The Soundtrack Of My Life, Mirror Mirror On The Wall

I recently finished the book Wild by Cheryl Strayed. The book was about two things 1) What it's like to walk thousands of miles on the Pacific Crest Trail, and 2) How you heal the holes in your heart by doing something like walk the Pacific Crest Trail.

I've spent a lot of time in therapy the past two years tapping out all of this garbage (my own version of the Pacific Crest Trail). Much of what you're reading here are Significant Events in my life that before tapping felt just as devastating in the present as the past. Fortunately, that's no longer the case. I recognize it sucked, and it shaped many of the (bad) decisions I made later, but it doesn't feel like a stake in the heart anymore. (Good thing, people. It's progress.)

Anyway, after reading Wild it gave me another means of understanding these things. These events all created holes in my heart. Lots and lots of holes. (Some of the biggest holes we have are things we believe about ourselves, but aren't actually true. It's just something someone else said that we accepted as true. And that is what we're addressing today...) So much of what will come after this is all the things I unknowingly did to fill those holes I didn't know I had. I tried to fill them with people and various things. None of that works. No person can fill that hole for you. No thing can fill it for you. Only you can heal that shit up. From this place where I am now... it astounds me that the greatest damage in most of our lives occurs in middle/junior high school and high school. We spend so much time after that trying to fill those holes, but often just making more. What a freakin' mess.

Circa 1978, a few years before this incident, but still... so damn unpretty.

On to the story for today.

When: Sometime in junior high school
Where: Some class I can't even remember, but wasn't mine
Why: I don't even remember

So what happened? I brought a note to a teacher in a class that wasn't mine. Maybe it was from the library, since I worked in the library in junior high. I walked in the door and several boys started making barking noises. You know, like I was a dog. Ugly. As in not pretty.

The whole thing lasted maybe thirty seconds.

Of course, those boys weren't the only people in that school who made me feel that way. That happened on a daily basis.

But that one incident filled me with shame and humiliation YEARS after the fact. I'm positive those boys don't even remember it. Probably forgot it before the class period ended.

The one thing I'm certain that junior high school does is make people feel so damn unpretty. This feeling leaves a hole that many people spend their entire lives trying to fill. I've spent more time than I'd care to admit. Even now, I find myself looking in the mirror not liking anything from my hair to my shoes. It's only in the last few years that I've come to realize that voice is 13-year-old me still feeling insecure, unloved, and unpretty. I have to constantly tell her to shut the fuck up. (Pardon my language, but those negative tape loops are pervasive and only respond to vigorous language.)

One last thing before the song. I know some people didn't care for the movie Pretty Woman... for reasons to large to elaborate on here. However, I loved that movie if for nothing else, this one bit of dialogue that occurred somewhere in the middle of the movie. It spoke to this gaping hole in my own heart (that shockingly enough I didn't realize was STILL there). Now it says to me that way too many people allow negative tape loops to take over the brain. We allow other people and their cruelty to become our own way of speaking to ourselves, thinking about ourselves, etc. And that voice drives our choices. That voice convinces us to make terrible decisions. So, what was the dialogue?

Since you asked so nicely:

Vivian: People put you down enough, you start to believe it.
Edward Lewis: I think you are a very bright, very special woman.
Vivian: The bad stuff is easier to believe. You ever notice that?

(Courtesy of IMDB.) Bolding mine.

Did you feel unpretty in school? Does the 13-year-old inside still sneak out and sucker punch you? Have you healed up the holes in your heart?

If you're enjoying these posts, feel free to share your own Soundtrack. This isn't a hop. No requirements at all, but a suggestion to do it one song at a time. (If you participated in the hop several years ago, you can still do this. Just post them one song at a time, with the freedom to add more songs if you'd like.) I'll link to all participants at the bottom of each of these posts:

StMcC Presents BATTLE OF THE BANDS

The Soundtrack of My Life, A Window For Every Door

If you read the last Soundtrack post, it wasn't pretty. It was junior high school. Well, we aren't outta them woods yet.

BUT, today's story is a nice one. Whew!

Date: First day of 7th grade
Place: Hallway outside of health class

You're probably wondering why we're in the hall. Well, the gym teacher taught health class. I can't really remember the guy except he was big and had no neck. Yep, one of those guys, so he was coming from the gym, and he was late.

Meanwhile, I started talking to this blonde haired girl that I didn't know while we waited. She was really nice (unlike so many other people at this dreadful place). Turned out we had quite a few classes together. She would become my best friend all through high school, and someone that I'm still extremely fond of today. You can call her Jennifer The First. Jennifer was a popular name in the 60s and there are lots of 'em in my demographic.

Anyway, as I loosed myself from the girl down the street and the girl one street over, I found myself a new group of friends. Jennifer The First, Jenny, Michelle, and Kris. We all were in band, choir, etc. Some of us also loved theatre. These people saved my life. I'm so thankful for them. But most of all for Jennifer The First.

I know this song isn't actually geared toward friends. But I do thank God for each of them. I've got to give credit where credit is due... I thank God for you.

Well, I've been called a self-made man
And girl don't you believe it's true
I know exactly how lucky I am
When I'm gettin' this close to you

It's high time I'm giving some praise
To those that got me where I am today

I got to thank mama for the cookin'
Daddy for the whuppin'
The Devil for the trouble that I get into

I go to give credit where credit is due
I thank the bank for the money
Thank God for you

A strong heart and a willing hand
That's the secret to my success
A good women, I try to be a good man
A good job, Lord, I know I've been blessed

I'm just a part of a greater plan
It doesn't matter which part I am

I got to thank mama for the cookin'
Daddy for the whuppin'
The Devil for the trouble that I get into

I go to give credit where credit is due
I thank the bank for the money
Thank God for you

I got to thank mama for the teachin'
Daddy for the preachin'
The Devil for the trouble that I get into

I got to give credit where credit is due
I thank the bank for the money
Thank God for you

Mama
Daddy
Devil

Yeah, I got to give credit where credit is due
I thank the bank for the money
Thank God for you

I thank mama
I thank daddy
Devil

Well, I got to give credit where credit is due
I thank the bank for the money
Thank God for you

Can you imagine what this life would be like without friends to make it all bearable?

If you're enjoying these posts, feel free to share your own Soundtrack. This isn't a hop. No requirements at all, but a suggestion to do it one song at a time. (If you participated in the hop several years ago, you can still do this. Just post them one song at a time, with the freedom to add more songs if you'd like.) I'll link to all participants at the bottom of each of these posts:

StMcC Presents BATTLE OF THE BANDS

The Soundtrack of My Life, The Hellfire of Junior High School

Are you tired of learning all about me yet? This might be the deciding post. You'll either be "all in" or ready to throw it in.

So, my dad didn't die, and we moved to central Ohio in a lower middle class area. It was 1980 and kids still played in the street. Atari hadn't been invented yet. And the world became a truly scary place.

I made friends with a girl down the street who went to Catholic school, while I attended public school. I considered her my "best" friend. At (public) school, I made friends with a girl one street over. I guess she was my other best friend. Or second best friend.

Anyway, the girl down the street decided to go to public school that next year (7th grade and the first year of junior high school). So, I suggested that we walk to school with my other best friend (one street over). It was only a couple of weeks before they were super chummy and I was the third wheel on a two-wheeled bike. I don't recall precisely how long after that my "best friend" said that I could walk behind them, but not beside them on our walks to school.

I know exactly what I would say to that Bullsh@t now, but then... I wasn't allowed to say those words. And the shock of hearing what she said... honestly, it took my breath away. I also can't recall how long we went on like that before I picked up what remained of my self esteem and started walking to school alone.

Meanwhile, at school there were also "problems." There was this girl who took an extraordinary amount of joy from bullying others. I didn't know then that I was just one of the people she drew blood from on a daily basis. (Thank you Facebook for reuniting people as adults so that we can share our horror stories... only to find out we're not as alone as we think. But always more alone than we'd want.) Anyway, those stories were daily... and we don't have time for that. So, I'll just share one:

One day in Home Ec we'd cooked a meal. I was sitting at my table, the first of my table peers to arrive. And this girl stands behind me holding a cup of juice over my head. And she says, "You're nobody in this school. In fact, I could pour this juice over your head and no one would care." And then we both just froze. Me in horror. Her in glee. And she held that glass of juice over my head for 24 hours. Okay, maybe 30 seconds. But it felt like 24 hours. The worst part was I believed every word she said. I was no one at the school. No one would care if she dumped that juice on my head.

This song sums up how I felt... but what I didn't have the guts to say. You know, because I wasn't anyone at that school.

I need someone, a person to talk to
Someone to care, to love
Could it be you, could it be you
Situation gets rough then I start to panic

It's not enough, it's just a habit
Hey, kid you're sick well, darling this is it

You can all just kiss off into the air
Behind my back I can see them stare

They'll hurt me bad but I won't mind
They'll hurt me bad, they do it all the time
Yeah, yeah, they do it all the time

I hope you know that this will go down

On your permanent record
Oh yeah, well don't get so distressed
Did I happen to mention that I'm in the press

I take one, one, one cause you left me and

Two, two, two for my family and
Three, three, three for my heartache and
Four, four, four for my headaches and
Five, five, five for my lonely and
Six, six, six for my sorrow and

Seven, seven for no tomorrow and
Eight, eight I forget what eight was for but
Nine, nine, nine cause I've lost God and
Ten, ten, ten, ten for everything
Everything, everything, everything
 

You can all just kiss off into the air
Behind my back I can see them stare

They'll hurt me bad but I won't mind
They'll hurt me bad, they do it all the time
Yeah, yeah, they do it all the time

I've come to realize that no one really liked junior high school (or middle school). What song would you choose to describe that time in your life?

If you're enjoying these posts, feel free to share your own Soundtrack. This isn't a hop. No requirements at all, but a suggestion to do it one song at a time. (If you participated in the hop several years ago, you can still do this. Just post them one song at a time, with the freedom to add more songs if you'd like.) I'll link to all participants at the bottom of each of these posts:

StMcC Presents BATTLE OF THE BANDS

The Soundtrack of My Life, Tumbling Down

I'm back a day late with Battle of the Band results (gave you all one extra day to get those votes in). The song was Ho Hey. The Lumineers vs. The Stella Sisters. How did it turn out? Well, really good. More of you than I expected had heard of The Lumineers. None of you had heard of The Stella Sisters, and even those who didn't vote for them... liked them. I'd say that was a successful battle. It was a tight race for a while. They were tied, then The Lumineers pulled ahead, and then The Stella Sisters came from behind and took the race. Here's the final tally with my vote..

The Lumineers: 10

The Stella Sisters: 15

My vote is for The Stella Sisters, though I really like the version by The Lumineers. The Stella Sisters are on the TV show Nashville. Every week they shock me with how darn good they are. 

On to The Soundtrack of My Life.

Family Pic just before it all came tumbling down. My dad looks fine, doesn't he? Oh how deceiving a picture can be.

When I was ten years old, my dad became very sick. I'm trying to remember what I know now vs then (because they are very different). I didn't really get it then. He was sick. He stopped going to work. My mom drove him to Miami to the VA Hospital where he stayed for what seemed a long time. I have no idea how long it actually was. He spent a lot of time pacing the back yard. And still... I didn't really have a clue as to what was going on or how sick he was. 

So, I was shocked when my parents made the decision to sell our house in Florida and move to Ohio. We'd be living with my grandparents for an undetermined length of time.

At first, all I could think about was the loss of my dancing. Missing my friends. Kid stuff. And it stayed that way for a long time.

It was when we were in Ohio and I overheard my mom talking to Grandma that I grasped what was happening. My mom said something like, "I'm really afraid Bob (my dad) might die." And my grandma said something in agreement with that, and probably followed it up with something reassuring. I just remember hearing the words "dad" and "die" in the same sentence.

As anyone who's read this blog for any length of time knows... my dad didn't actually die until 2011. So, this wasn't the end for him. It was the end for life as we knew it. He eventually got better and we moved out of my grandparents' house. But that idyllic time from the last post was over. I now knew about death and dying and that it can happen to anyone at any time. The world is not a safe place.

Well I was moving at the speed of sound.
Head-spinning, couldn't find my way around, and
Didn't know that I was going down.
Yeah, yeah.
Where I've been, well it's all a blur.
What I was looking for, I'm not sure.
Too late and didn't see it coming.
Yeah, yeah.

And then I crashed into you,
And I went up in flames.
Could've been the death of me,
But then you breathed your breath in me.
And I crashed into you,
Like a runaway train.
Your will consumed me,
But I can't walk away.

Somehow, I couldn't stop myself.
I just wanted to know how it felt.
Too strong, I couldn't hold on.
Yeah, yeah.
Now I'm just tryin' to make some sense
Out of how and why this happened.
Where we're heading, there's just no knowing.
Yeah, yeah.

And then I crashed into you,
And I went up in flames.
Could've been the death of me,
But then you breathed your breath in me.
And I crashed into you,
Like a runaway train.
Your will consumed me,
But I can't walk away.

From your face, your eyes
Are burning to me.
You saved me, you gave me
Just what I need.
Oh, just what I need.

And then I crashed into you,
And I went up in flames.
Could've been the death of me,
But then you breathed your breath in me.
And I crashed into you,
Like a runaway train.
Your will consumed me,
But I can't walk away.

And then I crashed into you,
And then I crashed into you,
And then I crashed into you,
And then I crashed into you,
And I crashed into you,
Like a runaway train.
Your will consumed me,
But I can't walk away.

Do you remember when you discovered the world simply isn't a safe place? It rocked my world. How did you take it?

If you're enjoying these posts, feel free to share your own Soundtrack. This isn't a hop. No requirements at all, but a suggestion to do it one song at a time. (If you participated in the hop several years ago, you can still do this. Just post them one song at a time, with the freedom to add more songs if you'd like.) I'll link to all participants at the bottom of each of these posts:

StMcC Presents BATTLE OF THE BANDS

The Soundtrack of My Life, The Wonder Years

This is the second installment of The Soundtrack of My Life. If you missed the first, click here.

If you're here to vote on Battle of the Bands, click here. If you haven't voted yet, I encourage you to do so. The song is fun  AND short (for you to A to Zers). I'll announce the winner on the 22nd... along with my second installment of this.

If you're actually here to read THIS post, well you're in the right place.

So this will be the largest amount of time I group together for just one song. The first ten years of my life. The wonder years.

Family Pic taken at Nanny's house. 

One of the things my therapist does on occasion is ask me to close my eyes and remember a time I felt truly happy. I tend to pick from this time period. Seems like everything was joy back then. Uncluttered happiness. Nothing bad had happened to me yet. I didn't know about death. Or bullies. Or dreams not coming true. None of it. Everything was just possibility. I remember thinking, "I can be anything I want. Anything. The entire world is mine." The fact that I didn't know what I wanted didn't make the possibility less real.

I've already written a blog post about my love of dancing. If you didn't read that (it was a long time ago) and you want to... click here. Dance and gymnastics were one of those pure things that existed in my life at the time. (I could've picked the song You Don't Mess Around with Jim by Jim Croce for this time as well. The dance studio I went to had a tap routine to this song, and I LOVED it. I still remember playing that song and tap dancing in my garage.)

I also remember spending a lot of time on my bicycle. We lived in a mostly unpopulated area with very little traffic. Lots of woods in between houses. My parents called it the boondocks. It was great for a kid. All of the open road I wanted. So, when my therapist asks for me to pull into focus a moment of happiness, that is the one I usually choose. I can feel my legs pedalling. The sun on my face. The breeze in my hair. And lightness in my heart. Often I'd sing at the top of my lungs as I rode. One of my favorites was Top of the World.

And that is the song for today. That was exactly how I felt during those years.

Such a feelings coming over me
There is wonder in most every thing I see
Not a cloud in the sky, got the sun in my eyes
And I won't be surprised if it's a dream

Everything I want the world to be
Is now coming true especially for me
And the reason is clear, it's because you are here
You're the nearest thing to Heaven that I've seen

I'm on the top of the world looking down on creation
And the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I've found ever since you've been around
Your love's put me at the top of the world

Something in the wind has learned my name
And it's telling me that things are not the same
In the leaves on the trees and the touch of the breeze
There's a pleasing sense of happiness for me

There is only one wish on my mind
When this day is through I hope that I will find
That tomorrow will be just the same for you and me
All I need will be mine if you are here

I'm on the top of the world looking down on creation
And the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I've found ever since you've been around
Your love's put me at the top of the world

I'm on the top of the world looking down on creation
And the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I've found ever since you've been around
Your love's put me at the top of the world

 What song would you choose to encompass your Wonder Years?

I invite ALL OF YOU to participate in this adventure. (It's actually fun and interesting to pair up the events of your life to music. Who knew?) It's not a hop. You don't need to post on a certain day. You aren't limited to the number of songs, but I'm doing it one song at a time so that people can actually listen to the song:) Other than that...  It's all whatever you want, whenever you want. If you decide to do it, just include The Soundtrack of My Life in the title. If you let me know in the comments I'll begin linking your blog at the end of each of these so that other people can read and listen. So far, I've got one "taker" for this invite. He won't be posting his first installment until the 21st, because he wants to give everyone time to vote on Battle of the Bands. He's got a HOT RACE going on over there, so if you want to contribute to the vote, head on over! But be sure to go back on the 21st and catch his first installment of The Soundtrack of My Life. The list of participants begins:

StMcC Presents BATTLE OF THE BANDS

HERE'S TO YOU FRIDAY

First, thank you for voting on Battle of the Bands. You're all awesome.

Second, if you're here for Battle of the Bands, go back one post.

Third, I know it's not Thursday, but things are running more than a little crazy here. So, you get what you get. And what you get is HERE'S TO YOU FRIDAY!

So, let's get this party started!

This one's for everyone:


This one's for A Beer For The Shower:


This one is for Stephen T. McCarthy at StMcC Presents BATTLE OF THE BANDS:



This one is for Andrea at Maybe it's just me...:



This one is for Jay Noel:


This one is for Dixie at dcrelief ~ BATTLE OF THE BANDS:

Battle of the Bands ~ Ho Hey

I'm going to try and keep the "talk" brief. I know many of you are still participating in the A to Z. Are you feeling about half dead right now? If I recall correctly, it was about this time (when I participated in the past) that I began to actively burn out. Melt down. It really wasn't pretty. So, hang in there Alphabet Gang. I'm gonna do you a solid and give you a short song in this Battle of the Bands face-off.

However, I just want to take one minute and tell you I'm going to start posting with a fair amount of regularity (one song per post) The Soundtrack of My Life. If you want to do your own variation I will add a link at the bottom of each so that others can find you. There aren't any rules, and it isn't a "hop." My first post in this series precedes this one.

Now, on to the song. Ho Hey! Yep, that's the name of the song. It was recorded first by The Lumineers, but has been covered more than once. Since I suspect many of you have never heard the version by The Lumineers that should eliminate much of the bias of familiarity. It will be interesting to see how this one pans out.

The Lumineers singing Ho Hey!:



The Stella Sisters singing Ho Hey!:


For more Battle of the Bands fun, check out the other BOTB bloggers to vote on their battles:

• Far Away Series
• Stephen T. McCarthy's Battle of the Bands Blog
• Tossing it Out
• DiscConnected 
• This Belle Rocks
• Mike's Ramblings
• Curious as a Cathy 
• Book Lover
• The Sound of One Hand Typing
• dcrelief ~ Battle of the Bands
• Alex J. Cavanaugh (sometimes)

If you are participating in Battle of the Bands, and you are not listed here, leave me a note in the comments. Thanks!

Now, is the critical moment. It is time to vote for your favorite version of this song. I even encourage you to leave me long comment explaining all the ins and outs of why you voted as you did! 

The Soundtrack of My Life, Day 1

A while ago (a couple weeks maybe? a month?) Stephen T. McCarthy posted some songs that were akin to Theme Songs on his blog. That started me thinking about my life and what sort of mix tape would play if I were to create one. And that has led to this Let Me Introduce You To "This" Concept. I've decided that over the course of Who Knows How Long I'm going to post a short (to medium short to slightly long) blog bit to correspond with a song from the Soundtrack Of My Life.

In the thinking about this idea, I've come to realize that a great deal of my life is Phases. Some of those were months, others years. Some of the songs I really identified with at that specific time. Others I realize (now) are apt descriptors of that time of my life.

By no means does this mean I'm blogging about this exclusively. It doesn't mean my endeavor to move through Train albums is over. It just means I'm introducing something new that (I hope) will happen with regularity. I invite you to mull over your own life. If, in the mulling, you decide that this idea sounds pretty cool, AND it's something you'd like to do on your blog... do it!

This isn't a hop. There is no Linky List. If, at any time, you decide to create a Soundtrack of Your Life (one song at a time) and post them on your own blog, I will add you to the bottom of each of these blogs I write with a link. There is no date you must post on. No date you must start on. No date you must finish on. There is actually no set rules of any kind. You can post a song for every year of your life. Every event of your life. Every phase of your life. Or a combination of the above. In other words, there really aren't any rules.

I will begin this endeavor by posting my first song. It's called Wonder by Natalie Merchant. I'm choosing it for two reasons 1) Particularly when I was at my lowest (about the time this song was recorded... or shortly thereafter) I felt like I was a shining example of God's creation gone absurdly wrong. In other words, I felt like anything but a Wonder of God's Own Creation. 2) I've decided, once again, that I am wonder of God's own creation. Just like you. Just like each and every one of us.

In any event, this is Day 1.





Is this something you'd like to do on your blog? If so, let me know and I'll post a link here. Do you feel like one of the wonders of God's creation?

HERE'S TO YOU THURSDAY

I'm still throwing out these HERE'S TO YOU posts with an alarming irregularity. The good news is that my Internet is fixed and I can't use the tired excuse of Lack Of Internet any longer. If you're wondering where your E-mail is... well, I'm getting there. I promise!

I've even discarded what used to be the standard prelude to HERE'S TO YOU. I've learned over the years that if you don't get your dedication you'll 1) tell me in the comments or 2) send me an email. Either way works. The most important thing I can say about this entire endeavor is that it's meant to celebrate what you're putting out there (and if my thoughts on your thoughts are too far off on the tangent line as to be incomprehensible... well, that's just me).

So, let's celebrate you. Thank you for sharing in this forum. HERE'S TO YOU!!!!!

This one is for everyone:



This one is for Dixie at DCRelief and Far Away Eyes at Far Away Series:
Ironically, now that we're in the A to Z, MANY of you chose this show as your "F" post. So, if that was YOU, add your name to this dedication. I think you'll love it!



This one is for Gossip Girl at Trailer Homes and Gardens:



This one is for Shoes at Red Shoe's Chronicles:



This one is for Roland D. Yeomans at Writing in The Crosshairs:



This one is for Kim at This Belle Rocks:



This one is for A Beer For The Shower:


This one is for Susan Gourley/Kelley at Susan Says:

Three Big Things

As always, seems like I'm packing SO MUCH into one blog that it feels like an "event." Today is three big things. 1) Battle of the Bands Outcome, 2) My Solo during the Easter Cantata, and 3) My blogger pal Alex's book reveal/scavenger hunt.

Wow. Should be something here for everyone.

Let's do a quick recap on Battle of the Bands. The song was Shameless. The contenders were Billy Joel and Garth Brooks. The votes by you tallied up to look like this:

Billy Joel: 13

Garth Brooks: 11

As you can see, this was a tight race up until the end. My vote is for Garth Brooks, but that only changes the vote to 13-12 and Billy Joel still wins it. Come back on the 15th for another exciting round of Battle of the Bands.

Second up, the singing. I actually have another ladies trio song to upload to YouTube and post here, but it takes so long, my Internet service has been iffy, and my brain is only functional 50% of the time (or less). Throwing all of these together, it should shock you that I've gotten the solo from our Easter cantata uploaded. I can't say it's the best singing you'll ever hear or even the best I've ever done (oh allergies, how I hate you!), but for a non-professional at church... well, you get the idea. I think they liked it fine. So, if you feel so inclined, take a listen. Try not to judge me too harshly. It's all about a joyful noise and all that...

  

Lastly, my blog friend Alex J. Cavanaugh is launching a new book, Dragon of the Stars, today. To kick this event off he's sent me a picture of mini-Alex, which is part of the scavenger hunt. If you visit the other blogs you can hone in on where mini-Alex is and try to win an awesome gift. So make sure to leave a comment and visit the other blog locations (you can find them on Alex's blog) for a chance to win. Congrats Alex on releasing another book!!!

SCAVENGER HUNT! Comment to win an autographed copy of Dragon of the Stars, tons of bookmarks & postcards, and a $20.00 iTunes gift card–where is Mini-Alex? Visit Alex for a list of the participants. (Open through April 11 – winner announced April 13 at Alex’s blog.)

Available today!

Dragon of the Stars

By Alex J. Cavanaugh

Science Fiction – Space Opera/Adventure/Military

Print ISBN 9781939844064 EBook ISBN 9781939844057

What Are the Kargrandes? http://whatarethekargrandes.com/

The ship of legends…

The future is set for Lt. Commander Aden Pendar, son of a Hyrathian Duke. Poised to secure his own command and marriage to the queen’s daughter, he’ll stop at nothing to achieve his goals.

But when the Alliance denies Hyrath’s claim on the planet of Kavil and declares war on their world, Aden finds his plans in disarray. Entrenched in battle and told he won’t make captain, Aden’s world begins to collapse. How will he salvage his career and future during Hyrath’s darkest hour?

One chance remains–the Dragon. Lost many years prior, the legendary ship’s unique weapon is Hyrath’s only hope. Can Aden find the Dragon, save his people, and prove he’s capable of commanding his own ship?

Purchase:

Amazon - http://www.amazon.com/Dragon-Stars-Alex-J-Cavanaugh-ebook/dp/B00S0DPUYU/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1420814971&sr=1-1&keywords=dragon+of+the+stars

Barnes and Noble - http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/dragon-of-the-stars-alex-j-cavanaugh/1121069418?ean=2940046510720

Kobo - http://store.kobobooks.com/en-US/ebook/dragon-of-the-stars

Chapters - http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/en-ca/books/dragon-of-the-stars/9781939844057-item.html

Amazon UK - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dragon-Stars-Alex-J-Cavanaugh-ebook/dp/B00S0DPUYU

Goodreads - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23521766-dragon-of-the-stars

Alex J. Cavanaugh has a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree and works in web design, graphics, and technical editing. A fan of all things science fiction, his interests range from books and movies to music and games. Online he is the Ninja Captain and founder of the Insecure Writer’s Support Group. He’s the author of Amazon Best-Sellers CassaStar, CassaFire, and CassaStorm.

http://alexjcavanaugh.blogspot.com/

http://www.insecurewriterssupportgroup.com/

http://twitter.com/AlexJCavanaugh    

Alex J. Cavanaugh
http://alexjcavanaugh.blogspot.com/
http://insecurewriterssupportgroup.com/
http://whatarethekargrandes.com/

iTunes –https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/dragon-of-the-stars/id957912496?mt=11

Amazon print – http://www.amazon.com/Dragon-Stars-Alex-j-Cavanaugh/dp/1939844061/ref=tmm_pap_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1427824785&sr=1-1

Overdrive - https://www.overdrive.com/media/2130736/dragon-of-the-stars

IWSG Meets Battle of the Bands ~ It's Shameless Really

 This is mostly the IWSG colliding with Battle of the Bands.

However, I want to take JUST ONE MOMENT and wish all of you A to Zers well. Today is Day One. Go get 'em!

Second, for all of you interested in my dating story. I broke up with him yesterday. Not because of his addiction, which would have been enough, but his age. We went bowling and I felt like his mother. He said such immature things that I couldn't help but "correct" him or "guide" him. Honestly, it felt way too much like hanging out with my ex's kids. Except they're teenagers. But you get the idea. So, I told him it made me uncomfortable and I was Out. He countered with, "But it doesn't make ME uncomfortable." It got so much easier after that.

Third, the IWSG. I'm back to writing again on my revision. For me, this entire process has felt very much like life. Every now and again we get STUCK. (In life and writing) The question is whether we stay stuck and for how long. Sometimes it's good to just lie down where you are and take a nap, daydream, or study the clouds. Whatever. Good for life. Good for writing. But, if you stay down too long... it can be tough getting back up. And some don't. (Again with life and writing.) So, get up and go. It might be the wrong direction and you'll come back to this same point weary and frustrated (been there, done that... in life and writing). In fact, you might do this a lot. BUT, eventually you'll find a path that works (yep, for life and writing) and then woohoo! So, that's where I am. I'm merrily traveling the path again (after what felt like long naps and aimless wanderings). We're all insecure but DON'T GIVE UP. At least, with writing, you can come back and edit (unlike life) so go boldly!

Fourth, and finally, Battle of the Bands. I thought of this song while reading commentary on Dixie's last battle. You see, Dixie, you CAN choose songs. You and FAE chose/inspired mine this week. The song is Shameless. It was recorded first by Billy Joel on Storm Front, but he never released it. Then Garth Brooks recorded it on his Ropin' The Wind album and it became a Big Hit for him. I know this because I actually had the Ropin' the Wind CD. It might've been my FIRST CD. I got it during that time I worked at St. Martin's Press. Fun publishing fact: When you work in publishing, you can get any book you want free. All you do is call the publicity office and offer to trade books. Well, a friend of mine worked that strategy beyond the realm of books. He traded with all sorts of companies and got all sorts of stuff. One day a package came in with the aforementioned CD and a promo CASSETTE TAPE for John Mellencamp's next album. I got both. I have no idea what else was in the box. Anyway, I fell in love with Ropin' the Wind (and Garth Brooks). However, I'd been a long-time Billy Joel fan, but didn't have that particular record, and was happily surprised to discover Shamless was written (and recorded) by him.

So, even though I discovered them in reverse order, let's listen as they were available to the public.

Billy Joel with Shameless:



Now let's listen to Garth Brooks with Shameless:



For more Battle of the Bands fun, check out the other BOTB bloggers to vote on their battles:

• Far Away Series
• Stephen T. McCarthy's Battle of the Bands Blog
• Tossing it Out
• DiscConnected 
• This Belle Rocks
• Mike's Ramblings
• Curious as a Cathy 
• Book Lover
• The Sound of One Hand Typing
• dcrelief ~ Battle of the Bands
• Alex J. Cavanaugh (sometimes)

If you are participating in Battle of the Bands, and you are not listed here, leave me a note in the comments. Thanks!

Now, is the critical moment. It is time to vote for your favorite version of this song. I even encourage you to leave me long comment explaining all the ins and outs of why you voted as you did!