DAY 24: JUST MAKING IT UP AS I GO ALONG

As promised, I took a look yesterday at today's letter topic. I was less than thrilled when I saw that it was the person who gave you your favorite memory. I seriously began to question if the person who made up this list was 16 years old. Seriously? The person who gave you your favorite memory? I would have had a difficult time with this one at 16. I can't even see 16 in my rear view. In fact, should I be spontaneously catapulted back to the age of 16, it would be disaster. Thinking beyond everything I have forgotten about higher math, I would have no clue about my locker combination, and I don't need any more challenges.

Therefore, I was still stymied about this post when I was in The Think Tank (aka the shower) where I do my best thinking. I began the mental review of my life, and was affirming everything I already thought about this post idea (it's really dumb), because most of my closest friends have been talked about, or had letters written to them. All of my major relationships have been covered. They had their good and bad points. Okay, some of them just had bad points disguised as good points, but it took a while to figure that out. And then it hit me like a bolt of lightning. Ally McBeal meets The Seinfeld Years. That is what I call that bleak period from 1995-2001. It would have and should have been longer if I had said "no" when my ex-husband asked me out. But, alas, it isn't and wasn't.

How does this end up being my favorite memory? It doesn't , really. It just gives me something new to write about. And I loved Ally McBeal. That is a favorite memory. I also really liked Seinfeld. So, it counts, too. Let's trek back to my thinking process in the shower when it hit me that this is where this letter should go....

Well, then there was that time after I broke up with My First Love that I became infatuated with country line dancing. It was a phase. I go through phases. I loved it. I went practically every night. I became really good at it. I never drank alcohol, because the key to the dancing is remembering the steps. What made me good at it is that I have an excellent memory. Well, I had an excellent memory pre-migraine. Anyway, I made lots of line dance friends and we would all sit together. There was this guy who kept coming over and talking to me. Kept asking for my number and I wouldn't give it to him. One night he tells me that he has figured out why I won't give him my number; it is because I am running from the IRS, because I am dodging paying child support. I couldn't quit laughing. I told him he was wrong. He asked for my number again. I wouldn't give it. He was convinced I was a mom who'd ditched her kid(s) and was on the lamb from the IRS. That is why I call them The Seinfeld Years.


When Ally McBeal came on, I was hooked. It was like looking at my life on the TV. I know that it wasn't the same. I was now in commission sales. She was a lawyer. Her First Love broke up with her. I broke up with mine. She had to work next to hers. Mine was in another state. The thing in common was that we both had this "plan" for our lives and it wasn't happening. Instead we were living The Seinfeld Years. We ended up on screwy dates with bizarre people when we finally would go out with someone. She said and thought the things I thought. I didn't have hallucinations, but I felt all of the feelings.

And then the *magic* happened. Larry Paul arrived and we both could breathe again. (That is Robert Downey, Jr. for the non-Ally watchers.) I know that it is crazy, but I thought that if someone with as many issues as Ally (and me) can find someone who gets her and it works out, then all is not lost. There is hope here. Maybe The Seinfeld Years are coming to an end. Maybe the years of going out with someone and having them say things like this, "The guy behind us stopped in time. But I waited until the last possible minute to hit my breaks so that he might hit us. Had that happened, you should say that your neck hurts even if it doesn't. If you don't say your neck hurts at the scene, you can't sue him later." WTF??? Obviously, first and last date... the dating pool is terrible, peeps.

So, yeah, Larry Paul gave me hope. It was like pouring oxygen into a room that had been really flooded with too much carbon monoxide for way too long. And then he got arrested for drugs. Robert Downey, Jr. Not Larry Paul. However, that prevented Larry Paul from staying on the show. The courts were nice enough to allow the show to give him a chance to make a storyline exit. Not a good storyline exit. It was a heartbreaking, painful, and wrenching storyline exit. Ally never recovered from that devastation. Me either. They brought on Bon Jovi to try and revive her and she was like meh. I didn't get Bon Jovi. Ironically, though, that was my ex-husband's first attempt to get me to go out with him. He asked me to a Bon Jovi concert. I already had plans. I had forgotten that until just now. He asked me to see Bon Jovi and I was meh.

So, I suppose in a twisted sort of way Ally & Larry gave me some of my favorite memories, because what they gave me was hope. I was living The Seinfeld Years. Every date I went on was one epic disaster after another. Every guy I met was bizarro strange. I began to feel like a magnet that attracted the crazies and oddballs. I watched Ally do the same thing for years until she finally got a Great Guy. That was huge. I was beginning to think that they were all married, gay, or my parents' age.

If there is any wisdom to be had from this post, it is this: don't give up and settle. Hold out for that person who makes you happy, smile, shares common interests, someone you love and respect, someone who shares the same values. These things are important. That is how you will get the best memories for yourself. I am counting on the fact that MY best memories are still to come!

Here is some Ally and Larry Paul action:





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