Some of the biggest changes between 2010 and now...
- I can't believe how far I have come in terms of my health.
- I write this blog AND I am working on a novel.
- My father passed away.
- I moved - again.
- I really didn't want my friends and ESPECIALLY not my ex-husband to read this blog. Okay, that hasn't changed so much... but now I know that the chances of it happening are slim to none. Back in 2010 I guarded this blog like it was gold.
- In fact, I didn't put a REAL picture of me on here for the LONGEST time because I wanted to be anonymous.
- Now, I am Facebook friends with many of you. Though I still don't want you to mention my blog here... there.
- I've started taking dance lessons.
- And I hate my hair... now. I look at pics of myself in 2010 and my hair was pretty darn awesome. Everything else was terrible, but my hair was great. Ha!
More important, how much do I want/not want to be seen? I didn't post a picture of myself in my sidebar four years ago because I really didn't want my ex-husband to find this blog. I felt like he stifled my voice... even though I rarely wrote about him. In the cases when he did get a mention it was almost always in correlation to a discovery that I made about myself because of him and that relationship. But... not always. Sometimes, I just needed a free place to vent. After four years of not being able to get my friends and family to read this blog (even with much pleading), I realize that my ex is NOT going to just stumble into this blog. Not Gonna Happen.
That said... I am still not sure I want to put a picture of Me in my sidebar. Maybe someday.
For today, I will clear up some misconceptions. Back on my birthday (end of March) I thought I was being clever using the strike through feature when I "discussed" my age. I thought I was clear on the fact that I am NOT 29 years old. For the record, turning 30 triggered a crisis of sorts. I spent way too much time when I was 29 telling anyone who would listen that I was "still in my 20s." I just wanted to say it as often as possible while it was still true. My aunt declared she was 29 until the day she died. She encouraged me to do the same. Honestly, that sort of thing is funny when you're in your 60s and older... but not so much before that. So, LC, this picture is for you. This is me when I was actually 29:
A professional photographer friend of mine took this picture. I really like it. Ah... the good old days. I even had nice hair here. This was when I could still color my hair. Now, I can't do that because I am allergic to the hair color junk.
And this is a picture from 2010 when I really liked my hair:
I let my hair grow several more inches and then cut it off and donated it to Locks of Love. One of my friends from high school had a son with a brain tumor. He went through several rounds of chemo and radiation and they thought it was beaten and then it came back with a vengeance and he died within a month of being re-diagnosed. I don't regret donating the hair, even though it didn't go to him, but it still makes me very sad that my friend's son died. I am also at my sickest in this picture. I weighed in the neighborhood of 100 pounds here. If it were a healthy 100 it would be different, but it was NOT.
Now, I hate my hair. About six months ago, I went to a totally new hair salon and I let someone cut it when my intuition was screaming, "Don't do it. You will regret it." And I didn't listen. And I regret it. It is just horrible. I hope that in another 3-6 months I can have someone I know will do a great job cut it and THEN I will post a current picture. It also gives me a few months to get fit with the dancing I mentioned above.
I know that this seems like a fluff piece. And maybe it is. I have revealed so much of myself on here (some of you people know me better than Anyone) that maybe it is just silly to not put up a picture in my sidebar. Some of you have pics of yourself on your profile and some of you don't. Do you struggle with the aspects of you that you want to show here?