The Fight For My Life

It has been forever since I've written a post about what is going on here in the Land of Robin. Seriously. I think it's been a long, long time.

I'd say the last three years have been roller coaster-like. What I mean by that is this: When I started seeing my new doctor in 2013 she changed my treatment plan. She took me off some of the meds I was on (good!), strongly encouraged eating whole foods only (tough, but she's correct), get off all processed foods (again, not easy, but we all should do it). I felt so much better after making these changes that I decided to try and actually DO some things. Not go crazy and do big things. Little things. Like go to church on Sunday mornings. Sing in the choir. Yes, that is a commitment. But in the grand scheme of life, I'd say it's a reasonable first step. Well, that step turned out to be just enough stress to upset my apple cart. In point of fact, the only way her health management plan worked was if I didn't interact with other humans at all. That was just too much stress. Group activities or anything that required a commitment of a certain day/time... migraine city.

So, it was frustrating. And I was back on over the counter pain medication if I wanted to have even a pseudo life. Meaning a half life. Not even a full life. Not a real life. Because the more stuff I brought into my life, the bigger the migraine got. The less the OTC pain medication worked. I was back in the place of it mostly just taking the edge off a constant migraine. But, let's face it. I'd lived this way since 2003. This wasn't new territory. If I ate better, slept better, tried for at least some exercise I could live a nominal life. Meaning I could go to church. Maybe join a Bible Study or book club. I still had no chance of a relationship with a man (way too much stress there) or a job (are you kidding me?) or a life. Because I still had really bad days that I spent in bed all day no matter what I did with a terrible migraine. And sometimes several of those in a row.

Despite that, I went to camp the last two summers for a few weeks and OTC pain medicated my way through it. That might not have been the best strategy ever, but a person gets tired of lying in bed just waiting to die. And, let's face it, I've pretty much been lying in bed waiting to die since 2003. That is not any way to live. Point of fact: that isn't living. That is existing. I've been existing since 2003 with bursts of living that have managed to seep into my life and right out again. All thanks to a pain medicated existence. Again, this is not the life that the Creator intended for any of us. I believe that with all my heart. And, yet, there I was.

My sister-in-law introduced me to essential oils about a year ago now. I will say that made some difference in my migraine severity and frequency. My recent summer at camp required less OTC pain meds thanks to essential oils than the previous summer. However, after camp I was actually worse than I was at camp. My therapist has definitive ideas on this that have merit, but I'm not going to go into that right now except to say that stress comes in many forms. (And well-meaning people who love you can stress you out to the max.)

The last four months have been tough. My essential oils haven't held up. Any exercise routine I had went into the toilet. And yet, some really awesome things were happening. I joined a Bible Study through a church I don't attend and made some wonderful women friends (which I really needed). We meet weekly, and this has been a source of encouragement for all of us. A few weeks ago I heard about something called Nascent Iodine. I know you know what iodine is. Point of fact, I was certain I was allergic to iodine. In my 20s, a nurse swabbed my arm with it before drawing blood, and I broke out in the itchiest rash. Oh my goodness. And then ten years or so later I developed an allergy to shellfish after an overindulgence in shellfish (I thought because of the iodine... and probably because of the form of iodine...hmm... don't know). So, when I read the following, I thought I can't take this because I'll be allergic. The bolding is mine within the sections.

The Top 5 Reasons You Need Nascent Iodine

1. Iodine is an essential mineral that supports thyroid health and well-being.*
2. Nascent iodine may support healthy iodine levels. 
3. Nascent iodine may support healthy hormone levels.**
4. Nascent iodine may be involved in maintaining healthy metabolism.
5. Supplementing with pure nascent iodine may provide sufficient iodine so that the body does not need to absorb iodine from other, perhaps less pure, sources.

Survival Shield X-2 Quality

Survival Shield X-2 is manufactured in a state-licensed facility that meets federal regulatory standards, is cGMP/HACCP-compliant, and lab grade. Raw elemental iodine is a controlled substance both at a State and Federal level. The licensing, approvals and regulatory documentary procedures are exacting and costly.

Bound forms of iodine must first be separated, clarified and purified from other binding components or impurities into a USP-grade (United States Pharmaceutical), mono-elemental iodine as certified USP resublimated iodine crystals. In this purified crystal form, iodine is a highly reactive and toxic substance. However, when the purified USP iodine crystals are subjected to a proprietary process it becomes nano-colloidalized and transforms into a form of elemental nascent iodine, also referred to as monoatomic iodine, without the addition of iodides!***

Shocking Statistics About Iodine

• According to the World Health Organization's Department of Nutrition for Health and Development, iodine deficiency is a public health problem in 54 countries.
• The CDC states that iodine deficiency is one of the four major deficiency diseases in the world (Fortunately, it is the easiest to correct).
• The 2013 USGS iodine commodity summary warns that there are no comparable substitutes for iodine. 
• Information published by UNICEF notes that iodine deficiency is the most avoidable cause of stunted physical and intellectual development.

*My thyroid went hypo a while ago. And then it went autoimmune. This is very bad news. Once it goes autoimmune your body eventually DESTROYS your thyroid and there is nothing that can stop it. Well, you can take the thyroid medication, which I do, but when it's gone, it's gone. I'm sure it all just gets more fun from there.

**Hormones. Holy rocket science Batman. When I first started getting migraines (2003), I told my neurologist that I was certain this was a hormonal imbalance given how my migraines (before they became chronic) were hormonal. Granted, they were now a freight train bound for hell, but if we could stabilize the hormones, I think we could get the train back on the track. He looked down his nose at me and said, "I hear that from many of my women patients, but I assure you that you are wrong." And that was the end of it. Because, you know, he had a direct line to God. He proceeded to pump untold amounts of medication into me that caused me to lose my hair like a cancer patient. God love him. He was a miracle worker. And I still had migraines.

***Without the addition of iodides. Hmm. Could it have been the addition of iodides that I was actually allergic to and not the iodine itself? 

If we need iodine to live. If we need iodine to regulate our hormones. If we need iodine to keep our thyroid working correctly (and clearly mine is NOT), then maybe, just maybe I have an iodine issue. And maybe, just maybe by giving my thyroid the iodine it very much needs it will start to correct some of these problems that have gone... shall we say, badly.

I ordered it. It comes in liquid form. I placed a drop on my arm and waited. 24 hours later and nothing. No rash. The recommended dose is 3 drops per day. I took one the first day. That was the first day I didn't take any OTC pain medication in four months. The second day I took two. The third day I took three. I've had some serious stress going on during this time (my roof needs replacing and that is super stressful and my health care has required some decision-making, which is also stressful). I was taking OTC pain meds at least twice a day (sometimes three). In the two weeks I've been on the iodine, I've taken them two times. Two. On two different days. I'm still using my essential oils. Still trying to eat well, sleep well, my exercise has sucked (got to be honest), but for the first time since 2003 I'm showing actual improvement. 

It's funny what happens when your life changes radically in a short period of time. When you go from a place of holding space to a place of possibility. Those are very different places for the record. For the first time in a very long time I can see that there is actually a future in my future. 

I apologize that this post was so long. As Blaise Pascal (and Mark Twain, later) said "I didn't have the time to make it shorter."