The Soundtrack of My Life, Unwinding My Romance

From the last post you can clearly see that things are headed toward Break Up with J2.

Here's how it went down:

We were both in a sorority and fraternity, and we both had semi-formals in the spring. So, probably several months in advance (one at least) I asked him to go with me to mine. If you will recall, this still felt like shaky ground to me. Nothing could be assumed. Imagine my chagrin when he didn't immediately reciprocate and ask me to go to his.

I remember the anxiety as the date drew closer. My formal was one weekend and his was the following weekend. We were down to one week before mine and nothing from him on this topic. Meanwhile, it's Friday (or Saturday) night and I'm at a party, and very likely well on my way to being smashed, when one of my guy friends from the second floor of my dorm asks me to go to his formal (one of my euchre pals). Obviously, this was dangerous territory. However, it was treacherous since his formal and J2's formal were the same night. In a moment of wild frustration (and plenty 'o anger), I said "Okay." I still didn't have a clue as to the many ways this could go wrong for me.

The "before" picture at my semi-formal

So, what happened?

The topic came up at the worst possible moment: the night of my formal. One of his frat brothers and his girlfriend (who were long-time steadies and OBVIOUSLY going to the semi-formal together) are hanging out with us. We got a hotel room and were all sharing it. So, his friend says, "Next week let's all go hot tubbing. That would be so much fun."

And there it was. The moment of truth. Now, I could've (and should've) kept my big trap shut, waiting for a moment alone with J2 to explain the uncertainty about his formal, the other guy asking, and giving him the option of speaking his mind and clearing up the misunderstanding. Oh, but no, that's not what I did.

I said, "You all can do what you want, but I'm gonna be at the Frater formal."

Well, you could've heard a pin drop in that room. Talk about conversation stopper. It got extremely awkward and I can't say that J2 or I had much fun the rest of the night. Ironically, he didn't say ONE WORD about it. Not a word. I kept waiting and nothing.

The "after" picture...

Another one of my friends was seriously dating one of his housemates so she was at his house the next day (the one after my formal and grand announcement). All the guys were out on the porch talking. She says to me that J2 just said over and over, "I can't believe she did that to me."

Well hell.

There are too many takeaways here to even list. I should've just come out and asked him if I was invited or not. I didn't because I was afraid I was NOT. However, that would've been better than the way events actually unrolled. Instead, I thought I was forcing his hand... making him see what was obvious to me... he hadn't asked me. He should've asked me. I thought, if he planned on us going to his formal together, he would've said something that night. That would've given us time to sort it out and I would've let the other guy know he needed to find another date. (I suppose my announcement that I was gonna be at the other guy's formal might've had something to do with that conversation not happening. I'm such an idiot.)

I shouldn't have assumed anything... from our dating status to what he'd do with my "news." Because it didn't happen even close to how I thought it would.

Instead, he was pissed. He never spoke to me again. Looking at it from his point of view, I can't say I blame him.

This will all fall down like everything else that was
This too shall pass and all of the words we said
We can't take back

Now every fool in town would've left by now
I can't replace all of the wasted days
The memory of your face, I can't help thinkin'

Maybe if we ever coulda kept it all together, where would we be
A thousand lost forevers
And the promises you never were giving me

Here's what I'm thinking

It won't be the first heart that you break
It won't be the last, beautiful girl
The one that you wrecked won't take you back
If you were the last beautiful girl in the world

So tell me one more time
How you're sorry about the way this all went down
You needed to find your space, you needed to still be friends
You needed me to

Call you if I ever couldn't keep it all together you'd comfort me
You tell me about forever
And the promises I never should have believed in

Here's what I'm thinking

It won't be the first heart that you break
It won't be the last beautiful girl
The one that you wrecked won't take you back
If you were the last beautiful girl in the world
Last beautiful girl in the world

It's over now, I've gone without 'cuz you're everyone else's girl
It seems to me, you'll always be everyone else's girl
Everyone else's girl

This will all fall down like everything in the world
This too must end and all of the words we said
We can't take 'em back

And it won't be the first heart that you break
It won't be the last, beautiful girl
The one that you wrecked won't take you back
If you were the last beautiful girl

It won't be the first heart that you break
It won't be the last, beautiful girl
The one that you wrecked won't take you back
If you were the last beautiful girl in the world

The last beautiful girl in the world
You are the last beautiful girl in the world
Beautiful girl

Have you ever royally screwed up a relationship that you really cared about out of fear? An inability to communicate? Or some other misunderstanding?


If you're enjoying these posts, feel free to share your own Soundtrack. This isn't a hop. No requirements at all, but a suggestion to do it one song at a time. (If you participated in the hop several years ago, you can still do this. Just post them one song at a time, with the freedom to add more songs if you'd like.) I'll link to all participants at the bottom of each of these posts:

StMcC Presents BATTLE OF THE BANDS

Cherdo on the Flipside 

Holli's Hoots and Hollers 

THE DOGLADY'S DEN