I posted over on my TV blog this clip:
I said that my house sounds very like the exchange between Frasier and his father. Sub in me and my mother and you're now cooking with oil.
I really can't finish this year without a complete meltdown on this blog. I mean seriously... I melted down daily for the first year I blogged, and you guys were THE BEST. Now, I mostly do HERE'S TO YOU, Battle of the Bands, and gripe occasionally about the state of the language and the world. But, I mostly don't whine about my life. Mostly.
Well, keep on reading, because that is about to change! (Bryan over at A Beer For the Shower says I really should use those exclamation points when I'm getting loud, or my characters are getting loud. Whatevs.) Note the exclamation point.
I know I wrote a long-winded post a while ago about my mother getting scammed online in one of those Romance Scams. Since that initial incident, she's been in communication with several more scammers (who didn't net anything but my ire). I actually told one of them off on the phone, using more expletives in a few sentences than I've used all year. Man, that felt great. Mom was less than happy, but oh well. I can't please everyone.
She is currently embroiled in another "relationship" that's stemmed from an online dating site. I need only say that she and her "beau" haven't met, he's foreign, and he's working (right now... hahahaha) in another country. As Christmas has drawn near, I hear more and more about this Wonderful Guy. I hear about how hard he works. How he really wants to be home for Christmas. There are gifts for him from Mom under my tree with cute endearments in the "Name" place. My mom even asked if I wanted to wait to exchange gifts until He got here.
And that was when the inside of my head exploded. Outwardly, I think I kept pretty calm with a polite "No." Since I think his arrival will coincide with hell freezing over... that is a long damn wait.
Yesterday she asked what I'd like for dinner on Christmas. I told her cheese spaghetti, which has been my favorite meal ever since I could eat solid food. So, this wasn't a shocker. For those of you unfamiliar with this delicious dinner, my grandma made it up. 1 pound thin spaghetti (or the noodle of your preference), 1 pound colby cheese, 1 can crushed or whole peeled tomatoes crushed by you, and 1 can tomato soup. Mom prefers it without the soup. I prefer it with the soup. I digress.
So, today she asks me what she should fix for Christmas dinner. Ham or Cornish Game Hens?
I said, "Cheese spaghetti."
She says, "I don't think He will want cheese spaghetti."
OMG. This again. I say, "Whatever He wants then. Why'd you ask me?"
Later... I say, after listening to the usual tirade about Him and how hard He works, "So, does this mean He is or isn't coming for Christmas? Since He's in Australia if He's going to make it (the flight is 24 hours long) I'd think He'd know by now."
She says, "Don't know."
Later... She says as I'm wrapping her gifts, (I elected not to buy anything for Him.) "If He and I get married, I'm going to want my bed back." I am currently sleeping in her king size bed because it fits in the master bedroom, which doesn't have a tub. She is sleeping close to the other bathroom, which does have a tub. Even though it is MY house, I would let her have the master bedroom if the other bath had the tub. So, we swapped beds. And she ditched my mattress for a foam thing so it'd be close to the floor. And I felt my blood pressure rising. Again.
And then I just stopped. The chances of Him ever darkening our door? I figure somewhere between slim and none. I took that thought further... as crazy as she's making me (much crazier than normal, and that was plenty bad enough), would I be willing to trade beds so that she'd move out with some man, any man, and give me some peace of mind? Yep. Sounds like a fair trade to me. Bed for peace of mind.
Of course, what I'd PREFER is that she step back from this dating thing and choose wisely. I can attest that living with another person... not easy. I want her to be happy. I don't see her being happy with anyone that she has met online (since I think they've all been scammers...). The fact that I can't figure out what this one is up to only attests to the fact that I don't think like a scammer.
Perhaps my dilemma is similar to that of the Good Lord who wants the best things for each and every one of us. The problem is that we persist with unhealthy choices. So, how does God just let go and let us muck about? It's not lack of caring or love... but it's something I don't think I have. So, I ask you friends... what is it????? How do I sit back and allow this just to roll off me?
The blog is now open for all of you "therapists" to weigh in...