CAN WE PRETEND?

I have posted before about my insomnia. Nothing new there. Well... I think that I mentioned that one of the things that I have recently tried is cutting the TV down to "3" (volume) and changing the channel to HGTV. That would be Home Garden Television for those of you not in the know. My mom loves that channel. It has been fairly effective at knocking me out. At that time of night, they usually run back to back episodes of HOUSE HUNTERS. If I can focus in on the show, and shut out my mental craziness, I will often nod off.


Well, I had a particularly bad night earlier this week. I was up until REALLY LATE. So, that meant that I didn't wake up until REALLY LATE. If I am not up by noon, my mom is knocking on my door. She has this fear that I might accidentally overdose myself in the middle of the night. It is actually a valid fear. When you have a rager of a migraine, you can forget what meds you have taken and how much. I used to scare myself sometimes when I lived alone. Hence, the notepad and the need to write this crap down. However, when you aren't thinking clearly sometimes you forget to write it down. It's a crazy circle. Anyway, at noon she knocks on my door to check if I am alive. Sometimes she waits until 12:30. Whatever.

I think that this particular day it was more like 12:30 and I was alive. I felt terrible, but I was breathing. Terrible migraine. But still here. HGTV was still running on my TV. I took my pain meds, grabbed a granola bar out of the nightstand, ate it in bed, and waited. A half hour later, the world looked much more promising. And then the most amazing thing happened. You aren't going to believe this sh*t. Actually, this isn't going to have quite the same impact because I haven't complained on here about HGTV the way I have in the "real world." BORING is the word that I trumpet the most loudly and frequently.

INCOME PROPERTY came on. Scott McGillivray comes in and assesses someone's house (at their request), if they have extra space that they want to turn into a rental, and he (and his team) does the renovation. I turned the volume up to "9" and was transfixed. Start to finish. Was the renovation cool? Absolutely. Did I learn a lot? Oh yeah. Was Scott so hot he set my television on fire? Definitely. You are thinking very loudly, Purple Cow. I know I am having a mid-life meltdown. Let me enjoy it.



I've discovered that INCOME PROPERTY comes on weekdays at 1:00 pm and weekends at 11:30am, so I have to plan accordingly. Well, today, after INCOME PROPERTY, I got sucked into two episodes of DESIGNED TO SELL, and there were NO hot men in sight. That was an entire hour of just digging the whole remodeling crap. Uh oh. My mom's favorite show on HGTV is HOLMES ON HOMES. He is not a hottie, but he is handy. They ran several ads for his show while I was glued to the TV today and they started to look good. The show... not the guy.



I am pretty sure it's official. I am turning into my mother. Pretty soon we will be hanging out in the living room together on Sunday nights waiting for HOLMES ON HOMES to come on and discussing things like plumbing. And that wasn't sexual innuendo ~ I mean plumbing, as in for reals. And fixtures. Heaven help me.

Now that doesn't mean I am not going to ogle Scott on INCOME PROPERTY for thirty minutes every day. You bet your sweet your a**, I will definitely be doing that. People, I have to ogle something! And he is HANDY. He knows how to use a hammer, wrench, and all of those other manly tools. Right Guy was HANDY. He was/is a mechanic. Yeah, I like a man who knows his way around a shop and knows what to do with his hands. Unfortunately, I am fairly certain my chances of re-jumpstarting my relationship with Right Guy are only slightly better than my chances with Scott. And that is nil, because Scott is newly married. Right Guy slept through his plane and he missed it.



Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now. Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now.

And it seems like yesterday it was just a dream, but those days are gone, they're just memories. And it seems like yesterday it was just a dream, but those days are gone.

Cuz he never risked shit he hopes and he wished it, but it didn’t fall in his lap so he ain’t even here he pretends that…
Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now. Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now.