participating 6/1/15)
• Cherdo on the Flipside 
• Angels Bark 
• THE DOGLADY'S DEN 
• Jingle Jangle Jungle 
• WOMEN: We Shall Overcome
• Alex J. Cavanaugh (sometimes)