Monday, January 25, 2016
Soundtrack of My Life ~ The Knockout
Okay, we've established my senior year was really just one big party.
And still.. I made decent grades. Woohoo. I graduated with a degree in English and a loose plan for my future. When my friend Sag moved to Jersey after she graduated (one year before me) to work in The City, I started to think that sounded like a fine plan. I'd get a job in publishing and work in NYC. So, that was my plan.
A couple weeks before graduation, J1 called me on the phone. Yeah, I know you thought he was gone. Me too. And all the feelings I hoped were dead and buried, not so. They all came bubbling up to the surface, particularly when he told me his plan.
He joined the Army for a 4 year tour and put Germany as his first choice in placement. I really thought I'd just keel over and die on the spot. My mind was screaming things like, "What were you thinking?" I think I gurgled in response.
Sometimes you get crystal clear clarity when you realize you could lose someone. And that was how this decision felt to me. I realized I loved him. I didn't want him to do this thing, but it couldn't be undone. And I wouldn't love him less if I bowed out and he got himself killed. I'd just feel like I missed time. More time.
So, he and I crafted a plan for him to come to NYC (where I'd be at the end of his boot camp training) for part of his break before flying to Germany. Despite it being the worst of circumstances, we were finally both all in on this thing. At least, I thought we were all in...
If you're enjoying these posts, feel free to share your own Soundtrack. This isn't a hop. No requirements at all, but a suggestion to do it one song at a time. (If you participated in the hop several years ago, you can still do this. Just post them one song at a time, with the freedom to add more songs if you'd like.) I'll link to all participants at the bottom of each of these posts:
StMcC Presents BATTLE OF THE BANDS
Cherdo on the Flipside
Holli's Hoots and Hollers
THE DOGLADY'S DEN
Mean Who You Are