Monday, July 8, 2013

Take Me Out Of The Ballgame.

image found on Facebook
Baseball is on the brain today.  It wasn't on my brain until I started the blogging circuit.  I stopped in over at Wanna Buy A Duck written by Manzanita and she threw out this tidbit, "I returned to Helena for the Sunday TV  marathon of Jesse Stone with Tom Selleck. I just have to watch every scrap of film whenever Tom Selleck is on.  He really does love baseball and used to pop in at the ballpark whenever he was in town. My husband would come home and say, "I had lunch at the ballpark with your boy friend today." (And I was home doing laundry)  The irony is that little bit was tossed out as an aside. It really didn't have anything to do with the rest of the blog.  Manzanita has lived an extremely interesting life that she gives the rest of us wee glimpses into every now and then.  I added Knows Tom Sellect to my list of Fun Facts about Manzanita.  I also added Humble About Knowing Tom Selleck to that list.

I just finished reading a blog devoted entirely to baseball, and more specifically to the Red Sox over at my friend JJ, The Disconnected Writer's page.  I always come away from his page smarter than I was before I entered.  I suggest you read the blog, but JJ used the Red Sox and "The Curse" that they endured after trading The Babe to highlight how the sport itself has changed over time.

Baseball.  Gah.  We all have our own associations that we attach to everything.  My first serious boyfriend played baseball.  I never saw him play, but I understand he was fairly hot stuff in high school.  I met him in college after he blew out his knee playing football, thus ending both his football and baseball "careers."  Baseball was his passion, though.  The knee was problematic because he played catcher.  Game over.  I watched him navigate life like a fish out of water for nearly three years before he joined the military.  Not saying that decision was right or wrong, but it was forward movement.  Ironically, he had no desire to watch the game.  If he wasn't playing it, there was no allure whatsoever.  Fine by me.

Baseball and I didn't even cross paths again until I got married.  One of the things about which my ex was passionate: the Atlanta Braves.  Honestly, I could have tolerated it had he watched the game like an adult.  It was the screaming, stomping, and throwing things that drove me insane.  When a Braves game was on, I hid in the bedroom with the children and the door closed.  The worst times were being stuck in the truck and a game would start.  That meant listening to it on the radio with nowhere to go.  Prison might have been more fun.  I can't say since I haven't tried prison.

Our marriage was loaded with argumentsyelling.  I remember one instance quite clearly.  I was in bed sick with a fever.  Felt terrible.  I was watching something on TV in the bedroom while trying to go to sleep.  He was watching a game in the family room.  He opens the bedroom door - very excited.  "You have to come see this.  Dale Murphy is in the announcer's booth.  You have to see Dale Murphy."

I didn't have to see Dale Murphy.  I didn't want to see Dale Murphy.  I didn't care anything about Dale Murphy.  I told him that I was staying right where I was Thank You Very Much.  It was like watching a volcano blow.  I can't remember it exactly, but the gist was that not wanting to see Dale Murphy was equivalent to not caring about HIM at all.  Dale Murphy was his childhood idol, and by not caring about Dale Murphy equated to not caring about HIM.  The two were equal.  As in one and the same.  Taking it all one step further, not caring about The Braves was also like not caring about him.  The Braves were HIS team.  I told him that when they started sending him a paycheck, I would care like he wouldn't believe.  Until then, not so much.  I have never seen such fury.

Baseball.  Right now I am 0 for 2.


  1. I'm sorry!
    I was passionate about my sports teams when I was young (although not to that point) and have mellowed with age. Baseball was never a passion though. Fun to watch in person, not so much on television.

  2. I played baseball briefly growing up, but I liked soccer much more. I still keep up with sports some, but I honestly don't get why some men (and women, I might add) get so emotionally wrapped up in the games. It's not like they are on the field performing athletic battle, yet they act like just because they are watching the game "their" team will perform better -- oh the ego! I still really enjoy *participating* in sports much more and doing fun outdoor activities like running over rattle snakes with my mountain bike (that's a great story).

  3. (1) I agree with Manzanita re: watching Tom Selleck. Loved Magnum, love Blue Bloods, love the Jesse Stone TV movies.

    (2) Ending the curse is the worst thing that could have happened to Boston. Now they're just a baseball team. Before, they had THE CURSE! Just the drop in T-shirt sales alone....

    (3) Your comment "I told him that when they started sending him a paycheck..." ties into one of the upcoming Bronx Tale posts on my blog...except the movie talks about the Yankees. But they comment on placing too much importance on hero worship.

    One might also say that insisting you climb out of your sick bed is like not caring about YOU. While I am sad when marriages fail (too many do), it also makes me sad to see things like that-being inconsiderate is almost worse than physical abuse.

    To me, the benefit of living with someone (I live alone) would be having someone to whine to when I feel sick. It sucks to be sick and alone. It must be worse to be sick and ignored.

    If it makes you feel better, I have no idea who Dale Murphy is. I would not have gotten up either.


  4. Hi Robin,

    Thought I should step up to the plate and whilst avoiding curve balls, leave a comment.

    Incidentally, there is a consensus that I look like Tom Selleck. If anything, he looks like me. Okay, he doesn't look like me. Okay, we both have a moustache (mustache).

    Actually, your posting brings back some times when somebody actually took me to the ball park. A bit difficult living in England, however, where they don't play baseball.

    I've had a varied life and when I was a teenager living in Vancouver, I used to go to minor league baseball games at Capilano Stadium. My buddies and I would get there early and talk to the players as they warmed up for the game. We had many a fun conversation with the players. I remember this one dude who had noted how small the crowds were. In his finest southern drawl, he said, "What y'all been doin' scarin' all them folks away?" Another player asked us, "Hey guys, where do all the chicks hang out?" Of course, being fifteen and being 'men of action', we told him about all the hot spots where you could like pick up 'chicks'. He told us he would check out those places after the game in his "pick up truck."
    And the player who wanted to know where to find the ladies started bragging about how great a game he was going to have. And a great game he had. That was the good news. The bad news was that he played for the opposing team named the Spokane Indians. And the name of that player? Bobby Valentine, who is now the manager of the Boston Red Sox.

    Yay Blue Jays. Oops...

    Take care, Robin.


  5. Alex ~ There is passion and then there is Insanity. I understand passion. Insanity is what I cannot fathom.

    Steven ~ You have hit the proverbial nail right on the head. My ex insisted that he MUST watch/listen to the game or his team would lose. He also had to be wearing a Braves Jersey or Hat. All of these things actually determined the outcome of the game. Crazy. Absolutely Nuts. Or as you say -- Oh the ego!

    LC ~ I have always like Tom Selleck, too. Magnum was just excellent fun. What guy didn't want to be Magnum and what girl didn't want to date him???? I honestly don't know much about The Curse and cannot comment either way about it. Yes, I knew that the Sox were on a huge losing streak, but I didn't know that about sales, etc. You should read JJ's blog as it relates more to culture. I think you will find it interesting.

    I have seen you reference A Bronx Tale before and I haven't commented because I haven't seen it. I guess I need to add it to the Must See Movie List.

    Unfortunately, there were no positives to being married to my ex. And that is just a sad fact. On a positive note, we do get along much better as divorced people than we ever did married!

    Gary ~ Great story. Thank you for sharing. I don't know who Bobby Valentine is per se. However, I understand the function of a manager to a ball team. The fact that this story spun directly around back to the Red Sox: Priceless.

  6. Robin
    I must say that I don't "personally know" Tom S. It was just through my husband who would see him, have lunch with him, talk baseball, etc when Tom visited the ball park. Baseball people are a strange group. If their passion is baseball, it is on that level they meet and talk mostly about baseball. The person's occupation, who is their spouse, all other pertinent personal things are not important. Only baseball is important. I'll tell you another zinger about my husband. Before he moved the ball club to MN and named it the TWINS, they were in Washington DC and they were the Senators. In (I think) 1950 Castro wanted to be a pitcher and he tried out for the Senators. My husband said he just wasn't good enough and they didn't sign him. So Castro went on to start the revolution. (Like don't start the revolution without me..Ha) I often told my husband that he could have changed history if he had signed Castro but I'm sure his brother would have then been the one and Castro would have become a capitalist. BUT... my husband and Castro always remained friendly because they shared that baseball passion. One time when I saw Calvin really sad was when he was getting quite old and sick. Castro had signed a ball for him and he always kept it on his desk in his office at the ball park. Someone stole it. Calvin had signed balls from every president who ever threw out the first ball but he treasured that Castro ball. Shame on the person who stole it.

    I started reading JJ's post and got interrupted. I have to finish reading it. (Interruptions.... story of my life)

    You are better off to be away from that husband. He didn't respect or honor you. I'm happy to hear that you can get along better today. I know I did a lot of stupid things when I was young that I'd never dream of doing today. So he has most likely grown up a bit.

  7. Well, I'll step up and join the Magnum crowd. When I was dating my now husband, my father insisted I was dating him because he looked like Tom Selleck. On the other hand, my husband's grandmother insisted I liked Tom Selleck because he looked like hubby. Either way, I won!

    There is a lot of depth here to your post and to the comments that have followed...but on your ex's side...perhaps there was some OCD?

    As for the Red Sox...well, if you didn't live it, you couldn't understand it. They may well be just another team now, but we no longer have to bleed each season. It's a relief. I still harbor huge regrets that we lost my dad, a life-long fan, months before they won the World Series. Oh how I would have loved seeing him experience that.

  8. I totally agree about Manzanita leading an interesting life. She's a wonderful woman.

    My dad liked to watch or listen to baseball - as long as it was the Astros. I'm grateful he wasn't a fanatic about it.

    I don't know you except via blogging, but I think it was a very good thing for you to get out of that marriage.

  9. CH was a football player (went to West Point to play), but I'm the one who is glued to the tv on Saturdays in the fall!
    I don't "get"'s way too boring! I have a nephew who is a relief pitcher for a farm team & my sister loves the game. I just don't get it.

  10. Manzanita ~ Have you ever considered writing a book? I mean, seriously!!!! You have all these amazing stories inside you that will be lost forever if you don't write them down! How many people knew that Castro had Big Dreams of being a pitcher for a baseball team? Certainly not me. Funny thing about life. Had he been just a bit more talented it would have changed history. Maybe his brother wouldn't have been very good at leading a revolution. It is such a strange thing to think that the fate of the world can sometimes rest on one person's life going one way or another. Spooky.

    As for the rest of what you said, shame on that person who stole that ball. And, yes, I am better off divorced. I am still trying to recover him and the people that followed. I was like The Woman Who Came Undone and lost herself. Now, it is all about finding those missing pieces and healing everything up. And forgiveness. It requires lots of forgiveness.

    Carol ~ Yes. You need to read her comment to THIS post! Enthusiasts I get. My father became a Miami Dolphins fan when we moved to Florida in the 70s. He remained so until he died. He never owned a jersey or hat. He never shouted at the TV. He just enjoyed the game. That I get. Getting out that marriage saved my life. The migraines started there, but didn't stop there. I honestly don't know where I would be had I stayed. I am not sure I would still be alive today. So, yes, leaving was the right choice!

    Life In A Small Town ~ I understand having a team you support and watching the game. It is all of the histrionics that were the problem.

  11. HAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I LOVE that photo!!!!!!!!

    I like baseball... really really like baseball.

    I've got to go read JJ's post...


  12. It goes without saying that your ex was/is a jerk. It's twisted how some men identify so strongly with sports. I had a boyfriend who took me to a baseball game on my birthday, though I hated sports. Fortunately, one of the few redeeming qualities of my ex-husband was that he wasn't a sports fanatic. You hit a grand slam, getting out of that marriage.


  13. I can see why your ex is an ex. He was an inconsiderate schmuck. Not that I'm being judgmental or anything.

  14. I love baseball and am an Astros fan through and through. Ever since I was a little girl, my dad endoctrined me and my siblings to the game and the love of the sport. Sadly, my team kind of sucks but it's a young team, they'll come back! :)

  15. Manzanita rocks without a doubt.

    LOL at the Tom Selleck aside.

    My hubby won a college scholarship because he was good at baseball, but he already has his tuition paid for, so he skipped it. He still loves baseball. The best Father's Day gift ever was on-deck circle seats to a Tigers game. He still talks about it from time to time. That makes it easy to get him gifts we know he'll like. ;)

  16. I always used to sing "Take me out with a ball peen".

  17. Shoes ~ You are so visual.

    Robyn ~ There is a reason they are exes, no?

    Susan ~ Yes, I can see that. Very unbiased on your part. ::cough cough::

    Yvonne ~ The heart of a sports enthusiast... ever hopeful.

    mail4rosey ~ True enough. It is easy to buy gifts for someone who has a team that they really, really, really like. Go Tigers!

    Matt ~ So, how often did you get hammered?

  18. Robin: On my blog today, I think I hit one out of the park, maybe even this world. On Earth, I am passionate about baseball, but trying to force my wife to watch by yelling at her would be a recipe for a strike out.

    1. Yeah, you and my ex have nothing in common:)

  19. ROBIN ~
    First, a sincere apology for not getting my comment(s) written and posted last night. Here's what happened - [*GULP!*] - I hesitate to say it on THIS PARTICULAR blog bit of yours but... it IS kinda funny in a twisted little way...

    I had every real intention of writing two fine comments last night - one to you on my X-Y-Z blog bit, and the other on DiscConnected's blog. I was going to write both of them just as soon as the baseball game I was watching came to an end. It was the Airheadzona Diamondbacks, in their own home park, attempting to avoid a three-game sweep by the Los Angeles Dodgers. As soon as the ninth inning ended, I was gonna be all over those comments.

    Problem: End of the Ninth Inning - score Dodgers 5, D'Backs 5.
    Yep, just my luck, a tie game... leading to extra innings. DOH! Well, the damn game went FOURTEEN innings and didn't end until midnight. By which time I'd fallen asleep at least 5 or 6 times on the living room floor. (Dodgers completed the sweep, 7 to 5.)

    Game over. Stephen's night over. Straight to bed.

    So... a thousand apologies. Those comments WILL get written tonight, BEFORE I watch a single inning of the D'Backs vs. the Milwaukee Brewers.

    Quick Note About Baseball: If you can somehow forget the negative past associations with the game, I think you could really learn to love it. It's the game for more intelligent sports fans because there are so many subtle elements to it, and it contains such romance, and legend. (It was somewhat ruined by the addition of the Designated Hitter in the American League, and GREATLY ruined by the Steroid Era. But they are cleaning up the game now.)

    As for your former husband... a full baseball season is 162 games long. That is too many games to be screaming, stomping, and throwing things.

    Have you seen the movies 'Bull Durham' and 'Field Of Dreams'? They might help you ease into an affair with baseball. (My Ma loved baseball more than any other person I've ever known.) Or, better yet, try my all-time favorite movie about baseball: 'BANG THE DRUM SLOWLY' (1973) starring Robert De Niro and Michael Moriarty. It's as much a character study as a baseball story, and it's a real tender tear-jerker. If nothing else, you'll learn a great new card game called "TEGWAR".

    Robin, comments tonight for sure... unless I get hit by falling space junk!

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

    1. This was actually the perfect post for your reply. hahahaha.

      Before I forget -- I found all of my missing comments that I have posted on my blog that disappeared -- they went into spam. So, check your spam folder. You might have comments in there. I think many of comments are in spam folders all over the Blogosphere. Rats on Blogger.

      It is a funny thing about baseball. I didn't really care one way or the other prior to my experience with my ex. And the rationale part of me knows that it wasn't The Game at fault, it was the way he responded to The Game that I didn't like. However, whenever I have dated anyone since who is extremely passionate about Their Team, I won't even watch a game with them. I guess I just don't want to know what will happen. Will there be a temper tantrum? Screaming? Throwing things? How bad will this get?

      The other irony is this: I like movies ABOUT sports. Bull Durham and Field of Dreams are favorite movies of mine. I even liked Every Other Sunday, The Blind Side, and For Love of the Game. There was a TV show called Friday Night Lights that I bought on DVD and watched. I really liked it. The first few seasons were the best (par for the course), but it was strongly about high school football. Loved it.

      So, it isn't the sport. It is how people respond to it.

      As for the comments, I will be back tonight to check those out. Watch out for falling space junk!

  20. ROBIN ~
    You were totally correct! I found your old missing comment in my Spam file. I have published it but not yet replied to it.

    When I went looking through the Spam file for your missing comment, I also found a comment that I had written AND PUBLISHED in the comment section of my blog bit about the 7/4/2013 version of 'The Declaration Of Independence'. I had written it to Sheboyganboy Six, and it WAS published in my blog's comment section.

    Apparently some time later it REMOVED ITSELF from the comment section and put itself in the Spam file. I didn't even realize it was missing, and I never would have known that had you not suggested I check the Spam file.

    Blogspot has ALWAYS been very buggy. I've had countless problems with this site over the years.

    I have NOT watched an inning of baseball tonight (and the game is over - I don't know who won). But having not been struck down by falling space junk, I'm now off to respond to your comment.

    Hey, don't let dumb dudes ruin the sports for ya! I played on a high school football team, but I never saw 'Friday Night Lights' (you know me and TV), but I HAD heard of it and knew what it was about.

    I have largely lost my interest in sports, even though I literally grew up at Dodger Stadium and my Ma worked for the L.A. Dodgers (and the California Angels, too). But I'll still watch a game now and then.

    I have an assignment for you (i.e., favor to ask of you)... You mentioned 'Bull Durham' and 'Field Of Dreams' (both good movies). How about 'BANG THE DRUM SLOWLY'? If you've never seen it, will you get it from NetFlix? Because I know absolutely that you will really like it (even though it's terribly sad).

    Also, a football movie for ya... Have you seen 'RUDY'? If not, it's unquestionably a "must-see" sports movie!

    Most of my favorite sports movies are really character studies wrapped in sports. Both of those recommendations - 'Bang The Drum Slowly' and 'Rudy' - are first and foremost "people stories", over and above the sports themes they are presented in.

    If you don't totally dig those two movies, you should ignore every movie recommendation I might make ever after. That's how sure I am that you'll like '...DRUM' and 'RUDY'.

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

    1. I did see Rudy a LONG time ago and it was very good. It is well worth watching again. I will add the other movie to my ever-growing list of movies to see.

  21. I'm not interested in baseball either. It seems to take a long time to play with a lot of standing around and not much action. I didn't really like football either until I lived in Egypt. Now I love it, but I think that's because I'm so far away and because hubby watches soccer, which is a horrible game. One goal in 90 minutes. How frustrating. No wonder the soccer hooligans fight so much. Ugh.

  22. Reading about your ex through this post makes me feel for you in a whole new way as it is obvious that you didn't get the benefit of what marriage is really supposed to be. You gave your fair share and never actually received. That would be enough to make anyone not want to care, ever, about whatever their selfish partner was into.
    I always feel a little pang of combined guilt and sadness for those I'm close to that don't ever get to be so madly more and more in love over the long haul. It's just sad in an indescribable way. I guess I just want what I cherish so much for everyone I care about...
    As for the baseball- it was once my favorite sport. I still like to watch it live, in person. Otherwise, not so much. I like the relaxing aspect of it, actually. That would probably blow your ex's mind!


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