I was good friends (I was sure "besties") with this girl we'll call Erika, since that's her name and the chances of her reading this blog are nil. Anyway, Erika and I hung out all the time end of freshman year. She was one of those people who was liked by everyone. A whole lot of fun to be around.
I mean check out this face. This looks like a super nice person, right?
At the end of the year, you decide on who you want to room with the following year. We decided to be roomies. In the meantime, I turned down a whole bunch of other opportunities for roommates. In fact, I hooked two of the people up who asked me to room with them. Thus, when Erika backed out on rooming together at the last minute, because it might strain our friendship, it could've put me in a real pickle. Turns out, one of my "party" friends still needed a roommate, and we decided to give it a go.
Moving back into sophomore year, things with the actual roommate were working out very well AND things with Erika were also going very well. She and I still were "besties." Check out this sweet card she made for me in September:
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| click to enlarge |
I also became much closer with the girl with whom I actually roomed. Our party friendship turned into a real one.
This person is actually a nice person:
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| me on left, roomie on right |
Erika and I decided to roadtrip to New York for the fall break in October (she lived there). And then I was going to visit a high school friend of mine who was going to school at Westminster Choir College (it's close to Princeton).
Anyway, during the course of this trip, I made the mistake of sharing with Erika all of the "crazy" I felt about my parents divorcing. That's what best friends are for, right? Turns out we weren't best friends. In fact, after that trip, and my over-sharing of my feelings about my parents' divorce, we weren't friends at all. She couldn't handle my brand of crazy as evidenced by this note she wrote me right after we returned:
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That hurt for a long time, and that little bit of distance turned into an ocean. But, never doubt that there is a Bigger Plan at work, and she wasn't in mine. Besides, if you can't handle someone's fears about their parents' marriage going up in flames, you aren't going to handle the tougher stuff that comes later. She was a shallow pond instead of a pool. It's always best to find that out sooner than later. Can you imagine getting that letter and still having to room with that person for the rest of the year? I was so thankful that Erika pulled the plug on the roomies thing in the spring. Otherwise, sophomore year would have been an endless nightmare.
This song, though, sums up how I felt about that relationship tanking when I needed it most.
With a sampled heartbeat and a stolen soul
I sold my songs to have my fortune told
And it said
You should know that love will never die
But see how it kills you in the blink of an eye
I know love is a hot white light
It knocks you down and then leaves you dry
Oh how can it be sweet mama tell me why
Why all love's disciples have to wither and die
Please sister, help me come on do what you should
Please give me something I’m not doing so good
I’m gone, done wrong is there nothing you can say
Please sister help me I’m not feeling ok
Give me belief that my time will come
And a toll free helpline if I find someone
But she said
You gave away what you never really had
And now your purse is empty I can see why you’re sad
Please sister, help me come on do what you should
Please give me something I’m not doing so good
I’m gone, done wrong is there nothing you can say
Please sister help me
Can you make me feel ok
So if it’s true, that love will never die
Then why do the lovers work so hard
To stay alive
Please sister, help me
Please give me something oh
Please sister, you know I do what I can
Oh sweet mama, please descent me a man
Cause I’m gone, gone
Is there nothing you can get
Please sister help me I just need some love
To live
Just a little love to live
Have you ever mistaken a shallow pond for a deep pool? Been disappointed when someone you thought was a friend walked away?
If you're enjoying these posts, feel free to share your own Soundtrack. This isn't a hop. No requirements at all, but a suggestion to do it one song at a time. (If you participated in the hop several years ago, you can still do this. Just post them one song at a time, with the freedom to add more songs if you'd like.) I'll link to all participants at the bottom of each of these posts:
StMcC Presents BATTLE OF THE BANDS
Cherdo on the Flipside
Holli's Hoots and Hollers
