Lucy March doesn't talk very much about her former husband (who she refers to as Fish, in order to keep him anonymous) because her journey is about her. That gave me something to think about. No matter what happens to us, isn't the journey of reclamation about us? Granted, other people or circumstance played their part, but ultimately didn't we (and by we, I mean I) make the choices that landed us where we are?
Well... for Lucy, that has meant examining all of her close relationships and taking a good, long, hard look at them. How did they work? Did they work? You know, that sort of thing. When you do that, sometimes you get some surprises. Not necessarily about the other person in the equation, but about you (and by you, I mean me). What that hands a person is revelation. Things begin to make sense. Patterns emerge. For the good and the bad.
I am amazed, frankly, that she is able to do this every day. Just thinking about it is exhausting. Especially when I feel like I have done so much internal work already. However, I read her blog, I am writing things down like a maniac, and I know that means something. Yeah, it means I am scratching the surface of something. Like I am tapping on a memory. Or an experience. Or a pattern. Or something similar. Not sure yet. It means I need to get in there and break it down.
I guess what I am getting at is this: once I figure out what happened to me before I met The Operator, then I will understand how I ever let myself get dragged into that relationship. What I am saying is that I will be eyeball to eyeball with the demon inside that knew on some level that this was bad and jumped anyway. Maybe I didn't know how bad, but I knew it was bad. Now, how did I get there? Figuring that out has absolutely nothing to do with The Operator and everything to do with me.
I think I know why I called this blog Blog Therapy now. I get it.
Yep. We all make choices. Understanding why we make them could be theraputic for sure!
ReplyDeleteWOW! Gone a fortnight and things appear to have changed... Your blog appears to be bleeding for one ;-) Are you sure this is you? Or maybe this is you just getting there. Like all of us... Today's post is definitely one to ponder...but I'm still in an island sun mode. Just wanted to say "hi"...
ReplyDeletePS Who is this Lucy March?
@Liza ~ Thanks for the encouragement. Not something I will be doing daily. But, it will be a journey.
ReplyDelete@Purple Cow ~ I just changed my layout. Decided to experiment. Not sure if I am keeping this one or not. I am going to try it on for a while and see. This blog is in response to the last three or so. So... when you have time, go back & do some reading b/c that way it will make more sense. I linked Lucy March's blog in this one, but it is also linked in the initial blog that kickstarted this "series." Glad you're back. Missed you!
It is important to examine the past; but more important to reflect on what you learned. Everything happens for a reason. People are put in our lives for various reasons. Sometimes for them to learn from us, sometimes for us to learn from them. Sometimes it is not so important How you got where you are today, but what did you learn about yourself through it all and where are you going? Sometimes you can get so caught up in trying to make sense of what happened that you can loose sight of where you want to be. Not saying that you are...just saying that it is very possible to do that. Make sense?
ReplyDeleteI'm loving this inner reflection! Good for you, Robin. I think it's important to look inward, but like Southern Mitzi said, to also investigate what you've learned. You're on an amazing journey. Thank you for sharing it with us.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Love then new layout!
yep. Know ing what mechnations compose your thought processes is key to changing how you approach new choices and new opportunities. Good luck with sorting through it all.
ReplyDeleteTherapy is a lot of work, I would often describe a session with my therapist as painful, brutal or tough.
ReplyDelete@Mitzi ~ Dredging is important if you can find patterns in order to make changes. You don't want to keep repeating the same bad stuff. If you figure out what is going on with you that draws into relationships that are unhealthy, that makes it a lot easier to put the stop on it before you go there again. I love ya for caring girl!
ReplyDelete@Carol ~ This might be a rocky road. I hope you keep coming back and offering insightful comments. Something tells me that they might be really necessary!
@Chris ~ You know I always appreciate your wisdom. Cleaning out that chicken coop is a stinky job.
@Bathwater ~ I have been in and out of therapy several times when I felt like my life was in crisis. I always felt like the crisis was brought on by others and I was getting batted around. The therapy was just a means to cope with it. You are right in that it may be painful, brutal, and/or tough at times. The thing is that I would rather figure it out now and get mentally healthy than find myself back in another bad relationship. It isn't easy to look at yourself and admit your junk. It's always easier for it to be the other person's fault. However, you don't get any better if you don't claim all of your damage. I've claimed some of mine right here on this blog. But I still have some work. I am going to take your comment as concerned and caring... thanks.
I so agree. We make our choices. We are the masters of our own destiny. Others may effect s but we make the choices. WE chooose how to react to others. WE just have to accept it and move past it..change it.Great post!
ReplyDeleteRobin, the title of this post caught my eye... So I read it first... before catching up.
ReplyDeleteMy recent post on The Shadow Man is really about an IRL person. An ex of sorts... my ex-pastor. We've been out of that church for 4 years or so, maybe longer... I have lost track of time. But he is reading my blog and is there weekly, sometimes daily.
I'm going to check out LM... and catch up here! :0)
That's important work you're doing, Robin. I remember that when I saw a therapist after my first marriage that I had to face up to the fact that everything I ended up hating about him had been evident on the first date. But when I needed his brand of insanity, his control, his whatever, that's what I needed.
ReplyDeleteDon't you love the new blogger template designer? The only thing with me is that I want to change mine too much and there's some expectation that your blog needs to look the same-ish when people visit! I love all the choices!