So, You've Got A Fast Car...

We* interrupt our** previously scheduled posts*** to show you this:

*there is no "we", it's really just me
**there is no "our," again, it's just me
***I had no previously scheduled posts... rocky start, no?

Let's put up some "traveling music" to help us get through this post. It's optional, but recommended.



Well, as you surely surmised, I made a "boo boo" with my car today.

When I left the house, I was a couple miles out when I attempted to make a call using the Bluetooth in the car. Nothing. I forgot my phone at home. And that is the precise moment I said to myself, "Oh dear. I hope I don't have an accident. It would really suck to get into an accident and not have my phone." That internal dialogue was followed up with mental reminders that I'd driven for many years before cell phones were around. Long trips even. Did I have an accident? No. Did I get lost? Horribly. But, I survived it. Really, I was just being a baby about the whole thing, and I decided to (mostly) not think about it.

But, I couldn't help but mention it to the clerk when I was checking out.... again indicating that I intended to drive exceedingly safely because I'd forgotten my phone. We both agreed it was a real pain when you forget your phone, and I was on my way. Less than 2 miles later... kaboom.

So, you must be thinking, "How did this happen with such a deliberate intent at avoiding said accident?" (You do know that I kinda knew this was going to happen before it did, right??? Usually I'm not all that psychic about myself, but I had a feeling.)

THE CRASH

I was making a left hand turn (busy intersection). The light had gone yellow. I'm out in the intersection. OBVIOUSLY, I thought it was clear. I thought the oncoming car was too far to make the light and went. BUT, this is Jacksonville and "yellow" doesn't mean stop, but instead means "go faster." So, I turned and she went faster... and kaboom.

The crazy thing was I didn't even see her until she was impacting my car. After pulling my car onto the triangular median (and off the road) a Navy Corpsman (as well as several non-Navy folks) stopped to ask if I was okay. I was. Surprisingly, I was. I don't know if the not seeing it coming prevented me from tensing in anticipation or my guardian angels in heaven wrapped me up and held onto me, but I was good. Not a scratch.

So, as I waited the hour for the police to arrive I noticed several things. 1) I didn't melt down. I didn't even cry. This is major progress, people. I simply prayed a little prayer and thanked God for bringing me through this whole thing. I also thanked the good Lord that my mom was NOT in the car (as she hit the passenger side). 2) I felt really good about people. So many people who were turning right (directly in front of my car) rolled down their window to ask if I was okay. That was outstanding. Made me think that people really are good at heart (once again).

THE AFTERMATH

 

Tonight, as I moved further into the contemplative I wondered if this accident was a wake-up call. Was this a prod from up above to start living? I've pretty well been living like Benjamin Button, but I'm not actually getting any younger. Instead, I've been idling for years in the land of hoping and wishing that my life will improve. Not saying I'm doing nothing, but I haven't been attacking life with ferocity and vigor, either. Truth be told, I've kinda just been hanging around waiting to die. I hate to say it so harshly, but that's pretty much the truth. My enthusiasm for the living got buried in the pain of the migraines. Not to mention that it's just easier to not do it. Not go out. Not meet people. Not give anyone the opportunity to emotionally wreck you. Just not.

But, that isn't living. And when that car crashed into me I realized that I didn't want to die. I wasn't ready to die. I'm young. I don't exactly have my health, but I'm gaining on it. I'm not ready for that hotel in the sky.

So, I'm going to get back to my novel, join that Meet Up group, and say "Yes" more. Don't let me skate on this stuff. If it looks like I'm lounging around just waiting to kick off, give me a jab in the rib cage. I most certainly don't want another car crash to remind me to live.