THE SQUIRREL

Have you ever felt like the squirrel who can't make up its mind about which way to go to avoid being hit by an oncoming car? Every time I see one of those poor little creatures darting back and forth, I imagine their little brain sizzling on overload. The adrenalin is pumping and they are completely unable to make any decision, so all that is left to them is the foolish running back and forth, which is more, rather than less, likely to get them killed. Poor sad squirrels with more adrenalin than sense.

One of my fellow bloggers posted a poem today by one of her favorite poets. She gave a bit of history on the poet, her kinship to the poet, and challenged her readers to do the same. As an English major, this should have been a walk in the park. Poem. Well, let me just pick from the 150 I have memorized, pull out the one that makes me look the most brilliant, (because no one else can understand what the hell it means) and voila. Alas, I don't understand the deeper meanings of most poems. There, I've said it. I am not the most cultured person you're going to meet who is an English major. I am actually pretty down to earth. Sorry. However, I did start a poetry book of personal favorites in college (which is a sister to my quote books). These were poems that I did understand and like. I thought, "I bet it is in the guest room closet with the others." That's what I get for thinking. Ixnay on the oempay. I was feeling a bit like the aforementioned squirrel. Moving on....

I did find my other quote book while I was in there and got distracted. That happens easily. There was this entire section of funny quotes on marriage that I probably didn't truly appreciate until now. I'm divorced. They are so much funnier now. For instance, "My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." ~ Rodney Dangerfield That is hilarious. I am sure I thought it was funny twenty years ago. Now, it's roll on the floor funny. Two very different kinds of funny. So, I thought about going with a bunch of marriage quotes for this blog. It occurred to me that everyone might not find it as funny as me. I am feeling twitchy. Here comes that squirrel. Moving on...


I am blogging in multiple forums. Right now, my life feels really out of control, in so many ways, and making a commitment to write daily is something that doesn't feel too big for me. Of course, if no one is reading, it becomes even more important to have more venues! Someone suggested creating a fanpage on facebook. I am already blogging, but it has my mental gears turning. Me? A fanpage? Really? Who would join? The only people I can see joining are all of the people already on my friends list, and I think some of them are already a bit overwhelmed with my daily writing. So, I pull up my news feed and I see someone has just joined a fanpage. Let's check it out. It's Called I Don't Need Anger Management... You Just Need To Stop Pissin Me Off!! Let's check out their members. They have 1,531,201 members. That is impressive. That says to me that there are a lot of angry people out there. Now, are these regular visitors to this site or did they join just because they liked how the name sounded? There is no information about the site. There are three "discussions" that are all borderline sleep-inducing. I feel a coma coming on just scrolling through the posts. Under the Photos tab, there are a bunch of photos of angry people and buttons. That's kinda funny. There is a Reviews tab that some people have weighed in on, but chances are good that this will be a one-time visit to this site, based on what I am looking at. I would love to have a fanpage with one million plus fans, but I want them because they have read my writing and think I have a witty take on the world, not because they are pissed at it. Do I create a fanpage or not? Yes? No? Yes? No? Is that brakes I hear squealing? Egads. It is tough being a squirrel! Moving on...

This is not my best quality, but when I am feeling really overwhelmed, I block as much stuff as I can. I actively practice avoidance. I admit it. It isn't attractive. I turned on my cell phone today for the first time since Friday. About an hour ago, I dug around in my purse to see exactly when my doctor's appt is because I finally felt able to cope. Turns out it was yesterday at 1:30. Apparently my ability to cope and my appointment are not riding in lockstep with one another. The thing is I had no voicemail and the doctor's office didn't call the house for the reminder about my appointment. Her office knows I am a mental wreck and NEED the reminder phone call. Every time I leave that office I remind the receptionist that I NEED the reminder phone call. I didn't get my reminder phone call. I am not sure that is the right tactic to use tomorrow when I beg for mercy to reschedule, but really! And there's the glare of the headlights. Moving on....

On top of all of these things in my head... "There's more," you say with disbelief. "I know. It's shocking I get anything done at all with all of these thoughts churning around in my brain, vying for my attention," I answer. Back to where I was... I keep thinking about this chiropractor that my mom and I used to go to regularly. At the time, he was doing something called network chiropractic, and occasionally, like-minded chiropractors would have a group session in Atlanta on a Saturday or Sunday. It was pretty cool. For some reason, I didn't go to this particular session, but mom did. Since our doctor worked alone, we weren't used to having other patients being actively "worked on" while we were being "worked on." Mom says they were playing quiet music, and it was very soothing and peaceful, until this fellow started yelling "Stuck, stuck," repeatedly. She said it was all she could do not to laugh, even though she understood. To this day, we can look at each other and say "stuck" and burst out laughing. The truth is, though, that being stuck is not a laughing matter. What the squirrel and I want to know is this: How do you get unstuck without getting run over?

*I posted this on facebook and my friend, Debi, commented at length, but she finished it up with this "Pick up your feet and run to the side of the road. It doesn't matter which side; just go." Once again, I just needed to be smacked upside the head with the obvious. Now the rest of you can focus on the other stuff...