Sunday, April 25, 2010

SHE GAVE ME A WORD...POSTMORTEM

Okay, Chris has given me a word. Postmortem. I googled it online. Here is what I found:

postmortem definition post·mor·tem (pōst′môr′təm)

adjective

1.happening, done, or made after death
2.having to do with a post-mortem examination

Etymology: L, lit., after death

noun

1.postmortem examination
2.a detailed examination or evaluation of some event just ended

As you can see, it can be used as an adjective or a noun. In keeping with my theme that all words that are negative or potentially dire = a junior high school experience, here we go.

Postmortem. Well, I never did manage to pull up the backbone required to just tell the two girls I was walking behind each day that I would rather walk to school by myself. It might not have been safer, but it would have been healthier, in terms of my pride and self-respect. Of course, once we were at school, we went our separate ways. We didn't eat together at lunch or even sit together in class if there were other options.


However, there were still certain occasions that brought us together socially. Birthday parties. Geography was still a bitch. The girl who lived one street over had more in common with me than the girl down the street. Turns out that the girl down the street and I never would have been friends if not for geography. We had no common interests. Her sole interest was boys. I was in band, wanted to be in choir, and also looked forward to the days when I could try out for theatre. The girl one street over was also in band. We both played clarinet. She was better than I. And she also liked choir. In fact, I think she did sing in the choir in junior high. I don't know about her theatre interests. In my opinion, her playing first chair with the clarinet gave her a bit of a swelled head about the rest of her musical abilities.

As for me, I was determined to put in whatever work was necessary to become a part of the High School's elite Swing Choir when I was a senior. It was a HUGE DEAL to me, and even though I wasn't even in high school yet, I knew that I was willing to put in whatever time was necessary to get there. I also wanted to be involved in theatre, so I had a feeling that band was not going to last in high school (I was right).

Anyway, the girl from the next street over who played clarinet had this birthday party and I was invited. At some point, the talk turned to Swing Choir. Aside from the birthday girl and I, no one else had any interest in being in Swing Choir. This could have been one of those conversations about how much fun it would be to be in Swing Choir together. It wasn't. Instead, somebody had to make it a contest and put it to a vote. Who is more likely to be in Swing Choir? WTF? Of course, everyone voted for the birthday girl.

The postmortem on this event happened at my neighbor's house. How is it significant from any other postmortem on any other horrible junior high school experience? Well, those girls really did become dead to me after that. In high school, until I got a car, even though it was a longer walk than to the junior high, I walked it alone. I might have even started walking to the junior high by myself after that. I just don't know. But, it changed me inside.

And, for the record, the birthday girl stuck with band in high school. She never stepped foot inside of the choir room. And I was in Swing Choir. You don't vote against me when I really want it.

Postmortem = junior high school.

6 comments:

  1. good post mortem on the relationship. Post mortem= all my thought processes.
    When you do one, you get to the root of the matter.

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  2. Ugh, I hated Jr. High. I have some good memories, but overall, yuck.

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  3. Thank you for the nice comment on my blog! I'm looking forward to reading more on your blog too and becoming blog friends. :) I enjoyed this post!

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  4. Nice post-mortem. I had "friends" like this in high school too and with some of them we are "friends" on FB. I am glad they bullied me back in high school as they have unwittingly helped me become a better person more able to handle life's slaps. Plus I get to gloat that I've turned out better than they have. I think Nietzche says it well:

    "To those human beings who are of any concern to me I wish suffering, desolation, sickness, ill-treatment, indignities - I wish that they should not remain unfamiliar with profound self-contempt, the torture of self-mistrust, the wretchedness of the vanquished: I have no pity for them, because I wish them the only thing that can prove today whether one is worth anything or not - that one endures."
    (The Will to Power)

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  5. I would never vote against you, Robin. I see your warrior woman spirit, and it makes me smile for you.

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  6. jaja =) Loved the ending.

    GOOD for you for not letting popularity votes dictate what you were going to be participating in.

    Much Luv,
    Karen

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