I just got test results back that should be soul crushing. The doctor gave them to me not knowing that I would get on the web and research and research and research. And the more I researched the worse the news would be. The irony is that I am not feeling remotely crushed. I could be if not for a series of circumstances that altered his test making him think one thing and me knowing another. More on that later. Probably a lot more. Turns out I am more like my dad than I would have ever believed. Schmidt's Syndrome. The source of at least some of my problem. It is autoimmune. Of course. Turns the antibodies in your system against you and attacks things like your thyroid and adrenal gland. (Accept for one hitch here which I will explain later, hence my lack of soul crushing as noted above.)
It can also go after the rest of your endocrine system. And you should be checked out regularly, because you can be okay one day and not so much the next. The antibodies can just decide that your pancreas is the enemy one day. Or your liver. Or your kidneys. Or, get this... your vascular system. You know that lovely system that shrinks tight and causes... migraines. You can develop antibodies that attack your vascular system. Who knew?
It sucks being sick. It really sucks being sick and not knowing why.
In other news, I have found a purpose. At least for today. I will share it with you later. It is a small one. But no one changed the world in one giant swoop. It was always with tiny footsteps. Little bits of courage change one life at a time.
oh robin...at least you know it's not all in your head or whatever. Naming it means you have the means to fight it. Hugs! I am rooting for you and can't wait to hear what your one thing is.
ReplyDeleteI've talked with people who've received bad diagnoses, either for themselves or for loved ones; and while some take awhile to come around to this thinking, truly it is better to have been given what many would think of as bad news. Because then you can take action. You know your enemy. And you can devise a plan of attack, rather than trying this or that and hoping it will help although you're not too sure since you don't really know what you're fighting against ....
ReplyDeletei'm sorry robin. Sending tons of hugs and love your way.
ReplyDeleteI can understand how you are glad to at least 'know' what the heck is going on in some way. It's a starting point and you wont have to keep going round and round in a pointless circle any more. Still, it must be a large bit to swallow in some ways.
ReplyDeleteI know you can handle this with grace and determination and I will be excited to see what comes next.
It must be some relief to know something for sure now. Wishing you a path to follow now that leads you to improved health.
ReplyDeleteBeat it. Nothing is impossible to the willing mind. If anyone can get over it, you can. My best, Miss Robin.
ReplyDeleteEvery day should give you purpose on good days and bad, even if only to write down all of your thoughts and feelings. Hoping you feel better soon.
ReplyDeleteWell, at least you have a name to tag your problem with. Hopefully it is something they can work on treating and get you back up to normal! Can't wait to hear about your purpose! Sending big hugs your way sweetie, xoxo
ReplyDeleteOk, now you have a name---what's your next step? Have you ever considered trying the Gerson Therapy? You know, just to see if it would help?
ReplyDeleteI guess you've been feeling like you're on an episode of "Mystery Diagnosis!" You can live with this, you know!!
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