Tuesday, November 30, 2010


I have found several new blogs the way that I usually do... completely by dumb luck and accident. One or more of the bloggers is doing this Alphabet thing. Since my brain is having technical difficulties, this has its appeal. There is no specific topic, per se, except that I have to run with a thought for the day that starts with first letter of the alphabet, and the next day move on to the next. In other words, it might help me narrow the field. That actually struck me as helpful at this point in my blogging "career."

That would make today "A," and as life would have it, Abuse has been on my mind for weeks. I have blogged about abuse before. Several times. For those of you have followed this blog for a long time, this is not new news. For my newer followers, this might be somewhat interesting. I think that the last time I really tackled this topic was when I LOVE THE WAY YOU LIE came out. I will likely throw that one up again before we leave today. However, I want to revisit some old and new thoughts.

I know that abuse seems like a really terrible idea for the holidays. Not very cheery. The thing is that abusers don't take holidays. They keep right on abusing all year long. They don't take note that it is November 21 and Thanksgiving is coming up; their families (aka victims) would really like a reprieve for the holidays, so they turn it off. In fact, it is likely to get worse since the alcohol tends to flow at higher rate of speed right up until the New Year is rung in. Cheers everyone!

I think that the time I posted about abuse that shocked me most was after General Hospital did a storyline on teen abuse and ran a PSA after announcing that 1 in 3 teens were being abused. I about had to peel myself off the ceiling. I posted something on this blog and got a meh response. I was shocked. I am not sure you fine people believed me. Or maybe people just don't read my blog. Yeah, that sounds about right. I even posted a video showing the prevalence of teen abuse. It only lasted a minute. I am going to throw it back up here again and add another one. This crap is real. This is what our youth is learning from watching their parents and grandparents. Abuse. Our society is becoming more and more abusive. We are not becoming kinder and gentler. These are not the traits that our children are learning. 1 in 3. The numbers are telling the tale.

Abuse is something that people don't understand unless they have lived there. You just don't get it. Abusers are good. Very rarely do physical abusers start out swinging. They just about always start out as emotional and verbal abusers. They have to break the spirit of the person that they are abusing before they physically work on them. Once they have broken their spirit, they own that person. That person can't go anywhere. In fact, they don't have to physically abuse them, because they are so broken that they usually won't leave anyway. Emotional and verbal abuse is so insidious that you often don't even know it is happening. It eats at the foundation of your soul. At first you think, "He didn't mean it like that." Or, "She didn't mean it like that." Then, you begin to doubt yourself. We all have a negative tape loop playing in our head and when our spouse/parent/significant other lets us know that we don't make the grade it rots our self esteem. And that is just what they are going for, because they want you to think that you are unlovable. Only they will love you. So you better not leave because you are essentially unlovable. And if they start hitting and kicking at that point... well, how can you leave?

The travesty here is that teens are experiencing abuse. Teens. That means a person's FIRST relationship is likely to be an abusive relationship. Let that sink in. First love is often the most true love you experience. It might not work out, but it is still the most unsullied, pure love you have. That first love has a place in your heart that can never be filled by another. What happens when your first love is an abusive love? What happens when first love equals abuse? What happens when true love means cruel love? What does it do to your psyche when it isn't love if it doesn't hurt? I was already walking down this path when I found that song YOU'RE THE STORM by The Cardigans, which I think is super amazing. I loved it so much that I started listening to their other songs on youtube. Well, that led me to this song. It answered all of my questions about what happens if your first love is abusive love. It gave me chills. It made me hurt. Damage. It causes damage.

"Then it hit like me never before that love is a powerful force.... Love you're news to me... Yes, it struck me that love is a sport so I pushed you a little bit more. Blue, blue, black black and blue. Red blood sticks like glue..... Oh you hit me, oh you hit me really hard. Man you hit me right in the hard. Lord, I've had my deal, but I never quite knew how it feels when love makes you wake up sore with fists that are ready for more. Then it hit me that love is game. Like a war no one can be blamed. Yes, it struck me that love is a sport, so I pushed you a little bit more....True love is cruel love....Baby you punched me right in the heart and then you kissed me. And then you hit me. And then you kissed me. And then you hit me."

Well, I picked through the lyrics, but you get the idea. I was amazed that some people thought that this song was not abuse in the comments on youtube. They said things like, "I think this is all metaphorical." Metaphorical for what? But I didn't go there. No point fighting a verbal war with someone who can't think.

Why do I keep posting about abuse? Because if 1 in 3 teens are being abused, you probably know one of them. Open your eyes. Pay attention. If you are around teenagers, look for the signs of abuse. You are probably not looking because you are not expecting to see it. I am sad to tell you that it is there. They have been watching the rest of the world go straight to hell in a handbasket, and decided to take the trip. I am going to repost Marshall Mather's most excellent video I LOVE THE WAY YOU LIE. It is so honest about abuse. It is not pretty. The lyrics are ugly. The situation is ugly. Abuse is hard to look at, but we all need to look at it. Look hard so that you recognize what you are looking at when you see it.

Here is another cold, hard fact. It takes, on average, a battered woman 7 attempts to leave her batterer. That means it takes some women more attempts and some women less. That is a lot of attempts. In other words, leaving is beyond HARD.

image found at www.weheartit.com

Monday, November 29, 2010

It sounds like....

I wasn't going to blog again today. My plan was to cruise through your writings, leave some comments, and try to gather up some coping skills. I have tried lying in bed listening to soothing music. Nyet. I have tried paying those bills that were worrying my mind. Nyet. I have taken a shower because I felt stinky. Nyet. I hoped for an Idea for this blog so long as I was in there. Nyet. I sent an email to my father asking for more money, assuring future financial solvency. Nyet. I ate. Nyet. I watched an episode of something I recorded on the DVR. Can't remember what it was now. Nyet. Oh yeah, The Good Wife. Good show. Still nyet. The migraine lingers. It sticks like grappling hooks and pounds away. I think it is determined to thunk out every worthwhile thought that I have. Oh there is a good that. Bang bang bang. Oh what was it again? I forgot. It started with.... It is something like that.

Of course my favorite moments these days are when I forget the words for things and have to go with the description. I forgo this little adventure in my blog and just shut down the topic entirely. But in my real life I can't quite do do that. Mostly because people are talking, and you are talking, and suddenly the word is gone. First comes dead silence, and then the realization that the word really is gone for the duration of this conversation. Therefore, since "shoe" is no longer part of your active vocabulary, the fun begins. First there is the apologizing for having forgotten a simple word. Then it is like a game of charades without the ear pulling for "sounds like" and other such antics. Instead, it is "you know the leather item you wear on your foot." And you get the relief of your conversational partner supplying the missing word: shoe. Then you feel like a total dumbass because shoe is not a hard word. It isn't even two syllables. If my brain is going to forget something, it should at least give me the dignity of forgetting something with two syllables. Something like flashlight. You know the thing that you hold in your hand that requires batteries and a light comes on. Mostly it gets used in the dark since it provides light. That one could be fun. It might take several minutes to get someone to come up with flashlight if my brain went down with that word. Egads.

I read Liza's blog and she was talking about how much she loves blogging, even though she hasn't been blogging as regularly as she used to, and she threw out a question to her readers about their blogs. Why do you blog? Do you love it? This blog used to keep me grounded. Sane. I feel my hand slipping on the crazy stick, and I know that it is the chronic pain. I used to know that I had to blog every day even if I felt like I couldn't, because every life needs meaning. Even if I really didn't have anything to say. Richard Bach says that learning is remembering what you already know. Should have set that up as a quotation. Didn't. Said it in his book ILLUSIONS, which I have read so many times, well I should be smarter than this.

So, why do I blog? To give my life meaning. Even though I don't see any meaning right now. Even though I see a lot of crazy. Even though I can't remember words and have to launch into descriptions of words that make me giddy crazy. Why do I read your blogs? I look for meaning. Why am I intent on creating a website? To create meaning. To keep people from falling down the rabbit hole.

It is no secret that I spend a lot of time on youtube. A plethora of time. I have not been silent on my Marshall Mathers fascination. He strikes me as another person looking for meaning. Ah, there goes Robin overthinking things again. LOL. I am throwing up two videos of the same song. One is the entire song and I don't think the "official" video, but I think it is very real in the context of the lyrics of the song. Ironically, this is one of his only songs where I think the curse words are all appropriate. I wouldn't change them. Huh. Go figure on that. The other is the official video, and it isn't inappropriate because Marshall Mathers is very attached to Detroit, and cares very much about the city. However, I don't think that he wrote the song with the city in mind. The fact that he feels a lot like the city is just cool. I don't know why they chose to drop the last verse of the song for the video. That doesn't make sense to me at all. But, who am I to judge anything? I can't remember one syllable words on any given day in the course of a conversation, so I am clearly not the word master.

I suppose this is all speaking to me right now because I have never felt less like myself. You know those exercises that they give you in high school... imagine your life in five years, ten years, twenty years. They do the same thing in college. Well, I had big plans. I really didn't expect to end up in sales. That was surprising. However, I feel a bit like Ally McBeal on her rant about her plan and it not working out. I would show you video footage for that if I had it. My plan was Beautiful. Nowhere in the plan was there me moving back in with my parents, having a seven year migraine, and living on pain medication. That is not Beautiful. That was not my plan. Not the five year, ten year, or twenty year plan. I was the only grandchild on either side of my family who went to college. And they all have good jobs, those non-college graduates. And none of them live with their parents. Just sayin'. Yeah, this is me bitchin' about my shoes. I wear seven and a halfs, sometimes eights. What about you?

Saturday, November 27, 2010


Thanksgiving has come and gone, so we are now officially in the Christmas season. Ironically, many people find it difficult to work up the happy at this time of year. I think that forced happiness is difficult. Or maybe just being around chronic happiness can make an ordinary life unbearable. In other words, what is bearable at all other times of the year, becomes unbearable when surrounded by so much glee. I know that sounds a little crazy. But, I specialize in the crazy, and that is my opinion. I know that too much happiness when my head feels like it is about to split right off my body is flat-out annoying. Annoying isn't the right word, but you get the idea. Throw in all of the other aches and pains, the fact that my friends don't or won't make the time to fit me into their schedules, and I get downright Grinchy at Christmas. That is part of the allure of blogging. You people still visit. You don't have to drive across town to do it. And you leave nice comments.

The inspirational video for the day reminds me a little bit of PAY IT FORWARD. I love that concept. I think that the whole world would be nicer if we always paid it forward in large and small ways at every opportunity. Sometimes I think that people get hung up because they think that it has to be huge in order for it to "count." Not true. Small things matter. And what is small to you might be huge to someone else. You never know where someone else is living. That is the thing about kindness. We can never be too kind to another person. We don't know their circumstances or the pains from which they are suffering. Your kind word might be the only kind word they hear that day, that week, that month. Do not discount your kindness. And that is why I love this video. I hope that you love it, too. Maybe it will make Your Favorites.

I have always liked the number eight because it comes full circle. I suppose I could like the number zero for the same reason, but not so much. Eight has balance and comes full circle. I like it. I like things with symmetry. Things that come full circle. Stories that have an end that bring you full circle, but that you didn't see coming. It was one of the reasons I liked Seinfeld so much. They did that a lot with four crazy characters on seemingly different journeys that all intersected and impacted at the end. Bang. When I write something with a Bang ending, it means it came full circle somehow. It had symmetry, balance, and it finished with a flourish. I like that. If there is some heartburn in there, well then I knocked it out of the park. Doesn't happen often. Anyway, I like my TV, movies, songs, and people like that, too. Give me an onion. Not a real one. Don't really like those, but the metaphorical ones. Love those.

Well, this is Saturday and we are pressing the button and checking out what was playing on MTV back in the 80s. Turns out lots of good stuff was playing on MTV back in the 80s. LOL. I watch the videos now and think, "The 80s had fantastic music. But the clothes and the hair were just freakin' terrible." And that is the truth. I would love to burn all of the pictures of myself from junior high through high school, except my play pictures. Keep those. The rest can meet a fiery death. I think I had a "me" moment and digressed. Let's get back on topic.

We are going to feature Journey today. I really loved Journey. I think of Journey and think of the skating rink. Actually, I think of a lot of 80s music and think of the skating rink. Journey, Styx, REO Speedwagon, Foreigner (which was a little harder), were are all awesome bands that when I start thinking about one of them, I think about all of them. But, we are sticking with Journey today. Steve Perry was the lead singer of Journey, and eventually left them and did a solo album. At least one. I don't know if he did more than one or not. And I am not looking it up. At least, not today. I can still remember the video for Oh Sherrie, though. Moving on...

Narrowing down the videos was fairly easy. I didn't want to go with concert footage, and I wanted to pick songs that I really liked. Yeah, have you noticed how much this blog really is all about me? I've learned you can't please other people, so I quit trying. I please me, so that I know one person will be happy. I figure that at least some of the rest of you will like my choices. So, here are the two Journey videos that I like (and remember best), and are non-concert vids (mostly). Every time I listen to Faithfully it makes me want to hold up a lit cigarette lighter. If I had one. Which I don't. But, I still have that feeling. It's a warm, gooey feeling. Geez, I love that song.

That was pretty darn awesome. I feel 20 years younger. Nope. That was a lie. I don't. I feel just as old now as I did twenty minutes ago. But, that was a lot of fun. And I am really glad that I am not in high school anymore. And there you have the silver lining. Happy Saturday peeps!

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Here's To You THANKSGIVING Thursday.

As I indicated yesterday, I am not doing my regular HERE'S TO YOU THURSDAY post. All of you have been sporadic with your postings due to your holiday preparations, and I have been spending a lot of time in bed listening to my migraine. It isn't my favorite way to spend the day. I am hoping that next week is better. I did spend some time with the family to honor the holiday this afternoon, and that was nice. I didn't have to do any of the cooking and that was even nicer. We didn't have a traditional meal, so the pressure was off for a feast. I think that made it easier on all concerned. My parents, and a good bit of my extended family, are having a hoot an anny. I know I didn't spell that right, but that word is just fun to say. It is bigger than a party and more redneck than a flat out celebration. My cousin does it up every year and cooks enough food for five families. That makes for lots of leftovers. Or so I hear. Someone has to hold the fort and feed the dogs. That would be me. The dog feeder. Besides, I don't think I could take the actual fun of a hoot an anny. Just saying it is all the excitement I can handle.

I did cruise youtube.com for some Thanksgiving footage. I found some pretty good stuff. So, kick back and enjoy. Here are some of my favorite families and/or characters enjoying the holiday. Or fighting their way through it. Some folks just never get a day off.

This is clip #1 and should not be skipped. It is hilarious. Click here.

This is clip #3 and should also not be skipped. Click here.

This is clip #5 and hilarious. Definitely do not skip it. Click here.

This is clip #6 and ever so funny. You will be sorry if you skip this one! Click here.

Hope you found a thing or two in there to make you smile or even laugh out loud. Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

image found at www.weheartit.com

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Thanksgiving love.

I know that I have gotten behind in my blog reading and posting. It isn't because of the holidays. It is just because I am not feeling well. Period. I don't know if it is lucky or "whatever" but I don't have a single thing on my HERE'S TO YOU THURSDAY list. Turns out Thursday is Thanksgiving. I doubt many of you will be doing much blogging or reading tomorrow anyway. So... I am giving myself a HERE'S TO YOU break. I might throw up some of my favorite Thanksgiving videos and let you enjoy those if I have the time, inclination, etc. I am eating dinner with family. If I have anything left in me after that, well... there may be videos. That just sounds pitiful, doesn't it?

Some days are just better than others. Some weeks are better than others. This migraine is really kicking my.... head. I wanted to go with a different word, but head is more appropriate. Anyway, I hope that all of you have really wonderful holidays with your loved ones. And I am sure that we will all get back to our regular routine (whatever that is) all in good time.

Candance did her regular Bullet Point Wednesday and threw in a video, because she felt like her post was "lame." My response to that in the comments was that the video was so cute that she should have not spent her energy on the post at all, and just posted the video. Now I am wishing I had taken my own advice. So, without typing anymore.... Happy Thanksgiving (just in case you don't hear from me tomorrow), and enjoy the video!!!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Are Ya'll Ready For This?

Yesterday I had my "mental" appt. There were plenty of reasons to get anxious about the appt itself. My parents are out of town. That alone is cause for a meltdown. A friend of mine drove in to drive me to the appt since my parents were gone, and my aunt and uncle had a dental appt. Life is nuts. Yeah, I just wrote that. I am talking about crazy doctors and I said that. Anyway, I talked to one of you about this appt and it really helped (you know who you are). I took your advice and went in there and was me. That meant I only melted down in crying jags three times. I suppose that means the appt went well. You said to be honest and tell them how I feel when they asked the questions. Well, when they start asking about my pain, quality of life, and other stuff like that... I feel pretty good that I only broke down three times in retrospect. It helped that the main person asking the questions is a migraine sufferer. No one understands migraine pain like another person who has migraine pain. Her parting words to me were that I should be on SSDI with the severity of my migraines and bonanza of other problems. She also encouraged me to not give up if they deny me on this first rodeo. So, it was as good a first appt as I was gonna get. I prayed that God let the doctors see my situation as it really was and I feel like that happened. I can't ask for any more than that.

My appt with the regular doctor is after my parents get back in December. I will let you know how that one goes when it happens. I am going to do my best not to worry about it and pray the same way about it. I just want the doctors to see this whole mess as it really is. I don't want a hand out. I want some help up. And, eventually, I want to clean house. But it is all one day at a time.

Speaking of house cleaning... I spent some quality time with customer service on the phone. That would be the hosting service for my website. The fellow understood how ill-equipped I was to fix this problem, so he put up a page indicating my page was Under Construction. It also has my new email address on it. Now, I just need to find someone interested in my project and my site to design it. I am actively praying about that starting now. This thing needs to be a database with code to run a zip code search. That will likely be the most difficult part of the whole deal. The rest of it is just the pretty. There will be other pages that I will want to look nice. There will need to be links and all that jazz. But, the database deal is probably the toughest thing because it is specific and that code for the zip code thing is specific. Of course, lots of sites have it, so it isn't a big mystery; it is just specific. Yeah, if I use that word one more time, even I will puke. Done with it.

Anyway, there is a lot to be thankful for here, in spite of this mind splitting migraine that just won't get lost. Yeah, it is still lingering like a stalker boyfriend. Speaking of which, remember Flash? Well, check this! I don't think I ever gave you guys the full scoop on Flash. If you're confused right now, he is the last boyfriend... the cheater and the one who stole my medication. He was really bad news. I could get into even more bad stuff that he did, but I really want to move along in this story. Anyway, after I broke things off with him, and he swore he would never date again, because I was his one true love, he met someone inside of a week, and there were kissing pictures on his myspace inside of ten days. Yeah, some people move on faster than they think they will. Besides that, he was a cheater, he probably had a little something something going on the side already anyway. Moving on...

He convinced THAT GIRL to marry him. I about fell out when I saw that come through on his announcements on myspace. That happened (also) very fast. I suppose he wanted to seal the deal quick. You know, before she figured out who he REALLY was. You stick with someone long enough and you're bound to see beyond the flash and dazzle and all that. All that glitters isn't gold. This guy glittered. Man he knew how to put the shine on... I do remember it well. *sigh* Underneath all that shine is a big ole pile of crap.

Anyway, I logged into myspace a couple of days ago after not going there in forever, and saw that there was a message from Flash. Honestly, I was shocked. After we split, I didn't read his email. But we had been apart so long that I felt like this one was safe. Turns out that it was not from Flash at all; it was from Flash's wife. She must have sent it out to all of the women on Flash's myspace. It was a general announcement letting all of the girls know that she and Flash were through. Kaput. Getting a divorce. She was not so subtly making a grand announcement that he was back on the market. She didn't exactly say, "And let the bidding begin..." but she might as well have. It made me think of that old Shania Twain song WHOSE BED HAVE YOUR BOOTS BEEN UNDER. Oh, Flash, it looks like you did it again. Swing, batter, batter, batter, Swing, batter, batter, batter, Swing! I am just glad that I moved and he doesn't know where I live. I feel very thankful. Life is good.

This song goes out to Flash's wife. I would have told you what kind of man he was, but you wouldn't have believed me. I am sorry you had to experience that. You will know better next time. You got some painful schooling. I know. Been there. Done that. He teaches a tough curriculum.

image found at www.weheartit.com

Sunday, November 21, 2010

The next day.

Thank you all for the encouraging comments on yesterday's blog. I was reminded of several things.

1) A person should always use the "f" word spartanly. That way when you do use it, everyone knows that you are boiling mad. There is never any doubt about your anger level. If you use it all of the time, you could be slightly mad to over the top, ready to punch your fist through a wall. For the record, I was ready to put my foot down a laptop and smash a mouse into next month. However, I wrote some really hot words and shook my fist at the sky and left it there.

2) Not everyone is good at every thing. I knew that already. I thought it would be a good idea for me to learn how to build this website so that I could make changes down the line. I don't want to be the person making changes to the website down the line. I want someone else to design it. I want them to show me how to input the doctor information. I want them to show me how to move from tab to tab. I want them to show me how to input information and I want their telephone number if it is any more complicated than that. You want to know why? Because when this website takes off, I am going to be the person out there fundraising for big money, meeting major players, and building houses. I won't have time to be dinking around with website code. I am not good at that. I will never be good at that. I am a PEOPLE person. I am not a computer person. People have skills. God wants you to work the stuff you are good at and hire other people to work the stuff they are good at. It is called teamwork.

3) I have to trust that the person who is going to help me build this site is going to do it not just because they want the big money, but because they are committed to the idea. In the end, the money will come to them. That is the way it always works. You do something for the greater good and the greater good turns around and gives it back to you ten times over. In fact, I have known from the beginning of this project (that would be 2008 when it was just an idea) that many people would be involved in this thing. Some of you are reading this blog. You can accept the calling or not. However, you wouldn't be hearing anything if God weren't whispering in your ear. For those of you who don't believe in God... I guess all I have for you is this: "Be the change you wish to see in the world." ~Gandhi Yeah, didn't come from God or the Bible. Just a man. One who changed the world. Think about that for a while.

4) I am amending yesterday's statement. I hate working on that site like God hates sin. I took the "f" word out. I am not enraged anymore. I suppose that is because I haven't visited that site today. Been in bed all today with a migraine from yesterday's visit. I learned my lesson. What is the definition of stupidity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. So... now I am sitting back and waiting. Not my strong suit. So, let's see how long this lasts...

Saturday, November 20, 2010

A very bad start.

I hate this fucking website the way that God hates sin.


There is news. In spite of my migraine, I decided to take a leap and find out what was what with my novel. Turns out I did not save The End on anything. I kinda sorta knew that. So, I had a major flip out. The next day I called the computer guy who wiped my computer and asked him about my saved files. He saved everything on his computer for 30 days. I told him what I was looking for, and he said it was all right there on his computer. I was stunned, because I couldn't find it anywhere. And this is what I mean when I talk about my lack of computer savvy. I practically felt his sigh of "uh oh" through the phone as he guided me to my saved files. They were where he said that they would be. Now, why a person has to press two keys at the same time to get anywhere should be forbidden. Pressing one key is hard enough. That is what I think. And there were no written instructions on finding these files. The good news is that I was able to to transfer the files onto flash drives. The bad news is that I can't figure out how to transfer them back into my regular documents in Word. Yeah, that is really pitiful. Worst case: I will transfer them from my flash drive back into Word. Of course, I am having the same issues with my pictures. I can transfer them to my documents, but not back into my actual picture folders. These are the sorts of problems that indicate my complete lack of ability to work a computer and scare me sh*tless regarding my website.

Speaking of.... I got my site onto a hosting server last night. Now, I have no clue how to put up a page indicating that it is under construction. Yeah, that is really sad. I will work on that later today. I haven't even tried, so I am not throwing the towel yet. I just wanted you to know my level of incompetence, so when I next post about it, the post will make sense.

Today is Saturday. That makes this Magical Music Saturday. Misery sent me some links to some videos that she was partial to, and I really like this one. So, it is speaking to me for my Inspirational video for today. I hope that you, too, enjoy it. It makes me want to want watch all of the rest of their videos, I like them so much. Yeah, I am convinced that Youtube has somehow laced that site with visual crack cocaine. Anyway, for your viewing pleasure...

Wasn't that just awesome? I had to watch it a couple of times my first go-round. Of course, it is always like that for me when I find a song that just knocks me out. The first time it takes my breath, so I have to watch it again to make sure I saw and heard what I thought I saw and heard. If I did, then it is at least once more to confirm the deliciousness. Is that normal behavior? Don't answer that. I don't care. It's the way I roll. Anyway, that song gets five stars from me. "If you want me, I'm your country." I wish I was a songwriter. Heck, I wish I was a writer writer. That would be published, for those of you who don't follow my rambling on a regular basis. Moving on...

To the 80s pick of the week. These are always so much fun. I was thinking about going with Love and Rockets, because I really liked their song SO ALIVE. However, my choice wouldn't have been based upon their video. That song came out in the late 80s and I was in college by then, so I wasn't really watching much MTV at that point. I loved the song, but I was really just hearing it. They had another song called HAUNTED WHEN THE MINUTES DRAG, which I also really liked. However, the video is essentially no video. It is a stagnant picture. I kinda think that is the point. Makes for a boring video. I think that song might have been on the SHE'S HAVING A BABY soundtrack. Loved that movie and soundtrack, but I am sticking to my not looking this stuff up rule, unless I absolutely have to, and since I am not even using their stuff, I don't have to, so I'm not. Still love both songs, though.

Out of the blue, last night I thought about Whitney Houston. She was huge in the early 80s. She had (and still has) this huge voice. Make that huge beautiful voice. As a person who enjoys singing, I would love to have her vocal range. I don't. Not even close. But, I would love to have her vocal range. I think that this is her first video. I know that it is one of them. She looks like such a kid. I remember this video WELL. It got lots of play on MTV.

Isn't she amazing? And she is so young. So sweet. I think that is what comes through most profoundly. This amazing talent coupled with this inner beauty. She was the REAL DEAL. And then she came out with this song that just blew everyone away. My senior of high school our choir put on a show. There were always four solos. One of the girls sang this song. Fortunately, she had a great set of pipes and knocked it out of the park. Awesome song. Probably not a dry eye in the building.

Usually, I only include two videos. I am going to include a third. This is another case of the chicken and the egg. Whitney Houston is another singer that has made movies. That is what happens when you get someone that got hit with the talent stick over and over again. She has made a couple. The first was this one: THE BODYGUARD. That soundtrack went off the charts. I don't know how many songs went to number one. I am sure that this one did. I know that several others were released with a lot of success. Did they go number one? I don't know. Did MTV help? We are right back to that same old question. Did MTV promoting the song help the box office sales? Did box office sales help record sales? Blah blah blah. I do know that the folks making the videos had figured out that including clips from the movies was a pretty good idea. Here is another example. Great song. I do believe that Dolly Parton took it to number one back when she wrote it, and released it, and Whitney took it there again. You can't keep a good song down.

That trip down Memory Lane was fun. Hope you enjoyed it. MTV may not be playing music anymore, but every Saturday you can get your musical dose. See you next week!

Thursday, November 18, 2010


Today is the day that I celebrate all of the amazingness that you contributed to blogland this week. Yep, it is that day again. What day is that you ask? How can you have forgotten? Drum roll please. It is HERE'S TO YOU THURSDAY, of course! The very best day of the blogging week. It is the precursor to the best day of the work week.

Here is what is going down: this is a weekly event. The best (or worst) part is that I am not going to explain why I chose "whatever" footage for each of you. If, you watch your footage and are scratching your head at the end, well that means I didn't do a very good job. However, all is not lost. You can email me at rarichards68@gmail.com and ask me what I was thinking when I chose that particular piece of footage off of youtube and connected it to you. And then I will tell you. Then I will start sending up prayers that I haven't offended the crap out of whoever is on the receiving end of that email....lol. Because, honestly, I will tell you right now... I admire all of you enormously so I really hope that doesn't happen.

Also, this is not an exclusive venture by any means. I hope that you will take the time to watch ALL of the footage because I don't pick bad footage:-) I also hope that you might check out the blog of the person I dedicated the footage to because they are pretty darn awesome. If you haven't figured this out yet... I pick the footage based on something that you've written or something that I've gleaned from your personality. Think on that for a while... If you are having trouble watching the entire video (meaning it is being cut off on one side), click on it a couple of times and it will take you straight over to youtube. If you click on the four squares at the bottom corner of the video, it will enlarge it to fill your screen. The escape key will bring it back to normal size. The back arrow will bring you back to my page.

Now, let's get this PARTY STARTED!!!!

This one is for everyone (This is Part 2 of 2. Last week featured Part 1.):

This one is for ME:

This one is for Woman in The Midst:Raw:

This one is for JJ The Disconnected Writer:

This one is for Shoes at Red Shoe's Chronicles:

This one is for Kristin at Bringing Pretty Back:

This one is for Carol the Gardener:

This one is for Java at Never Growing Old (Part 1):

This one is for Java at Never Growing Old (Part 2):

This one is for Bathwater at memento mori:

Wednesday, November 17, 2010


My world of Plum hasn't been greeted with the amount of fanfare and fondness that I had hoped you would have for it. I really would like to live there. I claim full responsibility for your not embracing this fictional world with glee. Janet Evanovich clearly paints a much more enticing picture than I. So, I am stepping out of Trenton, and Stephanie's world, for a day to reconsider my options. While it is always fun to write about a fictional place that you would love to step into, it is less so if no one takes the journey with you. So, I leave you with this to ponder instead. You can thank Shoes over at Red Shoe's Chronicles for this one. He wrote an entire post that brought me to this place. It was very funny if you need a chuckle.

image found at www.photobucket.com

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Are You Packing Heat?

My original line of thought was to post about Morelli and Ranger today, but I don't think you people are ready for that. Seriously. So, we are going to take a look at Stephanie (aka me) through other eyes today. Let's turn that around. We are going to look at the world of Plum without all of that testosterone making our eardrums melt and our brains do screwy things.

Let's do a quick tour through Stephanie's immediate family. This will be fun. Grandma Mazur. She is my favorite character in Stephanie's family. She has taken up permanent residence with Stephanie's parents "now that Grandpa Mazur was scarfing down his normal two-eggs-and-a-half-pound-of-bacon breakfast in the hereafter." Grandma Mazur's favorite pastime is funeral viewings. This is pretty much a daily ritual. The deceased is judged on which funeral parlor is chosen, the quality of the casket, and it better be an open casket or Grandma Mazur is likely to get caught sneaking a peek. This is a no-no even in Trenton. Stephanie often gets dragged along to these outings to prevent this sort of thing, because family members get irate when their closed casket viewings become open casket thanks to Grandma Mazur.

"Grandma Mazur was seventy two and didn't look a day over ninety. I loved her dearly, but when you got her down to her skivvies, she resembled a soup chicken. Tonight's dress was a fire-engine-red shirtwaist with shiny gold buttons." This is one of grandma's tamer outfits. She often wears things like spandex biker shorts, or whatever she thinks might be trendy. And, like everyone else in Jersey she packs heat. Yeah, that sweet little old lady carries concealed and doesn't have a license to do so, but no one has a license in Jersey and everybody does it. Grandma is a lethal weapon because she thinks she is a crack shot, and she can't hit the broad side of a barn. So, when she pulls out her gun, everybody duck! She did manage to kill the turkey after it was cooked and on the dinner table. Of course, she wasn't aiming for it. At least, it couldn't get more dead.

Stephanie's mother thought that life really couldn't get any harder than it did when her mother, Grandma Mazur, moved in. She was wrong. She started dipping into the cooking sherry. She became a compulsive cleaner. When Stephanie started catching criminals, she moved on to the hard stuff. But just a nip now and then. And she irons a lot. It is safe to say that she has the cleanest house in Trenton. Stephanie's father is pretty much retired, but drives a cab for fun. His time in the cab picked up when Grandma moved in. He spends most of his time in front of the TV and is monosyllabic. So, long as he gets three squares a day, he seems to be mostly okay. I think that he pretends his real life is happening somewhere else. But this is purely conjecture on my part.

Remember when I told you that we would get back to Vinnie? Well, we're back. Vinnie is Stephanie's cousin. "Vinnie was forty-five, 5'7' without his lifts, and had the slim boneless body of a ferret. He wore pointy-toed shoes, liked pointy-breasted women and dark-skinned young men, and he drove a Cadillac Seville." Do you remember when I told you that Vinnie just gave Stephanie the job. It didn't exactly go down like that. She blackmailed him into giving her the job. Vinnie likes kinky sex and everyone knows about it except his wife. Well, that was going to change unless Stephanie got that job. It went a little bit like this:

"So give me one week, Vinnie," I said. "If I don't get him in a week, you can turn it over to someone else."

"I wouldn't give you a half hour."

I took a deep breath and leaned in closer to Vinnie, whispering in his ear. "I know about Madam Zareski and her whips and chains. I know about the boys. And I know about the duck."

He didn't say anything. He just pressed his lips together until they turned white, and I knew I had him. Lucille would throw up if she knew what he did to the duck. Then she'd tell her father, Harry the Hammer, and Harry would cut off Vinnie's dick."

Yeah, she went for the hard sell on the job. Sorry to have mislead you on that yesterday. Actually, it wasn't so much misleading, it just wasn't telling. I was saving it for today.

Getting back to Grandma and the things you need to know about her:
1) She is always up for anything. The more dangerous the better.
2) Favorite expression: "Isn't that a pip?"
3) Grandma was willed a 1953 Powder Blue Buick with a shiny white top, whitewall tires big enough to fit a backhoe, and gleaming chrome portholes. Stephanie likens it to a beluga whale and says that it turns corners like a refrigerator on wheels. Grandma can't drive, and this is ALWAYS Stephanie's last resort vehicle. She hates it. However, her cars are constantly being blown up, so Stephanie drives it a lot.
4) Some funeral parlors nail their caskets shut because of Grandma Mazur and her penchant for peeking when she shouldn't.

I still don't think you're ready for Morelli and Ranger, so tomorrow we are going to dish on my all-time favorite Plum character, aside from Stephanie, and her men. And Grandma. I really like Grandma. That would be Lula. She was a ho (in book one), but that life really is hard on a woman. So, she reformed and is now the file clerk at Vinnie's office. Turns out she really doesn't like to file, but she loves riding shotgun with Stephanie. She isn't any better at catching FTAs than Stephanie, but it makes the story twice as entertaining. Imagine an oversized black woman in poison green spandex whose response that a situation might be "delicate" is this: "Hell, I can delicate your ass off." And that is why I love Lula. I feel the need to go watch BABY GOT BACK on Youtube. Ya'll have a nice night. Catch you tomorrow because I am going to delicate your ass off!

image found at www.weheartit.com

Monday, November 15, 2010

It really is all about me.

I proposed something fun for this blog yesterday. Pain as your constant companion just isn't fun. And talking about it isn't fun either. There is a point of release and then there is a point of dwelling. Those lines are really close together. So, I try to not talk about it at all to avoid the possibility of crossing into the area of dwelling. I think I have landed into the land of dwelling because SO MUCH is happening with SSD and MY PAIN is bad right now. Those two things put it all right there at the forefront. So, when that happens I have to consciously put something else on this blog so that it takes up some mental space. I need something positive to think about and make me happy. Then I need to make myself do the stuff that scares me a little (like see what is really up with my novel and get my domain site on a web hosting server). Yeah, I practice avoidance. I admit it. Eventually I will have to do something about these things; I just want to bring my stress levels back down to tolerable before I do. Otherwise, if it is hard going or bad news I will be on the ceiling, and that really isn't attractive.ever.

So, I started thinking about fictional characters I would like to be. Everyone knows that I would like to be Buffy The Vampire Slayer. This is not news. Of course, Buffy has not really had the easiest time of it. The more I think on that, the more I realize how hard it would actually be to be her. She took a lot of hard knocks and I don't mean just physical ones. Lots of heartbreak there. So, I am taking a pass on Buffy for right now. She is very badass and I love that about her, but I am going in a different direction.

For years (and I mean years), my mom did everything but beat me over the head with Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series. She loved those books and I had it in my head that they were murder mysteries. I read enough murder mysteries in my time at St. Martin's Press to pretty well cure me. I like character driven books. I love suspense books. Matter of fact, when I was thinking out this blog I remembered that I read the Kinsey Millhone series right up until I found J.D. Robb's series and then I was done with Kinsey Millhone. I didn't piece that together until today. Why was that? Kinsey pretty well worked alone. J.D. Robb writes futuristic murder mysteries featuring an interesting cast of characters. The first novel introduced them all. The delicious Rourke. Irish. Gorgeous. And numero uno suspect turned out to be not guilty of murder, but our detective, Eve Dallas, married him. He is also a gadzillionaire, which is very sexy. There is the very sensible Peabody and her kooky, nerdy, and brilliant computer genius boyfriend... you see where I am going? Detective Dallas has her own Scooby Gang. There is an entire cast of characters that I care about here and they are in every novel. They are all quirky and you can't help but love them. Some more than others. That Rourke. I really love him. However, my point is that I care about all of them. If you are going to write a series, develop interesting characters.

That brings me back around to Janet Evanovich. I knew it was a series. My mother cornered me on vacation several years ago. We were gone a week. I read a book a day. The first was the worst. We are going to talk Plum for a while. This isn't going to be a book review because it isn't about any one book. This will be a character study. I like all of the characters. Janet Evanovich is brilliant with characters. Anyone aspiring to write great characters should read the Plum series. And they are funny. Seriously funny. Of course, our main gal is Stephanie Plum. She is the person I would want to be most of the time. Okay, pretty much all of the time. I totally get her. She and I are a lot alike. She pretty much backdoors her way into all of the good stuff in her life, too. The only thing she has going for her is persistence. That is it. An unwillingness to give up.

All of the books are written in the voice of Stephanie Plum. Book one starts like this: "There are some men who enter a woman's life and screw it up forever. Joseph Morelli did this to me - not forever, but periodically." Now, who can stop reading with an opener like that? Not me. I was hooked.

So, who is this Stephanie Plum? She grew up in Trenton, NJ. She was a lingerie buyer who is out of a job. She is so desperate for work that she goes to her cousin Vinnie, who I will tell you more about later, but he is vermin, to get a job as a file clerk. Vinnie is a bail bondsman. The clerk job is gone, however they need someone to catch their FTAs. That would be their Failure To Appears. Bail jumpers. I think you can see where this is going. There is no one in the world who is worse at this job than Stephanie Plum. (Well, I would probably be equally bad.) Her first skip, if she can catch him is... wait for it... Joe Morelli. The boy who stole her virginity and wrote about it on the bathroom wall. He is now a vice cop in a case that went very wrong and he skipped his arraignment. Stephanie will get $10,000 if she can find him.

This is the last time she saw him:
"The next time I saw him, I was three years older. I was on my way to the mall, driving my father's Buick when I spotted Morelli standing in front of Giovichinni's Meat Market. I gunned the V-8 engine, jumped the curb, and clipped Morelli from behind, bouncing him off the right front fender. I stopped the car and got out to assess the damage. "Anything broken?"

He was sprawled on the pavement, looking up my skirt. "My leg."

"Good," I said. Then I turned on my heel, got into the Buick and drove to the mall.

I attribute the incident to temporary insanity, and in my own defense, I'd like to say I haven't run over anyone since."

Yeah, she took the case. The fact that she has NO experience in catching FTAs didn't make a difference. The fact that Morelli had been a vice cop for years didn't factor in. The fact that most bounty hunters carry guns and know how to shoot them should have crossed her mind. It did. Very fast. And then it was gone. She did get a stun gun. Although, I think it has been used on her more times than she has actually stunned anyone else. Just sayin'. Did she get her man? This isn't a book review or a tell-all. We are delving into the person that is Stephanie Plum and what turns out to be HER Scooby Gang. This is just the teaser taste.

But, to answer your question... Stephanie ALWAYS gets her man. It's HOW it happens that makes the ride so hilarious. When your FTA handcuffs you naked to your own shower stall, you know that you just made a big bad mistake. When another really hot bounty hunter has to come to your apartment with cuff keys so that you aren't attached to your shower for the rest of your life... you have to ask yourself, is this a good or bad thing? Or maybe the question is... I really should work out more if I am going to spend so much time naked in these kinds of compromising positions. Or maybe I should work out more if I am going to be chasing the bad guys. I don't know. Too many questions for my overworked brain.

Now, I just wish I was Janet Evanovich. She has so many excellent characters in her Plum Scooby Gang. Tomorrow you will find out some more about Morelli the Vice cop (and virginity stealer) and Ranger (the hottie with cuff keys in the shower). He is a bounty hunter if the fee is high enough, was Special Forces, runs Rangeman. And he might be Batman. He has skills. Tomorrow's blog isn't for the weak of heart. Of course, it is still really about Stephanie and how she relates to these people. And since I am Stephanie; it's all about me.

Sunday, November 14, 2010


This whole worse than usual migraine thing is seriously getting to me. For those of you in the know about migraines, stress is the biggest trigger for a migraine sufferer. For me, I have been stuck in this loop de loop with the SAME migraine since 2003. Long story for tonight. I have written about it before. Long story short is that living in a chronically stressful situation for years made it impossible to break. When I got out of the situation, I didn't have the insurance. Basically, it was just a big ole mess. So, now it is all about trying to control the stress, regulating my hormones, trying to build up my adrenal gland (which produces the stress hormone), and that is just to deal with the migraine issues. The doctors are at a loss on the fibro stuff since the medication they were using to combat that caused my hair to start falling out. I think we will start a new plan soon, but an entire "family" of drugs is off the table because it contains the same stuff as the problem drug that I am titrating off of right now. There are no guarantees the new drug will work and my CRAP insurance has capped me out on any insurance on Rx for the rest of the year, so that means if it isn't a generic drug, we are looking at a really expensive medication. Yeah, I am thrilled with the options. This is pretty much why I don't talk about my medical stuff most of the time. I know I say that, but I have been talking about it a lot lately. That is because it is taking over my life right now. So...

It occurred to me while I was watching a romantic comedy this evening that maybe I should take this blog someplace more fun. Some place stress-free and fun. And that got me to thinking. I did the 30 Day Letter Challenge. That was not stress free and fun. That was cathartic and therapeutic and emotionally very healing. I cried through the letter challenge. However, it wasn't fun.

Some of you were around for the Plastic Joy Award. Purple Cow hated the Plastic Joy Award. I am not going to do that again. She might make a voo doo doll and start sticking me with needles. However, it did get me to thinking about fictional lives that I would like jump into and out of for fun. One could perceive that as a challenge, I suppose. Or not. However, I think the key here is fun. I have read some really wonderful novels that have made me cry and were written so well, but I would NOT want to be those people. Those characters hurt my heart. We are talking literal crying through most of the book, or at least half of it. It was pain. Heartbreak. Suffering. I have plenty of that right here. I am thinking more along the lines of characters that I would like TO BE. For various reasons. So, I am thinking that maybe even Purple Cow can get on board with this one, because it isn't so much about HOT MEN (which are never a bad thing, btw), but more about what qualities jazz me up in a fictional female character.

The forums for this are endless. Movies. Books. TV. You know I will have to include youtube footage for my movie and TV characters. My fictional characters from novels will be in the written word. I suppose I will rely on the author and my interpretation of why I like what the author is doing. I probably won't do this all of the time. Because every now and then I get a wild hair going about something and feel the need to blog about it. I used to do that more regularly. Of course, my thinking was less corrupted then. By that, I mean my head wasn't freaking killing me all of the time.

Before I let this post go, I want to link to a post by Martha. She is a relatively new blogger that I have been following. She is a chronic pain sufferer. She is in the process of the 30 Day Letter Writing Challenge. If you aren't in the loop yet about my Big Idea, I really don't have the wherewith all to explain it right now, but long story short. I think that the insurance companies are dictating the quality of care that we are receiving. Because of that, doctors are overbooking their schedules to make up for the fact that they cannot make enough money to meet their bills due to the fact that insurance companies decide what is "usual and customary" and they have to "eat" the rest. So, they book 3-4 patients in a 15 minute time slot. Nurses evaluate your symptoms, doctors read your chart, and 95% of the time they have diagnosed you before they walk into the room. They have to do this in order to see all of the patients scheduled for that day. You actually only have about 4 minutes allotted to you. If your "condition" is a sinus infection, strep, or something like that, this really isn't a problem. If your condition is actually the first symptom of a bigger problem and your doctor treats the symptom and not the root, this is disastrous. Why? Because YOU MAY NEVER KNOW WHAT THE ROOT OF YOUR PROBLEM IS BECAUSE IT IS SO FAR BACK IN YOUR CHART THAT YOUR DOCTOR NEVER CONNECTS THAT FIRST INNOCUOUS PROBLEM TO THE ULTIMATE THING THAT "BREAKS" YOU.

Your body is a lot like a vehicle. One thing goes wrong. If you don't "fix" it, it will cause another part to fail. If you don't fix that, it will cause more failure until you have a HUGE PROBLEM. Doctors are too busy to treat the root. They only have time to treat the symptoms. We would never accept that treatment from our mechanic if we took our car in for repair. If our mechanic told us that he was fixing our vehicle with paperclips and duct tape, we would demand that our vehicle be taken down from his lift, returned immediately, and we would never go back. Our doctors are treating us with paperclips and duct tape and we don't know it. The insurance companies are forcing this down their (and our) throats. If you have a small problem that becomes a bigger problem and your doctor continues to treat your symptoms, you MUST change doctors. There is a ROOT problem. And that is why my website is so important. No one should live in chronic pain. No one. However, until that problem is solved, the people who are living in chronic pain shouldn't be made to suffer because of the people who abuse pain medication. This whole situation makes me so angry that I really don't know who I want to slap more. Insurance companies are first. Doctors who enable abusers are second. Abusers are third. Doctors who don't stand up are fourth. Yeah, that is a lot of smacking.

You see, I am a chronic pain sufferer. Sometimes I don't take my pain medication just because I know it is doing damage to my internal organs. Yeah, I voluntarily take the hit if I think I can stand it. I take the pain medication when I just can't take it anymore. Here's the deal with chronic pain: it wears on you. Just imagine someone beating on you all day, every day, with a hammer. Sometimes hard. Sometimes soft. But all the time. For seven years. That's my story. Seven years of being hit in the head with hammer. I don't want your pity. I just want the hammer to stop hitting me in the head. I want to finally get SSD so I get insurance so I can get the medication (as in an IV), probably repeated IVs to make it stop. Then the migraine meds might work. Then I want to go through the bloodwork to find out what all of my other funky symptoms are and start treating those. I want to be able to take migraine meds when I feel one coming on and actually have it work. After that, when I have all of my issues straightened away and my website up and running, I want to help other people stop accepting paper clips and duct tape. I want to build houses. I know that there is a better way and I am going to help people get there. We are going to turn this boat around.

image found at www.weheartit.com

Saturday, November 13, 2010


I am still doing rounds with the migraines and they are definitively winning. I still haven't gotten my site onto a host server, and I have yet to upload Microsoft Office to tell if any of the mumbo jumbo on my computer might be my book. I have also not checked my saved files on the flash drive or CD to see if The End was saved to know whether I should worry about this novel. In other words, I have been "doing something close to nothing." That translates to lying in bed and moaning about my migraine. To all of you who were worried about the axe: you can stop worrying about that. Even in my woebegone state of serious agony, I ruled out the axe. I could see no good way to get any kind of grip on the handle (it is too long), and be able to effectively use it to cut off my head. Logistically, it just wasn't possible. It took me about four hours to work that one out. I really tried to mentally work with the axe using every strategy my mind could conjure, and I got zip. So, the axe was rendered as useless as a device to separate my head from the rest of me. Unless someone else wanted to help me with the task. I took a poll of my family members, and all of them objected vehemently to using the axe to chop off my head. So... it has been set aside as an unworkable plan. In lieu of that, I lie in bed and... well, that is it. There is no end to that sentence. I watch the clock turn until I can take my next round of pain medication. I haven't even read your blogs. Sorry.

My parents are preparing to leave for a few days. Then they will be back for a few days. Then they will be gone for something like ten days. This is not a great time for them to be leaving. I am less than thrilled with this plan. If there were ever a time that I felt less than capable of cooking anything for myself, it would be now. I am trying hard not to dwell on the negatives of this at the moment. They leave tomorrow.

Turns out that Social Security must be seriously considering my disability case. I knew that it was in the final stages because I was informed by allsup (they are handling my claim). They called and said it was under doctor review, which is evidently one of the the last stages before a decision is rendered. I got something in the mail yesterday indicating that they wanted me to see a doctor. This doctor would file a report. This was about my mental fitness. I got another piece of mail today about another appointment with a different doctor for a physical. Apparently, they want two reports from independent sources gauging my overall mental and physical health. Well, I look and feel like crap, so I feel good about these appointments.... I guess.

Mom just came home from church. The ladies of the church had a dinner for the veterans (I think). The explanation from my stepdad was somewhat confusing and I didn't want to sound stupid by asking the same question over and over. But I think that was what was going down. Anyway, she called me into the kitchen to show me the take-out boxes she brought home. Apparently she was worried about my eating over the next few days, too, so I now have enough food to last me until they get home again. My mom is so awesome. And she knows me pretty well. I would probably eat pretzels for the next three days if not for her industriousness. Yeah, that is how I get when I have bad migraines. I would probably mix it up with granola bars. And a turkey sandwich for lunch. I know I am missing some food groups there, but I can eat just about all of those things in bed. This is just one of the reasons I am sleeping alone... Yeah, I do find crumbs from the granola bars. I once found a nut stuck in my hair. Migraines are not only painful, but they are nasty. I intend to share that with the doctors. Particularly the mental one. I think they should know just how low I have sunk. Hmmmm.

Well, this is is still magical song Saturday. It almost slipped to Sunday. But, I actually thought of an inspirational song to share today and there you go. My mom is going to be going to one of the local nursing homes to play the piano and sing songs with the residents every Tuesday afternoon. She was told that they will love it. Apparently singing is the last thing to go in elderly people, even those with dementia. They can lose the ability to talk, but they can still sing. I remember that when we visited my grandma. Her communication had deteriorated badly. Mom had brought lots of sheet music and the three of us were around the piano. Before each song, my mom would ask grandma if she remembered the song, and every time my grandma would say, "No." However, as soon as my mom started playing it and singing, my grandma joined right in. So, I know that what that person told my mom is true. Whatever part of the brain stores your musical memory is different than the part that communicates via talking. The last thing to go will be your ability to sing. However, beyond that, the last thing you will enjoy will be music. So, here for your musical enjoyment...

I love that video. I suppose it speaks to me double right now because it is hitting me right where I am living. I first heard it when my migraines were demolishing my life. In other words, back in 2005/2006 was when I first heard it. Migraines had taken control of my life and this song spoke to me. Well, for those of you have been reading this for a while know that I got dropkicked right back to that place and, and then some. I didn't think it was possible to be worse off than I was before, and I was WRONG. So, this song really speaks to me now. I hope that one day it will speak to a lot of people.

I feel like I spun the wheel for the 80s pick this week. Seriously. I really didn't even try. It was like pulling someone out of the hat. Maybe that is what I love so much about the 80s. There are so many people in the hat. It doesn't feel at all like work. The only hard part is finding good video. Youtube sometimes makes finding the video tough. That is infuriating. Prince's PURPLE RAIN record was a lot like Michael Jackson's THRILLER record, in the sense that there was so much incredible music in one place. It was the same concept that INXS used for KICK. Instead of putting only a couple of good songs on the record and then using filler, they went for it with every song. The idea was to make the entire record so good that people wanted to listen to the whole thing. You would think that this would be common sense. Actually, not so much. I remember having actual records and picking up the needle to skip over songs. You know, the bad ones. More and more artists were going for it with the entire record. PURPLE RAIN was another example of that.

Let me be really clear about something here. Prince is not Michael Jackson. Prince never tried to be Michael Jackson. Prince had his own style. Prince was always a little naughtier than Michael Jackson. I remember my first day of college very clearly. There was a frat house next to my dorm. The guys had a homemade sign posted in their front yard that said, "We're the guys your mom warned you about." I eyed the sign lasciviously and couldn't wait until my mom left. I spent a lot of time thinking about ways to get into that house to see if that was indeed true. It was. They were very bad boys. I loved it there. Shhhhh. That is a secret. Actually, there were naughtier frat boys at my college. I knew this because I went in search of them. Cuter and naughtier. So, that sign really didn't live up to it's rep. I know which house it SHOULD have been posted in front of, but I'll never tell.

Now where was I? Oh, yeah. Prince. I remember spending some time pondering the lyrics of LITTLE RED CORVETTE, and decided that was a very naughty song. I was in junior high at the time, so it took me some time to piece that one together. We didn't have lyrics.com, so I had to play it over and over. I also had no expertise in this area, so when I say a LONG time I am being totally serious. I finally wrote it all down and took it to my next door neighbor. It came down to, "Does this mean what I think it means?" She just gave me "the look." Oh yeah, that was a very naughty song. Prince was NOT Michael Jackson. And LITTLE RED CORVETTE always did funny things to my heart when it came on. I don't know what it is about naughty boys. I don't want to keep one, but they are thrilling to be around. Like I might learn something by observation or maybe the magic will just leap off of them and onto me. Of course, I would be much more covert with my naughtiness. As it is, I don't have any handle on the naughty at all. Someone once told me I had that hot schoolteacher look. Woo hoo. Thanks alot. I am not a teacher. But, I will take the "hot" reference. Now beat it. Ooops. Involuntary Michael Jackson reference.

This clip is mixing up live footage along with clips from his movie, PURPLE RAIN. Yes, there was a movie starring Prince and he also made the soundtrack. Do you see how this is working now? This is another case of what made what more money? MTV playing the video? Did that make the song more popular? Did that make the movie sell better? Did the movie success cause the soundtrack to sell better causing it to get more play on MTV? What came first? The chicken or the egg? This is another case of all of these riding the other to outstanding financial success. I WANT MY MTV.

I would say that the second pick is harder, except that it is tough to find original Prince video on Youtube. LITTLE RED CORVETTE is boring (except for the lyrics). The video itself is nothing special. I am partial to I WOULD DIE 4 YOU. Sadly, I can't find the original video for it. However, I also really like RASPBERRY BERET, and I was able to find it. So, that solved that. Like I said, Prince is just on this side of naughty. Makes me wonder what that symbol stood for that he changed his name to when he did that back in the day. Or maybe it still is that symbol. Whatever. I bet it's something just this side of naughty;-)

Thursday, November 11, 2010


Today is the day that I celebrate all of the amazingness that you contributed to blogland this week. Yep, it is that day again. What day is that you ask? How can you have forgotten? Drum roll please. It is HERE'S TO YOU THURSDAY, of course! The very best day of the blogging week. It is the precursor to the best day of the work week.

Here is what is going down: this is a weekly event. The best (or worst) part is that I am not going to explain why I chose "whatever" footage for each of you. If, you watch your footage and are scratching your head at the end, well that means I didn't do a very good job. However, all is not lost. You can email me at rarichards68@gmail.com and ask me what I was thinking when I chose that particular piece of footage off of youtube and connected it to you. And then I will tell you. Then I will start sending up prayers that I haven't offended the crap out of whoever is on the receiving end of that email....lol. Because, honestly, I will tell you right now... I admire all of you enormously so I really hope that doesn't happen.

Also, this is not an exclusive venture by any means. I hope that you will take the time to watch ALL of the footage because I don't pick bad footage:-) I also hope that you might check out the blog of the person I dedicated the footage to because they are pretty darn awesome. If you haven't figured this out yet... I pick the footage based on something that you've written or something that I've gleaned from your personality. Think on that for a while... If you are having trouble watching the entire video (meaning it is being cut off on one side), click on it a couple of times and it will take you straight over to youtube. If you click on the four squares at the bottom corner of the video, it will enlarge it to fill your screen. The escape key will bring it back to normal size. The back arrow will bring you back to my page.

Now, let's get this PARTY STARTED!!!!

This one is for everyone (This is Part 1 of 2. You will get Part 2 next week.):

Click here to watch the video.

This is for That One Girl at What Was I Saying Again?:

This one is for JJ at The Disconnected Writer:

This one is for Pam at live, laugh, love with the pondering princess:

This one is for Martha at A Real (Upstate) NY Housewife:

This one is for Kim at Saving My Life:

This one is for Purple Cow at Australian in Athens:

This one is for Yenta Mary the Food Floozie:

This one is for Phoenix at Res Ipsa Loquitur:

I also wanted to take just a minute to thank all of our Veterans. Thank you.

image found at www.weheartit.com

Wednesday, November 10, 2010


Peeps. I am tempted to just not post today. However, I am here. I read your blogs. Commented on most. I might try this bullet point style. That is new and different for me. Crazy Texas Mommy does it all the time on Wednesdays and it works for her. Not sure it will work for me. I am me. She is her. I will still try it.

*I woke up at 6:22am with a bone crushing migraine.
*I wish I could say that this is an unusual occurrence.
*I can't.
*However, this one was bone crushing to the max. I was thinking about axes and how much I would like to sever my head from the rest of my body. Yeah, it was that kind of bone crushing.
*This is not my favorite way to wake up. I used to think that the alarm clock was cruel and unusual punishment. Now, I think that the alarm clock is a freaking bowl of cherries with whip cream on top.
*After I registered the thought about the axe, and that I didn't know where one was, or how I could possibly use it on myself, I went for the pain medication. There was also the problem of lifting my head from the pillow. With bone crushers, that is a feat in itself. Next problem: try to figure out in the dark which medicine bottle contains pain medication.
*Since I can't read in the freaking dark, I tapped my light once, for minimal light, and found the medication. I then closed my eyes and tapped it three more times to turn it off. Then, I opened the top drawer of my nightstand for my stash of granola bars. Pain meds are never good on an empty stomach.
*Usually, it takes about twenty minutes and I can feel the teeth start to let go. I will probably still have the tap of the migraine, but it won't be a jackhammer.
*20 Minutes Later and I was still thinking about that axe. And I was starting to do that throw up thing in my mouth. That is always fun. Don't you like to start your day like that?
*Well, that meant getting up and going for the phenergan. I am not going to live with that sh*t any longer than necessary. Took my pill and went back to bed waiting on that sweet relief.
*What the fuck is up with that? You heard that right. When you live with a bone crushing migraine for six (count them six) hours before you can take more pain medication you are entitled to say fuck repeatedly.
*At noon, I realized I was out of Rx medication. What THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT? I took my over the counter pain meds, went into the kitchen and cried on my mother's shoulder, because I was on the cusp of a serious breakdown. I didn't literally cry because that would only give me a sinus headache on top of my migraine.
*She called the pharmacy. They said I had no refills left. What THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT?
*I told mom that I dropped off the Rx the previous month and if they will check their computer they are just sitting there waiting to be accessed. CVS is so fucked up right now. I miss Walgreens, but there is not one anywhere close to where we live.
*She called them back. Sure enough. It was right there in their system if ANYONE HAD BOTHERED TO CHECK. What a bunch of dumbasses. It was a good thing mom was handling this, because I was still thinking about the axe that we don't have. Well, we might have one, but I don't do the yardwork. Finding out where it is probably isn't a good idea.
*But we do have steak knives and I might have used one on that CVS idiot on the other end of the phone. Dumbass.
*At 6pm, I got another round of pain medication, and started to feel human. That doesn't mean good. Just human. I have stopped thinking about ways to use an axe to separate my head from my body. So, we are making progress.
*And Misery sent me some pics of Marshall Mathers via the email that made me smile. However, she can't remember where she found the one where he was really smiling. And she noted after looking at LOTS of pics that I am right about his never smiling for pictures. It is totally true. He never smiles for pictures.
*However, I think I might have the email still where she told me she found the initial picture. When I feel better I will look for it.
*I don't know the status of my novel. Can't take that pain today.
*Whenever I read your blogs (all of you), I am amazed at how smart you are. Seriously smart. It makes me wonder why you read my rambling thoughts. I probably shouldn't have said that.
*Now you will be questioning your judgment about why you read my rambling thoughts, too.
*That can't be good.
*Some people just don't know when to shut up.

image found at www.photobucket.com