I Can't Believe We've Circled Back to This: Boundary Issues, Part I of whatever

I considered not even posting this because... let's face it: tomorrow is Battle of the Bands, and this post will be covered up (and mostly not read) pretty quickly. However, interesting discoveries happening here. So, maybe I'll this a Part One of Two? Three? Four? and link back to this one with the rest a la Stephen T. McCarthy style.

First, I appreciate the THOUGHTFUL comments from so many of you on my last post. Several of you expressed concern that something you might say could or would hurt my feelings. Alas, not so. I wanted to hear something other than my own thoughts, and you gave them! Thank you!

Here is the rundown on Christmas, bullet point style:

• First, the shocker (not): He didn't show up.
• I took FAE's suggestion in the comments and steered the conversation to other topics. Good idea! Though, it was a lot of work. I've discovered that I'm a person who's comfortable with silence. Constant talking just wears me out. So, after two days of this (Christmas Eve and Christmas)... exhausted.
• We ate cheese spaghetti (I know this was on ALL of your minds), and it was delicious.
• We watched the movie Must Love Dogs. For those of you not in the know about this film... It's a divorced woman (Diane Lane) and a divorced man (John Cusack) who are both thrown into the online dating world by well-meaning family (her) and friend (him). She has many disastrous dates (with people who live in the country and show up) and a pseudo-disastrous first date with the Cusack character. Why? Dating is hard. Online dating is really hard. 
• What I hoped mom would take away from this movie was that even people who date online have an expectation of a face-to-face meeting fairly quickly (and it will suck 9 times out of 10). Ergo, being "in love" with and expecting to marry someone you've never actually met... RIDICULOUS.
• Did she take that away? I don't think so. Oh well.

Here is the trailer for Must Love Dogs. It's a cute movie.





In the second part of this installment, we shall move on to what I learned from a dream that became even more clear in therapy and how much work I still have to do.  (That could also be the third and fourth parts, because there was A PLETHORA of emotional gold--aka issues--to mine here.) I can't wait to bare my soul for you people so you understand how truly f#cked up I am, but it's really my parents' fault... hahahaha... you know, because they raised me this way;)

If you're thinking we didn't discuss boundary issues, trust me... they are THERE. You just aren't ready for them yet. (Imagine this in my best Jack Nicholson voice.) You can't handle the truth.

Well, you can. And you will. Just not today. See you in January. Happy New Year friends!!!!

And then this happened... Merry Freakin' Christmas!

I posted over on my TV blog this clip:


I said that my house sounds very like the exchange between Frasier and his father. Sub in me and my mother and you're now cooking with oil.

I really can't finish this year without a complete meltdown on this blog. I mean seriously... I melted down daily for the first year I blogged, and you guys were THE BEST. Now, I mostly do HERE'S TO YOU, Battle of the Bands, and gripe occasionally about the state of the language and the world. But, I mostly don't whine about my life. Mostly.

Well, keep on reading, because that is about to change! (Bryan over at A Beer For the Shower says I really should use those exclamation points when I'm getting loud, or my characters are getting loud. Whatevs.) Note the exclamation point.

I know I wrote a long-winded post a while ago about my mother getting scammed online in one of those Romance Scams. Since that initial incident, she's been in communication with several more scammers (who didn't net anything but my ire). I actually told one of them off on the phone, using more expletives in a few sentences than I've used all year. Man, that felt great. Mom was less than happy, but oh well. I can't please everyone.

She is currently embroiled in another "relationship" that's stemmed from an online dating site. I need only say that she and her "beau" haven't met, he's foreign, and he's working (right now... hahahaha) in another country. As Christmas has drawn near, I hear more and more about this Wonderful Guy. I hear about how hard he works. How he really wants to be home for Christmas. There are gifts for him from Mom under my tree with cute endearments in the "Name" place. My mom even asked if I wanted to wait to exchange gifts until He got here.

And that was when the inside of my head exploded. Outwardly, I think I kept pretty calm with a polite "No." Since I think his arrival will coincide with hell freezing over... that is a long damn wait.

Yesterday she asked what I'd like for dinner on Christmas. I told her cheese spaghetti, which has been my favorite meal ever since I could eat solid food. So, this wasn't a shocker. For those of you unfamiliar with this delicious dinner, my grandma made it up. 1 pound thin spaghetti (or the noodle of your preference), 1 pound colby cheese, 1 can crushed or whole peeled tomatoes crushed by you, and 1 can tomato soup. Mom prefers it without the soup. I prefer it with the soup. I digress.

So, today she asks me what she should fix for Christmas dinner. Ham or Cornish Game Hens?

I said, "Cheese spaghetti."

She says, "I don't think He will want cheese spaghetti."

OMG. This again. I say, "Whatever He wants then. Why'd you ask me?"

Later... I say, after listening to the usual tirade about Him and how hard He works, "So, does this mean He is or isn't coming for Christmas? Since He's in Australia if He's going to make it (the flight is 24 hours long) I'd think He'd know by now."

She says, "Don't know."

Later... She says as I'm wrapping her gifts, (I elected not to buy anything for Him.) "If He and I get married, I'm going to want my bed back." I am currently sleeping in her king size bed because it fits in the master bedroom, which doesn't have a tub. She is sleeping close to the other bathroom, which does have a tub. Even though it is MY house, I would let her have the master bedroom if the other bath had the tub. So, we swapped beds. And she ditched my mattress for a foam thing so it'd be close to the floor. And I felt my blood pressure rising. Again.

And then I just stopped. The chances of Him ever darkening our door? I figure somewhere between slim and none. I took that thought further... as crazy as she's making me (much crazier than normal, and that was plenty bad enough), would I be willing to trade beds so that she'd move out with some man, any man, and give me some peace of mind? Yep. Sounds like a fair trade to me. Bed for peace of mind.

Of course, what I'd PREFER is that she step back from this dating thing and choose wisely. I can attest that living with another person... not easy. I want her to be happy. I don't see her being happy with anyone that she has met online (since I think they've all been scammers...). The fact that I can't figure out what this one is up to only attests to the fact that I don't think like a scammer.

Perhaps my dilemma is similar to that of the Good Lord who wants the best things for each and every one of us. The problem is that we persist with unhealthy choices. So, how does God just let go and let us muck about? It's not lack of caring or love... but it's something I don't think I have. So, I ask you friends... what is it????? How do I sit back and allow this just to roll off me?

The blog is now open for all of you "therapists" to weigh in...

Battle of the Bands Results and Christmas Fun!

Before I move on, gotta post the results for Battle of the Bands. If you voted later, then you know that this wasn't even close. Piano Guys got 15 votes, Celtic Woman got 4 votes, and Dire Straits got one vote.

Are you scratching your head right now? Yeah, me too. I think someone was messing with me. Not sure what the message was... too much Dire Straits in these battles? Not enough Dire Straits? Too much eggnog? Not to worry. It's all good.

I loved The Piano Guys take on We Three Kings, like the majority of you. I also liked, though not as much, the version by Celtic Woman. So, I would've been okay with the vote no matter how it went down.

I'm singing a duet at the church's Christmas Eve service, so I will try to download that to YouTube and upload it here. Look for it between Christmas and the 1st. On the 1st, the year will begin another installment of Battle of the Bands!!!

I will probably still be posting (fairly) regularly over at TV Junction Function with holiday clips as I find them. I started out that search before I posted this bit. So, I leave you with some Christmas funny that I found... Enjoy and Merry Christmas!

Eight Terrible Titles and Battle of the Bands ~ We Three Kings

Before we get down to Battle of the Bands (which is still Christmas)... I want to do something fun with my WiP, titled right now as Out of Touch. It will be brief, so take a time-out with me. Here's the dealio...

I got tagged by Marcy Hatch at mainewords in a game called Eight Terrible Titles. Here's how it works. Scroll through your manuscript at random, letting your cursor wander over the pages. Stop. Select the phrase it lands on and–BAM! You’ve got yourself one terrifically terrible title! Repeat this 7 more times. Let the good times roll. Tag eight others (or whoever you want!).

I am going to include the whole sentence, but bold and use caps on the phrase where the cursor landed (see The New Title for my book). Let's see how good or bad this turns out!

1. "Not one of my Finer Moments," I agreed, though it was extremely satisfying at the time.
2. I searched the floor for The Pencil, but it was not there.
3. "What else? One Misplaced Cufflink, and my life unravels."
4. He pulled out of the lot, and I contented myself with the fact I was Riding in a Car I'd only dreamt about until this moment.
5. I landed Flat on My Face.
6. "Well, yes. I yelled at him and ran down the street, but he was Too Fast For Me." Grandma sighed discontentedly.
7. "A Shot To The Head. Was anything stolen?" I asked.
8. Without thinking, I Touched the Victorian-era divan, and the vision enveloped me completely.

Well, that didn't turn out quite as terrible as I thought it might. Touched isn't half bad. Maybe the name for the sequel???

If you're a writer, and this looks like fun, I invite you to give it a try. Only takes a few minutes, and it's interesting. So, I'm not going to pick on any of you. Just blow a kiss your way and an offer to run with it.

Now, let's get on with Battle of the Bands, part two of this Christmas edition.

Up until a few days ago, I was still undecided on what song/artists to use for this battle. I love Christmas songs. Just about all Christmas songs. The number of artists for any given song... well, the list can be endless. I spent nearly an hour (maybe more) shuffling from song to song on YouTube (or the Great Time Suck, depending on your experience) before landing on We Three Kings. I have no idea if anyone else is using this song today, has used it in the past, blah blah blah. But the chances of posting the same two versions of this song... I'd be shocked. So, let's get down to it. You get to vote on your favorite after listening to them both... so please give them both a listen and vote in the comments!

We Three Kings by The Piano Guys:
 

If that wasn't up your alley, maybe this will be...

We Three Kings by Celtic Woman:
 

For more Battle of the Bands fun, check out the other BOTB bloggers to vote on their battles:

• Far Away Series
• Stephen T. McCarthy's Battle of the Bands Blog
• Tossing it Out
• DiscConnected 
• The Creative Outlet of Strat Player
• Mike's Ramblings
• Curious as a Cathy 
• Book Lover
• The Sound of One Hand Typing
• Alex J. Cavanaugh (sometimes)

If you are participating in Battle of the Bands, and you are not listed here, leave me a note in the comments. Thanks!

Now, is the critical moment. It is time to vote for your favorite version of this song. I even encourage you to leave me long comment explaining all the ins and outs of why you voted as you did!