ONLY CONNECT

"It's intense what happens in the O.R., when lives are on the line, and you're poking at brains like they're silly putty. You form a bond with the surgeons right next to you, an unbreakable, indescribable bond. It's intimate being tied together like that. Whether you like it or not, whether you like them or not, you become family." ~Grey's Anatomy


The above quote is Meredith's introduction to Season 5, Episode 8. After I decided what I wanted this blog to be about, I decided that I HAD to use this minute and a half of footage that was deleted from the aforementioned episode. Would you believe I couldn't find the quote anywhere on the Internet for that specific episode? However, I knew it was going to complement in some way what was going on with my footage, so I had to have it. Therefore, I had to dig out my DVD, put it in, and do the stop/start thing and type it in myself? It took a little bit of work. I hear a bunch of mini violins playing in the distance. Back to this deleted scene. Yeah, that's right it was deleted. It never made it into the show and it was all of 90 seconds long. And it was awesome. The thing is that I have sat and watched this 90 seconds of footage about six times now to evaluate if it has meaning for those of you who don't watch the show. It does. I am more impressed each time I watch it. 90 seconds and it hits me in the gut each time. In fact, for this blog to really make sense you NEED to watch it and it's ONLY 90 seconds. So, scroll to the bottom of my page and turn off the sound on my idiot music player and crank up the volume on your computer. I love that thing for so many other reasons, but it is annoying me a lot right now. And then click on the video below.



We need connection. The character you just saw in this video, George, is floundering. He has lost his moorings and is unable to connect. He is trying and even though he is reaching out he is not making connections. His old connections aren't there anymore. The people that he was talking to were experiencing connection failures of their own. If you watch it again, you will see that.


The fact that you are on the Internet indicates your understanding for a need of connection. If you tweet, use facebook, myspace, have ever used an online dating service than you have used the Internet to connect. Our need for connection with other people is strong. I remember that when I was in high school, and then college, that I believed those people, those friends, would be in my life in a direct way for the rest of my life. It never occurred to me that those connections might be severed or lost or just dropped. I didn't think about the importance of geography in maintaining a relationship. I didn't take into account jobs and families, and the fact there are only so many hours in the day. I never thought about those things.

I didn't think about the more jobs you had, the more times you moved, the more people would come and go... all of that added up to more connections picked up and dropped. The best job I ever had was a commission sales job where I worked out of my house. I did it for ten years and I dealt primarily with maintenance guys and I saw them once a month. That was outstanding for business and terrible for my social life. I didn't make any work connections (in terms of having people to hang out with socially) even though I did make friends. It was this strange world I created. None of my friends from high school or college lived remotely close to me, and I had a few friends in the area, but not many. I did have family and they filled a lot of my gaps. But, I didn't have many friends my own age. My job wore me out and I was so tired that I didn't notice that I wasn't making connections. I talked on the phone to friends and that filled that need.


Then I got married, and sick, and had stepkids, and a job, and I was the person who didn't have time to even talk on the phone. I had some friends who were in that boat when I was the single person. They weren't sick, but they had FULL PLATES. When that happens, everything slides. You let all of your connections go. A friend of mine was talking about how I was living in a closed system and how I needed to open it up. That sounds easy and it is so hard. Other people live busy lives and they are go go go. All of their balls are in the air. I know what that is like because I have been there.

I can hear my friend saying that I need get more creative. In other words, I need to make new connections, and she doesn't mean on the Internet. I am open to suggestions. Keep in mind with your suggestions that I have migraines, chronic fatigue, and fibromyalgia, and get wiped out easily. That's not to say that I shouldn't go anywhere. But a step aerobics class isn't a possibility for me... My newfound friend, Phoenix, posted a really awesome blog yesterday that had me thinking about my own problems (obviously), and this one was topping my list. Her response was that the problems weren't going anywhere, so she decided to "push a little more love their way." That stopped me in my tracks. What a novel idea. I have been trying to go over, around, under, and even punch my way through (ouch) and getting nowhere. Let's see what happens if we push a little love their way.

So, friends, when you want to make new connections (not online) where do you go?