Friday, June 12, 2015

The Soundtrack of My Life, I Know You

In the last Soundtrack post, I told you about the best friend that wasn't. In this post, I'm going to tell you about the friends that were. (so much happier)



Do you remember way back at the beginning of this thing when I told you about meeting Jennifer the First in junior high school? She was the first person upon initial meeting that made me feel like I'd known her forever. I came to call this feeling The Connect. It's only happened a few times in my life, but it happened with three different people my sophomore year.

One was J1. I'll talk about that later because he has his own song.

Another was one of the girls across the hall: Jennifer the Second. The third was a girl I'd meet during this year's sorority rush: Sagittarius (not her name, but her birth sign). Jennifer the Second is/was a funny, funny person. In some ways (but definitely not all), I think of her as the female version of Stephen T. McCarthy. Why is that? Mostly because she was always fast on the draw with nicknames (I'm terrible at nicknames) and witty comebacks.

Jennifer on left, me in middle, roomie on right

Sagittarius was more serious, which sounds strange for those who know that Sags are the "Happy Go Lucky" sign of the zodiac. And she was that, too, but she was also someone you could have a really deep conversation with and then go out for beers. Or someone you had a really deep conversation with while drinking beers. Whatever.

Sag is second from left


Jennifer the Second belonged to a different sorority than Sagittarius, and I'm pretty sure she wanted me to join her sorority. But, I knew that Jennifer the Second and I would be friends no matter what. So, I joined Sag's sorority, which was a really good move for me. I didn't pick it because they were the most popular or the most cool. In fact, they were the smallest, most diverse bunch of people you'd meet on campus. Turns out that appealed to me enormously. Instead of trying to blend and fit in, I was embracing my individuality. And drinking too much. (Remember, I warned you that was a huge hole that I just kept falling into again and again.)

This was a big year for me. So much bad going on, but so much GOOD, too. It would be many years before I'd feel The Connect again. These people are special.





Run your car off the side of the road
Get stuck in a ditch way out in the middle of nowhere
Or get yourself in a bind lose the shirt off your back
Need a floor, need a couch, need a bus fare

This is where the rubber meets the road
This is where the cream is gonna rise
This is what you really didn't know
This is where the truth don't lie


{Chorus}
You find out who your friends are
Somebody's gonna drop everything
Run out and crank up their car
Hit the gas, get there fast
Never stop to think 'what's in it for me?' or 'it's way too far'
They just show on up with their big old heart
You find out who your friends are


Everybody wants to slap your back
wants to shake your hand
when you're up on top of that mountain
But let one of those rocks give way then you slide back down look up
and see who's around then

This ain't where the road comes to an end
This ain't where the bandwagon stops
This is just one of those times when
A lot of folks jump off

{Chorus}

When the water's high
When the weather's not so fair
When the well runs dry
Who's gonna be there?


{Chorus}

You find out who your friends are
(yeah, yeah)
You find out who your friends are

Run your car off the side of the road
Get stuck in a ditch way out in the middle of nowhere
(Well man, I've been there)
Or get yourself in a bind lose the shirt off your back
Need a floor, need a couch, need a bus fare
(Man, I've been there)

Man, I've been there
Oooh yeah.


Have you experienced The Connect? Have you ever hit the skids and found out who your friends were?


If you're enjoying these posts, feel free to share your own Soundtrack. This isn't a hop. No requirements at all, but a suggestion to do it one song at a time. (If you participated in the hop several years ago, you can still do this. Just post them one song at a time, with the freedom to add more songs if you'd like.) I'll link to all participants at the bottom of each of these posts:

StMcC Presents BATTLE OF THE BANDS

Cherdo on the Flipside 

Holli's Hoots and Hollers

30 comments:

  1. I have experience 'the connect' only about 3-5 times. It is indeed a wonderful feeling.
    That's a great video and the nice lyrics. Thanks for sharing!

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    1. I suspect that's pretty normal. I've experienced it five times. I'm hoping I get one more...:)

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  2. A group that is a mix would be so much more fun.

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    1. They were an eclectic bunch for sure.

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  3. Hello again, dear Robin!

    I enjoyed the Tracy Lawrence video. The song reminds me of this one:

    Once I had fame
    Oh I was full of pride
    Had lots of friends
    Always here right by my side
    Well my fame oh it died
    Now my friends all try to hide

    Everybody loves a winner
    Everybody loves a winner
    But when you lose, you lose alone

    Have I ever experienced The Connect? I never did until I met Mrs. Shady. I envy people who have at least one very close friend they know they can count on to be there for them through thick and thin. All my life I never experienced that with a man or a woman until 1987 when I met Mrs. Shady. She joined the staff of the MTV station where I worked and she and I collaborated on various projects. From the start we felt a deep rapport as if we had known each other forever. In fact she told me she already knew me in a sense because, as it turned out, 15 years earlier she watched me on television every morning when we both lived up north. Fate brought us together and she has been my best friend ever since. I helped her through some hard times and she has helped me.

    In a reply to a comment on your previous post you wrote:

    << And then there are the people you should work at keeping in your life. >>

    I appreciate that statement, Robin, and just wanted you to know.

    Have a safe and happy weekend, dear friend!

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    1. People that you feel like you've known forever are a special bunch. It's really sad when you lose one of them for any reason. It's wonderful that your wife is one of those people for you. You're very lucky!

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  4. It's nice that you have these photos you've been sharing. I never was too good at taking photos.

    I think I can say that I've had that "Connect" experience. There are some friends that I made in high school and after who I still communicate with. Since I'm so far from them I rarely see them, but when we're together it seems like we just pick up where we last left off. I've been able to count on them in the past and I think it will always be that way to the extent that our distance allows it.

    I've been pretty fortunate in the friends I've had. We may have drifted apart due to time and distance, but I can't recall any with whom I left in bad standing.

    Arlee Bird
    A to Z Challenge Co-host
    Wrote By Rote

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    1. I was much better with photos back in the days when it required a camera and film and film processing. Yup, I don't get it either. But, I loved taking pictures. Now that I have one on my phone I hardly ever snap a picture. It's craziness for sure.

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  5. I'm a Sag, too. (And looking at myself these days, in more ways than one...)

    As for feeling the connect, I have a propensity to feel connected to people very easily and quickly, which means I kinda wear my heart on my sleeve, stick my chin out, and trust that I won't get kicked in the chops. Most of the time, that approach has worked very well for me. Those times I've taken it on the chin (and in the heart) are more than made up for by all the other times the connections have deepened and improved with time.

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    1. It doesn't surprise me one lick that you're a Sag. My brother is also a Sag, so I'm pretty familiar with this brand of animal. Sags are usually the most fun, engaging people you want to be around. Seriously. Your husband is a lucky man!

      I'm not talking about just liking people and being open, but more that feeling that you've known someone forever, even when it's really been a week. Or a day. It's the strangest feeling...

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  6. It's amazing how much we learn and grow through college - very little of that, based on what we learn in the lecture halls. This post brings a smile to my face. I can relate - so much good, so much bad in such a short, formative amount of time. Imagine that so many don't get the college experience. I'm very grateful for it. You look adorable, by the way.

    Happy Friday and weekend, Robin.

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    1. I don't remember much from my classes, but all the other stuff... heck yeah.

      There was so much good and so much bad in such a short amount of time. Made for a crazy life. Sometimes excellent crazy...

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  7. I have friends that I can not see for months and then when we're together it's like we were never apart. I'm glad all my children have some really good friends so they never feel alone.

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    1. Those sounds like "connect" sorts of friends. Most of us only get a handful.

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  8. GIRL WONDER ~
    I read your previous post and listened to the song, but when I was about to comment, something came up that I had to attend to and I never got back to the comment. Glad of that though, because what I was going to say fits better here anyway...

    >>... In some ways (but definitely not all), I think of her as the female version of Stephen T. McCarthy. Why is that? Mostly because she was always fast on the draw with nicknames (I'm terrible at nicknames) and witty comebacks.

    Ha! Oh, gosh! I got as far as the first sentence and began to cringe, feeling such sorrow for this poor girl. A female version of ME? Hell, even the male version can be tough to take (even for me!) But then I read the second part and felt warmed by the compliment and proud o' dat goil.

    The nickname thing must run in the bloodline because my Brother, Napoleon, has a real knack for it too. I remember in our 'League Of Soul Crusaders' Bay Street days, the girls who'd hang out with us were all asking him to come up with nicknames for them. Ha! Not exactly the way it's supposed to happen: You don't REQUEST a nickname, you just wind up with one. But, oh, well, Nappy put his mind to it and got 'er done.

    Good nicknames just happen though without much thought. The one I came up with for Bryan (6-B) was funny in how it developed. At first, I was calling him 3-B - for "Beer Boy Bryan" - at that time, I don't believe anyone had yet begun calling Bryan and Brandon the "Beer Boys". I could be wrong, but I think that caught on because of my use of it in the comment sections of their blog.

    Then, as time went on, more "B"s got added: "B"rother, and then an inside "Paul Simon" joke between us added 2 more "B"s and that's where it settled.

    As a little kid, I was a huge 'Batman' (Adam West) fan, so your nickname is easy to figure out.

    That picture of you four in bed - you were in college then? You look like a ten-year-old girl at a slumber party!!!

    When it comes to friends, I have always been pretty selective and have always had a rather small but close circle of friends, with 3 that I would label "Superfriends". Those are the ones who are really like Tracy Lawrence speaks of in the song.

    Sadly, 2 of the 3 Superfriends are gone now: Kelly, who killed himself in '86, and Marty, who was killed in '89. (Marty is the one I alluded to in our conversation, the one with whom I so strongly associate the song 'POSITIVELY 4th STREET'.) I could have called Kelly in L.A. at 3:00 AM and said, "I'm stuck in New York City" and he would have been in his old Chevy pickup truck and headed East inside of 30 minutes. Marty would have said, "Go to Western Union and pick up the money I'm wiring to you. ...And don't call me at 3:00 AM again." Speaking of money, it doesn't buy friends like THAT!

    I've not had a "lot" of "friends", but the ones I've had have been good ones and have stuck by me for many years.

    Now I gotta Q: Have you always liked Country music? I mean, like, even when you were in college, were you into Country or is that something that developed in later years?

    ~ D-FensDogG
    'Loyal American Underground'

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    1. I envy people who can come up with nicknames. I think it's a superpower. Apparently you and Nappy have it. And Jennifer the Second. She was killer with nicknames. As you say, you don't get to choose those things, they are bestowed upon you... for better or worse. Kinda like marriage. ha!

      I'm not at all surprised Kelly and Marty are 2 of your 3. Who is your third????

      No, I haven't always liked country music. I liked certain songs as a kid. My dad was a huge country music fan and had many albums. Ergo, we did some listening in the car, but I usually felt tortured by it rather than enjoying it. Ha. BUT, I did like certain songs a lot. For instance, Your Good Girl's Gonna Go Bad by Tammy Wynette was something I'd play and dance around the room singing into hairbrush.

      However, I think the love for country music was genetic. Both my parents liked it, so it was really just a matter of time for the gene to kick in. I remember falling in love with Randy Travis in college. We'd play his cassette tapes and play euchre. There is a song he sings called Deeper Than The Holler that I'm particularly partial to. However, it wasn't until I moved south in 1992 that I embraced country music. You really can't live in Georgia and avoid country music. The first cassette tape I bought for myself was John Anderson's Seminole Wind. After that, it was "on" with me and country music.

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    2. >>... Who is your third?

      The third (who was actually first in chronological order) was Eric. He and I met on the second day of 5th grade (1969). Many years later, he got married, had a son and we kind of drifted apart.

      But we were good pals from 5th grade, day 2, until the mid-1980s. Went to tons of concerts together and had all kinds of adventures throughout all those years, as you can imagine. We drove cross-country together from New York City to Los Angeles in 1983 (down along the Eastern seaboard and into the deep South). Eric is the guy I got lost in the Okefenokee Swamp with one night when the alligators started to circle.

      Eric was the only kid I knew who was more shy than I was. My Dad used to joke that even Eric's knock at the door was hard to hear. He once asked me, "When you and Eric are out and about, does he ever talk to you?" Ha! "Yeah, of course!"

      ~ D-FensDogG

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    3. Now, that's funny. I've knows some super quiet people like that (not one of them myself!). I know you haven't watched this movie, and it's probably not your cup of joe (though Bryan said he liked it after I told him I liked it). Let me see if I can find the clip that showcases my point...

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Gud4JNBetk

      Pitch Perfect is the movie.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F03N-ApQdmw

      And I've already shown you this clip and you liked it:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=weqDCGg0GYs

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    4. This is definitely not the movie I had in mind. I thought it was a romance movie centered on baseball.

      And you're right, it's almost certainly not my cuppa joe, but I DO remember you showing that last scene with the plastic cup as percussion before and I still think that's really cool. I'd like to teach myself how to do that.

      ~ D-FesDogG

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  9. Oh how I recall those drinking days:) They were lots of fun but I am glad I don't drink that way now and haven't in years. It sounds like you have 3 friends whom you can count on and that is truly special. I had an instant connect with 3. One is my ex husband whom I am still very good friends with. He speaks to the inner nerd in me and we could say thing right off the bat that no one else could get. My best friend-Ms. Leo-who could be my soul mate. We just hit it off instantly and we are so close now for 30 years(OMG!!) that we will think the same things before one or the other says it. We mean the world to each other. The 3rd is my present hubby. I know, strange, but from the instant we met, we talk and talked and I felt totally comfortable and at ease. I could tell him anything and vice versa. I have 2 other great friends but they were not an instant connect but my life would be horrible without them too

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    1. That is very nice. I'm so glad you still have those people in your life (even your ex). I do think the world is a better place when we keep those folks around.

      The two friends who weren't insta-connects are still wonderful. I have friends that I value very much who don't meet my "connect" criteria.

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  10. I think my innate lack of confidence left me without being able to believe "the connect".

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    1. I'm not saying it always worked out well in the end, just that the feeling was there....

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  11. Just returned from my college reunion. Saw a group of folks I hadn't seen in over ten years, and still felt the connection.

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    1. That's awesome. I haven't been to a college reunion in many years. ::sigh::

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  12. i've felt that connection you speak of with a few people along my life. It's amazing and almost spooky how this happens. And you're right. That people is special and even though we part ways eventually, I will never forget them. Dragon Hugs!

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  13. We're both extremely lucky in that regard. We've known each other since we were 5 years old, and we've always had the exact same circle of friends - 8 of us total. Brandon, myself, Chris, Annie, Blake, Nichole, Aaron, and Rod. We've all known each other for well over 20 years. The funny part, of course, is that Blake and Nichole have been married for 10 years now, and Chris and Annie have been dating for about 4 and we assume they're on the road to marriage. They found The Connect not just with friendship, but with relationships, too. THAT is some luck, and further proof that our group of friends is incredibly special.

    Plus, would you believe me if I said that Brandon and I have never had a fight, over anything? Ever?

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    1. If you married him, that would change!

      Well, that was just creepy.

      Very interesting your circle of friends and the relationships that have evolved there. Sounds like it could be a romantic comedy in the making. Of course, you'd have to change the story up a bit so that you and Brandon are also married. Movies just aren't successful these days unless you have a gay marriage in there. So, start writing!

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  14. It's great when you connect with people. I have found I connect with people and don't realize it til later. My mind is always zinging in thirty different directions. With one friend in particular, I didn't realize we had connected til I was standing in the door of her house, I looked up and realised that while I had come to drop off things, we had gotten past that point about twenty minutes prior and we had done similar things on several occasions. Now we are friends. But true friends...you find out who those are when the shit hits the fan and they have to choose. This gal passed that test as well.

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