WHERE DREAMS STOP AND REALITY BEGINS

I have posted about dreams before. This isn't new territory. In fact, I wrote a two part blog on this dream. If you missed it you can click here and here to catch up. I guess what I am trying to say is that I think dreams mean something.

A lot of the time, we work out our problems in our dreams. A friend of mine wrote a blog about that yesterday. She has basically the same dream (in differing variations) many nights. Subconsciously, she is trying to change an outcome on something that happened a long time ago. Obviously, this something was traumatic and the outcome cannot be changed. I know that when I am particularly worried or anxious about someone or something, it will manifest itself in my dreams.

The dreams I blogged about and linked to above are not those kind of dreams.


After I broke up with My First Love (MFL), I don't remember dreaming about him much at all. It was years before I had a dream about him. I only remember the dream because he was never in my dreams. The only part I remember is that we were on a cruise ship. I ran into him and his wife (I didn't know he was married in "real life"). I asked him if he was happy and he said that he was. I could tell that he meant it. And that was it. I woke up feeling really good about him (them) and how things worked out.

After my divorce, my ex was still yanking my chain a lot by using his kids. I had this dream and I actually thought to WRITE IT DOWN afterwards. The date was 7/18/05.

"I don't usually document my dreams and this isn't a dream journal, but I have been struggling with my role in C-Man and H-Girl's life. I had a disturbing dream and here it is:

It started with me alone in an open rolling field on a sunny day. I was joined by an Indian woman in full dress (my first thought: white slavery). I am such an optimist. Anyway, she ignored me thoroughly, despite my best attempts to solicit conversation. Soon we were joined by other women of all races and nationalities, which eased my mind some, though none were inclined to talk to me. Finally, one of the younger Indian women shyly said that, "You have to be 19 to get in here. Everyone here has a talent that they are hoping gets noticed and appreciated."

Well, that explained why everyone but ME was there. What talent did I have??? I was completely stymied. Meanwhile, the "show" began with two women coming forth. One grabbed hold of the other's legs and ran with her until she flew. I definitely couldn't fly. I didn't belong here. Then a multi-generational act followed. Mom, daughter, and baby. At some point during their acrobatics, the grandma hurt her ankle, and it was then that the grass started shifting, and the sand started blowing; I could see underneath the dirt. We were on a graveyard. There were skeletons down there. I started asking everyone if they couldn't see that.

That was when The Announcer said, "It looks like someone found her gift for seeing things as they are."

Suddenly, J-Man (my ex's oldest kid), C-Man, and H-Girl were there in a wagon, but there was no bottom. There were rails for them to sit on. They attached me to the back and then pushed the wagon so that it ran down the hill with me being dragged behind it. We went over sidewalk, gravel, grass ~ all at a very high rate of speed. Very painful for me. The kids were loving it. They were having lots of fun. I was getting beaten all to hell. All the while, realization was dawning all over the place, and I knew with absolute certainty, if I didn't figure out a way to detach myself from that wagon I would die. I tried throwing myself, but the momentum of the wagon, combined with the weight, was too great. Ultimately, I discovered that there was a small Release Button; I just had to push it.

When I did, the kids really picked up speed. I was lying there bleeding, bloody head to toe, and I could hear them screaming, so I stood up and just kept yelling, "Put your feet down." They finally did before they hit the bottom. And then I fell back down onto the ground."

*Dream Over*

I am not sharing this dream because I need any help with the interpretation. I got it. Did I use what I had when I needed to? Nope. Did I understand it at the time? Yep. In real life, if the kids won't put their feet down, no matter how many times you tell them that is what they have to do, then you can't hit the Release Button. I had to move to a different state. That was the only way I could hit the Release Button. That isn't the reason I moved, but it turned out to be one of the side benefits. Anyway, this is my ancient history and there is now enough time and distance that it isn't even an issue in my present.



So, why did I write this post? Dreams. I am not remembering my current dreams as vividly as that one. But certain people are making regular appearances in my dreams, and I know it is significant. I used to pray that Right Guy would show up in my dreams for years after he disappeared out of my real life and.. No Dice. Now, he is playing a leading role in my dreams. What is up with that? One of my best friends (someone that Kristin would call an L3) is also headlining these days. I should say former best friend because that relationship is pretty well wrecked. You can read about that here. Do you ever wish you could do your whole life differently? Right now ~ right in this moment ~ all I can see is the destruction. I lit the match and set my house on fire.




Before I forget, Simon, over at Constant Revisions, is doing some book giveaways. I always enjoy reading his blog. He is funny, cynical, and his blog usually mentions alcohol. Since I had to give that up for the migraines, I drink vicariously through him. Somehow that works for me. I really need a drink today. I may have to visit his page a couple of times to get good and drunk. Cheers!

all photos found at www.weheartit

SHIFTING YOUR REALITY

Why do you blog? Let me change that question... why did you start blogging? Sometimes we can start for one reason, but continue for a different one.


I started blogging, aka writing, because I needed to write again. I needed to do something productive, and I needed someone other than me to read it. In fact, in my mind, I had this picture of my blog working out sorta like the movie FIELD OF DREAMS. If I write it, they will come, was my mentality when I opened my account. I was all enthusiasm, sure that I was going to set the blogging world on fire with my mad writing skills. I look back at that and laugh now. Not with sarcasm, but a full belly laugh. It's funny, right? Because if you're reading this, you know how hard it is to build a loyal readership. Well, I guess it took Kevin Costner some time in the movie, too. He had to build a baseball field, etc. It's not just flipping a switch.

The thing I didn't anticipate was how much enjoyment I would get from reading other people's blogs. I didn't see that coming. In fact, if I have limited time and have to choose between writing my own and reading my subscriptions.... it's a tough call. Sometimes I will choose to read what you guys are writing, unless I have something that I really want to get down on paper, because I LEARN so much.

Here is the kick in the teeth: if you know something to be true, but you don't utilize that truth and make it your own, it does you no good. Now, doesn't that just suck lemons? One of my favorite bloggers, Phoenix, wrote an excellent post about not allowing negative people, events, etc. to suck her energy anymore. This may or may not be a new concept for you. It's truth is undeniable. Negativity sucks our energy. Our spirit. Eventually that may mean our good health. As long as we keep that door open, it keeps sucking. It comes at us as people and things. If you don't know what I am talking about, think about whatever steals your joy. That is the culprit. What has you stomping around and cursing and wanting to throw things? There it is. Anyway, I read that post and it did a flashsideways with my current book (yeah, that was a LOST reference ~ couldn't help it).

If you have never read Richard Bach's books you're missing out. Period. Being on vacation made it hard for me to work on my own novel, but did enable me to read more of RUNNING FROM SAFETY by Richard Bach. Even though I could have gulped it; I savor his books like a fine wine. Therefore, I am still not quite halfway finished. That does move my actual finish date up from Thanksgiving to Halloween:-) I am digressing....

So how does this wonderful book and Phoenix's blog flashsideways? Well, she figured out that getting angry and allowing negativity to suck your energy steals your joy. In the chapter I had just finished Richard was talking with his wife about how pointless it was to get angry. She reminded him that she had seen him angry plenty of times. He then sets about explaining that it's because in that instant he forgets that it's just a game. He gets caught up in that he might lose this or that, or is afraid of something being taken away, that he becomes angry. However, once he remembers that it is a game (his perception is restored), then the anger becomes just a mood of the game, and it fades immediately.

If you're scratching your head right now, that's okay. I tried to explain something rather complicated in a few sentences that he knew required a book. The thing that both of these people have in common is that they are taking their reality and shifting it. People change their reality all of the time. I know that is true. I have read it on here. People are shaking their boxes and changing their lives. They are cutting out the negative and only letting in the positive and it is changing their game. Me: I keep pulling the pain card with my migraines in my game, and I am really tired of that. I am ready to change games. Like I said, if you know something to be true, but you don't utilize it and make it your own, then it does you no good.

MY THEORY ON GOD

A friend posted the question that never gets old: does God exist? This is a tough question, folks, and if you are not an open thinker, I strongly advise you to skip this blog. Come back for something light-hearted and fun. Religion and politics are tough subjects for some people; they have their minds made up and don't want to hear anything else. You know what? I'm okay with that. The deal is I accept what other people believe. I let them have it and don't judge them for it. I figure that they put some thought into what they believe and anything I say won't change it. With that in mind...


I grew up in the United Methodist Church. The first book I bought for myself was on ESP. It never occurred to me that the two were mutually exclusive. I believed in what the Bible said. I also believed in ESP. In the eleventh grade, a good friend of mine loaned me a book by Richard Bach called ILLUSIONS. I think that was the second book that blew my mind. THE OUTSIDERS was the first. Ironically, she was reading it in Sunday School class. That would never have flown at my church. It isn't a long read in terms of time, so I read it repeatedly. Good thing I wasn't still doing the Sunrise Service.

I tried to find something on Wikipedia to adequately explain, in brief, what this book was about. This was the best I got: "Donald Shimoda is one of the two main characters in Illusions. He is a messiah who leaves his job of being a messiah (and also of being a mechanic at a garage) after deciding that people value the showbiz-like performance of miracles and want to be entertained by those miracles more than to understand the message behind them. He meets Richard, a fellow barn-storming pilot and begins to pass on his knowledge to him, even teaching Richard to perform "miracles" of his own." Well, that is sadly lacking. Donald Shimoda has in his glovebox a "Messiah's Handbook" which Richard discovers. Each time he opens it, the message is different. He discovers that the message he gets is the one he most needs. For instance, "Perspective - Use It or Lose It. If you turned to this page, you're forgetting that what is going on around you is not reality. Think about that."

That right there was enough to blow my mind. WHAT IS GOING ON AROUND YOU IS NOT REALITY. THINK ABOUT THAT. My friend was learning this in Sunday School!!!!

Here's another: "The simplest questions are the most profound. Where were you born? Where is your home? Where are you going? What are you doing? Think about these once in awhile, and watch your answers change."



And so began the great shift of my life. But, then again, not really. I was already fully capable of holding WHAT OTHER PEOPLE people believed to be mutually exclusive ideas in my head. What I was really doing was expanding, opening, making way for more knowledge. That can be a little scary. So, my senior year of high school I read The Bible. I read the entire Bible, voluntarily, cover to cover, and joined a Bible study group.

I also read every Richard Bach book I could get my hands on. He has written quite a few. He addresses all manner of interesting concepts. ILLUSIONS just picked up where JONATHAN LIVINGSTON SEAGULL left off and went on to address many philosophical issues. If I had to guess I would say that Mr. Bach believes in God. He believes in a lot of the same stuff I believe in, but we haven't gotten there yet.

In fact, I thought this blog was going to be about this dream I had and then this experience my cousin had, and now I know that I am going to have to write yet ANOTHER blog to get to ALL OF THAT another day.

Instead, I am stuck sharing what I learned from my Bible reading, and what life experience I have thus far. Keep this in mind, I didn't have all of these opinions in the 12th grade, and I have gone back and read some Bible since. I don't like most of The Old Testament. I don't. I don't think most of it makes sense. I think a lot of it is parable or allegory or representational or whatever. I think they are lessons of what you should and shouldn't do. One of the things that I dislike most about The Old Testament is right here: "God's Chosen People." I am apologizing to any Jews who are taking offense right now. That is not an anti-Semitic statement. I don't think God is anti-anybody. I don't think any race, gender, religion, or person with the "right" color of hair has proprietary rights to God. I don't think a person with red hair gets their prayers answered more, faster, or better than someone with blond or brown hair. Wars are fought over this. People have died over this issue dating pre-Christ. This is not a new problem.


Some of the Psalms are really beautiful and some really speak to the sadness that people still feel today. I can get behind that. I like The New Testament better than The Old Testament. I still look at it and think about how long it was between when the events happened and how long before they were put on paper. I know they got some of it wrong. No, I didn't just get struck by lightning. Did you know that all of the disciples wrote a book on Jesus's life? Do you know why that they aren't in The Bible? They were TOO DIFFERENT from the other accounts. John's account is pretty far from Matthew, Mark, and Luke. They were stretching it with him. Do you know why they went with Paul's stuff, instead of all the other people who followed Jesus and spanned out to tell the message? Paul went to Rome. Rome was in power. The Pope was in Rome. The Pope decided what got put in The Bible and what didn't. It was pure politics. I know that doesn't please some of you. I wasn't happy when I found it out, either.

Now, let's set all of that aside. The question was, does God exist? Let's say He does. Just go with me. And God sends down "special" people from time to time to try and get humanity on a better track. The Bible calls them prophets, because they seem to "know" things. I would call them psychics today. However, there was all that strife I was talking about before in the OT (bad stuff, wars, slavery, etc), and it wasn't much better when Jesus was born. The Church could have, and should have been, making the lives of its parishioners easier, but it wasn't. It was taxing them to death. People were paying money they didn't have so that they didn't go to hell. It was bad. The Church was using God for profit. I wouldn't have wanted to be the person to upset that apple cart. The Church was Powerful.

So, here's what I think. God sent Jesus here to change how people saw God. The OT painted God as the God of Vengeance, the God of War, Burning Bush, Tower of Babel, Light You on Fire God. That is how the church got away with what they were doing. Jesus was special. Jesus was not only psychic. Jesus could remember what The Other Side looked like. He knew where He came from and where He was going to. He remembered what we forget when we are born. What was special about him was that He didn't forget his life plan. His plan was pretty simple actually. Change the way people see God. He was also not cluttered up with "reality" because he understood "reality" in a way that we don't. The only reason we can't walk on water is because we don't think we can. It's about perception and his was different because his reality was different. He needed that. People saw that as miracles. He needed the miracles to get everyone's attention. He had the power to heal because he believed he could.

He was tapped into something that we all have access to; we just don't know how to get there. We forget. He needed to remember in order to fulfill his purpose. People made his purpose bigger than what it was. They talk about "being saved." I think he probably said that. He wanted to save them from each other. He wanted them to stop fighting. He wanted them to stop claiming God, and using Him to hurt each other. People didn't understand. The one thing that they did get was the part about God being the Father and Jesus saying he was the Son. Do I think he meant he was the Only son? No. He wanted to let them know how God loved them. He loved them like a parent does a child, and not with vengeance. His message was simple. People made it complicated.

So, yeah, I think God does exist. I think he sent Jesus here with full knowledge of The Other Side, and God, and that was how he was able to do all of the amazing things that he did in his lifetime. I don't think that he died to save us from sin. Again, no lightning. I think he died because the church just couldn't have that kind of message going around that "you didn't need to tithe if you didn't have it, and God was a loving Father, instead of a God of Fire." I think that all of those people who die, and talk about seeing the white light or the white tunnel, are on their way to The Other Side. I think that people who talk to people who have already died, just before they die, are actually seeing and talking to their loved ones ~ they are in that in-between place ~ crossing the veil, so to speak ~ and on their way to The Other Side. I believe in a lot more than that, actually, but I have another blog to write. One of the best shows to address the God issue was Joan of Arcadia. I did a little feature of it on my other blog. There are a few clips that are well worth watching. If you are at all interested, you can click here and it will take you to that post. And I will save my dream/cousin story for another day.

Other suggested reading: THE OTHER SIDE AND BACK by Sylvia Browne